Pregnant

Still on my way to accepting myself. (Melanie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 12 Comments

Age: 28
2 pregnancies, 1 birth
my son is 16 month old

When I met the father of my child I was 26 and we both knew instantly that THIS IS IT! We were what we’re always looking for and one month after we became a couple I became pregnant. It was no accident, but we should have thought about it more carefully. We were so desperately in love, we thought being a “real” family is the best we could do. From my todays point of view I’m sad that we didn’t think about it for some more time. From the very beginning we were “three”, and I sometimes wish I could have him just for myself. Just hanging out with him, going out, getting to know him, etc. But what to do.

That was also the reason why I had a really hard time to accept there was some”thing” inside of me. For the first half of the pregnancy I just felt like an incubator for some kind of aggressive alien, that wants to eat me from the inside. When we got to know the gender of the child and then FINALLY found a boys name it was somehow easier to accept – this “thing” inside became a “someone” with a name.
My husband-to-be is amazing, alltime caring and supporting and very understanding. He beared all my doubts and hopelessness, trying to be the best partner one can be. This year we will marry and it just took so much time because I want to have some champagne at my own wedding, and you know I couldn’t so far. :)

We had to wait pretty long for the little man to come, he was 10 days late when we decided to induce labour. It took almost an entire day, without any painkillers etc., all natural. I gave birth to a four kilo boy.

Today this boy is almost 16 months old, very active and healthy, with a strong will. It took some time for me to be able to accept and love this child, due to some problems with postpartum depression and other things. He was and still is very lively and I think everyone has to get used to the fact not to be able to go on living his own life the way he did before. I still struggle with that every day, but there are more and more moments every day when I’m so proud of this charming little troll or when I think how nice it is to have this family. Yeah, maybe I’m just a spoiled brat. The first six months I had to carry him all day, or lie down on the couch next to him. All day! I almost went crazy. He couldn’t sleep alone, started screaming instantly when I just got up to go to the toilet. Honestly? I’m so happy that this phase is over now. I’m about to get my old self back, and that feels so good.

When the boy was about six months old I accidently became pregant again. That was a shock for us. We actually want a second child – but not like this. I wouldn’t have managed. I was about to emigrate to my boyfriends home country, my son was the most exhausting thing in the world, there was absolutely no time for a second child. It wasn’t an easy decision, but in the end I had an abortion. I’m so sorry for this little one, maybe it was the girl we would wanna have, but I still think it was the best decision for all of us. I don’t want to be too overstrained to give my boyfriend the love he deserves and to ruin our relationship with that. You see, I’m no supermommy and whatever I do I will never be, I can just give my best. I have no idea how those “mothers of seven” manage to be able to breathe in their daily life. But well, everyone is different I guess. I have to find my own way to deal with that.

My boyfriend still loves my body, though I don’t really know why. It was also not perfect before and I don’t mind the stretch marks I have now (tits, thighs, belly). There are three to four kilo I just don’t manage to lose, though I was also not happy with my weight before my child. But what really annoys me is my tits. They also weren’t big or well-shaped before, but now they are just small, sagging bags, they look shriveled and poor. The only good thing: they were always very milk-productive (I never had any problems with nursing) and my wonderful body gave me nipples before my son was born, I didn’t have any in the past. :)

I still can’t really accept my body so far, but I also couldn’t before, and I know I have to do something about it. I’m aware of the fact that I look like a normal woman, but that’s such a taboo, no one ever talks about that. So this site is great and it will hopefully help me and others. I KNOW that my body is amazing, I grew a child inside, gave birth to it, nursed it. Female bodies are perfect and wonderful!

1 + 2 my body in the past (23 and 25 years old) both taken by myself, just so you know
3 – 6 situation today
7 21st week
8 35th week
9 birthday of my son
10 I had such monster tits in the beginning!
11 our little dude today!

(I’m sorry if I sometimes don’t express myself in a super correct way, I’m no native speaker.)

Smokin’ Hot (Katie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 18 Comments

Smokin’ Hot! (Katie)

Age: 36
Pregnancies/births: 11/3 (8 miscarriages)
Ages of children: 4.5, 2, 2 weeks

My son is two weeks old today, and as I was about to get in the shower (yay, shower!), I saw myself in the mirror and thought, I am smokin’ hot! I should submit pics to SOAM! So I got my eyepod and took a couple of pics. Don’t think I don’t have stretch marks; I just don’t have any from pregnancy, which given my losses, makes me sad. All 3 of my children were born by spontaneous, unmedicated vaginal birth. The scar on my belly is from the burst appendix I had at 20.

