Teen Mom

My New Self (Dee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 10 Comments

~Age: 17
~Number of Pregnancies and Births: 1
~Age of Child/Postpartum: Almost 6 months

I tried to make this short, but failed miserably. I saw this website when looking for something to help with my stretch marks. I think this site is absolutely wonderful and I am very excited to post.

If you’re a mom reading this, I just want to say congratulations on being a mom and congratulations on your “mom” body. Even though it may not be your ideal body, it was your baby’s ideal body and without that body you wouldn’t have them. Whose lives are completely ideal anyways? Certainly not mine.

How It Happened:

I met a guy my junior/senior year (I graduated a year early, so my junior and senior year were combined). I was a butch lesbian at the time and just broke up with a serious girlfriend for reasons I won’t get into. I really liked him and we became good friends. I was attracted to him so our friendship became friends-with-benefits. We did lots of drugs together and hung out every day. Both of us had just gotten out of serious relationships, though, and neither of us wanted to get into anything serious any time soon. Him and I became extremely unhealthy because of our drug use and decided we needed to stop.

In the beginning of March, my period was only a couple days late and I concluded it was from my recent drug use, but decided to go get a pregnancy test just to make sure. My friend and I didn’t use protection because I just assumed it wouldn’t happen to me and that teen pregnancy wasn’t as common as everyone says. I wanted a family eventually, but I wanted to live a party lifestyle for a while before I settled down. We saw the results together and both broke down crying. I took 3 more tests just to be sure. They were all positive. I knew I couldn’t bring myself to have an abortion or go through an adoption. I don’t have anything against women who do either of those options; I’ve just always known I wouldn’t be able to when the choice needed to be made. To me it wasn’t a choice. I couldn’t bear to think about killing my own child or being separated from them after spending 9 long months of pregnancy and going through a birth with them. Colton, my friend-with-benefits, then decided we needed to be dating and that he was going to stick by my side. At first I didn’t want him to date me just because he got me pregnant; I wanted him to date me because he wanted to date me, but I knew that I was luckier than some girls and accepted the offer.

My Teenage Girl’s Body:

I was never happy with that body, which now I wish I could have back. I had symmetrical, perky, small C-sized breasts. My butt could have used some work, but it was definitely “cute”. My stomach wasn’t completely flat, but it was in better condition that many other girls. I had a beautiful navel piercing that I absolutely loved. My legs weren’t half-bad. I used to be a dancer before I got more into drugs and all the strengthening ballet, jazz, tap, etc. gave me was something I took for granite. I stood at 5’ 2 ½” and weighed 110 pounds at the most. I had 2 tattoos; a playboy on my butt cheek and three iris flowers on my ribs. The iris tattoo was a cover up because I had gotten an unprofessional tattoo that I regretted for an ex-girlfriend. My skin had many flaws, though. I used to cut myself because of unmanaged anxiety, which left me with terrible scars all over my right arm, stomach, and thighs. When I was a cutter, I had to hide my body because I felt like it was nobody’s business and I was embarrassed. Eventually, though, I stopped caring. Some people would stare and those who weren’t familiar with cutters would ask what happened to me. I’d always tell them the truth; that I used to have some problems. I was no longer ashamed of those imperfections, although sometimes I’d imagine how much more wonderful my body would be if only I hadn’t destroyed it. They don’t bother me anymore, but I love when I can tell they’ve faded more and more over the years.

The Pregnancy:

I had a completely uncomplicated pregnancy, except for the fact that I had anemia, but I suffered from that before my pregnancy as well. I gained around 37 pounds. I rubbed cocoa butter all over my body at least 3 times a day every day for the entire duration of my pregnancy. I was extremely worried about stretch marks. By the end, I noticed one, maybe two stretch marks and I was so happy. I constantly checked and was fine with having just one or two.

The Birth:

The birth was uncomplicated, although at one point the doctors thought I needed a C-section because I wasn’t progressing as fast as they’d like and they thought my baby’s head may be too large to fit through. I had a vaginal birth with an epidural at age 17 after 23 long hours in labor. I was very afraid of tearing or needing an episiotomy, but neither happened. Holding my daughter was the most amazing moment of my life. My boyfriend and I cried tears of joy at this wonderful little blessing we brought into the world.

