Mother of two miracles (Mikayla)

AGE: 20
NUMBER OF PREGNANCIES: 2
NUMBER OF BIRTHS: 2 both vaginal, 1 with no pain meds.

Wow, where to start. First of all I love this site. I feel like I am the only mother who got stretch marks or who is not in her pre pregnancy clothes a few months after birth. I hate that society expect that. I WAS 128 lbs pre pregnancy, and a size 6. Now I am 170 a size 12 or 14 at 5’6.

I got pregnant with my son Dec. 2006. I was a senior in high school and not at all ready to be a mom. I knew that I could do it. My boyfriend and I had been together three years already (since we were 15) and I knew it was a little soon, but we were going to be excellent parents. It was funny I thought I had the flu and after a few weeks realized hey you haven’t had a period for awhile. I took a pregnancy test one of my closest friends bought at work. When I came out of the bathroom laughing saying I was pregnant no one believed me. I went straight to my boyfriend’s house after work, he was asleep. I turned on the light and told him to look at the test. He was scared ,mad but he eventually came around and said, we were having a boy he just knew.

My grandmother died April 4, 2007 unexpectedly it was very hard, she was very special to me and we had a very close relationship, she was definitely routing for me, and always believed in me. I know she never got to meet my lil man, but in a way I believe she did

I graduated high school June 7, 2007 with a honors diploma, and at about 7 ½ months pregnant – barely showing. Life was going good and baby Noah was growing perfectly inside me. I had the epitome of perfect pregnancy.

I thought I was having contractions on July 25, 2007. I went to the Dr. who sent me to the hospital because I was contracting regularly and was 2 centimeters dilated. They gave me a shot at the hospital and some antibiotics in case I did deliver. The contractions stopped and I stayed the night to be monitored. I went home the next afternoon, with some pills to take 3 times a day till I was full term.

They didn’t work I was back at the hospital at 10 p.m. I was far enough along to just let it take its course. I gave birth to Noah at 35 weeks and 1 day. He didn’t need any help breathing. He was 6 lbs. 4 oz and perfect. It was amazing. I felt so happy and so blessed. The next day the Dr.s told me they thought he had hydrocephalus (meaning water head literally) and needed to run some test. Noah had a cyst develop causing the spinal fluid to build up in his head making it larger and larger. They sent us to a bigger hospital 2 hrs away. Noah got surgery at 4 days old. They placed a shunt on his left side of his head right behind his ear. His cyst drained and we spent 2 weeks up there getting him to eat properly. With a premature baby especially one who undergoes surgery that can be a battle. But, he caught on and on the day we left the hospital he weigh a whopping 5 lb 9 oz.

I started college online in Sept. through my local community college. I have always wanted to be a nurse and that is what I am working toward. I am currently still in school and almost ready to apply to the program yay!

Everything was going smooth and life was good till Dec. 8, 2007when my sister at age 27 passed away very tragically. It is and was the most horrible experience of my life. It is has been 1 ½ and it is still hard. I cry at least 2x a week. But, some days are better than others.

On Dec 21, 2007 I found out I was pregnant again, my son was only 4 months. I was scared, but my boyfriend had a good job, I figured I could take a year off school and we would be okay. I did know I better say bye to my body though. With Noah my body looked good, almost went right back down to same size. But, I would never let my fears of losing my body keep me from bringing life into this world. It was much sooner than expected; my due date was my grandmother who passed birthday August 23, 2008. Crazy huh?

My pregnancy went by so fast probably because I was so busy with my baby boy. At the end of June my mom took me, Noah and my nephew to Arizona. We had a blast, lounging by the pool and just getting away. My boyfriend just stayed behind and watched the house and dogs.

When we got home I was really sick, I think from the plane I caught a cold. Right when I was getting over it about 6 days after we returned home, I knew I was going into labor, 2 months early. My mom took me to the hospital so my boyfriend could take care of Noah till we knew what was going on. They said I was 3 cm dilated. They gave me steroids, hooked my up to a monitor, gave me a shot to stop the contractions which didn’t work the way it did with Noah. They were still coming.

When I was checked at 12 p.m I was not dilating anymore and the contractions got lighter. I tried to sleep, visited with my mom, boyfriend and son. They decided to head home for the night around 6pm. They figured I had a couple of days.

