Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

It’s Not the Same Body, But it’s Fine By Me (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 22 Comments

Pre-pregnancy weight: 107
Labor weight: 160
Post-pregnancy weight: 104

I am posting because this site helped me so much. I came here mourning the body I used to have and wondering if I’d ever get it back.

The answer is: it’s not the same body, but in some ways it’s better.

I first came here in despair. I’d gained nearly 60 lbs. through pregnancy; over half my body weight. I was terrified. I’d never been overweight. My body was alien to me and I was scared of losing my husband because I did not remotely resemble myself. Though he would never leave me, my husband is the kind of man to whom physical appearance is very important. When I asked him, six weeks post-partum, when we were going to have sex again, he said: “When you lose the pregnancy weight.” Yes, I gave him hell, and yes he regrets saying it. But that really devastated me.

When nursing didn’t work, it dawned on me I had at least 45 lbs to lose without breastfeeding. I was so ashamed of my body. I hated it. I destroyed every photo of pregnancy and new-motherhood, except the one you see below. I wish I had them now, because I am secure enough to view it. I am not that woman.

Over the course of a year, I lost it all, plus some. I ran an hour every night, five days a week. It helps that I love to run! I did hand weights, yoga, pilates. Ate the food pyramid (www.mypyramid.gov). Today, I weigh my high-school weight. It really took the full year. For those post-partum like me, who are wondering how much can be changed, I cannot get my body back exactly as it was. I think the reason is loose skin from excessive weight gain. I will always have a pooch above the scar and I will always have some crepe paper skin when I bend. I will also, from time to time, always have the niggling voice that erodes my self confidence because my body is not that of a virgin! The smooth, flat tummy is gone. I can say with confidence that I have tried everything. Only a tummy tuck would change this, and I don’t want one. My body, to me (when I am rational!), is just fine. I can rock any outfit I want, including a bikini, and the stretch marks have completely faded. I am stronger than ever, our sex life is better than before, and we have an amazing boy. If I could say anything to new moms whose posts I read here, every day, I would say: Try. Even if you fail, you may really like what you end up with. I absolutely love my body and don’t regret a thing. Thank you to the moms who helped comfort and inspire me!

Age: 34
No. of pregnancies and births: 1/1
Age of children: 17 months

Photos: 3rd Trimester; Weight Loss 14 months PP; Pooch, Scar and Crepe Paper

Just Wanted to Share (Karla)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Quote, Submissions 3 Comments

Hi! I have been a visitor for years now, I have never writen my story…but one day I will! today I just wanted to share something with all my shapeofamother friends…

I was reading The Velveteen Rabbit (by Margery Williams) to my 5 year old today. I have read this story before, but just as other great stories, you can always find something new every time you read them. I came upon this wonderful quote:

*The Rabbit is talking to the wise and old skin horse about being REAL. This is the skin horse’s explanation: “It doesnt happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That is why it doesnt often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things dont matter at all, because once you are REAL you cant be ugly,except to people who dont understand.” WE are REAL, we are beautiful.

Update: 7 Weeks Postpartum, 7 Pounds to Go (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Previous entry here.

Well I am now 7 months postpartum and have managed to get ride of the last 7 pounds. I am now realizing that I am lucky to have lost all of my pregnancy weight so quickly and to have gotten most of my old body back. Breastfeeding has certainly taken a toll on my breasts but I am totally fine with it. I also realize that I had put a lot of pressure on myself when I wrote my first post. My body looked great even at 7 weeks pp and I should have given myself a break.
I am now definitely giving myself a break. Baby and I are staying active but I am not back at the gym or running, we are salsa dancing, swimming and walking.
I am loving being a mommy and I now realize that all the sacrifices we women do to become mommies are all worth it.
I love my body more than ever because it has served a purpose and it created a miracle. It now tells the story of my son’s birth and all the love that I have for him.

In Better Shape – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Previous entry here.