My New Life:

I had already stopped doing drugs by the time I’d found out I was pregnant, but it changed my whole perspective. Why would I even consider getting high if it could harm my baby? Well, I wouldn’t and didn’t. I went from being a don’t-give-a-shit, teenage, druggie, lesbian to an expecting mother with a guy by her side. Literally, my whole life was turned upside down. A baby was the very last thing I was expecting. Suddenly all of my goals changed. My whole outlook on life changed. Just everything changed. I have my own little family now, and even though things aren’t perfect, my boyfriend and daughter are both amazing. I am a mother now. It is my new identity. No longer am I a butch or a party girl, but a mom.

My Daughter:

I had a gorgeous 7 lb 8 oz, baby girl named Daisy the day after my due date. She is the love of my life. I never realized how much I could love someone. She is more important to me than anything in this world and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her. Throughout my entire pregnancy I worried that something would be wrong with her because of all the drugs my boyfriend and I did before (and possibly right after) I became pregnant, but she is completely healthy and I am so dumbfounded by how amazing she is. I’m so proud of all the things she can do and is continuing to learn to do. Having a child is by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know she’s here for a reason. I was heading down the wrong path and she has put me on the right track and added so much more joy to my life than I could have ever imagined.

My New Woman’s Body:

Before I was just a girl, but now my body has endured the true pains of womanhood and I feel like a woman now. After I gave birth the weight melted off. By the time I was 3-4 weeks postpartum I weighed in at 115 lbs, which I am still at and can’t seem to lose those 5 more pounds. I was glad I had lost almost all my pregnancy weight in just a couple weeks and so ecstatic that I hardly got stretch marks throughout my entire pregnancy, but no one told me that you can also get stretch marks from losing a lot of weight quickly. I soon noticed lots of little stretch marks all over my stomach and butt/hips. I am crier and I cried about it for a good while. I used more cocoa butter and bio oil, but neither showed noticeable improvement. I am now using Mederma Stretch Mark Therapy; in hopes that it will help them fade (I’ll let you know how it works). Since I’ve already dealt with scars for years, I know that it takes time for things like that to fade and that there isn’t just a magic cream that will make them disappear. My woman’s body has less muscle all over and a lot more chub in the midsection. My once sexy navel piercing is now droopy and old-looking. My thighs and calves have cellulite and no longer have the dancer-look they once did. And my breasts; oh, how I miss those perky, teenager breasts. My breasts now aren’t as perky or symmetrical. They are smaller than they were in middle school. I loved wearing low-cut shirts back in pre-pregnancy years, but now I feel so flat-chested it’s as if they don’t even exist.

The Conclusion:

Now, I could complain about my new body all day, but I simply don’t want to. It’s a complete waste of energy. My body is wonderful. I am so proud of my body for creating, carrying, and giving birth to my beautiful daughter. I know that many mothers have it way worse than I do and I should be grateful that my “mom” body isn’t so bad. I’m worried about summer coming up and having to wear a bathing suit. I think I still have the nerve to show off my body, but it definitely makes me uneasy. I have doubts about myself and I am very self-conscious after giving birth, but I should stop waiting for my old body to come back because I know that body is long gone. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I love my body for what it did and what it does every day, not how it looks. What’s so great, though, is that I can love how it looks, too. I also know that you will see improvement in your body, but only if you work at it and take care of it.

I just want to say to all the mothers out there that I never knew how under appreciated we are until I became one. Mothers are amazing people and I honestly don’t think the world would work without us.

And to all other teenage mothers- I know it sucks to see that none of your friends have mother’s bodies and their bodies seem so perfect and not ruined, but you have something that they don’t even know they’re missing: the joy of being a mother. They can’t even begin to understand how much love you have in your life, at least I didn’t before I became a mother. Those bangin’ little teenage bodies shrivel in comparison to the complete happiness my daughter gives me every single day.

