First Pregnancy

Feeling Happy With My Post-Baby Bod (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

22 years old, one pregnancy and one birth via emergency c section.
6 week old baby boy :)

This is just a short story of my birth as the pictures I want women to see then to show how a real 22 year old average body is and no one is perfect so just enjoy your baby and be happy!

I went into hospital because I was 10 days over and my body just wouldn’t go into labour, I had over ten membrane sweeps and three gels put in.. I only dilated half a centimetre by that point.. On the 14 day overdue I was took down to the labour ward and put on the drip I was in labour for 15 hours the highest dosage until I finally had my last check and I had only dilated 2cm I literally felt like he’d never ever come out I just knew I would need a c section so I agreed to get the epidural and a few hours later was wheeled down to the theatre for my emergency c section.. 11.30am on 13.12.2012 my little boy was born!

The day after his birth I was able to get up and have a shower.. My first glance at my body after having a baby took out scared me but I took a peek.. Omg I still looked 9 months pregnant!

I’m glad my belly has sort of gone back to normal I’m still in the same sized clothes I’ve always been in but I just have a over hang which I hate I can’t wait to exercise as my weight loss is just breastfeeding and I’ve stuffed myself on choccy because its Christmas time!

I just want women to know, love your body your stretch marks.. Every girl has them even without a baby!

The first picture is me 16 weeks pregnant as I didn’t have one of my belly not pregnant! The second is me 41 weeks pregnant, the third is 2 weeks after my c section, the fourth is me 4 weeks after and the fifth is me today 6 weeks post c section! xx

Mommy Belly (Brittany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

I had my son on November 4th 2009. I love him to death but I am so depressed over what has happened to my stomach. I was underweight when I got pregnant. At 19 and 5’5 I was 119. For Atleast the last year I have been stuck at 127-133. I just can’t seem to shake of this extra weight and skin and it makes me want to cry everyday. I can look skinny in a shirt but when sitting or bendig over I get the rolls and I can’t stand it.now I’m sure you think that someone who hates their body would workout. Well I don’t so I hope that is my only down fall. I cut out as much sugar as possible (besides sweetener in my coffee every couple days or the occasional treat) and I started speed walking/jogging Atleast 30 minutes a day but no change yet. I tried doing insanity for a week over the summer but it was too insanely (haha) hot in California for such activities if you don’t want to blast the Ac. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man and even though he says he thinks I’m perfect I can’t help but feel even worse about my body because I think he deserves someone with a flat stomach that doesn’t sag when I do anything but stand or lay down :(

Hi, my name is Bump and for nine months it’s all about me! (Alinka)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

Hi, my name is Bump and for 9 months it’s all about me!

I am a mystery (well not for your gynecologist, but still). I am where the miracle of life starts (really that would be my neighbour the
fallopian tube but let’s not get into details now). I am where you’ve all spent 9 months before you came to this world. No wonder I attract so much attention.

In week 13 you still couldn’t see me but I know that I was loved. I was talked to, touched and screened during check-ups. In week 18 I
bounced a little for the very first time – my guest punched faintly against my walls and I knew I brought loads of excitement. That
however was only the warm-up to what then became a regular kick-box training against my walls. That little thing inside sure was a lively one!

In week 23 I still wasn’t attracting any attention and when I went for the ultrasound appointment (I was traveling so the doctor didn’t know me), the nurse was surprised that there was a guest inside me! That’s how big I was.

In week 25 I could still fit into my skinny jeans, as in week 26 (beginning of the third trimester) and week 27. But that was it. Week
28 was when I hit the skinny jeans limit. Still, the shop assistants failed to notice that I had a little guest inside me when I was clothes shopping and nobody ever offered me a seat. But I felt fit and fabulous and the whole body did gain the recommended weight.

Week 30 was the first time a stranger noticed me. I was waiting in line to get a gelato and a little girl whispered to her friend: “look!
There’s a pregnant lady!”. Since then people started noticing.

