Submissions

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 14 Comments

Hello, I am a 24 year old single mother. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter right after my 22nd birthday and gave birth Christmas day 2007. My daughter was small only weighing 6 pounds 15 ounces and 19 1/4 inches long. Though you couldn’t tell with the 80 pounds I gained. When I found out I was pregnant and told her father he was totally against me having her, he pushed abortion and when I refused he started dating someone else. All this extra stress didn’t seem to help with my extreme weight gain. I have always struggled with my weight and been heavy my whole life, when I had finally lost weight. At the time I got pregnant I was 158 pounds which wasn’t bad for my 5’8” frame. I always figured i would lose 20 or 30 pounds from giving birth, I came home 10 pounds lighter. I didn’t get many stretch marks, but I hate the way my body looks now. I now weight 193 and it is extremely hard to lose weight. Its hard to come to terms with my self and I have little to no self confidence. My daughter is now 19 months old and is my life, I wouldn’t change anything and she is the best choice I have ever made. I just feel so disgusted by myself, I feel unlovable at times. I found this site about a year back and it does make me feel better and I feel the support. The pictures are of me 19monts pp.

Updated here and here.

I’m not so sure I hate my body anymore (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

~Your Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Currently 15 1/2 weeks PP (photos taken at 13 weeks PP)

I have struggled with my body image ever since I was a child. I remember, when I was in primary school, sucking in my stomach during swimming lessons so that it would be flatter than the other girls’ tummies (it’s a habit I have had ever since). In high school I developed severely disordered eating, accompanied by anxiety and depression, and battled my body and weight for a very long time.

5 years ago I met and then married an amazing man who thinks I am beautiful and tells me so often. I loved being pregnant – I was healthy, happy and have never felt so beautiful in my life! My stomach, long despised, was my pride and joy. I was pregnant in summer and would walk to the pool in my bikini.

I put on 15 kg (33lb) while I was pregnant. It was 38 weeks before I saw a stretch mark and when I found my first one (I got 4 or 5) I cried and cried. And then I realised – millions of women around the world have nowhere safe to give birth, no doctors or midwives or antenatal care, how dare I act like this is the end of the world??!!! I was horrified at my vanity. My husband thinks they’re cool. He says they make me look like a pirate. I’m not so sure but they’re growing on me.

Labour was surprising, quick and hard. My son was born naturally just over 4 hours after my waters broke, 3 days before his due date. I’ve been told I was ‘lucky’ but going from the odd prelabour Braxton-Hicks to full, active labour in minutes left me feeling like I had been hit by a truck, both during my labour and for weeks afterwards. I quietly envy my friends’ stories of relaxing in the bath between their contractions!

Postpartum, I had expected to look pregnant for months after delivery, but what my hungry little boy hasn’t sucked out I unfortunately seem to have lost in a distressing haze of postnatal anxiety. It’s nice to fit into my old clothes but I would rather be fatter and happier. My body’s landscape is completely different now– where once there was muscle and firmness there just seems to be softness all over the place. I jiggle when I wiggle. My butt, which I used to like, now just kind of sags and squishes around in my pants. My problem skin flared during pregnancy and again now as I’m breastfeeding. My poor breasts have succumbed to mastitis four times.

But in the end, when I stop for a moment to silence the negative voices, I am kind of in awe of my body. It grew and protected my baby for 9 months. It was strong enough to withstand the full force of labour without a single drug or stitch. It has fed and sustained my son entirely for nearly four months now. I look at my body and then across at my sleeping child – the most beautiful I have ever beheld – and realise that my body is amazing and I can’t wait to do it all again.

Updated here.

I brought 6 amazing people into the world, if you don’t like my body, don’t look! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 28 Comments

28 yrs old, 5 pregnancies, 6 children (twins), 3 weeks postpartum

I am a 28 year old mom of 6 beautiful children. I have 10 year old twin girls, 8 and 6 year old boys, a 4 year olds and just gave birth to our 4th girl 3 weeks ago. I am always told that I look “great for having that many kids”…I feel that although my body has changed…quite alot with every pregnancy that the changes that remain are a small price to pay for being lucky enough to be a mother to these beautiful babies. My once perky D’s…are sadly no longer perky…They have breastfed 5 children and are currently nursing the newborn…I don’t think any new stretch marks have appeared but those I have are faded…but visible, my belly is wrinkly. I dont care…I still wear a bikini. The people who want to judge us…well they obviously aren’t mothers. But alas, one day we ALL age and our bodies WILL change…that is life…why waste time worrying about that? Let’s rejoice in our ability to create and bring to life new people!!

(Third photo is updated at seven months postpartum – Jan 2010)

Badge of Honor (Teresa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I went my whole pregnancy without stretch marks, until the last two weeks. I had mixed emotions about them, and various emotions about the 53 pounds of weight I gained. I was hoping to make it through without gaining a solitary mark.

