Submissions

15 Year Old Mother (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 27 Comments

I just wanted to start off by saying that I have a lot of respect for all of the women who have posted on here. All of you have made me realize that I shouldn’t be ashamed of my new motherly body, even if I’m the only 15 year old I know who has a saggy tummy and stretch marks. You’re all beautiful and you should be proud.

My story starts at the age of 14, I thought I was in love with the boy of my dreams and decided to lose my virginity to him. Being a teenager I thought I was invincible. I thought that pregnancy was something that happened to those teenagers who slept around a lot or who aren’t careful when it comes to protection. But I was wrong. Before I got pregnant I was only 115 pounds. By the end of my pregnancy I was 175 pounds and only 5′ 1″. I found out I was pregnant when I was already 20 weeks along. Half of my pregnancy went by and I had had no idea! In that same month I also found out I would be having a little girl and that I had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I used a diet controlled method, but it didn’t work. I ended up gaining a whopping 60 pounds by the end of my pregnancy. I have stretch marks on my boobs, stomach, sides, butt, and inner & outer thighs. Everyone had thoroughly convinced me that because I am so young I would not stretch and that I would lose the weight extremely fast. They were wrong.

I went for an ultrasound at 39 weeks and the told me that I would have to be induced the next week so as to prevent the baby from gaining a large amount of weight before I delivered. I was livid. I wanted an all natural, drug-free birth. And then my dreams of that were crushed. About a week later I went back for another ultrasound and they informed me that the baby had gained 3 pounds in just a week! She went from being 6 pounds to 9 pounds in just a week. They told me I would need a c-section because I was too small and the baby was too large. I was devastated. Not only did I not get my all natural birth, I didn’t get a vaginal birth at all. The doctor who told me this was very rude. She basically told me that it was all my fault that I had to have a c-section because I got pregnant at 14 and had an “oops baby”.

On September 3 I went to the hospital where they prepped me and gave me an epidural. My beautiful daughter was born 9 pounds 2 ounces, 20 and a half inches long. When I saw her for the first time I didn’t understand how I could have ever wanted to give her up for adoption. I am now 5 and a half months postpartum and have only lost 32 of my 60 pounds. I used to feel ugly and disgusting. But after finding this site and seeing that there are other women in my same position I have gained a lot more confidence. My daughter is 5 and a half months and is perfectly healthy and I couldn’t ask for a more perfect child.

~Age: 15
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 and a half months.

picture # 1: Me and my mom (pre-pregnancy)
picture # 2: Me at 40 weeks the night before my c-section.
picture # 3&4: stretch marks on my stomach and inner thigh.
picture # 5: my c-section scar.
picture # 6&7: My beautiful baby girl.

Updated here.

I Like Myself (Rosie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 9 Comments

I see a ton of ladies hating on their post-baby bodies, and some very genetically blessed ladies who are rockin’ it.

I’m right here in the middle. I gained some weight, and I lost it. I started my pregnancy around 170 lbs. I struggled with hyperemesis in my first trimester and dropped to 145 lbs. By delivery day I weighed 191 lbs. At six weeks postpartum I’m weighing 167 lbs. I’m hitting the gym. My belly is so textured with stretch marks that it reminds me of a trapper keeper I had in middle school.

I still have some weight to lose, and I don’t know when those stretch marks will fade.

My unmedicated water birth showed me how strong and capable I am.

Breastfeeding and the patience it requires is my new yoga.
I love myself, and I love my body.

And you should too.

You made a baby. That is pretty amazing.

If you’re not happy with your body, please try to remember all that you did. Nourish yourself well. Put your baby in a carrier and dance in the living room or in the stroller and walk until youfeel the burn. Leave baby with a sitter and take a class that sounds fun or take a mommy and me class. Do something active a few times a week.

Don’t make excuses. Take care of your body and love yourself. Flaunt your self esteem. It’s a great example to your children.

~Age: 25
~Number of pregnancies and births: Two pregnancies. One very empowering, unmedicated, water birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: I am a mother of one amazing daughter. I am almost six weeks postpartum.