The whole body gained 11 kg from the beginning to week 29 after which it lost 2kg by week 32! But if you look at the pictures you can see me growing – I was however still the smallest one in my prenatal class.

At the end of week 36 I already started feeling my guest descend. I started feeling my first (painless) contractions in week 37.

I reached 40 weeks and baby girl was still inside! I went into labor on a full moon. The creature I was hosting for 9 months swam out of me clean, beautiful and blissful making me vanish. One week after giving birth the body already lost 7 kg out of the 10 kg it gained during my pregnancy!

After I vanished the brain came up with a book about the whole thing. There are twenty bumps describing their adventures from conception, the great and icky about pregnancy, and the end, which was another beginning. They even named the book after me. It’s called “Bumptabulous”. And it’s a tribute to all bumps and those carrying us.

So Depressed About My Postpartum Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 44 Comments

I got pregnant at 20 years old/ After a string of terrible luck i began working at a bikini bar. I hated every second of it. Hated the way people acted and hated getting judged all day, and treated like a piece of meat. I felt like at the time, i had no choice, the money was good and I had no other way to pay the bills. One night, me and a couple other dancers had gone to the MMA fights. Afterwards we went to one of the fighters houses for the after party. Thats where I met my babys father. He was one of the fighters and it was at his house. i gave him my number and we started hanging out. I eventually moved in with him and we started dating. After being there about 6 months I discovered I was pregnant. This was a huge shock since I had been on birth control and made him use condoms every time, just in case. Well, apparently both failed. I quit the bar when i got pregnant. Things went downhill fast from there. He started using. (or i guess just stopped hiding the fact that he had been all along, he knew I hated any and all drugs and apparently just stopped caring). He would also do other stupid things, like one time leaving me and his 5 year old son home in a blizzard with no heat because he had decided partying all night at the bar was more important than getting propane, so i had to take his son with me to a friends house to stay so he wouldnt freeze. After I found out he was cheating on me I quit trying to make things work. (i hated the idea that my daughter would never know her father, but decided she was better off without someone like that). I moved out, and went back to my parents house. Broke the news to them that I was pregnant, and basically sunk into a depression about how crap my life had turned out. 9 months of feeling awful, sick all the time, anemia, heartburn, etc, I had all the pregnancy problems. Around 3 months I was working again at a Dairy Queen and saving money to buy everything I would be needing. The father texted me maybe twice my entire pregnancy. He couldnt care less what happened to her. Finally at 41w I went into labor. after 23 drug-free hours and a completely natural labor, complete with lots of screaming and crying lol, i delivered my 7lb9oz baby girl.

I did tear so recovery was pretty hard for me. I am now 7 weeks postpartum. I love my daughter but I really miss what could have been/what my life was before. I hate that I didnt actually get to celebrate my 21st birthday or even since then.. I miss going out with friends, even to simple things like movies or dinner. I miss taking a nap because im tired, or falling asleep at night whenever i want and sleeping till im refreshed. I miss having free time, I feel like my freedom is totally over, I have barely lived and lifes over. And i despise my body. I never have had a good face, i guess im wat you would call a butterface. the way i saw it, my body was all i had it better be awesome. While i was dancing i was in the best shape of my life, its an unbelievable workout. But now, my belly is gross and fat with extra skin, my breasts are covered in stretchmarks and look like deflated tube socks ( I think thats the worst part, I could deal with everything else, my belly will tighten more I hope, but my breasts are a lost cause), my butt looks like a tiger grabbed it, and my hips got so big none of my jeans fit anymore. I was 110 when I got pregnant and 135 when I delivered. I am now 112 and nothing fits. Its so depressing, I feel like I am only 21, I do not want to have the body of an old woman. I miss everything about my old life. Even the crappy things. I would never want anything bad to happen to Emma, but I do wish I had had her when I was older, and had gotten to do more before being strapped down for the rest of my life..i know that sounds selfish. I am hoping as time goes on and she starts sleeping through the night and being awake without screaming, and not being attached to my boob 24 hours a day. Which, after 7 weeks of exclusively breast feeding, still hurts. Lactation consultant says shes latching perfect and basically nothings wrong so she cant help. She says “shes just a strong sucker”, so i guess im doomed to pain until I wean her. Anyway, hopefully soon things will smooth out and I wont feel so much like I do now. I just got a new job as a server in a nice restaurant so maybe getting out of the house will be good for me. I know I need the money.

