Postpartum

Two Months PP With #2 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Number of children/births- 2
Age-23
Prepreg weight- 116
Postpreg weight- 129

Previous post here.

I wasnt in a good place after my second post. I was struggling with my body after my husbands infidelity. Soon after that post I got pregnant with my second child, a girl. I was excited, but thought Oh Boy, here we go again. I have never been one of those people who love being pregnant, I think its cute on everyone else and I miss it when I’m not. With my first pregnancy, I gained 20 pounds and got one long, thick stretch mark on my side. Breastfeeding for nearly 2 years had left my breasts alittle saggier then I remembered them, but I was feeling really pretty about my body! Almost right away, I was hungry all the time, really hungry not just snacky. I gained 10 lbs in the first 8 weeks. This was making me really nervous. I had another GREAT pregnancy though, I have been blessed to be able to have such healthy pregnancies and then healthy babies. When all was said and done at the end of August near my delivery date, I had gained 29 pounds, and my stretch mark got long and wider. I had an awesome delivery, I wanted to go it natural since I had had an epidural the first time and it ended up with me not being able to push effectively and having to have a vacuum assit and then I tore, healing took longer….So I labored until 8-9 centimeters before getting some pain relief through my IV, but I could still feel to push, feel her move down, feel her come out with her little hands up by her ears and didnt tear this time. Recovery seemed fast and easy, although everyday brings me something new having two little girls to care for, I still have about ten pounds I’d like to loose and hopefully tone up my tummy. My husband and I were able to overcome our problems, and our marriage is going pretty well. We’d like to have another child a few years down the road, I am excited for that yet nervous, I feel that having two children has made my body alien to me, what would a third do to it? I love this site, been following all your stories since my first daughter was born, its a great place for us to voice our fears and concerns and find reassurance! Thanks for posting and thanks for reading.

First and second photo-30 weeks with #2
Third and Fourth photo-8 weeks pp

Over Two Years Later and Another Baby – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

Original post here.

It has been over two years since my first submission/story was posted on this wonderful site. My amazing son will soon turn five years old and he is still more than I could have ever hoped and wished for. My husband is still active duty in the Marine Corps and we endured another combat deployment, this time to Afghanistan. It was even harder than the other deployments for a few reasons. One being the communication was almost non existent. We went over a month with no contact due to his location. The second was that I was pregnant during the deployment! We had no clue the day he left, but about a month into the deployment I found out we were expecting. I could hardly believe it. I had to then wait and wait for a rare phone call to finally tell him the news! At my first Dr appt. we calculated that we must have conceived within 7-5 days before he had left! During the second trimester we then found out we were having another boy. Due to some re enlistment/time left on contract issues they had to send him home a few months early (hey no complaints here!!!) I was so beyond relieved to have him home and so happy he would get to be around for the last part of the pregnancy and birth!

I did a bit better with weight gain this time around. Started at 150 lbs and was at 186 lbs day of delivery. Unfortunately I delivered via repeat c section even though the Dr had given me a 75% chance of successful VBAC. The delivery was awful. I had mild Pre eclampsia and they wanted to induce me at 39 weeks. I ended up getting food poisoning/bad stomach virus a few days before my induction date. I was so sick and dehydrated that it was causing me to contract. They admitted me and gave me fluids & anti nausea medication. Then proceeded to start pitocin. Within the first 15 min or so of getting the pitocin the baby had a drop in heart rate severe enough that they told me we HAD to do an emergency cesarean. At that point I was so exhausted that I didn’t even want to talk about it. To top it all off, my spinal did not fully take. I wasn’t “numb” completely and ended up feeling some of the pain from the surgery. They wanted to put me under with a breathing tube but I freaked out on the table and pleaded with them. They instead gave me very strong meds during the rough parts. I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. It was loopy, scary, weird and painful all mixed together, but I was awake to hear his first cry. I was able to see his face and kiss my beautiful baby boy, and that I am grateful for. It was love at first sight. He looked just like his big brother! 7 lbs 1oz and perfect from head to toe!

His 1st Birthday was just a few days ago and I still find it hard to believe he is ONE! I love my boys and I love how they interact together.
As for me and my body these days… I still have work to do… But as I’ve gotten older and possibly wiser lol, I realize that I am not ruined or unsightly. I am a Mother. I am Unique. I am strong, and I am filled with love. How can I hate those things?? I am on the right path I believe. I am now at 156 lbs, with a goal of 140 lbs and 21% body fat. I plan on adding more weight training to my fitness and am excited to find out how my body will react to it.