Believing My Husband’s Words (Nikki)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Submissions 22 Comments

Age: 24
7 pregnancies, 2 births
Children age: 4 yrs & 15 months

I enjoy coming to Bonnie’s website because I know, if anything, it gives women a place to be open and honest with themselves. Whether or not a woman takes anything constructive from it is individual. I have seen bodies of women who I think shouldn’t complain and bodies of women who could have every reason to. In all, this site will either make you appreciate what you have or loathe it. But day after day, I come and read the very similar posts of my fellow mothers and begin to think: “Why do we put so much weight into our looks?” I haven’t seen any websites for men to discuss their calloused hands, beer gut and flat butt. My husband has more stretch marks (due to steroids for a condition) and ACTUAL skin problems (eczema, psoriasis) than I do, but he doesn’t think himself ugly or unfit for intimacy. If I can love him for who he is and his looks, and I’m pretty sure you ladies feel the same way about your SO, then why of all whys do we question whether our men still find us attractive? Our men aren’t any beauty queens or underwear models themselves, but we put ourselves thru all kinds of mental and physical hell to be something we think our men desire. When on the flip side, they aren’t worried about doing it for us.

For example, I was watching Dr. Oz and he had some overweight women who felt insecure of their bodies and wanted help. Well right beside them was their overweight husbands. Why do they have to take on the unattractive burden when their husbands are no more attractive or in any better physical condition? But if you asked those same women how they felt about their husband, they’d say they love them unconditionally and looks didn’t matter. Unless they’re lying to make them feel good, why can’t men say what will make us feel good? Sounds unfair and one-sided don’t you think? But it’s possible for a man to actually consider our worth in terms of personality and inner beauty than looks alone. If men aren’t stressin’, neither should we. And we bring something even better to the table: our beauty is amplified by bringing life into this world. A man’s beauty is amplified by the type of father he is to those children. Ladies, if we are stressing about our looks for a man we think will leave us because of our looks, he wasn’t worth keeping around anyway. He’d be considered shallow and not worth your love. But if we keep compounding our self loathing onto them, it will turn them off to us. They want a confident woman regardless of what society deems her body. Because frankly, men get tired of hearing us complain or worse, refusing them intimacy. We’re not some damn peacock strutting around. Our brains are too complex to live our lives focused on the quality of our feathers. There are people needing love and attention inside and outside our homes, so we need to take stock on the abilities and capabilities of ourselves. We take on spouses for the comfort and security of being ourselves and walking together on a path to greater things. There shouldn’t be any room for shame.

Couples should support and encourage physical fitness and better eating for the sake of being healthier so you all can grow old together and see your grandkids, not so you can look like Gisele and he Tom Brady. They’re not that cute anyway, lol. While I would hope this message reaches someone, if anything I want it to make women think. And remember, if he says you look hot, beautiful, sexy, or bangin’ BELIEVE HIM.

The Perfect Food, Not Quite the Perfect Packaging (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breastfeeding, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 30
# of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 births
Ages of children: 3 and 9 months

When my first daughter was born she showed a clear preference for my right breast to nurse from. When she began biting ‘lefty’ terribly to the point of bleeding I decided to nurse her exclusively from my right breast. I did consult with Dr. Newman first and he recommended it. So began her near 3 year career of nursing from one breast, til the day she weaned on New Years Eve 2010 of her own accord. She nursed through my entire second pregnancy and well after my second daughter was born. After my next little lady was born, the same thing happened. A clear preference for my right breast and a severe distaste for poor ‘lefty’. I decided to pull my left breast off the menu and now my second darling daughter only nurses from the one side.

Because of this I am very lopsided. “Righty” is a D cup, full, covered in stretch marks, veiny with a lovely pink nipple, always ready to fill a tiny tummy with milky goodness. “Lefty” is a small B cup, soft, even toned skin and near empty. It sure tries to keep up with the non-demand for milk though.

I do rely on the thoughts that someday they will soon resemble each other again. Also, I’m proud that even though I’ve had strange difficulties with my picky babies and their preferences, I’ve still been able to nurse them well and as long as they’d like. I’m not ready to allow them to go back to being a source of womanly sexiness between my husband and I, but that will come someday and like a good man he respects that entirely.

We’re all done having babies, so I know I’ll look rockin’ in a bathing suit again within the next few years. Fingers crossed!

5 Weeks PP, Almost There – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Complications During or After Birth, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, NICU, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Previous entry here.