At 7pm when a new nurse came in I told her how uncomfortable I was and I couldn’t possibly feel like this for days. She checked me and said I was 9 cm and my water was about to break.

I replied, “so should I call my boyfriend and mom?”

Lol my mom and boyfriend made the 20 min. drive in about 10. The doctor broke my water about 7:30 and I got to 10 cm by 8pm. I pushed for about 2 hrs and my daughter Gracelynne was born at 4lbs 14oz. She was very healthy but due to her prematurity at 32 weeks gestation she spent 8 days in the nicu needing to learn how to eat.

So that is basically everything haha. But, now I struggle with all the weight gain after the two back to back pregnancies. It took a toll on my body, sometimes I cry when I look in the mirror. Then I feel so guilty for caring what my body looks like when it gave me my two beautiful children. I am slowly losing weight. I cut out regular pop, and trying to only drink 1 diet a day…the stretch marks are fading and someday I hope to smile when I see my body, but for now I take it 1 day at a time.

1st picture is me about 9 months pregnant with my son, 2nd photoe my beautiful bay boy right before his 1st surgery 3rd photo is my big ol belly with my daughter, I was about 8 1/2 months there. 4th is my little girl. 5th and 6th are my body currently and the last one are my miracles now :)

So it doesn’t really matter after All (Deineria)

First, I love this site. I think it provides immeasurable comfort to moms from all walks of life, and I also feel it is a reality check for those who initially believe what they see in magazines represents a fair picture of most women.

I had my first son when I was 19. I was a size 8, 34D bra size then, and I weighed about 155 lbs. I delivered him at 38 weeks vaginally, and I weighed 205 lbs at that point. I wore a 40DDD bra when I first started breastfeeding (though that did settle into a 38DD as time went on). I weighed around 165lbs and wore a size 8/10 for the first year or so, and overall, I felt pretty “frumpy,” but honestly, it did not bother me much. I breastfed him until he was 22 months old!

I did not really mind the weight because I did not start out what most people consider thin, and my size just was not on my mind. I was married and outside of that, I did not consider my appearance.

When my son was 16 months old, my then husband and I separated and filed for a divorce, and suddenly, my appearance mattered once again – and it mattered a GREAT DEAL, and I essentially cut my eating in half, and I went down to 135lbs. At nearly 5’9”, this put me in a size 2/4. I admit, I was pleased with how I looked more so at 21 through about 23 than I had ever been as a teenager. My family is pretty vain in general, and the weigh loss brought it out in a big way in me. I was so happy to be thin, the fact I went from a 36D bra to a 34B bra was wonderful as well.

I met the man I married in the winter of 2004, and eventually, a complacency set in, and gradually, the weight crept back up, but honestly, he did not and does not mind, and I realized that the fight with food just was not worth it. By the time we married in 2006, I was in a size 6-8 and weighed about 155 lbs.

After the heartbreaking loss of my three younger siblings in a fire, any concern about weight and appearance drained totally out of me, and I went up to about 170lbs. Then, in March of 2008, I became pregnant with my second son after a miscarriage only the month before, and in October of 2008, weighing 200 lbs at 33 weeks, I had an Emergency C-section following multiple hospital stays for severe pre-eclampsia. Blood flow to the baby was severely compromised, and when they got him out, he was in the last 24 hours babies usually have of life upon blood flow being cut that strictly, but after 2 weeks in the NICU, he came home and has done so well! I pumped for quite sometime to keep milk for his IV, and then breastfed him until my milk supply went away with this current pregnancy when he was 9 months old.

My weight stayed around 168-170, wearing a size 10, thanks to breastfeeding until I found out I was pregnant in May of 2009. This will be my third BOY, and at 22 weeks, I now weigh 187lbs. My dad died in June this year, right after I found out I was pregnant, and soon after, I was diagnosed with a very enlarged aortic root valve which may dissect during pregnancy and needs replaced following pregnancy, at any rate. My blood pressure problem makes this condition worse, and I am considered about as high risk as a one can be, and the doctors have told me this has to be my last baby.

