First Pregnancy

A Happy Ending! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

Age:24
Pregnancies: 1
Births:1
1 year postpartum

My little girl just turned one a week ago. She is so beautiful, funny and smart. I can’t believe she is mine!

When I first got pregnant I had come to terms with the fact that my body would be ruined, based on family history. I would have a saggy belly, stretch marks, deflated breasts but I knew it would all be worth it.

During my pregnancy, my daughters father and I decided it wasn’t going to work out. That is when my fears returned. I gained 60 pounds while pregnant. I thought nobody would ever be attracted to me again. I was completely devastated about the whole situation. Once I had my little girl I really had no time to feel sorry for myself. She was extremely colic for the first 6 months and would only sleep cradled next to me while walking. So I walked and walked and walked….

A year later, my stretch marks have faded, I weigh 20 pounds less than before I got pregnant, I got my license, bought a van, I’ve met someone new and starting my dream job in 1 week. It’s amazing how things can change in a year. I’m so proud of myself and thank my lucky stars everyday.

A Child Having a Child (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

A child having a child

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies:1
Age of child:4

When I was a little girl,I used to love playing with my baby dolls. I would plan out my life by playing house everyday with my dolls. Perfect house,perfect job, and a perfect family. All I wanted was a perfect life like I would see on t.v. While I grew into my early teens I met the love of my life. Every min I spent with him I knew he was that one that I wanted to spend the perfect life I had always dreamt of. I used to lay in bed and just think how bad I wanted to start my family right away. As silly as it sounds I would think on how to ask my mom if I could of a baby. I always wanted to tell her it would be the only Christmas and birthday present I wanted.

At the age of 15 I found out that I failed the 9th grade for the second time. Not because I wasn’t smart but because I would skip to much school. I was in the process of dropping out.. Until I learned I was pregnant.

I got pregnant at age 16. I was scared. I didn’t know anything about having a baby. I was just a baby myself. I took that right path and stayed in school for my daughter. Since I achieved a lot in school I was allowed to graduate 1 year earlier then when I was suppose to. I continued my education in becoming a medical assistant. It was a rocky road to get where I am today but I made it. I now have the perfect job that I wanted. I married my high school sweetheart and now have our perfect family. There’s just one thing that I’m missing… My self confidence.

I had to grow up fast and make sacrifices for my new family. I couldn’t go out to the pools with my friends like I used to or go shopping because of the weight I gained. I cry every time I think about how skinny I used to be. Even tho my husband tells me how he loves for who I am and how I look but I don’t feel like myself hiding in this fat suit. Everyday I would love to just pull my zipper down and take off my suit but I can’t. I now live in this body forever.

I try to diet, I try to work out, and I try to make healthier choices but I give up to fast. i just sit back and say to myself” yeah right who are trying to fool you cant do this just give up already.”The girl in the mirror stands and laughs at me and tell me there is no hope. I wanna beat this girl and tell her shes wrong but it’s too late she already won.

My Story (Katyy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

It was January 2012 and I was ready, this was my year. New boyfriend who i absolutely adored, 18 this year! finally finishing year 12,the ball, leavers and a holiday to Bali, what more could go wrong…?

I was defiantly in love with Scott the first time we meet he managed to crash a car with me in it and we some how survived it rolled into a tree and yet I still stand here today so we both knew for a fact we were meant to be, surviving something like that!

Before I met Scott I had a few boyfriends but nothing serious, he was the one I would choose to give my virginity. Time went on and we grew so ever close and before you knew it we were as close as you could be. On January the 15th I received a somewhat horrifying facebook message that one of my best friends had committed suicide, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel or how I would cope without the girl who had kept me strong through all my problems. Yet did I know I hadn’t been through anything yet.
One night Scott took me to the most loveliest restaurant In perth it is rotating and you sit and eat a meal.I started to feel very queezy during my dinner, I hadn’t got my period yet I was little worried as I was a couple of days late and was always on time so decided to take one tomorrow morning. A pregnancy test.