Ahhh where can I begin? Its been 16 weeks since I welcomed my beautiful baby boy into the world. I feel very happy about the place I’m at. So far since my last update I lost more weight and I’m back into my pre pregnancy jeans once again. My tummy is completely flat and I’m starting to get my abs defination back. My breast went down so I’m back to pre pregnancy. I still feel empty at times like I failed my baby. In the first update I forgot to mention that my son was born at 28 weeks weighing two pounds two ounces. I was hurt and very embrassed. I feel sad and angry that women who are heavy pregnant complain about the marks and the weight. I would have been happy to have a mommy tummy atleast I would have known that I wouldn’t have failed my baby. I pray everyday and ask god to show mercy on my son and he has. I never realize how stupid and selfish I was by not enjoying every minute that my son was inside of me. I didn’t have a tradition babyshower with a big belly I didn’t have a happy birth where I left the hospital with my son in my hands I had to see my baby have blood transfusions and Iv lines all through his arms and feet. I had to wait six weeks just to hold my son for the first time. I had to get a phone call from my sons doctor saying that my son has stop breathing and they had to bag him. Its so many things that I didn’t do or get to do that I’m most hurt about. I didn’t get a chance to even see my son when he was born or even get to touch him. Im still very emotional about the whole ordeal and I’m in tears as I write this. I had to wait three months just to finally bring my baby home a week before his due date. Premature babies go through so much but my son is healthy and happy. He has no brain bleeds IVH which is so s common with babies born his age he’s not on any medications or on any breathing machines which is very common with babies born at his age. I proud to see he’s such a greedy fat baby and love his milk he poops a lot and is perfect in everyway. So far he has no lasting effects of being born prematurely which I’m so very thankful for. The doctors don’t know why I had PROM (pre mature rapture of the membranes) but with my next child I will be seen by a high risk doctor and I’m very hopeful that I won’t have another preemie. My sons birth gave me a complete understanding of what love is and how to have compassion for other people. This ordeal brought me and my sons father even more closer as a family and we now live together and talking about marriage. He tells me I’m sexy and cause me his little sexy girl :) Life couldn’t be any better I’m working and going to school to become a nurse. I want to show another family the same compassion that my sons nurses should us. I want to work in the NICU with preemies. I’m learning to love my body at times I hate it and get so angry when people say oh u don’t even look like u had a baby. What I would give. This update is for all of the moms who hate there post baby bodies be so thankful that your body grew your babies and protected them because mines didn’t. Sometimes I wish I would be on the other end of the stick and complain about my post baby body. I didn’t get to breastfeed only pump but after six weeks my milked dried up so now my son is formula fed I’m hurting with another thing my body failed. I will have another baby and I will enjoy every moment of pregnancy. My pregnancy body was so beautiful I was nice and ripe sometimes I still touch my belly wishing I still could be pregnant. I included my pictures. The first picture is of my belly a week before I had my son. The next picture is of how my breast look now and the third picture is of my tummy now and the fourth picture is me now and the last picture is of my beautiful baby boy :) who I love so very much. When I get down I just think of all of the mommies who will never leave the hospital with their babies and i feel grateful that I have a healthy and happy beautiful baby who I kiss all day everyday.

Two Beautiful Babies, One Beautiful Mommy (Mary V)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 21 Comments

Age: 24
Pregnancies/Births: 2/2
Children: 2yrs, 4yrs

I have been up and down over the last few years, blogging on this site has helped me so much. This morning I went to the gym, I go 3 days a week for 2 hours each day. As kickboxing was about to begin the instructor and I were chatting and she lifted her shirt to reveal her “mommy” tummy, it was my “mommy” tummy! She is incredibly fit and gorgeous, I was taken back by how confident she was, even while showing something that most of us go to great lengths to hide. I quickly lifted my shirt to share my dirty little secret, and now I feel incredible. I have been working hard to get fit, and I am done obsessing over things I can not change. I am lucky to have two amazing, smart children and at the end of the day I have a husband who holds me tight. Life doesn’t get much better than this!

Finally In Love with My Body (Corinne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 15 Comments

33 years old
2 previous pregnancies, 2 children aged 12 and 15 months
Currently 25 weeks pregnant

I got married at 20 and had my first baby 10 months after we married. I went from a UK size 10 to about a 16 during my first pregnancy and got what I thought were the most hideous stretch marks. I did get a lot of stretch marks, right across my belly and my stomach never went back to its previous size. My husband’s sex drive had never been high but after going through the birth with me it was non-existent. Our marriage lasted about a year or so more and then I ended things and moved out to live alone with our son. My already fragile confidence after experiencing a difficult teenage years was even more battered.