Photos are my henna belly at 37w4d and front and side views 2 weeks postpartum.

Second Pregnancy, Trying to Avoid the Mistakes – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Previous entry here.

My age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
I have a 2 year old son and I am currently 23 weeks pregnant.

Technically this is my third pregnancy since the second one ended after 9 weeks in a miscarriage, but I refer to it as my second pregnancy because it’s the second baby I’m gonna have.
After my miscarriage in July 2012 I became pregnant again immediately and I am currently 23 weeks along.
Everything is looking perfect this time and at the last ultrasound we were told that we are having another boy! I know this is a horrible thing to say, but at the first moment I was a little bit disappointed, somehow I had thought that it was a girl this time. Fortunately these negative feelings vanished and I can honestly look forward to welcoming this little boy in our lives!

With this pregnancy I started showing very early and I am wearing maternity clothes since I’ve been 12 weeks along. As I wrote in my last entry, it took me a long time to accept the changes my body went through with the first pregnancy, so I do my best to not become as huge as I did the last time. You can call me shallow or vain and I know that there are many things way more important than my physical appearance, but I also know how unhappy I become if I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

I don’t go to the gym as often as I want to, only once or twice a week, because I work, I study and I have a 2 yr old to take care of.
I try to eat healthy most times, but I developed an immense sweet tooth with this pregnancy and sometimes I give in to my cravings.
I have gained 4kgs (nearly 9lbs) so far, which is more than I wanted to have at this point but still better than in my first pregnancy.
I have bought maternity jeans in the smallest size available and aim to wear them till the end.
And I also use every cream, lotion and oil I can find although I know that probably doesn’t help anything.

So although I know that chances are not very good since I already got stretchmarks with my rather small first pregnancy bump, I’m still hoping and working for a body that I can feel fine with postpartum.

Pictures:
#1: only 11 weeks along!
#2 – #4: 23 weeks (the last one is not very good, I included it because the stretchmarks are really obvious here)
All stretchmarks from first pregnancy.

My Stretch Mark Journey (Toni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy/ 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months pp

Original post here.

Last time I posted I was 32 weeks pregnant and I was just starting to get my first stretch marks. I honestly cried hysterically when I found them, but decided to put all of my negative emotions aside and tried to focus on the fact that I was soon going to be a mummy. By 39 weeks I had put on 13 kilograms (approx 28pounds), which I was absolutely ok with and a lot of people would tell me that I was carrying small for my gestation (they were all just trying to be nice, I’m sure). I had plenty of stretch marks on the day I gave birth (39+3 weeks) but after my labour and meeting my beautiful daughter, they were the least of my concern.

Just to give you a brief run down of my labour- I was registered to give Birth in the ‘Birth Centre’. This area has a natural birth mentality and they don’t offer drugs for pain relief, they instead have a bath for water births and assist you through breathing etc. So my only ‘plan’ was for my labour to be as unassisted as possible. After 5 hours of pushing, my contractions stopped and my baby’s heart rate had increased, she was also stuck sideways and not moving down, so they decided to intervene. Vacuum failed 3 times and I was moved in for an emergency c-sec. By this time however, she had moved too far down, so they decided on the use of forceps even though there was risk of brain damage and facial disfigurement because of her being an in incorrect position for vaginal delivery. She was born at 4:58pm on August 4th 2012 and taken to Special Care for respiratory issues and a Hematoma.

Approximately 4 days after giving birth, I had lost the 13 kgs and I was absolutely fine with my post baby body- I was honestly just happy to finally have my baby out of Special Care and be given the all clear by the Pediatricians! It wasn’t until about 7 or 8 weeks post partum that I realised my stretch marks were getting WORSE. I didn’t think it was possible and thought they were suppose to fade, but each day they were getting higher and redder as my tummy retracted! I was horrified. By 3 1/2 months pp, the stretch marks started to fade slightly on their own and although I was still upset by them, I knew they would continue to get better. At 4 months pp I started applying Strivectin SD cream twice daily, as I had read an article on how great it was for stretch marks and found some on sale discounted by 80%. I have been using this cream now for 3 weeks and I think the results are AMAZING! The marks are definitely still there, but they no longer feel deep and they’ve faded to a silvery white so quickly.