Thanks for reading and for all the inspirational stories and words that you guys post on here. It helps to know Im not alone. I have been reading this site since I got pregnant.

Pictures are
1. pre-baby belly, which I used to complain about back then, now I would kill to have it back…
2. 41 Weeks – this was a couple of days before I went into labor.
3. Pre-pregnancy breasts, terrible picture, but this is the only one I have of them before. They were never big (barely a B, and I used to hate that, but now id do anything to get them back, at least they were perky..
4. Postpartum breasts (nipples are nasty and huge, and boobs are just saggy, deflated, tube sock looking things. I hate them so much. Plus theyre covered in stretch marks, you cant really see them in the pic.) and ruined belly button. So stretched out my navel ring almost falls through, not really sure whats stopping it.
5. When i lift my arms they arent even round they look disgusting.
6. side view
7. my daughter and what I call her “omg” face lol

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks

A Mother’s Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Previous post here.

21 year old mother of a 1 year old boy

It’s funny what a few months can do to you. I wrote a second entry about my body and the sadness and disappointed that I felt at the fact that I did not lose the weight like everyone had assured me I would, and did not feel confident and sexy as I once did before becoming a mother. 5 months after writing that entry, I’m writing this one.

My son will be turning 1 in just over a week and I’ve realized that I don’t stop and stare at myself after showers, I don’t hide under the covers when my husband and I make love, and I don’t care about changing how I look. I’m finally okay with me, just the way I am.
I was lucky enough to go through such a life change as pregnancy and parenting with someone so accepting and loving. He hasn’t changed a single thing about how he adores and reacts to my body and I can tell he appreciates my body more now for bringing his son into our lives.

I look at my son everyday and wonder how I would have been so sad in the first few months about how I looked, when it was all so worth it. Why was I so focused on something so irrelevant when I had a gorgeous child in front of me, something the doctors said I would never have. I’m not saying accepting the changes of your body is easy, and I perfectly understand that my body could look much different and be much harder to accept, but I think the reason I accepted it was because I stopped judging it. It doesn’t matter how I looked before getting pregnant and when I finally stopped making that comparison I realized that this body I have now may be different, but it’s not unattractive. It’s the body of a mother, and that is a beautiful thing in so many ways.

First photo is just a month before conceiving, in a size 2, Second photo is at 41 weeks pregnant, Third to Sixth photo are of my body as I am now, just a week shy of 1 year postpartum, Seventh photo is the only time I dared to wear a bikini after the birth of my son and the very last photo is my beautiful and healthy little boy, the thing that made it all worth it!

This will be my second and final entry but I will continue to read every submission. I’m so amazed at the strength everyone has just to post the change in their bodies, whether minimal or not. It’s truly played a big part in the acceptance of my body in this journey as a mother! Thank you.

