Submissions

Everyone Tells Me I Look Fine… NOT (Christina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 10 Comments

Age:23
Pregnancies/Births: 1 pregnancy 1 birth
Childs Age: 14 months

Ok so I was 196lbs in March of 2010. I went on weight watchers and got down to 160lbs. June 8th,2010 I stopped weight watchers and my doctor said I had gotten pregnant that first week of June. So long story short, nine months later, at 6:15 pm I delivered my first born. I delivered at 196. How ironic! Anywho, I am now 160 lbs again but I dont feel the same. My husband says that I look great. I dont think so.

I began purging around 17. Stopped for a couple years and then picked up around 6 months PP to try to drop a few extra pounds. I just cant get there. So its off and on now.

Before my son, I had a navel piercing. After I gave birth it stretched out and now looks kind of funny. My breasts sag and I really dont like that. As far as stretchmarks, I got a few more than I already had on my sides, and my stomach ones are centralized around my navel. So although I didnt make out too bad, Im still not 100% comfortable in my “new” skin. Everyone tells me that “I’m a tiger (a mother) that has earned her stripes”. Its an empowering quote but then I look in the mirror. I want to lose 10-15 more pounds.

I would ultimately like to have another kid but when I look in the mirror I am not sure. I am afraid of the effects it will have on my body. Hubby says he loved me at 196, and loves me at 160. But I dont love myself enough yet. I feel like sometimes I am all over the place with my emotions. Just hope I can get a grip. Im tired of everyone telling me that I am trying to get to small. I know where I want to be, and if I cant get there then I will never be happy. The pics are at 39 weeks and now.

Ashamed and Unsatisfied (Kristen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

age 20, one pregnancy, one birth, little girl, 7 months postpartum

I carried a 100% healthy little girl a little over seven months ago. She was born 1 day after her due date, September 15, 2011. She weighed 8 pounds 12 ounces. I have never been the skinniest girl, nor will I ever be. I’m the average size 14 girl, until I got pregnant. I am 20 years old, a stay at home mom, a military wife, I have all that I could ever want, and feel ashamed that I could not like my body as much as I do. I have always tried to be active and eat healthy, but no matter how hard I have tried, it’s hard for me to lose the baby weight, the bigger thighs and the ‘love handles’. Every day, as I slip my clothes on, I wonder, “why can’t this just go away?” Then, as I walk down the hallway to grab my daughter from her crib, I remember why I look this way. I carried a beautiful little girl. This girl completes me in ways that I never thought could be. If I have anything to still learn, is to love my body. There are days where I could just cry and wear sweat pants all day, and there are those days that I think to myself, bring on the world. It is a battle, and I am proud to wear my battle scars all over my belly.

Pictures as followed
#1. 40 weeks pregnant
#2 40 weeks pregnant
#3 Zoe Jayne the day she was born
#4 Zoe at current age (7 months)
#5 7 months postpartum body

Mom of 3 (Amanda W)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Children with Health Complications, Diastasis Recti, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Third Pregnancy 4 Comments

I am a Mom of three wonderful children. 2 girls and a boy. i was 20 years old when i conceived my first, and she was born weighing in at 9lbs, 20.5 inches. i grew several cup sizes, and gained about 40 pounds, which i havent lost yet. shes 10 now. my middle child is 4, she was 7lbs 14 oz, born at 38 weeks, and a ball of fire. my little boy is now 10weeks, and was 10lbs 4 oz 21 inches at birth. he was born with an imperforate anus (his rectum and anus didnt connect) his was a mild case, and he is mending well, although he scared the crap out of us (pun intended LOL) when he was born. my last 2 were c-sections, my first was a vaginal delivery.

i am 31
3 pregnancies
10 weeks postpartum of number 3, 10yr old, 4 yr old

Mommy of 4 Boys (Carollee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Endometriosis, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Hi, My name is Carollee and I’m from Cleveland, OH. I was 19, 5’4′ and weighed about 130lbs when I got pregnant with my oldest son, Anthony. I gained the least amount of weight with him (about 50lbs) and delivered a happy healthy boy in Jan 2001. I had a typical what you read about delivery. 12 hour labor, Epidural at 4cm, but I only pushed once! He weighed 7lbs 2 oz and was 21 inches long. Complete Perfection!

A year later I was down to 115lbs. After suffering through a Miscarriage in Jan 2002, I got pregnant with my 2nd son in March. I carried differently, but I got huge and delivered him in Dec 2002 at 41 weeks weighing in at 190lbs. He was my biggest baby. He weighed 8lbs. My labor was a total of 3 hours from the first time I had a contraction until he was here. I did not have time for an Epidural but they did give me nerve block to help with the pain, which it did not! That was the hardest labor for me and I almost didn’t want more kids after him because of it. The nurses came sneaking into my room the next morning. I guess I turned into a devil women and was very nasty to everyone in my room. They were happy to see I was really a nice person, lol!