If you are worried about your stretch marks, I promise you THEY WILL GET BETTER! To put things into perspective, the most important thing is the beautiful little human you have created is happy and healthy. So as hard as it is, if you are pregnant, don’t focus on what the outside of your tummy looks like, and just enjoy what’s happening on the inside. And once you have your precious little treasure in your arms, spend as much time loving your miracle and loving your body for creating them!

Thanks for reading. Toni Xox

Pictures;
37 weeks pregnant
7 weeks pp (very red stretchies)
3 mths pp (yellow pants)
now 5 mths pp (pink shorts)

First Time Mommy (Mrs. Roussell)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Children:1 4wks Pp

Im so glad I found this website!! I was 124lb 5″1 before I got pregnant..I loved my body and so did my husband which why I got pregnant lol…I was 160lbs and gave birth at 39wks.. Only one of my friends (age 23) has kids (2 girls) and only one immediate family members has 1 son, so I looked at them to see what my body would look like after having my son..my friend and I was pregnant at the same time.. we were 3 months apart.. 2 weeks after she had her daughter she looked like a freaking model!!!!! Big booty, nice boobs and a FLAT tummy!!! My family member is 3 yrs pp so I looked at her body since we are related I assumed my body would look similar after I had my son WRONG!! She looked like a thicker Model!!! Im so insecure about my body.. I wear big shirts and sweats around the house and refuse to let my husband touch my stomach no mater how many times he calls me beautiful or sexy I just dont see it…and the media doesn’t help..I see moms on tv and they look great example Heidi klum (i swear that women is a pure freak of nature lol) but needless to say seeing the images on this website has bought my self confidence from a 1 to a strong 2.5 lol but I so happy this website exist for moms to share :-)

1st picture: before pregnancy
2nd 9 months pregnant
3rd 3 weeks pp
4th and 5th 4 weeks pp.

Updated here.

Feeling Happy With My Post-Baby Bod (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

22 years old, one pregnancy and one birth via emergency c section.
6 week old baby boy :)

This is just a short story of my birth as the pictures I want women to see then to show how a real 22 year old average body is and no one is perfect so just enjoy your baby and be happy!

I went into hospital because I was 10 days over and my body just wouldn’t go into labour, I had over ten membrane sweeps and three gels put in.. I only dilated half a centimetre by that point.. On the 14 day overdue I was took down to the labour ward and put on the drip I was in labour for 15 hours the highest dosage until I finally had my last check and I had only dilated 2cm I literally felt like he’d never ever come out I just knew I would need a c section so I agreed to get the epidural and a few hours later was wheeled down to the theatre for my emergency c section.. 11.30am on 13.12.2012 my little boy was born!

The day after his birth I was able to get up and have a shower.. My first glance at my body after having a baby took out scared me but I took a peek.. Omg I still looked 9 months pregnant!

I’m glad my belly has sort of gone back to normal I’m still in the same sized clothes I’ve always been in but I just have a over hang which I hate I can’t wait to exercise as my weight loss is just breastfeeding and I’ve stuffed myself on choccy because its Christmas time!

I just want women to know, love your body your stretch marks.. Every girl has them even without a baby!

The first picture is me 16 weeks pregnant as I didn’t have one of my belly not pregnant! The second is me 41 weeks pregnant, the third is 2 weeks after my c section, the fourth is me 4 weeks after and the fifth is me today 6 weeks post c section! xx

Hi, my name is Bump and for nine months it’s all about me! (Alinka)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

Hi, my name is Bump and for 9 months it’s all about me!

I am a mystery (well not for your gynecologist, but still). I am where the miracle of life starts (really that would be my neighbour the
fallopian tube but let’s not get into details now). I am where you’ve all spent 9 months before you came to this world. No wonder I attract so much attention.

In week 13 you still couldn’t see me but I know that I was loved. I was talked to, touched and screened during check-ups. In week 18 I
bounced a little for the very first time – my guest punched faintly against my walls and I knew I brought loads of excitement. That
however was only the warm-up to what then became a regular kick-box training against my walls. That little thing inside sure was a lively one!

In week 23 I still wasn’t attracting any attention and when I went for the ultrasound appointment (I was traveling so the doctor didn’t know me), the nurse was surprised that there was a guest inside me! That’s how big I was.

In week 25 I could still fit into my skinny jeans, as in week 26 (beginning of the third trimester) and week 27. But that was it. Week
28 was when I hit the skinny jeans limit. Still, the shop assistants failed to notice that I had a little guest inside me when I was clothes shopping and nobody ever offered me a seat. But I felt fit and fabulous and the whole body did gain the recommended weight.