First Pregnancy by Cesarean (Tsvetelina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 5 Comments

Hi there. My name is Tsvetelina fit the 23 from Bulgaria. My English is not very good, but I hope you understand what I write. 4 months ago I gave birth to baby girl – Anna. 3.200 kg, 50 cm Pregnancy passed me slightly, the first two months my slightly sick , after 7 months began acids. My term was for July 28, 2012.It’s been two days and my doctor decided to put me in the hospital to induce labor. In the evening I look at ultrasound. It was a normal birth. In the evening the doctor saw that the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby and that I am prepared for cesarean delivery. It all happened very quickly. I was very scared. But Anna was born 30/06/2012. I was in the hospital six days. I restored quickly from surgery. Everything is fine now except the abdomen does not want to go. It saddens me. I have stretch marks on the side of love handles. My breasts hung than breastfeeding. I give a milk of me – 40 days and stopped my milk because Anna is eyelid ptosis, and I was very worried. At 2 months of Anna navel operate as it turned out that there granuloma navel. From these concerns stopped my milk. Now Agim calm, do crunches to get my belly. Before I got pregnant I weighed 50 kg. I gained 17 kilograms. At the hospital I lost 6 kg. and for four months I lost 4 kg. I have not trained anything. Now I weigh 57 kg. I hope to get my weight soon.

The first two pictures are from 22/11
Picture with the big belly is 22/07/2012
Photo by Annie is 13/11/2012
The photo of the sea in the summer of 2011

Light at the End of the Tunnel (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

Age: 19
Number of Pregnancies: 1
11 months PP

I got pregnant when I was 18 years old, wasn’t planned but welcoming my son into the world was the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Pre-pregnancy I weighed 150, and I am 5’10. I ate alot of junk food when I was pregnant and didn’t really consider it being difficult to lose the weight afterwards. As my ninth month of being pregnant approached I realized what a huge blob I was, I weighed 215. My son was born in December 2011 and is the sweetest little boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. My body definitely didn’t bounce back, I currently weight 186. I’m too tired and exhausted being a single mom that I don’t have the energy to work out. Being pregnant also gave me the biggest sweet tooth and has yet to go away. All in all, 11 months later, I am embracing my curves and mommy body, and still have high hopes that I’ll be able to loose my tummy pooch!

First Picture: 11 months PP
Second Picture: 11 months PP
Third Picture: My little bundle of joy !

I think my body is holding a grudge against me (bcortez)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, First Pregnancy, PCOS, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

Age:25
Number of pregnancies: 1
Number of births: 1
Age of children: 2 years old

I love being a woman. I love being a mother. I love being a wife. I don’t love my body. I love me, but I feel like my inner self is cursed with this failed promise of what my body is supposed to be. True maybe I’ve seen too much TV with women’s goal to be thin, but I don’t want to be thin I’ve always wanted to be curvy and sexy, shaped like a sexy adult woman. Biology shapes women as it does for the purpose of survival, carrying pregnancies, nursing babies, and to continue procreation. So all media influences aside, I believe women are able and should be able to have a sexy shape after having children,because nature had to have a way for mothers to have more than one child and not be seen as unsuitible for mating after one birth. I’m not talking about stretch marks or breasts not being as perky or an extra 10 pounds,so I guess I should tell my story.