The first few days were horrifying after delivery. I looked heavier then I did during pregnancy, yet… I had so much stretchy excess skin. I ignored the mirror as best I could, and only truly looked in it once my ankles made their returning debut.

Now, that I am 3 weeks post delivery; I look at my body, realizing I still have half the weight to lose until my pre-pregnancy body. There’s still room for major improvement with my body image, but I am content at the moment. I respect my stretch marks, and look at them and am proud. Kind of like a badge of honor. I earned these from all the hard work my body and mind putt into creating the best thing a person could create. I earned them creating another human being, the miracle of life. I sport them proud with my head held high.

Im proud of my stretch marks, if people say they are road maps, then they are the maps to pure bliss.

072609-teresa-1

Update Post (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

My first post was called “I wish I could love my body“.

Well its been 3 months since my last post and Ive been trying to find the time to fit in workouts. When my son was 6 weeks old I ended up in hospital with gall bladder stones. I had between 20-30 attacks over the next 5 months, putting me back in hospital 3 times. I finally was booked in for surgery about 2 months ago. 2 weeks after surgery I woke with the same pains. I had to call an ambulance for myself because I couldnt get ahold of anyone to take me to the hospital. The doctor had the nerve to tell me that I had anxiety problems due to being a single mother of such a small child. A week later, while on vacation, the same pains came back. I went to the hospital in the other city. They ended up finding I had stones lodged in my liver backing up the bile causing an infection. I was rushed back to my hometown for surgery because I was alone with my son there. While they were taking it out they knicked my spleen and I ended up with a double infection, hospitalized for 7 days. I didnt have help with my son really so I never got to fully heal. Finally 2 months later I am starting to feel normal again. Here are updated photos of me at 7.5 months pp. I think that there is a bit of a difference. What do you think? He is a VERY busy 7 and a half month old. I find myself constantly chasing after him. He began crawling a couple of weeks ago. Early starter! My weight has been going between 151-161 since the hospital. I cant seem to keep it steady and get below 150. Slowly but surely I am coming to terms with my new body, but would love to just be able to lose 10-15 more pounds and tone my flabby, streched marked stomache!

Photos – 7.5 months pp
Son – 7.5 months

Updated here and here.

There is hope for us with stretch marks!!!!! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Legs, Postpartum, Submissions 75 Comments

October 1, 2000, I delivered a healthy baby boy. However, when I brought my baby home, got the shower water running and started taking off my clothes I was not happy with what I saw. I was happy to see how my breast size had increased (I was a 34A before I had my baby and now a 34D). Besides the fact that I stretch marks on my belly, I had them on my upper thighs, hips, all over my but, all over my calves,(I had stretch marks on my calves before I had my baby but not as much to where I could not where shorts or a dress. Maybe 3 small ones on each calve.) and the back of my arms. My body became a road map of strech marks. I was so depressed. I cried when I got in the shower and when I got out. You see, before I had a baby I was alway the kind of girl to cover up my body. I always had a beautiful shape but never felt the need to show it off. Part of the reason why I stayed cover up was because I never felt feminine because my breast were small and I got teased for that for years. People would tell me how beautiful I am and how i should where a dress or skirt, but I never felt women enough to do that. But after having my baby and seeing how my breast blossomed I was going to lose weight and show off my figure. That dream stayed a dream. My body looked horrible.. I was 19, 5’3 177 bls after having a baby. Before I had the baby i was 130 ibs. I realized how much my body was beautiful before and I should have taken advantage of my youth. Fast foward to 2009. I have worn a dress 3 times in my life. One for my 6th grade graduation, a wedding in 2006 and I was ashamed and depressed because people stared at the stretch marks on my calves and on June 13, 2009 for my college graduation. That graduation was the best day of my life. Besides the fact that I graduated with my bachelors degree I wore a dress above my knees!!!!! I was determined to do so. I read about makeup and covering up marks. I found out about how airbrush makeup could cover up scars and tatttos. I thought maybe it could cover up stretch marks. I checked out airbrush make up artist and they could not cover it up. I had one last airbrush artist to see. I ran out of hope but decided to see her anyway. When I met her, she was warm and friendly. I told her my story and how it is important that I where a dress above my knees and cover up the stretch marks on my calves. She said had could do it(she never had a client with stretch marks before). When she got that airbrush and started spraying my calves with the make up and finished, I looked in the mirror and wanted to cry. My stretch marks was gone!!!! I said “Yes, I could finally wear a dress, shorts and belly tops.” Thanks to Lilly for the dramatic change and impact she has had in my life. Ladies there is hope out there!!!!

My Changing Body (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

This is my first pregnancy, first child. I am 21 years old.

Before I became pregnant I wasn’t exactly stick thin but I was very comfortable with myself and my body. I weighed 135lbs on a 5′ 5” frame. I didn’t start to show until my fifth month. My then boyfriend and now husband and I were living together when I became pregnant. Our son wasn’t planned but we got married when I was six months pregnant.