I locked my self in the bathroom, and waited one line and then it seemed a second one was showing… I smacked myself in the head a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming…

“Scott” I screamed in a horrified voice and he knew straight away I ran out the door and down to the park he came running after me ” where’s a tree i can’t do this I need to be with Kim” he calmed me down and drove me to the beach. After talking and thinking we decided this was it, we made this mess and now we have to clean it up and do what is right. Once our parents knew they were furious, Scott mum having her first and 19 was devastated because she never ever wanted her kids to go through what she had too, my mum was just speechless.

I decided I would do this the hardest way possible because I deserved to be punished for what an idiot I had been.
I was going to walk around school until I was 8.5 months pregnant and graduate.

Everyday was a struggle I tell you that, having over 1000 kids staring at you all day and having no friends, it was hard all my friends didn’t want to know me and if they did it was to get gossip out of me. I was alone. But it was my fault because I pushed everyone away. I had a terrible pregnancy I gained over 30kg and vomited all day everyday. But school was good for me it made the pregnancy go fast and I was glad I accomplished it. At 38 weeks they wanted to induce me because they said baby was too big, I ended up leaving the next morning because bubs just wasn’t budging and I had been pushed too far she was even near my cervix!
But after being a week late a c section would be the answer,

At 8.49am on the 30th of October 2012 my precious bubby lily Kate Cornell entered the world a whopping 9.11p!! She was gorgeous, she was perfect and it had all been worth it.

About a month later it was time to graduate,
I walked up the stage with lily in my arms, grabbed my certificate and the applause and cheering nearly broke my heart, there were so many people out there who were proud of me, it felt amazing. I had done my job. It was time to be a mum.
The past year of my life is been nothing what I thought it would be, I am a changed person and i believe I am a fabulous mum because I will do anything and everything for lily I will give her my last cent.

I believe in taking what life throws at you and making the absolute best of it because if you can’t enjoy life what is the point,
Today I wake up to a gorgeous daughter and my wonderful boyfriend,

Honestly I can’t believe it, but hey what’s the fun in a predictable life???
K xoxo

Upset With My Postpartum Body 10 Months In (Sara)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 19 Comments

I had my first child 10 months ago at the age of 21. Before I had him I just started getting into the best shape of my life (the healthy way) I started off at 165 and had gotten down to 158 and 1 week after getting down to 158 I found out I was pregnant. I always disliked my body and hated the way I looked naked but since having my child I really hate the way I look. I look at myself naked and cant stand to see myself. Everything and anything I put myself in I feel makes me look gross and all my flaws (except the stretch marks) are exposed. My boyfriend of 7 years always tells me how beautiful I look and how great I’m doing with my exercise ( 8 months postpartum I was 168 and now 10 months postpartum I weigh 156) but each and everytime he tells me he thinks I’m beautiful I just can’t help but think he’s lying to me and just saying things to make me happy. Not only do I feel he is not sincere(when he is) I feel like he thinks every other girl is prettier than me and wishes I looked like them (especially the victoria secret models) and it may just be me comparing myself to woman who have had babies ( celebs) 5 months ago and already look like they have never had a kid or even to the girls my age who are “perfect” but I really can’t stand to see my body. Having my wonderful, beautiful son has made me hate myself. I know looks aren’t everything but right now all I care about is my looks and looking great naked or even… in clothes. I hate the little “lip” under my stomach( ive always had it but since having my son it’s gotten worse) basically I hate almost EVERYTHING on my body. And I have no idea how my boyfriend would want anything to do with my body.
These are all postpartum pictures of the body parts I hate the most and just a pictures of my lil man at 4 months old :)

Seeing the Beauty in My Body (Joanna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Your Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