Pictures:
1. 4 months pregnant; prom night
2. 6 1/2 months pregnant on vacation for my 17th birthday
3. 39 weeks pregnant
4. Pushing at the hospital
5. My baby, Daisy, at the hospital
6. Me and my little girl
8-10. Almost 6 months postpartum
11. My little Daisy at 5 1/2 months

Updated here.

Underneath it All (Heidi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 9 Comments

19 years old
1 pregnancy, 1 birth
3 1/2 months PP

In March of 2010, I met the man who would give me our beautiful son. I was the epitome of the typical (stereotyped) 18 year old, I stopped going to school to party all night and sleep all day. All I cared for was getting high, getting drunk, getting s*x. School wasn’t important, they told me I wasn’t going to graduate with my class (of ’10), so I gave up on going.

I got kicked out of my house a couple weeks after my 18th birthday (Feb. 26th), and spent a couple weeks bouncing from house to house until I met my fiancé. I moved in with him permanently, with a very strong intention to start a relationship.

Within about three weeks of us living together and being together, he asked if we could try to have a baby. I agreed wholeheartedly. I’m still not sure why, it just seemed like a good idea. Well, I was pregnant the next month. I had figured out my approximate window of time where I was ovulating, and two weeks later I missed my period (I was always regular). I took a pregnancy test and I was pregnant! We were so excited, but we were the only ones. Everyone likes to form their own opinions: “too young”, “too soon into the relationship”, etc. I didn’t care, I was extremely happy.

I was 134lbs before pregnancy. within the first four months, I had dropped to 114lbs because I suffered from hyperemesis gavidarum. I was not hospitalized for it. I was only able to drink Pepsi (I don’t know why), and I could barely keep any food down. I was vomiting maybe seven times a day at the most, mainly when I got up the courage to try to eat something. I was always tired, but I pushed myself to go to “work” (I babysat three children next door from around 5-6pm until 2-3am) because it was the only income we had at the time. Eventually, I got so weak that I just could not bear the thought of babysitting, and I called off working for her one day (She didn’t even have work, she just wanted to go tan at the beach), and she fired me.
I was exhausted, but I was so happy to be 114lbs. I’d always struggled with my weight and body image. Even at 125lbs, I thought I was fat. I got stretch marks when I was only 13 (I hit puberty at 11) and my chest size when from a B to a D in one summer. I was around 127lbs, and I was horrified. I’m only 5’2″, and I felt terribly chunky. I knew I was predispositioned to be curvy, but I was a stick before, so I honestly had no idea what “curvy” meant.

114lbs was the thinnest I’d been since I was around 12. I didn’t “hate” that I’d only achieved the weight b/c I was pregnant, but you can bet I wished I could be that weight afterwards!

I didn’t start showing until about the end of my 5th month, but I was still happy with my weight, my shape (I was all belly at the time), everything.

By the end of my pregnancy, I weighed around 157lbs. I started suffering from depression again (I was diagnosed with MDD-Major Depressive Disorder at age 14) when I hit 145lbs. After I gave birth, my weight only went down to 154lbs. My son was born a healthy 6 lbs, 13 oz, but I hadn’t even lost that much! I was so disappointed.

To top it off, I had a very hard birth. My epidural only worked partially (on my legs, they might as well have not been there for how much I could feel them), so I had horrible, painful back labor, my midwife would not let my fiancé or my Mum help me with holding my legs at my chest (I don’t know why). I got an episiotomy at the very end of my 18 hour labor (three hours pushing) and my beautiful baby boy was born three pushes later at 1:56pm on January 12th, 2011.

I decided to breastfeed early on, and I am proud to say I still am (despite a nasty case of mastitis 3wks PP). I went down to about 147lbs in two weeks, but I haven’t gone below 153lbs since the end of 1 month PP. I was told by many nurses and midwives that the baby weight just melts off when you breastfeed. This has not been true for me, but I’m not going to stop feeding my son breastmilk just because of the stubborn fat.
I absolutely hate to look in the mirror though. All I see is fat everywhere. My thighs touch almost down to my knees, my stomach is poochy, stretched marked and squishy. My boobs are alright, I’m used to them being huge and they didn’t really get many stretch marks, I already had some from puberty, but I’d never been terribly self-conscious of those.