I suppose worries about the health of this baby, which will almost certainly be quite early, and how the pregnancy will effect my heart, all adds to the larger weight gain this time, but when you realize this is your last child, like it or not, weight gain as a result of a pregnancy is so trivial.

I do not think of pregnancy as something that breaks down the body, makes a woman incapable of even upholding the “ideal” body women as “supposed” to present because in my experience, life events outside of child birth, both good and tragic, led to my body changing and the insignificance of my weight, though I am aware of the changes and all, is amplified with it all.

Do not get me wrong, my weight bothers someone, actually quite a few people – even my 8 year old son and 5 year old sister make comments, as do my grandmother and mother, but I think the healthiest mindset is one that just shrugs it off as the minor thing that it is.

I am aware that I do not get attention from the opposite sex like I did at 135-140lbs, but at this point in my life, it just does not matter, and whether I have to look a bit longer for jeans and shirts that suit me is not something on my “worry” list. I would not say I am nearly as confident in my body and image at this size, overall, but I am confident as a person in ways beyond that.

I am 14 year vegetarian, so I obviously want to be healthy, but I think I can be okay at 170lbs, if that is what I weigh without having to worry over what I am eating.

Yes, I got stretch marks, varicose veins, floppy boobs (mainly because mine become SO very huge) and with effort on my part, it all looked pretty dang good while I worked to maintain it – – – it is just that the life I have been dealt in general has made all of the time put into that seem a bit wasted and the “end result” seems rather unimportant now, and maybe that is the better perspective in the first place. I love my boys, love eating things I enjoy and my husband really does not mind if I squish here and there. :)

Missing my darling daughter, 15.5 weeks postpartum (Jillyn)

I have been meaning to take pictures and post on here for quite a while now, but with so much going on, i just haven’t found the inner strength or time.

When i was 20 weeks pregnant with our first child we had our first ultrasound and they found that i didn’t have any amniotic fluid. So a week later i finally had another ultrasound and the specialist fount that our baby had cysts in both their kidneys. He then told us our baby would not live. My husband and i were both devastated, but we decided to continue with the pregnancy and cherish every moment we had left with our child.

When i was about 28.5 weeks pregnant i ended up going to the ER for sever pain in my back. It turned out my kidney was inflamed and my growing uterus was causing it. They told me the only way to solve the problem would be to have our baby. The next day was my husbands college graduation and 2 days after that we were moving so we didn’t induce right away. After we were moved we set up an induction date for 2 weeks later because our 2 year wedding anniversary was going to be a week after we had moved.

They started the induction May 25th 2009 at 8pm when i was 32 weeks pregnant. On May 27th, 2009 at 5:17pm we gave birth to our daughter, Grace Carpi. She was so tiny, so perfect and angelic. The had been a frank breech so her little bum was all bruised, but other than that, she was just amazing. She weighed 2 lbs 14 oz and was 16 inches long. After she was born she tried to take a breath, she tried 6-8 times in the 10 minutes after she was born. But sadly, her lungs were not developed at all, so 10-15 minutes after she was born, she slipped away from us. She never let out a cry, never opened her eyes. The doctor has tried to tell us that she was a stillbirth, but after talking to other professionals and reading medical journals, we feel that our daughter indeed was alive and we will continue to fight for our right of a birth certificate.

I am 5’5″ and was 178 lbs before i was pregnant. I weighed 210-215 at the end of my pregnancy and now, 15.5 weeks postpartum i weigh 204-207 lbs. Because of my depression i feel it will take me a while go get down to my pre-pregnancy weight and even longer to get to my healthy weight (about 130-140 lbs). I got my first stretch mark at either 7w or 11w (i can’t remember) on my inner thigh. I got the ones on my stomach when i was 25 weeks pregnant. I also got more stretch marks on my hips and on my breasts. I went up a cup size during pregnancy, from a B to a C.

The last 15 and 1/2 weeks have been quite an emotional time for my husband and i. Not only did he just graduate from college, we moved, had our wedding adversary, gave birth to our daughter, buried our daughter, had my 22nd birthday, my husband left for orientation for a new job, we had a memorial for our daughter, went to talk to a panel of people at the hospital about receiving a birth certificate, and my husband left for 4 weeks of training for work. And during all of that we were and are still grieving the loss of our little girl. Some say we shouldn’t be a sad because we knew that she was going to die, but that doesn’t matter to us. We still lost our daughter, she still is not with us and we will miss her forever.