During the next year I had some problems with my girlie parts. I was diagnosed with a condition called Adenomyosis. It’s similar to Endometriosis, but slightly different. I was told if I planned on more kids I needed to do it now because I would most likely need a full Hysterectomy within the next few years. We decided to go ahead and have one more. I had lost a ton of weight after I had my 2nd son and when I finally got pregnant with my 3rd son in Nov/2005 I only weighed 103lbs. When I delivered him in July I was topping the scales at almost 200lbs. I was all belly!!! I am surprised I did not topple over I was so big!! I had another very fast delivery with him. It was 4 hours from my first contraction and I didn’t have to push at all. I was able to get an epidural so my labor with him was painless and I was not the evil devil women I was before!! He was a healthy 8lb 2 oz bundle of joy.

I only stayed non pregnant for 9 months. A family vacation to Niagara Falls sent us home with an extra surprise. I was 125lbs when I got pregnant with my last little guy. I gained a ton of weight again and delivered him on January 9th weighing in at 199lbs. I had to be induced because I was 41 weeks and because of how fast my deliveries went. When they induced me they gave me an epidural right after. They had checked me after the epidural and I was 3 cm. The nurse walked around my bed to put my info in my chart and I told her I could feel him crowning. She said it was impossible. My water broke and she reached over and his head was right there! I was still in a Triage room. there was no heating bed, Doctor, anything. She called the nurses station while holding his head inside me with 2 fingers. My Dr was just getting there. She ran around the bed just in time to see Killian plop onto the bed! I had not been in the hospital for 2 hours total and he was here. He weighed 7lbs 8oz and was another perfect little boy.

My body has been on a roller coaster of weights. My stomach has been stretched out, my chest has been everywhere from a “C” cup pre-pregnancy to a “DD” after birth to settle down to completely deflated “A” cups. I always had a problem nursing because my chest would literally just deflate and I would have very little milk production. I have stretch marks, but they are proof that I carried these 4 boys inside me. They remind me of the little kicks, back flips, and jabs to the ribs.

Pictures:
1~ Me Pre Kids
2~ 7 Months prego with my oldest
3~My Oldest, Anthony
4~ 5 months prego with my 2nd
5~ My 2nd Boy, Garrett
6~ After my 2nd
7~ 39 weeks prego with my 3rd
8~ My 3rd baby boy, Dalton
9~ 38 weeks prego with my 4th
10~ My baby boy, Killian
11~ My Boys, Worth every every Stretch mark :)
12~ Me Today 4-24-2012

~Age: 31
~Number of pregnancies and births: 5 Pregnancies; 4 Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: My boys are 11, 9, 5 & 4

I closed my kanga in the oven door (Britne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, PCOS, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 2 Comments

Age-26
1 pregnancy, 1 birth, Zoey, age 16 months.
Photos: 1- 15 weeks pregnant, 2. 40 weeks pregnant, 3. Kanga!! (16 months after birth)

After being told I would never have a child (due to PCOS) I did the impossible; I conceived naturally and quite by surprise. Now, my bright and beautiful 16-month-old daughter lives up to her name, Zoey, meaning life. I have never, EVER, been so entertained since having a child. Of course, having a child brought on the all the “joys” of a life-changing event. Including, but not limited to the pregnancy acne, hair growth, mood swings, pain of a c-section, and of course the beloved kangaroo sack of hanging skin that seems to drape ever-so-gracefully over my crooked c-section scar.

A few days ago, I was cooking dinner. Which I happen to do quite frequently since my husband likes to eat, and I mean EAT. Well, this particular night, my daughter was doing the whole hangy/pully off the clothes thing on my leg and I gently pushed her over a bit. Well she got mad and grabbed the bar that runs across the oven door and pulled the oven open. Well, me being me, I just pushed her back and went to close the oven door while turning off a burner at the same time. Lo and behold, my dang kanga belly got pinched when I leaned up and over to the burner controls, and I mean a good gob of flesh that was pinched, while shutting the door. I nervously yanked my Kanga out of the oven and quickly looked to see if my hubby had saw what had happened. Thankfully, he was too engrossed with his NHL Stanley Cup Finals. Ive come to terms with bad-ole-Kanga, learning what underwear “holds” Kanga in, and let me tell you it is not any Victoria’s Secret thongs anymore. In fact, my hubby was folding clothes and held up a pair of full-butt panties and exclaimed “wow, hun, are these yours?” I said “Of course not, they are Megs.” Meg is a friend of mine that visits and who leaves clothes at my home since she lives a bit away. The coolest part of Kanga (lol), is when my daughter finds rolls of lipstick or markers that she should not have and brings them to “show” me and I quickly hide them underneath Kanga/in the fold of my leg because she has figured out the whole behind-the-back thing.