When my son was 2 I returned to university to study Environmental Sciences. It was the best decision I made, my son went to the university nursery and I worked hard. I loved studying and loved my degree. My confidence grew generally but the whole time I still felt I hated my body, I went down to about a size 12 but felt like a young woman who’d missed out on being able to wear skimpy clothes and bikinis. I hid my stretch marks and flabby stomach from the world. I never felt I had a pretty face, my large breasts and long legs got lots of attention and mainly I would feel like a piece of meat to men in the street. I would try and hide them when I was out, I hated the attention.

While in my 3rd year I met the man who was to become my second husband. He seemed to be a confident, good looking and loving man. He loved my hour glass figure and seemed unfazed by my stretch marked stomach, I discovered that having big breasts and hips could be a sexy thing, but I still had my dreaded stomach to hide, I regretted not loving my body more before getting pregnant. In time I learnt he had his own issues about his self image, he’d had a serious accident which had left him scarred and with a badly broken nose. At times he would have a complete melt down about himself, so we ended up 2 fragile people together and in the end the relationship failed.

Shortly after our relationship broke down I had a brief fling with a friend and fell pregnant with my second child. I was terrified; I already hated my body and was scared what another pregnancy would do to it. I was alone and thought that I was going to be on my own forever. At this point an angel friend came to my rescue and paid for a long course of counselling for me, I got on incredibly well with the counselling, worked hard, confronted some issues, learnt how to trust and I can honestly say it completely changed my life.

During this time and while I was 4 months pregnant, I met a man on a week-long residential course with work. I was much more wary of becoming involved but in the end I followed my heart and we continued to see each other and moved in together much faster than I would have thought sensible. Luckily this turned out to be the best decision I made, he was there for the 20 week scan and the birth of my second son. He is an amazing father to him and we are now happily expecting our own baby together, though for both of us it feels like our second baby together. Both my son’s see their natural fathers but both get to share the experience of having this amazing man in our lives.

The biggest difference is my own self-esteem. My partner clearly completely fancies and adores me. He is loving and supportive and we share the same ideals, hopes and dreams from life. He sees my belly, both when pregnant and after as a beautiful miracle thing which has produced beautiful children. This attitude couldn’t help but rub off on me, I am finally feeling proud of my body and the wonderful work it’s done and is continuing to do. A few days ago I asked him to take some photos of me and the bump, stretch marks and all. I felt brave, liberated and beautiful. I am so proud of these photos it seemed fortuitous to then discover this website, so I’ve decided to share them with you, this is my biggest step yet in accepting my body, especially as I’ve decided to show you my face too.

Updated here and here.

Sometimes I like it sometimes I hate it (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 month

This is my first pregnancy and I should admit I was not quite ready emotional to things happened to me. I love my little girl who is 6 month old now but there are some things that upsets me a lot. I was 125 lbs before pregnancy and I already returned back to my weight. Still I am not happy with my body: there are some days I look at myself in a mirror and I think its ok it could be worse ( I did not get any stretchmarks) and sometimes the look of my body just upsets me so much. Recently I went to the pool that I was really excited about it since it was my first time after birth. Well, let me tell you I felt extremely insecure, I still have this line across my stomach and I felt like I am really chubby in comparison to other girls with perfect bodies. I am not saying anything about my boobs, they are saggy anyway. At the same time I am deeply ashamed of my own stupid behavior, I should just enjoy every minute playing with my little miracle but I choose to poison myself with negative thoughts. I do work out, try dieting but even with my weight 125 lbs I still look different.

5 yrs Fibro and Autism (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

age: 27
number of pregnancies/births : 1/1
age of child: 5.5

I am a plus size mom and wanted to represent more of us bigger moms since it is a little lacking. I am 324lbs at 5yrs postpartum. I am comfortable with my body, I deal with the constant pain of fibromyalgia every day and homeschool my 5yr old who has autism.

I was 250lb at 6weeks pp, but once my fibromyalgia started and I needed to start taking anti-depressants I started to pack on the weight. I probably rely on the therapeutic properties of chocolate too much some days, but its better than getting drunk. I have stretch marks everywhere, cellulite, rolls and scars from my gall bladder surgery, but my husband still finds me as sexy as the day I married him. I view my body as a map of my travels as a mother so far, one day I will lose some weight but these marks will always be with me and I am proud of them because inside my stomach I nurtured my child for 9mths. My breasts may sag but they breastfed my child for 2.5yrs.