Age :31
1 pregnancy/1birth
a Baby girl,, 4 mo pp

I posted on here for the first time a month ago,, grateful for this site,, but a mite obsessed with getting back into shape as quickly as possible. And even though im still not where i want to be physically,, the condition of my heart, mind and soul are much improved,, causing me to almost change shape in my own eyes. For the first time in my life , i feel ‘womanly’ ,, ive had a moment or two in the past where i felt ok about my figure,, even a tad appreciative.. but not as strongly as i do now. My body brought forth an adorable, healthy, smart baby girl who gives all those around her joy! It went through an unplanned C section, and healed quickly with no complications! and even though i wasnt able to continue breastfeeding past the first two weeks,, It still provided my daughter with those first vitamins she coudnt get from any store! I still plan on eating healthy and getting exercise (and yes,, not too happy with the added cellulite lol) but im not going to lose precious sleep and time with my daughter trying to get six pack abs or a rock hard body,, i actually think my husband enjoys me new softness. He s like a little juiciness anyways lol :) So to all of you struggling with body image, self esteem and PPD, know it can be overcome through surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people,, prayer and meditation and little bit of kicking yourself in the rear to get in gear and appreciating your body for the miracle it produces!! Be Blessed all!

Pics: Pre- pregnancy,, 36 weeks and laying out…bath time!,, reading with mom… now, four months pp

Upset With My Body at 21 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 15 Comments

Hello everyone!! Im so glad I found this site where I can post pictures of my body and no one will be negative about it. After 9 long months I reached 38 weeks and nothing…No contractions, Cervix was closed, So on my 40th week appoiment My doctor gave me and iduction date. However a few days before my induction date I had a appoiment to check on the babys heartbeat. Her heartbeat started slowing down everyfew mins…I went so down that nurse quickly sent me to Labor and delivery. There, I started calling family and telling them. Doctors did a few different things with me to speed up the process. However my cervix didnt go past 3centimeters. They decided to wait a bit longer….They gave me the epidural and told me to try to sleep for a while. I fell asleep for like 5mins and all of a sudden like 5 or 6 doctors rushed into my room saying the babys heartbeat dropped really low and they moved me into different positions to get the baby to move. I was taken out the room by bed and was told I needed an Emergency C-section…As I was being brought into the Csection room I stated feeling cold, So cold that I started shaking a lot. I felt dizzy and felt like my body was just leaving…I started throwing up….About 30 minuted later my baby was out my stomach. I however didnt felt any better to hold her. I was shaking a lot and they cover me with blankets but that didnt worked…As soon as I saw my daughter I felt like I didnt want her, like I didnt loved her…I was taken into recovery room and I felt like crying, I really didnt feel like a mom because I believed my body failed since I wasnt able to give birth.. Even after being sent home I still felt like I wanted my baby.. I cried all the times because I didnt feel an attachment towards her…I wanted my baby delivered vaginally and wasnt able…Now Im 3 weeks PP and I feel so close to my babygirl….I love her dearly..Now my problem is my body..I hate it…I feel like my boobs have sagged a bit.. I think one is bigger thanthe other…I hate my strechmarks….and most of all I hate how my stomach hangs over my csection….I just hope im able to exercise all this away…..Thanks everyone…..

21..Age..
First pregnancy..
3 weeks PP

Don’t Call Me “Lucky” (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Homebirth, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 56 Comments

I am 10 months postpartum from my second daughter’s birth. She was a c-section after I had complications following a (successful) home birth with my first daughter. I am happy with my postpartum body but it frustrates me to no end that people assume that I just got lucky with my postpartum body, as if there are only two categories of moms – – lazy lucky ones that look good and lazy unlucky ones that don’t. I worked really, really hard following the c-section – I didn’t snap back like people assume! I got my doctor’s approval and was at the gym 6 days a week (30 minutes on the elliptical machine, he said it was okay because it was no impact) two weeks after my c-section. Åt 6 weeks, I got the okay to start running again. I gained 48 pounds with my last pregnancy and 50 with my first. I am happy to say that I have lost all the weight — and you can, too …. even if you aren’t one of the “lucky” ones that don’t have to make an effort :P I wasn’t!

The first pictures are me 2 days after my c-section, taken the day I got home. You can see the yellow glue still on my side from the spinal. The next pictures are 4 weeks postpartum, and the last picture is 8 months postpartum. I’ve made some more small improvements since the last picture but feel it’s representative enough to post!

