Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Uncomfortable in my own skin (Becky)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 13 Comments

Age: 29
2 pregnancies and 3 births
Ages of children: 8yo, 4 mo twins (4 months 1 week postpartum)

My life has been about many journeys. My husband and I got married when we were 18. Of course most people thought I was pregnant… I got pregnant at 20 and had our daughter right before I turned 21. It was a pretty uneventful pregnancy with no complications. Natalee arrived on her due date October 20th 2000. I was about 175 lb when I got pregnant with her and gained 50 lbs with her landing me at 225 on the day I gave birth. She left me with a road map of stretch marks from my belly button down to my pubic area. I was able to lose about 30 lbs after her birth and stayed around 195 or so for the last 8 years.

I can’t say I was entirely happy with how heavy I was, but I did like the curves that came with gaining a little weight. In January of 2008, my husband and I decided (after much begging!) to have one more baby. And so another journey begins. I went off the pill and by February 2008 I was pregnant. I was so happy! I had my first OB appointment on March 28th… I will NEVER forget that day because it changed our entire life as we know it. My OB did my first ultrasound and discovered I was carrying twins! I thought I was going to pass out on the table… I think I went through every emotion in the book!! We found out in May that they were boys and 70% chance identical. Again I had a very uneventful pregnancy. No issues with high blood pressure, no scares, no hospital visits… I could no longer bend over once I hit 25 weeks… and by 36 weeks I was begging to be induced. He finally induced me on October 20th 2008…. If your keeping track, that was also my daughters birthday. I went in to the hospital at 11 am had my water broken and pitocin started by 1:30 pm and was rolled into the OR at 3:30 pm. Silas arrived at 3:59 pm and Marcus at 4:05pm. Marcus was a little harder delivery because he was breech. He did not breath right away and once he did start breathing his apgar scores were very low (3 and 5).

They are 4 months old now. When I look at my body in the mirror, its not mine. I don’t know where I am, but its not me that I see. I see a woman with stretchmarks and fat rolls and breasts that are obscene and gross…. Don’t get me wrong… I am thankful every day for the wonderful job my body did in carrying my babies. I gained 46 with my boys and have only managed to lose 20 so far. I am uncomfortable in my own skin… and I don’t like the feeling… So now I begin a new journey to find me inside here…

The pictures are 25 weeks, 32 weeks, 36 weeks 3 days, 4 months pp, and my happy boys.

The Best Site Ever! (Kym)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 5 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

This Is going to be the third time posting on The shape of a mother. My name is Kym and I am mother to a beautiful 21 month old baby girl! I started my journey into motherhood, a very insecure 18 year old teen. I have been insecure since i can remember and pregnancy didn’t help. I started getting stretch marks All over my belly, as early as 4 months along. I thought this was completely out of the ordinary, I had never even gotten a stretch mark while going through puberty, so i spent endless nights leading up to the birth scanning the internet for pictures of women who had stretchmarks as bad as mine! And surprisingly there was next to nothing! When I found this sight it was truly great, I read every single story that had been posted! after i had my daughter i suffered terribly from depression. This site really helped me forget about me being sad and showed that i wasn’t alone. Fast forward until now, I am now married to my daughters father, and we have been together 5 happy years. I know he doesn’t care about my stretchmarks, which i Too have learned to live with, They have faded SO MUCH!! and it makes me very happy to say that, Unfortunately I am a bit overweight,and due to eating crappy, But i go to the gym, and Ive been eating healthy to get rid of yes still my baby weight! I know tons of women who are having babies now and the second i find out they are pregnant i send them the link to your site! I tell them it helped me accept my body and love it. I know they all visit SOAM on a daily basis!!

1st and 2nd pics were taken 1 month and 1 week before i gave birth
3rd is 1 month p.p
4th me and my daughter
5th my stomach now!!!

14 mos PP – My Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

2 pregnancies- 1 MC at 16 weeks – one healthy baby. 14 Months postpartum.

Thinking back at how paranoid I was pre-baby, im amazed that i have accepted my new body as much as i have. I know it doesn’t look so bad, and i should wear my mommy body and each and every stretch mark with pride, but at times its hard, as im sure many mothers know. When I got pregnant at 19, I was 124 lbs and 5’4″, I gained a total of 60 lbs and had a beautiful baby girl weighing in at 9 lbs 6 oz, and 21 1/4 inches long. I look in the mirror and see the body that fought to keep my daughter alive during my long and difficult pregnancy, a body that went through 2 days of mild labor and 21 hrs of hard labor with 2 hrs of pushing. A body that is perfectly imperfect. Now, 14 mos later i weigh 114 lbs, not due to diet and exercise, but because ive been a bit sick, but i want to encourage those of you who are unhappy with your weight, don’t give up hope, and you are all beautiful.
Although I am sometimes disgusted with my stretchmarks and the extra skin that used to be a perfect flat tummy, I am not ashamed of how I look, it is a badge, a badge that shows the strength, patience, and love it takes to create and grow something so beautiful and precious.