I’m not sure if I gained any new stretch marks or not.. To me it doesn’t really look like it. Although I do think I have a bit more loose skin now… The wrinkle under my belly button is still there and I have an “apron” when I bend over lol.

I keep saying this lately: “Love conquers all”. I truly believe it too… For whoever may read this far.. All I ask is to love yourself, love who you are, you are one of a kind!

~Age: 28 (will be 29 on Nov 28th)
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies and 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 years old and 1 year old, 1year postpartum.

I’m still alive, but we lost our precious daughter. (Maureen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean (Vertical), Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Complications During or After Birth, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 22 Comments

Age: 32
Pregnancy/birth: 1
Children: 1 angelgirl in heaven, passed away 3 days after birth

Title: I’m still alive, but we lost our precious daughter
Name: Maureen, Proud mama of Chloë*
Country: The Netherlands

On Monday evening the 25th of July 2011 I was brought to the hospital by Ambulance, because of serious belly ache. I passed out several times. By the time I arrived in the hospital I was in shock. I was rushed to surgery to get the baby out. The doctors thought of a placental abruption. But in surgery they found out that I had an internal bleeding, I lost about 3.5 liters of blood. At 23.59h our beautiful daughter Chloë was born. The moment she was born she was not breathing, so they helped her to get her breathing right. Her heartbeat was stable.
Later that night Chloë was transferred to a specialized hospital because the doctors worried about her brainactivity as a result of the lack of oxygen.

After surgery I was brought to the Intensive Care, where I was kept asleep and on the respirator. My condition was stable at that time.

My sister in law and my husband went to the hospital where Chloë was taken to. She was brought to the NICU. She was also on the respirator. Her tempature was brought to 33.5 C to minimize brainactivity and braindamage.
While my husband was with Chloë, he got a telephone call from the other hospital that I was brought to surgery again because of another bleeding…
My sister in law brought my husband back to me. In surgery they found out that I had another 2,5 liters of blood in my belly. When I was back from surgery, I was brought with a mobile intensive care unit to the same hospital as Chloë.

Chloë wasn’t doing very well… 2 brainscans showed no activity, this was caused by the lack of oxygen. Probably caused already on Friday when I had some belly ache also. I was doing better and after my condition was stable enough I was able to see my daughter for the first time on wednesday. Later that day we were told that there was nothing the doctors could do for Chloë anymore. On
Thursday they would stop the treatment.

On Thursday 28th of July, Chloë stayed with us the whole day and we could even hold her in our arms. But at 19.00 h the respirator was stopped and at 21.00 h she passed away in my the arms of my husband…
We kept Chloë with us until Sunday, then she was brought to the mortuary. I was doing better and after in total of 4 days of intensive care and 3 days of medicare, I was transferred back to the hospital closer to home on Monday, were I stayed until Thursday.

Together with our family and friends, we said goodbye to our sweet little princess on Saturday the 6th of august when she is cremated.”

We’re so proud to be the mommy and daddy of Chloë, but it hurts we had to let her go after 3 days…
We were so looking forward to have a child to take care of. We love her, we miss her… But she will always be our little girl.

The scar that I have confronts me every day. It’s a negative memory, it reminds me extra that we have lost our baby girl. But it is also a positive memory, as I’m still alive and we have a daughter now, although she is an angel in heaven. Since that scar we are a mommy and daddy. We love you, Chloë. You are our little princess. ? ? ?

I even can’t remember how my belly looks like without the scar, this is now who I am and in a strange way it makes me also that I’m blessed.

It will mean a lot to me if my story will be part of the ‘The shape of a mother’ community.

My body eight months after my little miracle. (Jamie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

Age: 22
Number of Pregnancies/ Births: 1

I just turned 22, and have a beautiful 8 1/2 month baby girl. My pre pregnancy weight was 166lbs, I did great through the first 7 months of pregnancy only gaining 10lbs, then all of a sudden I was gaining a pound a day getting up to 214lbs!! I was scared to death of stretch marks, I already had very fragile self esteem. I started getting them one by one ,at 7 months, I cried after seeing each one form.

After my daughter’s birth I was grateful, she is my little ray of light. Even though I was so happy, I also was so depressed. I hated my body and myself. I didn’t want to eat, or get dressed in the morning, on top of that, I had to get over it quick because I had to go to work 2 weeks after I had my baby.

It was a slow process getting used to the new routine and being away from my pride and joy all day. (Not to mention having to dress in business attire)

I eventually got used to it, and lost all of my weight plus some. I bought the expensive stretch cream, and applied it religiously; my stretch marks faded some but my stomach never tightened up. Below are the pictures now 8 1/2 postpartum. I already lost 74lbs, have been doing pelvic tilts and trying to make my stomach look better. Will it ever be normal again? I know stretch marks fade but will my belly button ever be circle? Will my stomach ever not have wrinkles? I just need to know, what I am facing for full recovery.