~Your Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 6 pregnancies / 2 births – one vaginal / one c-sesction(4 miscarriages)
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 year old and 10 month old

Let Me Out of Here (Angele)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Diastasis Recti, Postpartum, Submissions, Surrogacy, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

Hi everyone, this is my third entry; my first 2 can be seen here and here. A little recap. I am 29 years old and I have 2 daughters, ages 8 and 4. I recenlty gave birth to a third daughter in April 2010; but she was not mine to keep, I was a surrogate! :) I had decided long ago after the birth of my second daughter that one day I would have a tummy tuck and get my diastasis recti and lax skin fixed!! I did it!! I am 5 weeks post surgery and recovering slowly but surely.

As I was looking through some pictures, I was amazed at what I saw. I had always joked that when I was pregnant, it felt as though the girls were trying to claw their way out of me!!Well, it looks like they almost suceeded! I outlined the clawmarks aka: stretchmarks on my belly so it could be easier for you all to see!! LoL 10 silver clawprints !! I have to say, I am so happy that I still have these! I love them!! Would a smooth belly be prettier to look at? Possibly but not to me! I may have altered my mommy belly, but I cherish my childrens permanent finger paintings! :)

092910-angele-1

Lost and sad (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

Age: 20
Number of children: one
I am 13 months post postpartum.

Hello, currently i am struggling with body image. I had my child 13 months ago, and my body has slightly improved since then. I am 5 ft 4 and weigh 130 lbs. I gained 96 lbs during my pregnancy and had pre-clampsia. I was 130 lbs before i was pregnant so i lost all my baby weight within one year by hard work. But for some reason, i do not look the same. Nor do i look just as thin as i was before. I got stretch marks all over my stomach, my thighs, back of legs, underarms, breasts and hips. I destroyed my body by caring for a beautiful life. I never want to get pregnant again and just want to enjoy my daughter and whats left of my body to enjoy. I feel bummed out. I am still trying to lose weight and i look way better clothed than i do naked. My boyfriend does not mind one bit and tells me he loves my body. I do not understand that. How can some women be so flawless, and all i did was get pregnant and my body went through a major change. My breasts actually lost a cup size (34B) after i gave birth and are not perky anymore. My belly looks like oatmeal and the only gorgeous thing i can stand is my face. Since that is what others see and compliment. My childless-friends even freak out when they see my stomach. But reassure me it will go away. I know it won’t and i think i have tried everything to fix it. I am not considering plastic surgery, so instead, i pretend i am a goddess dressed in a white robe and imagine that every women years ago knew that this destroyed body was actually beautiful. So i should love it too, since it is spectacular in its own unique way. But i do feel sad, and lost. I can not stop myself from criticizing every part of me.

Mother of 6: Story and Photos UPDATE (Stacy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Update, VBAC 12 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 6
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 11, 7, 5, 4, 2, 18 months

I have come along way in my acceptance of myself as a vibrant, powerful human with a purpose. I have discovered that purpose is to love myself, and others. My body acting merely as an expression of that love, marred by marks, like nails through the palms, to indicate sacrifice and willingness. I love what I have been given so much, that I have no choice but to express it in every way possible; including being comfortable enough in my own skin to expose it.

Updated here.

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 6 Comments

im a 29 old mother of 2 boys.my first one is 4 years and second is 12 weeks.first pregnancy started at 63 kg,i put on 30 kg and by the time my son was 1 year old i lost all the weight(brestefeeding for 6 months and cambridge diet after that) skin on my tummy remain wrinkly and a bit sag,anyway.. my second pregnancy started at 70 kg and by the end i was about 97.now,12 weeks on im 89 and nothing going down:-( im brestfeeding so cant diet yet,and not doing any sport or anything.im to be honest diguisted with myself,i cant watch myself in mirror,i feel sooooo ashamed when my husband is looking at me,i wish i can be slimmer.i now i will be,i do everything to loose that fat,just not yet.at the moment i just want to past that stage when im brestfeeding and to start losing. anyway,my body will NEVER be ok for bikini again,second pregnancy as you can see on the pictures did too much damage:-( i just hope to be able to wear decent clothes and look ok. just want to add thet i love that site,im adicted to it. /////// AGE-29 2 CHILDREN- 4 YEARS AND 12 WEEKS