I got pregnant when I was 21 years old. Not a teen mother, but still young enough to get the occasional stare. My pregnancy was perfect as far as the doctors said, however, psychologically I was a wreck. I have never been a skinny girl, but I was never “overweight” either. But I was absolutely terrified of gaining weight. Every single pound I gained felt like a dagger. I dreaded hopping up on the scale at my weekly OBGYN appointments. I even ended up counting calories, and refused to eat anything besides salad, toast, and the occasional bowl of cereal. I still managed to gain 45 pounds. I came across this site when I googled “pregnant and depressed about weight gain”, and to be honest, it terrified me even more. Seeing what women look like post-partum just made me feel worse. For some reason, I felt like my body defined who I was. I ended up getting my first stretch marks around 28 weeks. Again, I was stressing and obsessing over my appearance. I felt horrible. I refused to look in a mirror and would even tell my boyfriend to “shut up” when he tried to call me beautiful.

I gave birth to my daughter at 39 weeks and 3 days on December 18th, 2012. She was 7 pounds 15 ounces and absolutely beautiful. However, I didn’t get the immediate bond that I constantly heard mothers talk about. I was shell-shocked. I went from being a 21 year old girl to a mother in hours. I couldn’t take it all in. I remember spending my first night in the hospital crying because I was terrified of this little human being that I was now responsible for. I didn’t change a single diaper during my stay at the hospital, didn’t give her a bath, didn’t cuddle with her. I would simply breastfeed her and hand her to visitors or her father. My brain wasn’t able to process what was happening. The day we came home from the hospital I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I was in pure survival-mode (for myself AND my daughter), and I ended up losing 25 pounds in 2 weeks because I was so depressed and STILL in shock that I would literally forget to eat. I was slowly slipping into postpartum depression. Add hormones and sleep deprivation to the mix and I was a wreck. I cried every chance I got. I felt as if my life was over. My stomach was saggy and loose and covered with stretch marks. I felt disgusting

It wasn’t until my daughter was about 2 months old that I began to feel better. She became more interactive, she started smiling when she saw me, and I fell in love. My body was slowly turning back to normal. I remember hearing women say that once your baby’s born you won’t care about the stretch marks as much. I understand what they meant now. These marks represent everything I went through and my own personal battles. They represent the love I have for my daughter. They represent everything a mother is about. Sacrificing (in this case, your body and beauty) for your children. Looking back at my pregnancy, I really wish I enjoyed it more. I now realize there are few things more beautiful than a pregnant woman and a mother. You are carrying and growing a LIFE inside of you. What can possibly be more beautiful than that?

I have a new-found respect for mothers. All mothers. Single, married, young, and old. You are absolutely amazing. You are beautiful in my eyes. If you’re worried about your stretch marks, just remember what they stand for. If you are worried they will make you less attractive to your significant other, don’t be. If he/she truly loves you, they will see the beauty in them. If you’re pregnant right now and feeling ugly, fat, or unattractive, just remember that you’re doing something amazing. You have life inside of you.

I just want to end this by saying that whether you’re pregnant or you’re in the postpartum stage, embrace your body and appreciate it for bringing life into this world. You are beautiful. We are all beautiful.

The first photo is me before I got pregnant.
Second and third are me at 38 weeks pregnant.
Forth, fifth and sixth are me 3 months postpartum.
The last four are of my daughter

Sharing the Beautiful and the Ugly (Freckles)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 0 Comment

Hi, I am the owner of Freckles Fairy Chest and just uploaded these photos today. It seems to be a wonderful hit and I have been so grateful for the wonderful feedback on my story. I often model my creations and decided that it was best to leave my body the way it is for all to see. I just turned 28, and have one girl who is 17 months old.

Reposted with permission from Freckles Fairy Chest.

A couple of weeks ago, I got inspired to work on some floral fashion designs for Spring. I got the idea to cover an old bra with flowers and leaves, and make some hair clips and a necklace out of spring colored flowers. My husband got a ladder, stood above me laying on a green sheet (aka magic screen) and started taking some photos of me. About half way through, I took a peek and said, “Take them a little closer, because we are cropping out my stomach!” Every woman has a part of her body that she believes is ugly, or not quite what it once was. I am no different.