Updated here.

Healing Scars (Brandi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Preemie, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

Brandi, 25, 2 pregnancies, 2 births, 3yo and 2mo

In 2005 I got married. It was a whirlwind romance and being 18 I was certain I was in love. He was kind, affectionate, everything you expect to find in your prince charming. We met in Febuary and were married in December. Less than 6 months later everything started going south. Before I knew it I was trapped in an abusive relationship. Every day was an onslaught of your ugly, your fat, your lazy, your stupid, and a neverending string of name calling. And when he would drink (3+ nights a week) it would get worse, turning physical on more than one occassion. I tried to leave but was brainwashed to think I couldn’t make it without him and that nobody else would want me. I was damaged goods. Four years later, when I did get the nerve to leave, weeks before I was going to skip town, I found out I was pregnant. The entire SIX months of pregnancy I was still under a gunfire of mental and verbal abuse. “Your lucky your pregnant or you would be going down the stairs”…not to mention the constant accuasions that the baby wasn’t his. During the pregnancy I got ONE stretchmark. On my tummy, to the right of my belly button. I cherished it. It was a constant reminder of my little one and the challenges we had to overcome. He was 12 weeks early, weighed 2lbs and was 15in long. 11 weeks in the NICU later he finaly came home. Best Christmas Eve of my life. My start weight was about 140 and at delivery I weighed 180. 6mo post partum and I still hadn’t lost the baby weight which was just fuel to the “fat lazy bitch” fire. 9mo pp an opportunity arose and I was finaly able to free myself (and our son) from his hold.

Just over a year ago, I met someone new. He is amazing. Good with my son, good to me, and all around good guy. And he doesn’t drink. At. All. 4mo into the relationship, I got pregnant. Wasn’t really an accident, but not planned either. I was terrified. After all the drama with my first being early, not losing the weight from him and topping it off with losing my job I didn’t know what would happen. But he has stuck thru. In September I gave birth 3 weeks early to a beautiful 9lb 2oz baby boy. I went from 180 to over 200lbs. My body has suffered horribly. I have stretchmarks on my breasts, my arms, my legs, and from belly button to butt crack on both sides. I feel horrible. I know it isn’t true but I can’t shake the thought that if I was unattractive (according to my ex) before, I can’t imagine how aweful I must look now. I’ve already lost the baby weight, but the skin is still there. My boyfriend tells me every day how beautiful I am, how he is still attracted to me, how smart I am…everything every woman wants to hear. But it just bounces off. I know it will never be the same as it was when I was 18 or even when I was 24. I’m slowly accepting my new body, and having a super supportive partner is helping. But is it a long process. I’m looking forward to the day when I can look at myself after a shower and say “I look good”

I HAte My Belly (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

I had my daughter almost a year ago, I have tried to do everything I can to get rid of the stretch marks and the flab HELP. anyone know any exercise, and i’ve used bio-oil it seems to do the trick. before i got pregnant i weighed 97.9 and then after i was at 158, and now i am to 115 but STILL have a gut! HELP!! I am only 20 should feel and look beautiful.

Question (Jilliann)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 5 Comments

Hi my name is Jilliann and I’m a mother of 7.All my kids were born by c-section.They were all pretty small.My biggest was 7lbs 1oz.When i got pregnant the last time i found out i was having twins(boys)I got really big with themNow they are here and are 5 1/2 months old.And i still like look im about due to have another one.Everyone always asks and it makes me feel so bad..I just wanted to no how you did it.How you lost that look???

Thanks jilliann

Heres a pic.Its not the best one but u can see my belly.I took it today.

Love/Hate Relationship With My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 14 Comments

I was 18 when I got pregnant so being that young and still kind of dealing with the insecurities I had then didn’t help what was going to come along with pregnancy. I hadn’t started really gaining weight till about 5/6 months then I shot up in weight. My pre-pregnancy weight started at 150/155 I ended with a weight of 220… I will say having the father of my daughter gone all the time partying and being stuck alone with his family did not help but no excuse. We had a young and dumb relationship I caught him watching porn all the time so that didn’t help I knew it wasn’t my fault that he was the one with the problem but I just couldn’t help but to think I’m disgusting/fat/saggy/with stretch marks everywhere.

