Postpartum

Update (Marissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 0 Comment

Previous post here.

Update January 2022:
Since those early months postpartum, I have added another sweet kiddo to our family. My son is about to turn 3, and I am almost 1 year postpartum from my second. Not much has changed physically since my first – besides becoming more active. I am now 26! Here are some update photos. I’m not the same woman I was in my first post – I’m so glad. I have come to grow and release much of my harsh words to myself. Here are photos of my bodily changes between 5-10 months postpartum after my second. My advice is to accept this journey where you are – & know that you will continue to change inside and out. Wear the cute outfit, bathing suit, don’t give up on exercise if you loved it before, don’t consider yourself less worthy of good health. I started a workout program just because I love fitness. I found myself almost depriving myself because I knew it wouldn’t “fix my loose skin” but I realized… so? It helps me be a healthier happier person – shouldn’t I invest? So I did. Best wishes my friends.

40 and finally accepting (Ruth)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 1 Comment

Hi, I’m a 40 year old mother of three. My last pregnancy was my third and last Caesarean section 14 years ago. I had heavy babies, and at my heaviest (during pregnancy) I have weighed 210lbs. I now weigh 154lbs and wear a UK size 12. I have an overhang which I don’t think I’ll ever lose without surgery. I do Yoga daily and my body is very strong, but my skin is very loose! Everything else on my body escaped pretty much unscathed, except my tummy which I am still self conscious of, but less so than in my younger days.

If my pictures help any other mother to feel ‘normal’ (I mean, what’s that anyway??) then I’ll be happy. I spent too many years hating my body, despite the miracles it has performed.

Time to accept it and begin to love myself again.

Postpartum Poem (Molly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Poetry, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions 1 Comment

My name is Molly Lynch. I am 27 years old, I have a 4 month old son, and I have post partum depression. It hit me like a wave and I couldn’t believe how many women struggle with this, and dont speak their truth. I have written a poem to my son Theodore about my experience, and am hoping to share it with others so that their stories can be heard and shared.

My poem is called “the lonely island”

A lonely island, just him and me
His wails continue, just let me be.
I’m so tired, why doesnt he care?
He’s selfish, dependent, stripping me bare

Where is the bundle of joy I was promised?
My sanity and happiness constantly compromised
I sit and cry holding you tight
You grip my finger with all your might
I love you and hate you, so ashamed to say
The time ticks by slowly, day after day

This little blue pill, promises the world
To make everything better, to stop the unfurl
They call it post partum and promise it wont last
But it’s been 16 weeks, I just want my mind back
And slowly but surely, things look brighter
Hes waiting for me, because hes a fighter.
My bundle of joy, so loving and forgiving
Loves me unconditionally, relying on me to continue living

I’m sorry Theodore, but mommy is better
I’ve fought tooth and nail for you,
And so I give you this letter.
A promise that I will always be here, no matter the cost
I love you more than air, even when I’m lost.
I’ll fight this disease to be the mom you deserve
Because you are the light of my life, you’re love I preserve

So stop growing little one
Mommy loves you
You are my sun
I love you to the moon, and more than every star in the sky
Because you are my one and only, you are my special little guy.

Postpartum (Iceece)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 0 Comment

Age when I gave birth 21
This was my only pregnancy & I had to have a csection.
My son is 11 months old now

I went into labor on my own at 330am and was going in for a no epidural natural birth. Things quickly changed and I got the epidural only for the guy to mess it up and have to take it out to restart. The epidural didn’t even work and I was having back labor like no other. I was also bleeding but the nurses just thought it was from checking me. I made it all the way to a 9 before my cervix swelled shut. Later they found out the bleeding was from me bleeding internally, I had to be taken to have an emergency c section. Everything went good, and I got to meet my beautiful baby boy.

Two months later I had to be cut open again to have my gallbladder removed. I didn’t get to fully heal from my c section before the surgery so I had to heal from two surgery’s while caring for my newborn and my 3 year old step son who lives with us full time. (My husband traveled work at the time, so for most part I didn’t have help) My little boy refused a bottle and was breastfed so you could imagine the pain I was in trying to feed him. But he is definitely worth it all.