I am posting pictures of me before my pregnancy, at 28w 3d, at 32w (with Henna Tattoo from blessing way), pictures of Grace, and then pictures of me 15.5w postpartum and a picture of my first and worst stretch mark on my leg.

Updated here.

I Thought I Would be Hideous (Alesia)

as many of the stories i read on here during my pregnancy have said, i thought i was going to look hideous, i of course to was worried about the streach marks, saggy skin, disformed belly button, and all the other things you hear that come along with being a mother, i was terrified. and of course i, just like everyone else, was very body conscience before getting pregnant. but after going through a horrible ordeal,of being pre eclaptic, a 102 temp, b/p of 118/100, an irregular heart beat, fluid in my lungs, one collapsing, and being airlifted to a totally different hospital than my baby to be put in ICU and not even getting to see my son his first 5 days of life, i look at my body and its not all that bad. i gained somewhere close to 50 pounds during my pregnancy the last 20 i gained in the 3 weeks before i had my baby. i am back down to my pre pregnancy weithg of 135, granted i did get streatch marks the night before the morning i went in to labor.or atleast thats when i noticed them. they did end up on the top of my thighs as well, from me being pumped full of so much fluid during labor.( i didnt even lose any wight after birth, i actually gained 2 pounds after being in labor for 13 hrs), granted my belly button isnt disformed but it does look different since i had my baby, and though there isnt saggy skin per say, it is squisher than it once was, and i have one of those brown lines that might not go away. it could be much worse, i could not have my son at all, either way… we all age, and the skin we have today, will go away eventually and be nothing more than a memory
postpartum: 7 weeks
first pic: the day i found out i was pregnant
next: my tummy while pregnant, at 35 weeks
other 3, me today, the last one showing my wonderful c-section scar

Two Blessings (Jess)

Age: 24
Pregnancies: 1
Children: 2

I was told round 20 years old that I would not be able to have children. Then at 23 I had some further complications and the Dr’s did a surgery to remove massive growths on my ovaries and told me it was a long shot, but if I wanted to try and have children now was the time. Within two months I was pregnant. I went in at 8 weeks with heavy bleeding and tissue… I thought I had miscarried, they did an immediate ultrasound and said “There is heartbeat A, and there is heartbeat B…” My husbands mouth dropped and I just laughed. Come to find out I had had a miscarriage (I was preggo with triplets) but still had two healthy heartbeats! We were ecstatic! The first 20 weeks my pregnancy were great, I was working out, had only gained about 16lbs and really looked good (so I thought) then I went in and my world changed… I was diagnosed with an incompetant cervix and was told I was funnelled out to about 2mm of cervix left… I was put on strict bedrest. Needless to say week after week I kept trucking along. At 28 weeks they told me 2 weeks longer of pregnancy would be a miracle… at 30 weeks I was thinned to .7mm and dialted to 2 cm… still pregnant and still had two healthy babies! At 35 weeks I went into preterm labor and was dialted to 5cm and completely thinned out, but my contractions stopped and I was sent home… at 37 weeks I had no change… I had now gained 70lbs and had more water retention than most had ever seen in the hospital (so they say) Finally at 38 weeks and one day they started me on pitocin and after 5 hours only dilating to a 7 they broke my water and gave me my epi and 11 hours I pushed out our little girl and 52 minutes later I pushed out our boy… they were a healthy 6lbs each! We were told we would never have children and now have two beautiful babies… now back to me!