For the most part my pregnancy was fairly normal until around 32 weeks when my doctor told me I needed to gain about ten pounds by the end of my pregnancy. I was working and going to school full time and I suppose was too stressed and active to be keeping gaining enough. At 36 weeks my doctor put me on disability and I ended up with total weight gain of 37 pounds

After delivering my son a week early at a healthy 8lbs I started breastfeeding. I lost 30lbs within the first 3 weeks and was excited. Then after two bouts of painful breast infections I choose to give up nursing. Now I have gained 10 pounds back all ready.

I am six weeks postpartum. My breasts are two different sizes and I have deep red stretch marks and a floppy belly. Being a mother is beautiful but I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin for now. I have hope though and maybe I don’t need to have the same body that I did before. These pictures are ranging from 30 weeks to 6 weeks postpartum.

He Tells Me I’m Sexy (Jenn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cancer, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 22 Comments

I’ve been a larger girl since I was around 16-17 years old, after a knee injury that left me in an immobilizer for 6 months. Following that transformation of my body, I had a hard time regaining self esteem. Still, even though I was heavy, I still had a great body… beautiful, smooth skin, sexy thighs. I was comfortable with myself, even if I saw room for improvement. Following the birth of my daughter 5 years ago by Cesarean section, I was met with this entirely new wall of self-doubt and body image issues. Still, I was so proud of my body for sustaining her life and breastfeeding her, that I still allowed myself to see the light. When she was 20 months old, I found out I had ovarian cancer, and had to have one of my ovaries as well as massive amounts of tumors removed. It was during this time in my life that my husband asked me for a divorce. I successfully fought ovarian cancer on my own while raising our almost 2-year old daughter. I went back to college to get my degree, and my body was starting to look great. Then I got pregnant with my son. I didn’t gain much weight when I was pregnant with him, but I seemed to gain it while I was nursing him! :-O I found out about 10 months into his life that my cancer had returned and I was in for a helluva battle. Once again, I AM BETTER THAN CANCER. So, now I find myself.. 2 years postpartum, and I’m back to being disgusted with my body. I should be more dedicated to working out, but I’m just not. I beat myself up about it a lot, but keep telling myself that when it really matters, I’ll find the willpower.

However, I’ve just recently fallen in love. His name is Adam, and he’s incredible. And you know what? Despite my protests, he thinks I’m SEXY. Me! The girl with the scars and the lumps and the stretch marks and the low self esteem! He convinced me to take a picture of my stomach, which was a HUGE leap outside my comfort zone, and well — here it is. When I see women with magazine-ready bodies, I think –boy they must’ve worked hard to look that way. But you know what? I WORKED MY ASS OFF to look this way! I went through multiple pregnancies, a few births, and breastfed for almost 4 years combined. And every scar on my body is a reminder of something that helped make me the woman that I am today. The c-section scar along my bikini line? Two of the most gorgeous faces ever appeared to the world the first time because of that scar. The long vertical one that runs from my belly button to my pubic bone? That’s a daily reminder that when faced with cancer and life situations that sometimes made me just want to crawl under the covers and never come out, *I* WON! ME! JENN! IT WASN’T STRONGER THAN ME!

It’s been a long process, but I’m starting to believe him. :)

~Your Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 7 Pregnancies, 2 Live Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years postpartum

072009-jenn-1

2 Years, Nearly 3 Months Postpartum (Katelyn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

Age: 18
Pregnancies & births: 1
2 years, nearly 3 months postpartum

I got pregnant two months before i turned 16. My daughter’s father and I didn’t know each other well, weren’t together, and we weren’t for a very long time. I spent my 41 week pregnancy and 19 months of her life as a single mom, relying on my own mom for support, both financially and emotionally. Thanks to her looking after Hazel during the day, I was able to finish high school and also get two years of college done at the same time. When Hazel was 19 months old, her father decided he wanted to be involved, and we ended up getting together and have been for nearly 8 months now. The relationship between Hazel and him is a little rocky because of the gap between her birth and his involvement, but we’re working on it. Before getting pregnant, I was 5’3 & 1/2″ tall and 120 lbs. Now i’m 114 but with a lot of difference between my old body and this one. I have my days when I watch too many infomercials & spend too long at the magazine rack & long for the body I had before, but I also have my days when I look at my bumps and stretch marks fondly & remember the time my child spent inside my body, waiting, growing strong…and I smile.
These pictures were taken tonight, my standing on the lip of my bathtub and perched precarioiusly atop Hazel’s baby bathtub. I really need a full-length mirror lol. The last one is Hazel and me, in our normal silly state. (Her father is full blown Irish, hence her stunning lack of deep pigment haha.) Despite my young age at the time of her birth, she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She’s changed my entire perspective on everything I encounter in daily life. She’s opened my mind and my heart and made me a better person.