Images: purple bra black pants 3 weeks postpartum
C section scar with baby I was 1 month postpartum
White bra grey pants scars I was 2 months post baby and 4 days post gallbladder surgery
Nude breastfeeding baby I was 5 months postpartum
Character pajama bottoms with stomach tattoo is today 11 months postpartum

Some things change, others stay the same & that’s OK. (Marissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Body Image, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 0 Comment

C-Section Mama, Married 6years to my BFF

I was 23 when I got pregnant. Being a very short and active young adult, I’ve always been a wild one at heart. My favorite joy is dancing. I love to just turn the music on and have fun! That was me before pregnancy.

Now I’m 24. I’ve had my first baby. I’m 3 months postpartum and I still don’t feel like that girl again yet. Somehow she’s me – but somehow she’s somebody else. Anyone feel that way? I know many have, but I have never in my life struggled to feel myself. I’ve always felt confident in my own skin. Sometimes I felt too skinny or non-curvy but… when I had my son… I suddenly felt foreign. I feel my tummy and it’s foreign. I feel my boobs – they feel foreign.

It’s okay to sometimes feel like things are different. They are different. We can’t hold ourselves to the old us because all through life we will change and morph into new women. I realized that this must be what it feels like to look in the mirror at 60, or try to run or when your metabolism just wasn’t like it once was and now you eat one piece of pizza and blow up. It all hit me. Is this real life? It may sound so silly and vain but seriously some people simply haven’t gotten there yet. Instead of me feeling like I need to catch up with others or feel sad that I’m not the same and other women get to feel hot … I just need to give myself a firm swat on the buns and say “listen up lady – you are a boss babe, the woman you were is still there but she has grown, she is strong, she understands life in a new way, she went through tough labor, she stayed in the hospital 5 days, she woke up all night and she cried, she wanted to be her old self but she also wanted to snuggle her baby with all her love, she birthed a new life, she is a mother, she is loved, she is valued and she is special beyond belief. Don’t you dare discount that. You are learning big things, and your mind and experience have went through something many women have not had the privilege of, and the challenge of.” Life is an experience and a gift. May we always remember that motherhood is nitty gritty, deep and emotional but ever so rewarding and we mature in massive ways.

To be honest… I still don’t feel like me. In some ways it’s coming around but in some ways I feel as though some parts of me will always stay. I will always feel my stretch marks and go “whoaaa that’s intense”. I will also think “hehe omg it’s so soft and cuddly”!

Let us give ourselves time, relax, live healthy and stay strong. ? You can do it ladies. We are the mama family.

Update here!

Submission (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 3 Comments

Age: 26
# of pregnancies: 7 pregnancies, 5 live births.
Kids Ages: 8, 6, 4, 1.5, 4 months

My whole life I have been insecure about my body. I was emotionally abused as a child by one parent and the other parent basically turned the other way and told me to be quiet. This left me feeling unloved for many years. I felt unloved at home, not liked by peers because I had such low self esteem that I was awkward around other people. I wouldn’t look people in the eye, I had no social skills (we lived in the country with no neighbors) so going to school was so awkward and I was super self conscious about my body. I was always a bit chubbier than the rest of my peers, eating became my comfort since I had no one to really talk to and befriend. In high school I went about and thought having sex with a guy would get them to love me WRONG so wrong. I had many sexual encounters and never a serious relationship (partially my fault due to fear of intimacy) I so badly wanted an intimate relationship but wouldn’t open up. At 16 I met my first 5 kids dad. I got pregnant three times at age 17. The first two pregnancies I lost due to miscarriage. The third pregnancy I carried until I delivered my beautiful baby girl. I got pregnant again at 19 had my second daughter and again at 21 and had my first son. Needless to say their father like myself was immature and not ready for a real relationship or kids. He cheated many times, couldn’t hold a job and basically told me how lucky I was that he stuck around cause no one else would want me. He told his friends in front of me that I needed a boob job, tummy tuck, and butt implants many times….I was humiliated like that at least three times that I remember. Eventually I broke it off in 2016 at the age of 24 going on 25. An old high school crush contacted me shortly after and we began speaking.