I have always carried extra fat on my belly, but I could suck it in and look close enough to what I wanted. I still did spend majority of my teen years trying to lose weight and I was overweight by the time I was 18. I developed breasts in 7th grade age 12, by 9th grade I was a c cup. I liked the size but I never felt they were perky I honestly think they grew in saggy, not my biggest gripe because bras work wonders. I wanted to breast feed my children. I felt like 1 positive was I had big breast, 1 negative was they were saggy, to be more precise my areola is big and low my nipples point down I can hold pencils and other things under my breast but if I could just move my areola I wouldn’t feel so bad about it. When my baby was born she was tongue tied and couldn’t latch on, so I pumped for 6 months and no supplements and she did wonderfully. I wanted to have her on breast milk for the first year but around month 5 I kept getting sinus infections and in
my sickness pumped less and was so tired and worn I was producing less milk and I stopped pumping. Interestingly enough I never had any issues stopping pumping never felt engorged or pain. So even though I feel I have the breast of a middle aged woman they feed my daughter so at least they did their job! Hopefully when I have more children I can actually breast feed and go to a year.
I am African American, I have a mixed heritage, I am married to a Latino man and all I want for Christmas is some hips and butt. My husband is awesome and he tells me I’m sexy and doesn’t make me feel bad. Growing up all I wanted was to be able to feel beautiful and wanted and sexy and womanly without feeling ashamed. I had skin rashes and discolorations as a child and I was not overweight but like 10 pounds away for it so I wasn’t comfortable. I felt very ordinary, as a teen I was happy to have breast but I continued to wait for my hips and butt to develop and it never did. I was a size 12 by the end of high school but no real curves. Then during college I found out I have hypothyroidism and pcos, I did concieve naturally without really trying( I was depressed about pcos and the infertility part and stopped taking birth control) I lost 30 pounds and 6 months after being of birth control was pregnant. I weighed 235 when I had my daughter, emergency c
section, very depressed about that. Pumped breast ilk for 6 months no real weightless because milk supply would suffer. Stopped nursing still no change. I did drop 18 pounds a few months ago but I scale has broken and I probley gained some back. Currently I am around 218, size 14. I carry a lot of that fat in my belly none in my butt. My husband and I are ready to add another baby to the family but I still haven’t lost all my pregnancy weight and since I have pcos I probley can’t get pregnant as this weight even though other people bigger than me can, when I was diagnosed I was 215 and my testosterone was too high for ovulation. I feel angry I feel let down I feel like I inherited the worst genes in my family. I didn’t snap back after pregnancy, I nursed for 6 months and didn’t use and stored up fat I carry fat on my belly not hips or butt which is not only unattractive it’s a warning of all sorts of health issues to come. I have fertility issues at 25
and I supposed to be able to raise my daughter to be so much better than me but somehow I have to keep all this anger and unhappiness to myself. I don’t want my daughter to feel like I feel I don’t want her to have my health issues.
I was upset one day and I wrote a letter to myself and it was so sad. In summary the letter said, “why are you so fat, other people have babies and are not fat, why aren’t you pregnant yet other people can be fat and get pregnant , why don’t you love me. ”
I know I am judging myself harshly but I feel like I may never have a yound hot body that youth gives. My mother my sister my grandmother my aunt all were thin and no weight issues till after pregnancies or older age has set in, I have always been on the bigger side but not even with any curves to show for it. I’ve always had to watch what I eat my sister only recently has gained weight in unwanted places.

I don’t drink alcohol much maybe once a month but I’ve never even been drunk I don’t smoke I can be active and am fairly strong but I’m plagued my issues my peers who drink smoke eat whatever that want don’t have I know their actions will catch up to them eventually but what have I done to make my body behave this way . I have no choice but to keep trying but deep down I really think my body really hates me and is stubborn and as no intention of changing . When I did lose 30 pounds I only ate ceral skim milk baked chicken and salad only water to drink. I can’t go that extreme because my toddler and husband have to have other food. Woe is I

I heard, but never imagined it would be like this. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 19 Comments

Age: 27
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancies and 1 births
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months postpratum

First of all, I´m not from english speaking country, so my english isn’t very good, nevertheless I try to write my story and i hope it will be readable. Me and my husband decided that we want a baby and started trying, it took a while, but finally i was pregnant. I was unbelievably happy about that. I was decided to enjoy every single day of my pregnancy, but… . First 5 months i didn’t look pregnant, but i gained some weight so I looked just fat. Finally at 5 months i looked pregnant. I was jogging (I love that sport really much) during 7 months of my pregnancy and later I took a walk almost every day. I felt pretty and cute, until my co-worker told my that i look really puffy and that i have really big belly. Later doctor asked me if I’m pregnant with twins. I cried that day. It finally hit me. I´m not cute nor pretty i´m just huge. I felt like I am some weirdo, who doesn’t look like supposed to. I tried to cope with that feeling. I told myself, that I was not weird, that I was just myself, maybe different from other pregnant women, but beautiful, but then I got a terrible stretch marks over my belly, breast, hips and legs. It was shock for me. I didn’t expect them, since my mother never had any of them. I tried cope with this too, but without success. I hate them. Sometimes is hard for me even look in the mirror.