It’s been 1 1/2 yrs. since we split up but I still hate me. My friends and family say I look great but they are just friends and family they wouldn’t tell me what I really looked like(in my head) I am down to 174 with only 20 pounds to go to loose. I have done all the diets no eating..eating right/exercising/taking phentermine/liquid diet..Nothing makes me feel better. I am currently engaged to the most amazing God loving man I had longed for the past 6 years. He is amazing to not only me but most importantly my daughter! He says all the time how much he loves my body..That it’s beautiful and sexy mainly because of what I see as flaws. He says my body is a woman’s body that brought a beautiful little girl into to the world and that everything about it is perfect. WHY CANT I BELIEVE HIM????????? I love myself to an extent..but I feel such shame a selfishness because I know my body did something amazing and while that something amazing is laying on the floor in front of me playing with her barbies, so perfect, beautiful, loving and everything else a mom feels for their child I can’t help but to look at my sagging/stretch marks with extreme disgust…I feel ashamed in myself for even being so negative..

So with all that being said this website is AMAZING!! Y’all are an inspiration and completely beautiful! I don’t look at any of these pictures or stories how I look at myself..I see all of yall as beauty queens with “an amazing woman’s body”(like my fiancé tells me) Thank you all for sharing!!

God Bless!!!!!

Pregnancies: 1
Age: 24
Daughters Age: 5(6 in December!!! =D )

My Body and I (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

Age 24
2 children ages 7 and 3
One natural (no drugs! Woot!)
One emergency c-section

I have always had body issues. Thanks to my mother’s ex boyfriend of 5 years I was led to believe I was grotesque. How naive I was. At 5’8 and 135 lbs I was perfect. I got pregnant with my son at 16. On my 16th birthday. Lol. Happy birthday to me! His daddy was (and is) my soul-mate. We were together a year and a half before I got pregnant and I got lucky enough to suck him in with a baby. ( kidding!!!) I gained around 70 lbs with him and delivered at 215. My son gave me these stretchmarks and loose skin. He also gave me more love than I knew what to do with! He is the light of my life. Full of joy and energy. He makes my heart smile. I had my daughter in Italy at the age of 20. Her daddy wanted to see the world, and took me on an adventure. I carried her well and, as a matter of fact, was asked if I was sure I was pregnant and not just gaining weight at 6 months! My daughter gave me a scar and an understanding of life. We died on the operating table, and we fought our way back together. She is my heart. Her sense of humor lights up my life everyday. I sometimes cry in vain over my body. I refuse to leave the lights on (unless there is wine involved! Lol) I will not wear a bikini, I compare myself to other moms. I stress about what my skin is going to look like when I’m done losing the extra pounds and I get angry at my belly and myself. I am down to 180 and scared of what my hanging flap will look like at 140(my goal) but ultimately I have made peace with my body. It gave me my children, and I thats worth every dimple and stretchmark.

3rd Pregnancy Ending in Miscarriage (Shannon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, Children with Health Complications, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 16 Comments

My last post.
Age: 26
Number of pregnancies: 2 carried to term, 1 miscarriage at 7 weeks
PP: 6 years, 3.5 years, miscarriage yesterday at 7 weeks
Image: about 5 weeks pregnant with 3rd baby that I just lost

I have posted here many times before. This was my third pregnancy, and I was so very excited. I found out when I was only 4 weeks along! Although my other 2 pregnancies were very welcome, this one was hoped for. With my first son I was only 19, not married, and terrified to tell my parents (it did not take long to get happy though!). My first son was born with a very rare syndrome and he passed away when he was only 19 months old. It was/is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I think of him and miss him every single day (it has been 4.5 years since he passed). I got pregnant with my second son only 3 months after Connor had passed away, so it was very difficult (again, it did not take long to get happy, and I knew it was what Connor wanted for his Father and I). This pregnancy, my third, was planned. I was so excited when I found out (I even jumped up and down). I am married, I did not JUST lose my son (not that I don’t miss him…just that it isn’t as fresh as it was when I got pregnant with my second), and this was planned. I will be graduating in the beginning of May from nursing school, and my due date was supposed to be June 6th, so the timing was perfect. I had planned it all out…I would get quite a few months home with the baby while applying for nursing jobs…it was perfect timing. Yesterday I went to the bathroom and saw some blood clots. I told my husband we had to go to the hospital. We brought Liam (our second child) to the sitter, and off we went. They did blood work and an ultrasound which basically confirmed that I was in fact pregnant, but no longer am. I was crushed, crying uncontrollably. When we got home from the hospital I was in extreme pain, felt like actual contractions. This morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, and passed my placenta. This is just horrible. I already loved that baby. I know it is different than losing my Connor, but to me, I just lost another baby. Although was only 7 weeks pregnant, it was my baby and I loved him/her.