I wear a size 15. I get upset a lot going clothes shopping (which I don’t really do) because most of the stores I like to shop at, I can’t find my size. I went to the mall with my fiancé for my 19th bday, and I cried because I could not find one pair of pants that fit. I couldn’t even find a bra, because at the time I had shot up to a DD. I still grab shirts that would fit my prepregnancy body when I’m shopping. Sometimes I laugh when I realize my mistake, and sometimes I get very sad. I have absolutely no will to exercise, it never helped me much before. I look back at the body I used to have and I wonder why I was so unhappy with it. I’d love to be a size 5 again. At one point, I fit into a 0, but that’s way too much to ask for lol.

My fiancé is very supportive. He thinks I look just fine. He supports me wanting to lose weight, but I get mad and accuse him of thinking I’m fat when he asks me if I want to exercise or if he suggests buying an array of chocolate bars is not a good idea (I’ve always been a chocoholic).

I don’t believe him when he says I look fine, I’m always putting myself down. Sometimes it gives me a spark of happiness when he says I look good. Because I want to believe that I do. I want to feel like I do. One of my younger sisters asked me how I’m going to fit in a wedding dress if I’m so fat. She also told me I still look pregnant.

I hope that sometime soon I feel good in clothes and out of them. My goal weight is 130lbs by my wedding date, November 12th of this year. I have to be careful about rapid weight loss while breastfeeding though. I hope I can do it.

1st picture: Me in May of ’09
2nd picture: 8 months pregnant
3rd picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
4th picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
5th picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
6th picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
7th picture: My son Ruskin Damian Dodge, 3 1/2mos
8th picture: My son again
9th picture: My beautiful family

Updated here.

I am Blessed with One (Cassandra)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

Pregnancies: 6 Births: 1
Age:19
Postpartum: 4 months and counting.

This is very hard for me to write. I had my first miscarriage at 15. I was 9 weeks pregnant, it was very hard, no one knew I was pregnant it had to be kept a secret. I had to mourn my loss on my own, from that day forth I’ve never felt so alone. After that, I lost 3 more children in the years to come also at 9 weeks. Doctors told me I’d never be able to hav a child. :(

They were very wrong. On June 9th 2010 I found out I was pregnant, terrified when the doctor told “you’re 9 weeks!” I quickly bursted into tears. But as days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months my confidence in the pregnancy was sky high. I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl on January 12, 2011. She weighed 8lbs 12oz and was 21inches long.

And still I was very depressed. I still am. On April 15, 2011 I discovered I was pregnant 7 weeks., and on April 25, 2011 I miscarried, at 8 weeks.

My body is in a shape its never been before. I’m embarassed of my body, I hide it under layers of clothing. Before I had my daughter I weighed 120 lbs, after I had my daughter my weight has increased to 182 lbs. But with the help of my sister Jennifer Harmon and my husband Kevin Mendoza, I’ve realized… My body IS beautiful. My body shows a story of the struggles I went through, the tears I’ve cried, the children I’ve lost, and the child I’ve gained. I have the shape of a mother! Although looking in the mirror sometimes disgusts me, I have the strength within myself to see that the form of my body, that everyone else might see as flaws, I see as perfection. I carried a child of 9 months and 1 week. I am no celebrity, I am CASSANDRA RAE LEIJA and I am The Shape Of A Mother.!