All my life i feel like i`m not good enough. Not good enough as a daughter, not good enough as a student, not good enough as teacher, not good enough even as a woman and of course not enough like mom and wife. Me and my baby-boy had a hard time at the beginning. We needed to stay longer at hospital. It was really hard. In our country in hospital mum and baby aren’t together all time. They took my baby-boy every night and also in some hours during day. Now I know I should never let them do it and would fought more for time with my son. I`m so sad when i imagine my son crying somewhere in a hospital crib without me. I blame myself for that. After we got home i tried to be a good mum. But my son didn’t gain a weight during first month. I was determined not to give up on breastfeeding, and we made it. I`m breastfeeding and my son weights as he is supposed to. jupi!!! I was so focused on my baby and trying to be a good mum, that me and my husband didn’t spent much time together. Also i had an episiotomy during labor so i needed more time to heal. We didn’t made love for almost 3 months. My husband was awesome during my pregnancy. He was always there for me with kind words about me and my body. After birth he told me that he loves my belly and stretch marks, because they gave him beautiful son. Whenever I needed to hear that i`m pretty he was there for me. I never felt pretty until i met him. He taught me to love myself a bit, but before 3 days i accidentally found out that he was watching photos of naked women in his cellphone on internet. I couldn’t believe it. I asked him when it started. It started during my pregnancy while he was away from me for work, but didn’t stop when we were together. I was so sad and mad. I`m sad and mad. I never looked like those women and never will. My saggy belly, stretch marks… i look so different from them. If he likes their bodies how he could like my devastated body? I`m feeling that i`m not longer good enough even for my husband whom i always counted on. I trust him no longer when he saying i`m beautiful, because obviously he needs to look at another naked women to feel good. I`m just not good enough. I think that my husband really loves me, and also I know he didn’t want to hurt me, I even understand why he was doing it but i feel hurt. I don`t know how to deal with it. Maybe is time for me to love myself no matter what and stop counting on somebody’s else opinion but i don`t know if i`m strong enough to do that.

Recovered/ing Anorexic and 36 Weeks Pregnant (May)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I am currently 24 years old and 36 weeks pregnant. I have struggled with self image my whole life, first started making myself sick after eating at age nine and advancing to anorexia around 14 years of age. I have been on the way to eating normally since I was 19 and in my own opinion doing quite well… regarding weight but my mind and feelings on my weight still needs lots of work.

My whole life I have wanted to be pregnant, I think some part of me believed I would love my body totally while pregnant because it would be ‘big’ for a reason other than me being ‘fat’. Since being pregnant I have realized that I may have misjudged my personal strength and also realized that people skip out on telling you many hardships of being pregnant.

Even though I have a wonderful loving partner who encourages me to feel beautiful and often times succeeds I can’t help but be terrified of what my body will look like after giving birth. Another reason I am afraid of my body after birth is because dieting and workouts have always been a struggle for me due to my history of eating disorders… It is very easy for me to get carried away with it and become unhealthy about it all. I have been lucky enough to avoid stretch marks on my belly (fingers crossed) but have gotten some on my breasts. I have also been lucky to have gained only a small amount of weight, going from 155lbs pre pregnancy to 170lbs currently.

So far I have found it very important to actively remove my fear in anyway I can and speaking to other mothers about my fears, of both motherhood and weight. This blog is a wonderful way to hear stories of women who have given life and to see how amazing their bodies and attitudes are, hopefully I can have such an amazing attitude about it all and can share my story later on.

Photo description:
~Me when I first met my partner, at my healthiest weight of 125lbs.
~Me the day after finding out I was pregnant. I had gained around 15lbs since I had first started dating my partner to when we got pregnant (happy weight I guess)
~Me feeling beautiful in my belly at 31 weeks.
~me last week.