We began dating in April 2016 and I found out I was pregnant in May. He asked me to marry him and I agreed. Once again I lacked judgement and before I knew it I was in a physically abusive and verbally abusive marriage. I had our son in January 2017. In August 2017 he confessed to cheating on me many times. I was and still am heartbroken. In September I found out I was pregnant yet again. I tried to make things work, talk about why what was lacking what I wasn’t providing but he refused and continued seeing one of his side chicks. I filed for divorce and we got divorced January 2018. I had our second son in May 2018. Although we have remained together on and off until presently. He has shown signs of maturing in some areas and takes anger management while I go to counseling. He promises he will never cheat again but I don’t believe it…just kind of waiting and trying my hardest so if he does again I will be able to walk away with my head held high knowing I tried and gave it my all. Anyways I thought my body was bad back in high school lol nah it’s so different now. I must have horrible genetics because I have stretch marks all over my tummy, my thighs, butt, arms. My tummy also has a horrible flap of fat and loose skin. The other night my ex was going through pictures I had sent him because he asked and stopped one and commented how it was not flattering because of “that”. He couldn’t even say my tummy but I knew what he meant. Anyways he is right it isn’t a pretty sight and I pray that if him and I don’t work someday I may find a man who can get past it. In the mean time I have 19 pounds to drop till I am at my goal weight and will try to bring my body fat percentage down and gain some lean muscle by eating correctly and working out. Wish me luck, I have come to some sort of terms with my body and I love my kids so I would do it all over again. Ps sorry that my photos are nude from the waist down I just used the pics I had sent my ex. I believe I was/am about 4 months postpartum in them. Sorry about the nudity.

All in due time – There is hope (Joss)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Depression and/or Mental Illness (Unrelated to Pregnancy), Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 3 Comments

Age: 27
Number of Pregnancies: 3

I had my first child when I was 18. Before her I had a beautiful body, that I was proud of. (Of course most 18 year olds do) After I had her I had NO idea what i was “supposed” to look like or what it was going to do to my body. I wish I had found this site back then. I was so depressed I refused to look at Victoria Secret catalogue’s or associate myself with anyone who could wear a bikini. I was beside myself because of how “messed up” my stomach was. Fast forward a year and I was still so upset about how I looked even though looking back NOW, my stomach looked fine. I swore and knew I was never going to show my stomach to the light of day or public ever again. I had two more children over the last 6 years, and of course my stomach has only gotten worse. (Saggier) I walked around with a heavy weight on my shoulders year after year, and became a single mom. I was depressed for so long. I always felt like no one would ever want me and I wasn’t good enough.

Between a major depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia, I started practicing meditation and exercising (which miraculously pulled me out of that state) I found a happiness with myself again. Which in turn had its affects. I have a much longer story but my main point of this post is to let all the beautiful mommies out there know that it’s ok to be in your skin. It took me 4 years after my last child born to accept my body. A big influence was pole dancing (I’m not saying that’s what you need to do, to feel better about yourself) But it was my outlet and helped me gain my confidence back. I found this site probably 6 years ago and I checked in on it over the years to hear other woman’s stories, to not feel alone. Today was the day I felt like it was appropriate to tell my story , since yesterday I wore a bikini at the pool for the first time in about 10 years. I was scared about the looks I’d get and it felt so uncomfortable, but I f****** did it! I didn’t care what anyone thought. I was a mommy, and I had my three babies with me and we were having fun in the sun. It was a liberating feeling! If people didn’t like it, they didn’t have to look at me.

I actually bought a top that shows my stomach a little bit. I’ll find somewhere to wear it. Lol
I woke up this morning and felt skinny and took a picture. In this picture I’ve had 3 children and my last is 4 years old. The skin on my stomach isn’t pretty or “tight” anymore, but I’m happy with my body, it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks. I wish anyone who reads this, a new found love for their mommy body. I hope to be an advocate for mothers who’s bodies are “different”. Sending positive vibes and love.

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