When I was pregnant with my baby fairy, Elora Avalene, I actually gained 60 pounds! Oh, believe me, I heard lectures from everyone including my mom and Doctor, (who was nice enough to say to me, “You gained six pounds in a WEEK?!” with her slender and beautiful figure). But I freaking love food! Throw in a pregnant appetite, and all that is left of your body are a million stretch marks and a sagging one pack. At least I am married now, so it doesn’t bother me as much as it would if I were single and trying to impress. haha. My husband couldn’t be more supportive, and always tells me how beautiful I am, no matter what. For goodness sake, the photo that bothers me most, he has titled “MywifeisfreakingHOT” as a jpg file name. One lucky fairy, right here!

So if I have all of that, why does my post baby body still bother me, as I sit here and look at photos from this recent shoot and want to crop away, and do photoshop plastic surgery on them? With all of these sayings and posts about embracing your body the way it is, why have I still not let it sink in? The answer seems simple, how many photos have you seen go viral with a pretty woman full of stretch marks? None that I know of, though I do recall the brave magazine cover some years ago with Jamie Lee Curtis showing off her middle aged body. I am not trying to pose nude or be controversial here, but I think it is time for me to be brave enough to stop cropping and using the “pucker” tool in photoshop. I don’t want to promote a kind of unrealistic view of beauty for moms out there.

So here I am, stretch marks, fat, pale skin, double chin and all. Radiating in my motherly glow for the world to see and criticize.

Read more and share here.

Update: Help!!! Bikini worthy or not? 13 Months PP Still with worried about tummy. (Jamie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 24 Comments

Age: 22
Number of Pregnancies/ Births: 1

Previous post here.

This is my second post to this website. I am now 13 Months PP. I hate to admit it but I am feeling worse than ever!!! I am up and down as far as staying optimistic about my body, I will go two maybe three weeks at a time thinking my stomach will start tightening up / looking better then I completely break down feeling like the ugliest person in the world. My husband booked us a trip to Hawaii in 4 weeks; and I am terrified that I am going to ruin the trip with my mood. After all it is a place where bikinis are kind of a must! I figured by now that my stomach would look good enough to wear a bikini. I am only 22! I shouldn’t feel like I am used up and old. I think at this point any improvements I see in my stomach, are only me getting used to my stomach rather than it actually looking better. I just need to know what my stomach looks like from another person’s perspective, I would feel horrible if I went out in a bikini and appauled people with my stomach. My husband gets upset when I cry or complain about my apperance and says that with time I will look better. I guess all I really want him to say is that I am beautiful and that it is all in my head. I asked him whether or not he thinks it would be acceptable for me to wear a two piece bathing suit and he kind of avoids the question. I just need some closure from someone else. So please someone honestly tell me their opinion.

That point aside, my husband and I are trying for another baby (so excited!!) I went to the OBGYN this month to figure out why it took so long last time to conceive; she diagnosed me with PCOS. I was told that it was as if my body has the throttle pushed and the brakes pushed at the same time so my body doesn’t really get anywhere when trying to drop an egg. Does anyone else have this? (I heard it is the most common cause for infertility) Any suggestions?

The picture where you can see the shirt is 8 months pp and the one where you cannot see my shirt is now at 13 months pp.

Thank you all for your support, It is so nice to have someone who has gone through the same things to talk to.

Light at the End of the Tunnel (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

Previous post here.