Week 30 was the first time a stranger noticed me. I was waiting in line to get a gelato and a little girl whispered to her friend: “look!
There’s a pregnant lady!”. Since then people started noticing.

The whole body gained 11 kg from the beginning to week 29 after which it lost 2kg by week 32! But if you look at the pictures you can see me growing – I was however still the smallest one in my prenatal class.

At the end of week 36 I already started feeling my guest descend. I started feeling my first (painless) contractions in week 37.

I reached 40 weeks and baby girl was still inside! I went into labor on a full moon. The creature I was hosting for 9 months swam out of me clean, beautiful and blissful making me vanish. One week after giving birth the body already lost 7 kg out of the 10 kg it gained during my pregnancy!

After I vanished the brain came up with a book about the whole thing. There are twenty bumps describing their adventures from conception, the great and icky about pregnancy, and the end, which was another beginning. They even named the book after me. It’s called “Bumptabulous”. And it’s a tribute to all bumps and those carrying us.

So Depressed About My Postpartum Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 44 Comments

I got pregnant at 20 years old/ After a string of terrible luck i began working at a bikini bar. I hated every second of it. Hated the way people acted and hated getting judged all day, and treated like a piece of meat. I felt like at the time, i had no choice, the money was good and I had no other way to pay the bills. One night, me and a couple other dancers had gone to the MMA fights. Afterwards we went to one of the fighters houses for the after party. Thats where I met my babys father. He was one of the fighters and it was at his house. i gave him my number and we started hanging out. I eventually moved in with him and we started dating. After being there about 6 months I discovered I was pregnant. This was a huge shock since I had been on birth control and made him use condoms every time, just in case. Well, apparently both failed. I quit the bar when i got pregnant. Things went downhill fast from there. He started using. (or i guess just stopped hiding the fact that he had been all along, he knew I hated any and all drugs and apparently just stopped caring). He would also do other stupid things, like one time leaving me and his 5 year old son home in a blizzard with no heat because he had decided partying all night at the bar was more important than getting propane, so i had to take his son with me to a friends house to stay so he wouldnt freeze. After I found out he was cheating on me I quit trying to make things work. (i hated the idea that my daughter would never know her father, but decided she was better off without someone like that). I moved out, and went back to my parents house. Broke the news to them that I was pregnant, and basically sunk into a depression about how crap my life had turned out. 9 months of feeling awful, sick all the time, anemia, heartburn, etc, I had all the pregnancy problems. Around 3 months I was working again at a Dairy Queen and saving money to buy everything I would be needing. The father texted me maybe twice my entire pregnancy. He couldnt care less what happened to her. Finally at 41w I went into labor. after 23 drug-free hours and a completely natural labor, complete with lots of screaming and crying lol, i delivered my 7lb9oz baby girl.

I did tear so recovery was pretty hard for me. I am now 7 weeks postpartum. I love my daughter but I really miss what could have been/what my life was before. I hate that I didnt actually get to celebrate my 21st birthday or even since then.. I miss going out with friends, even to simple things like movies or dinner. I miss taking a nap because im tired, or falling asleep at night whenever i want and sleeping till im refreshed. I miss having free time, I feel like my freedom is totally over, I have barely lived and lifes over. And i despise my body. I never have had a good face, i guess im wat you would call a butterface. the way i saw it, my body was all i had it better be awesome. While i was dancing i was in the best shape of my life, its an unbelievable workout. But now, my belly is gross and fat with extra skin, my breasts are covered in stretchmarks and look like deflated tube socks ( I think thats the worst part, I could deal with everything else, my belly will tighten more I hope, but my breasts are a lost cause), my butt looks like a tiger grabbed it, and my hips got so big none of my jeans fit anymore. I was 110 when I got pregnant and 135 when I delivered. I am now 112 and nothing fits. Its so depressing, I feel like I am only 21, I do not want to have the body of an old woman. I miss everything about my old life. Even the crappy things. I would never want anything bad to happen to Emma, but I do wish I had had her when I was older, and had gotten to do more before being strapped down for the rest of my life..i know that sounds selfish. I am hoping as time goes on and she starts sleeping through the night and being awake without screaming, and not being attached to my boob 24 hours a day. Which, after 7 weeks of exclusively breast feeding, still hurts. Lactation consultant says shes latching perfect and basically nothings wrong so she cant help. She says “shes just a strong sucker”, so i guess im doomed to pain until I wean her. Anyway, hopefully soon things will smooth out and I wont feel so much like I do now. I just got a new job as a server in a nice restaurant so maybe getting out of the house will be good for me. I know I need the money.