Beautifully Destroyed (Sia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Poetry, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 28 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

age 17
months pp 9

The other day I ran into a girl who I went to school with. She is a little younger than me and has always been kind of rude. She was telling me how she saw pictures of me before I had my daughter and how she COULD NOT believe that I was ever THAT skinny. She said I must hate my body and she went on to say that having my daughter DESTROYED me. I honestly was at a loss for words. I could not believe she was talking to me this way. I mean, I was actually starting to think I looked pretty good for having a nine month old baby. I looked the girl right in the face and I calmly told her that I would of gained 1000 more stretchmarks and 300 more pounds for my little princess, and I walked away. Her words really did get to me, and I have to admit I went home and cried to my boyfriend. I may not have the body I used to have, but that girl doesnt know what its like to fall asleep every night with the arms of the man that loves me wrapped around me tight. She has no idea the feeling that overcomes me when I peek into my daughters crib late at night just to see my beautiful baby girl sleeping so peacefully in a fuzzy sleeper with animals on the feet. So if people look at my body and think that I am destroyed, then I am BEAUTIFULLY destroyed. I have never been this happy in my life. My body never brought me happiness earlier in life, my daughter brings me the most joy and my body made her. I wouldnt change a thing for the world. Of course there are days where I look in the mirror and wish I was thinner, And I must say there is wayyyyy too much love in my love handles haha. My love handles are my biggest complaint, but hey I dont have too much to complain about. Im just loving life, loving my family, and most importantly learning to love myself.

I wanted to share a poem that I wrote about my daughter, kennedy, when she was only a few weeks old.

my beautiful baby girl sleeping so peacefully beside me
i lay my ear on your chest , listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat

i take your tiny hand as you wrap it around my finger tightly
bending dowm to kiss your cheek, i notice one eye opens slightly

only for a second, then you enter your dream world for the second time
i love you so much, its unbelievable something so heavenly is mine

for nine months i watched how my body changed and grew
the moment i saw that plus sign, i was overwhelmed by love for you

i felt every movement as your own body took shape
i felt my body expand, as yours began to gain weight

until you gained enough weight to be a beautiful healthy baby girl
the day you were born, i knew you were my world

your headful of hair and your dark eyes
the resemblence between us took me by surprise

you had the cutest little mouth and your chubby cheeks
all swaddled up, you looked so sweet

i remember the first time you looked up at me when you opened your big dark eyes
i smiled down at you as i, myself started to cry

a mother meeting her baby, the greatest feeling there is
now our new life as a family was to begin

I went a little picture crazy with this post haha, but all of the ones of me our me nine months pp. then the other pictures are of my little girl kennedy. and then of course the one of the both of us together.

Updated here.

Young and Blessed (Cara J.)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

I got pregnant at the age of 18 and I remember everything so vividly. It was November 29th (my birthday) and my bestfriend and I went to go get piercings. I already had the top of my belly pierced so I wanted to get something different and get the bottom done. I remember on the consent form it asked if I was pregnant and of course I said no because I just couldn’t be! So December comes and the week my period is supposed to come, it doesn’t. I call my boyfriend and tell him I think I’m pregnant so we go get tests and sure enough they come out positive! I was shocked, scared, and mad at the same time! But as time went on and I heard my little baby’s heartbeat I instantly fell in love with this life inside of me. I was due August 21st and it was fastly approaching. I had a wonderful and healthy pregnancy. In April I found out I was expecting a boy and was so excited because there were so many girls in my family and he would be the first boy. I was 8 months and had not one stretch mark. The next month is when they attacked and I was horrified of the sight! I never thought about what my belly would look like after the baby until I saw my first stretch mark. I was 4″11 and weighed about 120 before I got pregnant and had a nice flat tummy. Towards the end of my pregnancy I gained about 30 pounds and it was all belly. Some people even thought I was carrying twins! Anyways, my due date comes and goes. I was a week overdue when I got induced. I was probably in the hospital for a couple of hours when the contractions started coming back to back. Boy were they intense! All of sudden I felt a gush of fluid. I thought I went to the bathroom on myself so I got up to go to the bathroom. When I stood up I noticed the fluid was still gushing and when I looked down it was all blood! My boyfriend called for the nurse and when she came in and saw all the blood she instantly rushed out of the room. I was so scared because I didn’t know what was going on. I had planned on having a natural birth and going home right after, but it didn’t happen the way that I had hoped. A doctor that was on call that night came in to do an ultrasound and didn’t say anything for awhile. After a few minutes he tells the nurse that I have to have an emergency c-section due to a placental abruption! The doctor said if we didn’t hurry my son could die. I was so scared that I started to cry. My boyfriend was there the whole time and cried with me until it was time for them to roll me into the operating room. They gave me the meds and after about 10 minutes my healthy baby boy was born crying that cry that I loved so much. Carsen Lyle was born at exactly 4:00am weighing 7lbs 7oz. The crazy thing about that weight was that, that’s what I weighed when I was born! It wasn’t the birth I planned on, but all I knew is that I had my son in my arms. I was lucky considering I didn’t know how serious a placental abruption was until very recently. After all the drama at the hospital and when I got home is when I started noticing how ugly my stomach was. I didn’t dwell on it because I was thinking, Hey Im young, it’ll go back to the way it was. But I was dead wrong. I am so insecure about how pudgy my stomach is that I’m always wearing sweats and big t-shirts. I’ve been working out as much as I can with my little guy and school, but it seems like a slow process. Even when I feel insecurities arising in my mind my boyfriend looks in the mirror with me. We look at my stomach, my stretch marks, and my scar and he always tells me I have the most sexiest body he’s ever seen and would love me no matter what. He always makes me feel better and tells me that he should be the only one I’m trying to impress even though he loves my body more than I do. Even though I still look at my stomach in disgust sometimes, I look at my son and see how lucky I was to have this stomach. Not many people can look at their pudgy tummies and be thankful for it. I’m working on it day by day and I will eventually get there. Thanks for reading my story :)