I had a really hard time gaining weight, I was 140lbs prepregnancy, but with only 18% body fat, I have always been active and have worked out my whole life and try hard to stay at a healthy size 6… I gained 70lbs and had bad bleeding for 3 months after my pregnancy… I only lost 40lbs the first 4.5months post pregnancy… finally I was given the okay to start working out again, I was no longer in my size 6’s but more in a size 11/12… I have been working out for 2.5 months and have lost an additional 15lbs… I still have 15 to go, but I am feeling better about my body and my progress. Our babies are healthy and happy and everytime I get down on myself about how awful I look, I just look at their beautiful smiles and tell myself that it’s a miracle I was able to bring them to this earth and that my body will one day be acceptable… my husband loves me more than before and still finds me sexy (he tells me this often!) Thank you for this site, I feel so lucky to share my experience and feel a little better about being a woman…

The first picture is pre-pregnancy at 138lbs
The second picture is me a day before delivering
The third-fifth are my 7 months PP pictures at 160lbs
and the final are my gorgeous babies

24 Year Old Mother of a Miracle – One Months PP (Carolyne)

My whole life I have worked out and been active in sports. I played softball in college and after graduating I continued my 5 day a week work outs. Due to a heart condition and severe high blood pressure, I was told I would never be able to have children. Because of the stress the hypertension put on my body, I tried to take care of it as best I could by exercising and eating healthy. In August, 2008… on our one year anniversary.. my husband and I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked – especially after being told it would never happen. Giddy with joy, we went to our first appointment where my OB told me not to get too attached.. as the pregnancy likely wouldn’t last. I tried ignoring the baby growing inside of me… still working out 5 days a week… but after three months and seeing my body change, I knew I could no longer pretend my little baby wasn’t happily growing inside of me. Six months later, on April 19, 2009, we welcomed our little girl – our miracle – into the world after 31 hours of active labor and 4 hours of pushing. What a stubborn child!

Throughout my pregnancy I still exercised 5 days a week with light weights – though not as intense as pre-pregnancy (Dr. said this was fine and wouldn’t jeopardize my baby) – and ate healthy. There were times when I wanted so badly to eat a whole cake… a bag of chips… icecream… fast food… french fries. I knew I needed to stay healthy for myself and my baby and fought so hard to stay away from all the things I craved. It was horrible. I craved all things salty… but because of my blood pressure I couldn’t have salt. Sometimes, amidst all my raging hormones, I would cry because I wanted McDonald’s french fries so bad!!!

In the long run, staying active and healthy helped me. The exercise gave me the energy and stamina to be in active labor for 31 hours and gave me the endurance to push for 4 hours (her head wouldn’t come down!). Eating the right foods helped me to keep my weight gain at a reasonable amount and avoiding the salty foods I really wanted helped keep my blood pressure in check so that I could carry my baby to term. I felt great after delivering and was on my feet walking all over the place just a couple hours later.

The pictures I’ve included are of me at 38 weeks (delivered at 39), one day postpartum and me at one month postpartum. Looking at my belly it looks back to normal with the exception of my lingering linea nigra…. but the belly is definitely not the same which is to be expected. The skin is very loose but will tighten in time. I am very thankful for the miracle that was given to me and for the fact that I was able to carry her against all odds. For any ladies reading this that have health problems and are told they will not be able to have/carry children, I’m proof that you can! Stay healthy and strong and you’ll be in the best place for an event free pregnancy and a speedy recovery. To all the women who have posted on this site, you all gave me courage… made me proud of what my body was doing and the changes that would come. I looked at all of your posts as inspiration and something to hope for when I wasn’t very far along in my pregnancy. Thank you for being strong enough to post on here and for being proud of the journey your bodies took!

Pictures: 38 weeks, one month post partum, and one day postpartum.

Age: 24
Pregnancies: 1
Postpartum: one month

Updated here.

3 1/2 Years Postpartum with Second Baby (Monique)

name: monique
Age:24, had first baby at 16 and second at 20
Children: 2 little girls 6 and 3 almost 3 and a half years post parterm

First off i found this site along time ago but didnt ever think i would get the guts to send anything. but i now love my body just the way it is.

