Love/Hate Relationship With My Body (Anonymous)

I was 18 when I got pregnant so being that young and still kind of dealing with the insecurities I had then didn’t help what was going to come along with pregnancy. I hadn’t started really gaining weight till about 5/6 months then I shot up in weight. My pre-pregnancy weight started at 150/155 I ended with a weight of 220… I will say having the father of my daughter gone all the time partying and being stuck alone with his family did not help but no excuse. We had a young and dumb relationship I caught him watching porn all the time so that didn’t help I knew it wasn’t my fault that he was the one with the problem but I just couldn’t help but to think I’m disgusting/fat/saggy/with stretch marks everywhere.

It’s been 1 1/2 yrs. since we split up but I still hate me. My friends and family say I look great but they are just friends and family they wouldn’t tell me what I really looked like(in my head) I am down to 174 with only 20 pounds to go to loose. I have done all the diets no eating..eating right/exercising/taking phentermine/liquid diet..Nothing makes me feel better. I am currently engaged to the most amazing God loving man I had longed for the past 6 years. He is amazing to not only me but most importantly my daughter! He says all the time how much he loves my body..That it’s beautiful and sexy mainly because of what I see as flaws. He says my body is a woman’s body that brought a beautiful little girl into to the world and that everything about it is perfect. WHY CANT I BELIEVE HIM????????? I love myself to an extent..but I feel such shame a selfishness because I know my body did something amazing and while that something amazing is laying on the floor in front of me playing with her barbies, so perfect, beautiful, loving and everything else a mom feels for their child I can’t help but to look at my sagging/stretch marks with extreme disgust…I feel ashamed in myself for even being so negative..

So with all that being said this website is AMAZING!! Y’all are an inspiration and completely beautiful! I don’t look at any of these pictures or stories how I look at myself..I see all of yall as beauty queens with “an amazing woman’s body”(like my fiancé tells me) Thank you all for sharing!!

God Bless!!!!!

Pregnancies: 1
Age: 24
Daughters Age: 5(6 in December!!! =D )

14 thoughts on “Love/Hate Relationship With My Body (Anonymous)

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Wow! You look simply amazing. I am totally confused about what you don’t like about your body!? It looks amazing. You have great boobs, nice flat stomach and wow what a booty! Guys like women with a little more junk in the trunk! Trust me, I am a petite girl (also a mother) and have always a booty that was big for my body. Guys love it! Stay strong momma~

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 9:29 am

    No amount of diet and exercise is going to help if you cannot get out of your own way long enough to see what is really in the mirror. Sagging? Stretch marks? 20 extra pounds? I cannot see any of these things. I have no reason to lie to you. Accept the things your fiance tells you. Believe him. Ask yourself this: How would you feel if your little girl felt about herself the way you feel about yourself. You would be heartbroken. Be kind to yourself. There is no point in trying to achieve outward perfection if you hate yourself. Love yourself for just one day. Push away all the negativity for just one day. It will feel incredible. I just started doing this for myself and it feels so amazing. I am finally free. When you hate yourself it’s impossible to really commit to the things that will help us to be the best versions of ourselves – inside and out. I hated myself so much that I thought I didn’t deserve to do things that would make me feel good about my body like exercise and clothes that make me feel pretty. It’s so destructive. Listen to the people who love you and strangers like me who are telling you that you look great.

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 9:32 am

    I didn’t mean to sound like I thought your butt was big, just you have a curvy shape and I bet your bf loves it! Rock your wonderful body!

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    You are my twin, if I owned same pair of thongs I seriously would of thought somebody snapped these pictures of me. I agree with your man 110% you are gorgeous, sexy, beautiful womanly body. It is weird that in our 20’s we still want to have a body of a teenager. I have been there, it took some time to get out of that mentality. And now I feel like a sexy beautiful mama, hopefully you can start feeling the same. Life is too precious to waste time feeling down and criticizing our bodies. May I suggest you implement the “equal time rule”? For every negative thought or word about your body you have to find a positive one. Hope this helps:) Blessings,

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    You have a amazing body..Aree you sure you weigh 174??? There is Nooo way!! How tall are you? I’m 22, have a ten month old, 5’7 and weigh 151 and don’t look anything close to you. You have a great bod, show it off!!! You are beautiful!!

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    You look awesome, lady! What a teensy little waist and lovely curves!

  • Monday, October 29, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    I would kill to have your body. My body was like yours is now before I had a baby, except I was a little more toned in the tummy area.

    You’re soooo lucky to be able to not have to deal with excess skin.

  • Tuesday, October 30, 2012 at 11:43 am

    The reason you don’t believe it is that you are used to seeing fake bodies in the media and are comparing yourself to that fakeness. Your breasts aren’t sagging, *theirs* are artificially perky. And women are *supposed* to have fat stores on their body is places other than their breasts.

    If you are normal and healthy (although if you keep dieting you will not remain so) and if your boyfriend loves you and is attracted to you, whose purpose does it serve for you to keep obsessing about your supposed “ugliness”? Not yours, obviously. Not your boyfriend’s. But it’s someone’s to be sure, because if you lived alone on a desert island you wouldn’t be worrying about it. So the question is: Why are you valuing the interests of others over yours and your boyfriend’s? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you’ve been duped and brainwashed. But now that you know that, you can choose reason. And reason says that you are perfect just as you are, and that there’s no good reason you shouldn’t take pleasure in being so.

  • Wednesday, November 7, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    My goodness! Your body is BEAUTIFUL! Flat FLAT tummy, a gorgeous butt…do NOT feel insecure!

  • Thursday, November 8, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    YOU LOOK AMAZING- search me @blessed and tortured. It took me forever to get to the shape i am, and i STILL struggle daily with my appearance, it is mental it is within us and we need to mentally prepare rather than physically. Bless you and your family.

  • Wednesday, November 28, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    You look great!

  • Sunday, December 30, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    Whoa.. that’s one heck of a figure.
    Seriously!! You look like a perfect hourglass, such a tiny waist!!

  • Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 4:21 am

    I understand. Everyone is saying you look amazing and you do. People say the same thing to me, but I’m young and I feel like since having babies I have such saggy boobs. My body makes me feel older less attractive. I look much like you without the big boobs. Its hard to stay positive. You do look fantastic though. Its hard when we are bombarded with images of how we should look. I actually didn’t realise until I came across an episode of embarrassing bodies recently were a woman wanted a breast lift. They looked just like mine. It made me cry, should I be embarrassed and now I wonder what my husband thinks really. Its becoming an obsession. Keep up the good work because I’m sure you will get there, its nice knowing we are not alone. You are lucky to have found a wonderful man who loves you no matter what. Thats what matters.

  • Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 11:37 am

    thank all of yall so very much…i still am batteling to see what yall see…but im working on my **husband** and i (yes we got married!!!) are expecting a ten weeks tomorrow. so ill be posting on here again for support (and a goal to not hate my body) of all you fellow moms/beauty queens!! =)

    sarah/linda yall are sucks sometimes..i know that it is what it is but i mean lets filter a little yano..and it seems to only get worse :/

    and to the other sara at the top..thank you..your words put a lot in perspective i would never ever want my daughter to feel this way!

    yall are a blessing!! thank you!! =’)

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