Age: 19
Number of pregnancies: 1
Age of your children: 7 1/2 months

My Ever-Changing Body (Danelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

I’m currently 6 weeks postpartum I’m 28 years old and I’ve had a total of 4 c sections. My name is Danelle and my oldest girl is 10 years old I had her when I was 17 exactly one week before my 18th birthday. I went from 195 back to 150 in about 6 months. But I got pregnant again with my second girl she will be turning 9 in august I went from 175 back to 160 and then gained weight because of my junk food habit! But I started going to the gym and going on walks and dancing in my living room and then boom my son came along! He is now 4 years old and he’s a handful probably because he’s surrounded by women. My new baby girl came along when I was extremely overweight I am 5ft 1 and I weighed 200 pounds with this pregnancy I gained 10 pounds. I’m now 190 and I’m hoping I can keep the weight loss going I go back to work in 2 weeks and my job is very physically demanding. I have been walking everyday but I’ve had to take it extra easy. This time my recovery has been a lot harder because of our financail situation but I hang on to my faith. My body still isn’t back into shape but it usually takes me about 4 to 6 months to get myself up to speed. But this time I’ve quit smoking I’m making excercize a habit and I’m eating healthy and staying away from soda and fast food. I’m extremely self conscious about my belly. But its a part of me and it carried 4 beautiful children into this world. Belly or no belly thunder thighs or stick thighs I’m a beautiful woman regardless of what our society says I should be! I’m going to get myself healthy for myself and for my children so I can see my grandchildren grow up. No woman should be ashamed of the damage left by child birth we should wear them with pride. We brought a life into this world and survived and that combined with the neverending love we have for our children is priceless! I have included pics of my belly pics of my children and myself at 5 weeks post partum I like this site and what it stands for! Its wonderful to see a site that allows women to express their feelings and tell their stories and learn to love and accept their bodies

Forever Hiding Behind My Clothes (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 24 Comments

Pregnancies:1
Age: 19

Hello my name is Amanda I am ONE WEEK postpartum from having my beautiful daughter. I had a great pregnancy with no complications up untill I was due I went 4 days over my due date and then I had false
labor when I got to the hospital they checked my amniotic fluid levels and it was so low they said I had been leaking for a few days,they decided to induce me and I was in labor for 23 hours total! After all that time I stopped dilating at 4 centimeters and then the baby’s heartbeat kept dropping,so they decided to do an emergency c-section. Thankfully the baby was perfectly healthy and all was well.