I got pregnant at 16 with my first daughter who is now 6 and amazing i had her at 17 after a really short pregnancy she was born at 33 weeks and weighed only 5 lbs but looking at her now you would never guess the bean pole was ever a preemie. i was a size 3 when i got pregnant with her and after words shrunk to a zero from breast feeding i was fortunate with her to get only one stretch mark that wasn’t even noticeable. i got pregnant at 20 with my second daughter and had a horrible pregnancy plagued with kidney problems and other health problem i was in the icu for almost a month while pregnant and they thought they would have to deliver her at 26 weeks via c section but i wouldn’t allow that. i ballooned while pregnant with her gaining 75 lbs on my very little body i did carry her to term as a matter of fact two weeks later then term but i wasn’t so lucky on losing the weight that time i lost only like 30 lbs and my husband did nothing but criticize my weight and all the stretch marks i got. but 3 years late im done all the pregnancy weight and now im at what i weighed when i got pregnant with my first daughter. granet i lost all the weight because i was going through a divorce but i am now in a healthy relationship and my boyfriend loves my body extra skin and stretch marks and all he tells me i should be proud of them because i have two beautiful and healthy daughters and i am proud. i hope to have more kids someday and even if i get more stretch marks i will still love my body no matter what. thank you for this site it helped a lot in accepting me the way i am.

Thankful and Blessed but Still Trying to Accept (mummyoftwodarlings)

Ok, so I have been visiting this site for over a year now in the hope of it helping me accept and love my post baby body.

I am 30 years old, mother of 2 beautiful children. A daughter aged 3 and a son aged 16 months.

I married my first love in 2004 at around 147 lbs (I am 5ft 6.5). We decided pretty much straight after to start trying for a baby and after 6 months of hoping and praying every month, I finally got that positive result…..and then another…and so on until I’d worked my way through about 20 of the things and finally convinced myself that this was real and I was pregnant!

I had no problems until I reached 30 weeks. I was at work, about to lead a training day for about 20 teachers and I popped to the toilet first. That is when I noticed a few drops of blood. Panic stricken, I was rushed to the nearest hospital. To cut a long story short my darling daughter was delivered by emergency c section at 31 weeks exactly, as I was suffering a major placental abruption and she could have died if she stayed inside me any longer. She weighed 3lbs 7oz and stayed in Special Care Baby Unit for 6 weeks but is now thank God happy, healthy and very entertaining!

As I never got that big by 31 weeks my body pretty much went back to normal afterwards. A year later we decided to try for another, our last baby. I fell pregnant straight away but unfortunately miscarried at about 6 weeks. Fast forward another 6 weeks and I found myself staring at another positive test! Luckily the pregnancy went fairly smoothly and at 37 weeks my waters broke. I had to be induced though as nothing else was happening but despite that, I managed to deliver my son naturally. He has a few tummy problems after birth and stayed in hospital for a week in which time the problems righted themselves. After our daughter’s 6 week stay a week was bearable although I couldn’t wait to get him home!

During the last few weeks of my second pregnancy I developed a few stretch marks on my belly which to be honest I was gutted about. I religiously applied lotions and potions in the hope of avoiding them. I guess I was just that much bigger than first time around as I had carried my son for 6 weeks longer.

After the birth I weighed around 165 lbs, the most I had ever weighed. I lost the excess weight by about 5/6 months pp by joining a slimming group and going to the gym but then I gained about 14 lbs of that back over the next 10 months. I felt horrible about my stretched, saggy post baby belly and the excess weight wasn’t helping either so I rejoined the slimming group and restarted the exercise and here I am, 4 lbs away from my goal weight of 140 lbs and clothed I feel great but when I look at my belly I feel so disappointed.

I wouldn’t change having my children for any model’s body, and having to experience both my babies fight in hospital has made me so thankful for what I have. I am slowly learning to accept my new body and realise that the old one is gone for good. I am never going to look like my baby-less friends but I have something far more precious than their flab free, stretch mark free tummies!

The photos are:
29 weeks pregnant with #1 (2 weeks before she arrived)
36 weeks pregnant with #2 with stretchmarks (a few days before he arrived)
2 Today at 16 months pp with the baby belly I am still trying to accept

Mom to Twin Boys (Anonymous)

I’m so glad to have found this site. I have five month old beautiful twin boys. I had a very hard time with the pregnancy, and developed HELPP syndrome and delivered at 34 weeks, with a weight gain of 85 lbs! After suffering from post partum depression for the first three months, I finally sought the help I needed. I can’t tell you how much my life has changed. I feel under so much pressure from those around me to be back in my pre pregnancy clothes, but I’m still carrying 35 lbs.I am exercising and trying to eat right, which is really a part of who I was before pregnancy. It gives me great inspiration to hear others stories and struggles instead of focusing on the weight and stretch marks ect. Thanks!