On another note, my daughter is obsessed with bellybuttons, and frequently pulls up her shirt in stores to show people her bellybutton much to my mortification and then wants you to pull your shirt up and show her your bellybutton. Well, of course I play this game at home, but the sad part is with all the extra skin from Kanga, my daughters little finger just kept going and going into the space where my bellybutton is. For some reason, pregnancy has made my bellybutton hole deeper, or maybe its just the extra skin folding into itself. So instead, we play “find Daddy’s bellybutton and Mommy’s ear.” My husband is naturally thin, although Zoey will not touch his tummy for some reason (although his tummy is a bit hairy, so think it is rather scary to her.) Not only does she want to look at your bellybutton, but she also wants to blow on your tummy and make the gassy noise. I’m all game for that, but when she did this to the inside of my leg I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Its bad enough that my daughter thought my leg was my stomach.

For sums, I wouldn’t trade being a Mommy for anything. I look at my ultra-thin/sexy/successful neighbor and sometimes I am jealous. Jealous of her freedom, good looks, ability to get more sleep than I do, and probably most of all for being a little selfish and putting herself first. We throw ourselves away when we become a Mommy, I am just learning how to dig myself out of the dumpster and recycle myself. Ive lost about 15 pounds now, and I am exercising daily. I no longer look at Kanga and feel disgust, I look and I see LIFE, my ZOEY.

Mother of One (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

Age 21; Pregnancies 1; Births 1. I had to have my son by c-section after 16 1/2 hours of labor and never dialating past 1 cm. I was 18 when I become pregnant with my son and 19 when I had him. He is about a year and a half now and he is my everything. My pregnancy was a fairly normal, smooth sailing one. Besides going over my due date by 4 days and being induced. I was 120 pounds and in VERY good shape when I become pregnant, I didn’t recieve stretch marks until about 37 weeks and the were on the bottom of my stomach and on my sides. After having my son all those stretch marks came up and were everywhere! I have them on my inner thighs, butt, breasts and of course my stomach. I was very ashamed about my body for a long time, I didn’t even want my fiance to see me with clothes off. But one day he just sat me down and told me that there was no reason to hide, he loved me for me and my stretch marks didn’t bother him. This summer I have decided to wear a bikini again, I am very nervous but I am not ashamed anymore. I wish I could go back to my pre-pregnancy body but I have this one b/c of my amazing little boy and I wouldn’t trade that for anything! The picture is my stomach now.

Learning Acceptance (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

Pregnancies/Children: 1
7 weeks Postpartum

Growing up I had self esteem issues and I struggled with an eating disorder up until I found out I was pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant everything changed, I knew I needed to care for myself for my child. My mother didn’t do a very good job teaching us to love ourselves as we were because she was always dieting and getting plastic surgeries (even though she is/was already thin and beautiful) I gained 52 pounds during my pregnancy and so far at 7 weeks postpartum I have lost 31. My husband thinks I am beautiful and I am learning to love myself as well. We want to have another child, hopefully a girl this time (we have a boy) and I want my children to grow up knowing they are beautiful as they are. The first picture is me 6 weeks pregnant. The rest are now at 7 weeks postpartum. I have stretch marks everywhere and a loose belly. My boobs got huge and saggy, I am breastfeeding and no matter how hard I try to increase supply in the left side, my right breast is still 2 cup sizes bigger. These bodily changes are what brought me to my beautiful baby boy and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I Want My Body Back (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Toxemia 21 Comments

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5.5 month old ds/5.5 months pp