My other side of pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions 17 Comments

5 weeks post birth. Stretch mark and c-section scar city. As a self portrait artist i really wanted to take a picture of my belly, not only for closure but also to point out some of the unrealistic views women have on what their bodies will be like after having a baby. I know – I was one of them. I’m not sad exactly that my body looks the way it does now – more that i didnt appreciate what it was like before my pregnancy.



What my body can do! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Homebirth, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 14 Comments

I am 3 months pp with baby number 3, and I couldn’t be happier. I LOVE pregnancy and birth, and feel so empowered to have accomplished 3 wonderful natural births, the last two at home in my bedroom. I have some deep stretch marks on my belly, but they are sacred and special to me, reminding me of how blessed I am to have carried life in my womb, every time I see them, they make me smile! I couldn’t imagine not having had the opportunity I have had to carry my babies and nourish them in my womb, and then with my breast milk. How could I resent something that represents such an amazing and special time in my life?

I worked very hard during my pregnancies, working out to the day before delivery with each one, and eating a healthy diet. I gained 21lbs with my first baby and 26 lbs with both my second and third. At 10 weeks pp this time I was already 2lbs below my starting weight, and feeling great. Though I kept the weight gain to a minimal my body has made definite changes over the three pregnancies. Of course there are the stretch marks, and my shape is no longer that of a 17 year old girl, to me it now has the shape of a mother, and that is nothing to be ashamed of!!!

I am 25 years old and married to my high school sweet heart. My boys are 4.5yrs old, 2 years old, and 3 months old. Here are some pictures of what my body has done during the past few years!

-The first picture is at my Home Birth just after my third son was born in November 2008, 3 months ago. What an amazing feeling to know my body is capable of this!!

-The next two are me just about 1 year after my second son was born, not long before I found I was expecting my third. I had worked very very hard at the gym to try to tone my body, so I just kept right up with it all the way through my pregnancy.

-The next two are me 40 weeks pregnant on my Due Date with my third baby (4 days before he was born)

-Then a picture of my big stretch mark while I am in labour at home, and the next is my belly just about 2 hours or so after he was born.

-And finally me today, 3 months PP after 3 beautiful boys were born from my body.



Thank you (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 1 Comment

I had my first son 21 years ago. I remember being somewhat prepared for what the birth would be like (honestly, not as bad as I expected!) but what completely threw me was looking down at my body during that first post-birth shower. My stomach looked like that of a 90 year old woman! Droopy, saggy, weirdly wrinkled. I was horrified. I burst into tears because I thought I would look like that always and I remember thinking “why didn’t anyone TELL me??”. Of course I eventually bounced back (albeit a little slower with each child) but I sure felt alone at that moment. I think your site is wonderful for new mom’s and moms-to-be. Every mother’s body is something to be celebrated and I want to thank all of you for sharing your stories and pictures.

Working Hard to be Me Again! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 7 Comments

I used to be 5’2 and weighed 115… when I got pregnant I gained 30 pounds.. mind you IM 5’2! So all that weight really REALLY shows! I now weigh 142 ~ 17 months later! I nursed exclusively for 16 months so I didn’t try and lose the weight but now I am getting on it! I hope to be in a bikini this summer… and with tanning my stretch marks have seemed to fade a little… I am just so ready to feel comfortable in my skin! Here are a few pics of me … hopefully I can post some nice after pictures soon!



Making Peace, Finally (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Having finally embraced that my waistline is not nearly as much of an “attribute” as it once was, I find myself, now at 28 with a 7 and 3 year old, truly loving my curves! I actually enjoy wearing flowing, comfortable, empire waist tops that don’t cling to my now ooooh so soft fleshy tummy and droopy breasts. I relish in the fact that I don’t have to try and ‘suck it in” to look sexy or trendy anymore. I look beautiful in anything I wear as long as it fits my ‘new’ body the right way! Having nursed my beautiful babies a combined total of 5 1/2 years, having one natural labor and delivery and one planned c section, I feel as though my body has blessed me in so many ways! I am currently about 185 lbs which is a little much on my 5’4″ frame so for my health and my comfort I am trying to eat healthier and get more exercise, but I just wanted to celebrate these ‘love’ handles, stretch marks, extra fat and saggy boobies with all the other BEAUTIFUL mommies on here! Thank you for reading



More Progress!

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Here’s another of my previous entries. It’s been quite a long time since I posted on here, I’ve been working very hard, working out almost every day and eating right. It’s been a slow process but I am now 5 1/2 months postpartum and the difference from my first few entries is VERY noticeable! I’m so excited to be making noticeable progress, I hope it continues! I have noticed, though, that my belly seems to be a little lopsided, I suppose it’s the way the doctor made the incision? In any case, here are a few pictures from today in some my belly is relaxed and in some I am flexing the abdominal muscles that I have worked very hard to strengthen! Hope I can inspire someone. =]