I am woman, hear me roar!

Progress, Not Perfection (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 17 Comments

First of all, I would just like to say that I love this website, and I have visited it nearly everyday since I found it. It is truly amazing the giant gap between the body images we are fed in the media and the REALITY of what healthy women really look like. But of course, being aware of the problem and overcoming the problem are two very different things, and the latter takes an immense amount of work to accomplish. I think I am getting there, but I know I have a long way to go. Some days are better than others. So, here is my story…

I became pregnant with my first child three months shy of my 20th birthday. I was in a horrible relationship, but didn’t realize it yet. My pregnancy was complicated by preeclampsia, due to stress, and depression. The father of the baby, whom I was living with, was (is still) an alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t know about the drugs then, but I did know that he rarely came home at night. I stayed up worrying many nights. When he did come back, he would often threaten to leave me, occasionally packing all of his stuff in the car. He screamed a lot, and called me names. I was in a constant state of anxiety, and I felt like I was going crazy. He didn’t want to touch me all through the pregnancy. One night, he brought home this girl- a mutual “friend” of ours- and had sex with her in our bed while I was home.

My daughter was born in March. Her father was there, physically, but not mentally or emotionally. I spent the first month after my baby was born with a family member, and then we moved back to where her father was from. The abuse got worse, and turned physical. I honestly can’t remember him holding his daughter at all. Ever. I mean, I’m sure it happened a few times, but for the most part I was a single mom (with financial support). I breastfed my daughter for over a year. After a few months though, she only wanted to nurse on one side. I know it is pretty common for something like that to happen, but in my situation, it was unbearable. I was teased by her father and even his mother for my “lopsidedness”. I won’t drag you all through the next two years, but eventually I got sick of it all and got smart. Just after my daughter’s second birthday, I moved back home, got a job and moved on with my life.

Fast forward four years. I’m happily married and have a son now too. Sometimes I sit back and wonder how I got from 2007 to today. Luck? It seems so very far away, and yet it really wasn’t all that long ago. I still suffer from depression and now I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and get panic attacks. I birthed my son at a birth center without any pain medication. He was a robust nine pounds even. I felt fantastic (okay, maybe not fantastic)- but pretty damn good after the delivery. It was so much better than having an epidural, even though my labor was hard. My husband is a freaking angel. He is the most supportive, loving, amazing person I have ever met. He has put up with my “crazies” for the last three years like a champ.

Last year I had a breast augmentation to try to fix my uneven breasts. I am really happy with the result- although I do have days that I wish I could have been happy the way I was. I think my doctor did an amazing job, and I think they look and feel very natural. My husband was perfectly happy with me before, but he was very supportive of my decision too.

I had lost a lot of the weight I gained with my son, but I’ve recently gained some of it back. I’m not sure if it my diet, or the fact that I stopped hormonal birth control. We aren’t trying for another baby, and use condoms, but I just wanted to see what my cycle (and emotional state) would be like off of birth control. I had been on some form or another for almost ten years. I’m really unhappy about my weight right now. I was (a tiny) 120 before my daughter’s birth, gained 65 pounds during that pregnancy, and got down to 130 pounds about two years postpartum. The second time around, I think I gained about 40 pounds, got down to 135 and now I’m about 141 or so. I can’t fit into any of my old pants- even the things I was wearing 1 year postpartum, and it is really frustrating. I’m doing an ab class three times a week, but not much else. My diet is pretty sucky right now too. I am thinking about going vegetarian again- that’s what I did last year to get down to 135. I have an old scar on my belly- it’s not from a cesarean, but very similar to one like that- so I have that kind of skin/fat overhang thing there too, which I hate!

There is a lot more to my story of course… I’m just working on being able to talk about and share it all. Thank you for reading this. If there is one thing I’d wish for, it would be for everyone to be a little bit kinder to themselves and each other. Everyone has a story- some of them are like mine. Some stories are worse, and some are better. But everyone carries something around with them.

The first five photos are of me today, and the last one is when I was about 34 weeks pregnant with #2.

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 & 2, 2 years postpartum