As long as I can remember, I have struggled with body image issues. All throughout my school years, I was always the big/fat/chunky/chubby/amazon woman or what have you. I was 5’9″ and 210 at my heaviest. I have also struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. When I was 19, I went on a one month food cleanse/detox per my naturopath and 5 months later, I was down 70 pounds. I was now 5’10” and 140-145 and felt and looked amazing, however at the time I still felt self conscious. I look back at pictures of what I used to look like and I just want to kick myself for wasting all that time hating a gorgeous person… Fast forward to November 10, 2011, I was 21 years old and via 3 week early induction and then emergency c-section due to pre eclampsia (at one point I gained over 20 pounds in one week from fluid), my son was born. He is my WORLD and has changed my mind and heart for the better… however, he also changed my body, completely and drastically. Due to stress, pre eclampsia and laziness, I gained over 100 pounds throughout my pregnancy. I stopped looking at the scale at the doctor’s office but I am now almost 6 months pp and 220 pounds, 80 pounds overweight. I don’t even feel like myself anymore, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling immense pain and grief. I don’t want to wear maternity jeans and sweatpants and huge tshirts all the time, I feel like a big bum and it doesn’t help my depression. I went from a size 3/5 jeans to not even being able to wear a 14; size small/medium shirts to large/xlarge. I have shopped in the plus sizes for the first time in my life. I am exclusively breastfeeding and not losing any weight! I’m even eating healthy, gluten/wheat/dairy free for my son. I just want to love myself for what I look like now. I don’t want to be worried that I’ll never find a man to love me. I want to feel comfortable in clothes and be a great positive example for my son. I just don’t want to be in pain when I think about my body. I haven’t even seen any other mom with stretch marks like mine, or who had the weight gain I had. I wouldn’t want to take anything back though, my baby boy is my entire world, I can’t imagine ever living without him and he completes me. Even though I feel ugly on the outside, I am a changed person on the inside. I love my mind now, and that has to count for something.

1. me at my lowest/healthiest weight
2. 17 weeks pregnant
3. 37 weeks pregnant
4. my beautiful son (5 months old)
5. 5.5 months pp front view
6. 5.5 months side view
7. me now at 220 pounds.

No bikini for me… (MotherOfOne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 18 Comments

This site is so wonderful! A big thanks to the creator.. These stories have made me feel a lot better about my situation.. Knowing I’m not alone.
These photos are 11 months postpartum. I got pregnant with my first, a beautiful baby boy, at age 21. Being young, I assumed my body would bounce right back to it’s 105-110lb. figure with no effort on my part. I gained 40lbs. during my pregnancy and now, 11 months later — I am still about 10lbs. over my ideal weight and struggling with this and the belly flab/stretch marks. I am still breast feeding and plan to AT LEAST for another month. I got complimented in the first few months postpartum on how my tummy went flat so quickly–but to me it still wasn’t as it should be. These last 10lbs. I can’t seem to shake off… Any one think it may be from breast feeding? Will it be easier to lose once I wean??
Summer is approaching and I cannot see myself flaunting a bikini at the beach this year… Or ever again for that matter….

My belly used to be happy, now it’s sad. (Claire)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 5 Comments

AGE 24
Pregnancies 2
Little boys 3YRS AND 2YRS
Natural births

As a 24 year old woman i have never really remembered a time when i looked in the mirror and thought i look really good and been 100% happy with my body. I remember being 16 years old at school and hating my weight of 130lb 5ft 4 . I look back now and think i would kill to have that body back. After a 7 year happy relationship and marriage the lbs have caught up on me as when your happy you don’t really care as much.

My first pregnancy was great everything was fine and the natural birth wasn’t bad either i didn’t need any stitch’s or anything . The worst thing was my belly afterwards it was just a saggy bag of nothing and i remember looking in the mirror at my stretch marks and thinking this will go back please please go back and fade away. Now when you have a newborn the last thing you want to do is work out and yes i will admit i did get lazy and i expected my tummy back with no work at all.

10 months later i got pregnant again and this time around it wasn’t that easy i was very ill and went to 42 weeks. My poor tummy was awful i wish i had toned up before.

I weight myself the day before i gave birth and i was 200lb now i was 2 weeks over and i thought my god this has just got to be the water and baby.

lol i remember the first thing i did when i arrived home with the baby is run upstairs to the bathroom to weigh myself hehe. I was 180lb I had an operation when i was 17 so now my stomach was hanging over my scar just like a c section.

This self hate of my body had to stop.

I was in denial really just got on with being a good mum to my two little munchkins but on October of last year i decided i want to weigh 130lb again i want to feel like i did at 16 and this time not beat myself up as i now know it was a healthy weight. I started healthy eating and no carbs mixed with Zumba and running.

I am now 138 lb and feel great still have to tone now i want to try and sculpt my stomach back naturally as much as i can. The picture is my sad tummy now i am trying to make her smile again lol.

I am hoping my new skin care routine will help my scars and my 100 sit ups a day with more cardio will help. I do know accept i will never be confident enough to wear a 2 piece swimsuit and have thrown all my old ones away but i have replaced them with lots of sexy one pieces and actually feel a little better.

I do accept my body more now as i know i have worked to help it out and i know i have two little darlings that are happy and healthy there are more important things in life all natural mummies have wobbly bits its just more to cuddle i suppose

Updated here.