At the start of my pregnancy I weighed 110 lbs and at the end I weighed 161 lbs. With the weight gain i got a MASSIVE amount of stretch marks what seems to be every place imaginable my stomach, hips, butt, boobs, thighs, even the back of my knees. They are so big and dark in color they make me so disgusted. I can’t even where shorts or dresses anymore because I am so insecure and embarrassed about the stretch marks… I’m only 19 and I feel like my body is destroyed and i never want my husband to see me naked again. I hope eventually I can come to terms with my body and start to take pride in my stretch marks.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to lighten stretch marks and tighten the loose skin on the stomach please I am willing to try anything.

Thank you all for reading my story.

How do you forgive yourself? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions, Teen Mom 26 Comments

2 pregnancies 1 birth
Age 6 boy
4 years postpartum
I am 24 years old

I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. More excited then ever, I told the father right away but knew deep down my parents would not be happy so I hid it from them. It wasn’t until one evening that my brother and I had gotten into a confrontation that I was forced to tell my parents. My mother took the news well but my father not so well, he disowned me at the age of 17. I graduated high-school and continued my education, had my son in October :) and he was the highlight of my life. soon after a few year later becoming pregnant again but at that point the father left me. I didn’t think I could do things on my own. Taking care of one child, managing school, and work was hard enough. Having another one I thought would only make it harder. Being a young single mother with no help except what I expected at the age of 20. So I had an terminated the pregnancy. And to this day I regret it. Before I got pregnant with either child I was about 100 lbs. With my son I gained 18 lbs and lost it all right away, with my second by the time I had the abortion I had already gained 15 lbs, and after I fell into post postpartum depression. I now weigh 135 lbs. I dont know if I will ever forgive myself for what I did, I know I was not financially stable but its hard.

I am just starting to like myself ever. (Alice)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo, Teen Mom 5 Comments

24 years old. 2 pregnancies 1 live birth 1 abortion
My daughter is 5 years old in 2 months. I am almost 5 years pp.

I got pregnant with my daughter a week before my 19th birthday. I was in love with a boy who was “out of my league” but it seemed he was interested in me. We were together for 8 months before we got pregnant. Before that I was constantly trying to keep his attention any way I knew how, but he would flirt and cheat and it made me hate myself and my body.

I am 4’11” and pre-pregnancy I weighed 130 pounds. It was the thinnest I had ever been and I was struggling to be skinny for my boyfriend after being overweight my entire life. I gained 55 pounds during my pregnancy and hated myself every minute for it. After I had my daughter I worked quickly to lose all the weight I had gained but my boyfriend turned husband left me for a 90 pound girl 3 years my junior. I hated myself even more. I then promised myself that I would lose all the weight plus some to show how beautiful I was. After 3 years I decided I was losing weight for the wrong reason and I needed to love myself before anyone else could love me. I changed my diet and lifestyle and I wanted to be healthy rather than skinny. When I started getting my confidence back and stopped looking for love in the wrong places I found my now fiance. He told me he loved me no matter what I looked like! Stretch marks and all! I am proud to say that I am down to a healthy (not starved) 107 pounds. We will be trying to have another baby after we are married and this time I will stay healthy and happy for my baby.

picture 1: 8 months pregnant
picture 2: 1 month pp
picture 3: 4 years pp
picture 4: 4.7 years pp still stretch marked but feeling better about me

Teen Mom (Jessica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

In January of 2010, I had just turned 18 and was just starting to feel really secure with my looks. I had started to loose weight and was very happy with the way things were going. Then I met a boy. One thing led to another and I got pregnant. Before my pregnancy, I weighed around 215 lbs. At the time of delivery, I weighed in at 270! This was very hard for me to handle… I had an all natural delivery and gave birth to a very handsome baby boy. I breastfed my baby for his first 4.5 months. After my milk dried up, my breasts looked so flat and saggy, not to mention nearly two sizes smaller… My body had changed so much, and I didn’t know how to take it. Now I am six months postpartum, and I have lost 20 pounds, but I still look pregnant! Oh and the stretch marks! They are EVERYWHERE. I just want to get back to my pre pregnancy body! I would feel better about myself than I do now!

And to all of you ladies who do share your stories and pictures, I very much appreciate it!