Thanks for reading and for all the inspirational stories and words that you guys post on here. It helps to know Im not alone. I have been reading this site since I got pregnant.

Pictures are
1. pre-baby belly, which I used to complain about back then, now I would kill to have it back…
2. 41 Weeks – this was a couple of days before I went into labor.
3. Pre-pregnancy breasts, terrible picture, but this is the only one I have of them before. They were never big (barely a B, and I used to hate that, but now id do anything to get them back, at least they were perky..
4. Postpartum breasts (nipples are nasty and huge, and boobs are just saggy, deflated, tube sock looking things. I hate them so much. Plus theyre covered in stretch marks, you cant really see them in the pic.) and ruined belly button. So stretched out my navel ring almost falls through, not really sure whats stopping it.
5. When i lift my arms they arent even round they look disgusting.
6. side view
7. my daughter and what I call her “omg” face lol

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks

A Mother’s Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Previous post here.

21 year old mother of a 1 year old boy

It’s funny what a few months can do to you. I wrote a second entry about my body and the sadness and disappointed that I felt at the fact that I did not lose the weight like everyone had assured me I would, and did not feel confident and sexy as I once did before becoming a mother. 5 months after writing that entry, I’m writing this one.

My son will be turning 1 in just over a week and I’ve realized that I don’t stop and stare at myself after showers, I don’t hide under the covers when my husband and I make love, and I don’t care about changing how I look. I’m finally okay with me, just the way I am.
I was lucky enough to go through such a life change as pregnancy and parenting with someone so accepting and loving. He hasn’t changed a single thing about how he adores and reacts to my body and I can tell he appreciates my body more now for bringing his son into our lives.

I look at my son everyday and wonder how I would have been so sad in the first few months about how I looked, when it was all so worth it. Why was I so focused on something so irrelevant when I had a gorgeous child in front of me, something the doctors said I would never have. I’m not saying accepting the changes of your body is easy, and I perfectly understand that my body could look much different and be much harder to accept, but I think the reason I accepted it was because I stopped judging it. It doesn’t matter how I looked before getting pregnant and when I finally stopped making that comparison I realized that this body I have now may be different, but it’s not unattractive. It’s the body of a mother, and that is a beautiful thing in so many ways.

First photo is just a month before conceiving, in a size 2, Second photo is at 41 weeks pregnant, Third to Sixth photo are of my body as I am now, just a week shy of 1 year postpartum, Seventh photo is the only time I dared to wear a bikini after the birth of my son and the very last photo is my beautiful and healthy little boy, the thing that made it all worth it!

This will be my second and final entry but I will continue to read every submission. I’m so amazed at the strength everyone has just to post the change in their bodies, whether minimal or not. It’s truly played a big part in the acceptance of my body in this journey as a mother! Thank you.

First Pregnancy by Cesarean (Tsvetelina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 5 Comments

Hi there. My name is Tsvetelina fit the 23 from Bulgaria. My English is not very good, but I hope you understand what I write. 4 months ago I gave birth to baby girl – Anna. 3.200 kg, 50 cm Pregnancy passed me slightly, the first two months my slightly sick , after 7 months began acids. My term was for July 28, 2012.It’s been two days and my doctor decided to put me in the hospital to induce labor. In the evening I look at ultrasound. It was a normal birth. In the evening the doctor saw that the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby and that I am prepared for cesarean delivery. It all happened very quickly. I was very scared. But Anna was born 30/06/2012. I was in the hospital six days. I restored quickly from surgery. Everything is fine now except the abdomen does not want to go. It saddens me. I have stretch marks on the side of love handles. My breasts hung than breastfeeding. I give a milk of me – 40 days and stopped my milk because Anna is eyelid ptosis, and I was very worried. At 2 months of Anna navel operate as it turned out that there granuloma navel. From these concerns stopped my milk. Now Agim calm, do crunches to get my belly. Before I got pregnant I weighed 50 kg. I gained 17 kilograms. At the hospital I lost 6 kg. and for four months I lost 4 kg. I have not trained anything. Now I weigh 57 kg. I hope to get my weight soon.

The first two pictures are from 22/11
Picture with the big belly is 22/07/2012
Photo by Annie is 13/11/2012
The photo of the sea in the summer of 2011