I wanted to post an update. In my previous entry, I was 3 weeks pp, and now I am 6 months pp. I still visit this site daily and find encouragement and inspiration in all of the stories written and shared. Every one on here is beautiful and each experience unique; that is what we all need to embrace and LOVE about ourselves. We all have gone through a common experience of carrying a child, but beyond that all of our stories are different. Some of struggle, some of pure bliss, some of uncertainty, some of pain, some of heartache, some of selflessness, some stories that make me want to reach through the computer and hug the original poster, etc… at the end of each story, however, is the same thing; we love our LO’s with all of our hearts, we couldn’t have imagined a love so strong and a dedication so deep beyond the needs of ourselves. We couldn’t imagine life another way…BUT we want our old bodies back!!! Even as much as we hated our bodies pre pregnancy, we wish we had that body of imperfection rather than this body we see today. Guess what. This body today performed a miracle (or maybe two or three, or more!!) and the new “imperfections” we are so quick to point out are those of which tell our unique story.

Trust me, this has been a very difficult concept for me to accept. I will be the first to admit I have spent countless hours searching the internet on mini tummy tucks, tummy tucks, total mommy makeovers, thermage, ItWorks body wraps, etc, etc, etc… but over the past two months I decided to make a change within myself. I started to eat better. I’m not on any fad diets and I definitely don’t deprive myself. But I make it a point to drink lots and lots of water every day. I am always a happier person when I am “fit” so I started a work out routine. Being a full time working mom of 2 and a student, this is difficult to squeeze in but I manage a 25 minute workout MOST mornings and it kicks my arse! Then on weekends I try and do a couple miles run. Other than that, no drastic changes. Even though I haven’t made big changes to my eating and I’ve only incorporated a tiny bit of exercise, I can see a big change in my body, my confidence is through the roof and I am a much happier mom and wife.

I used to look in the mirror in disgust. Most recently I noticed my boobs had shrunk in size and aren’t as perky as they once were. But when I have a good bra on I can sport a v-neck or low cut shirt with “cute/attractive” cleavage rather than the “in your face” cleavage I used to have. I think smaller boobs are more classy ;) And to be honest, I have always wished for smaller boobs. Recently I was thinking breast implants to regain the perkiness but now I look in the mirror and appreciate the softness of them. They seem so feminine and womanly. Maybe I’m having a good week and will have a moment down the line of wanting breast implants again. Either way, I am learning to accept the changes my body has gone through, and continues to go through pp and with age. Underneath it all, I am simply striving to just be a good and better person. That’s what matters most at the end of the day anyways.

So as we wake up each morning and pick apart our “flaws”, let’s do ourselves a favor and weasel in at least one positive compliment to ourselves to kick start our days. Maybe eventually that one compliment will turn into more and take over our self confidence and society as we see it today can kiss all of our butts when we flaunt our mommy bodies with pride!!

I may not be magazine perfect, but airbrush me and I’m damn near close ;) hahahahaha (that’s sarcasm but a sneak peak to what I tell myself to boost my confidence!) I’m far from where I want to be but I know I will get there. And in the meantime, I’m a good mom, a good wife, a good friend, a good sister, and a hard worker, among other things. I am more than my skin and appearances. And so are you. We aren’t perfect, nor will we ever be, but we are who we are and we need to love us. I want my daughters to love themselves the way that I love them, so I need to love myself the way that my mom loved me (she passed Nov. 2012 and the one thing that sticks in my brain every time I find myself dissecting my image in the mirror is her telling me “you have a nice figure, you always have and can wear anything you want because you always look cute”). I would never think less of my daughters if they sported the loose skin, stretchmarks or any other scars, so why do I think less of myself?

Here are some pictures of me 6 months pp.

From a good-looking girl to a zebra mom. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Hair Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 12 Comments

Hello ladies! First of all, my first language in not English so if I write something wrong please forgive me :)
I am 22 years old, got pregnant when I was 21. All in my life I was slim and good looking (thats what others said) 50kg, 162cm with long dark hair.

By the time I was 9 months pregnant I was 69kg… +19kg!!!
My pregnancy started with horrible morning sickness but other than that I was fine.
Except my hair… my hair started to dry out and fall out.
People told me it happens sometimes because baby takes everything of me.
I was a little bit sad because of my hair but I still didnt know thats just the last thing I have to worry about.
We found out we are having a baby girl , we were so excited and happy. I stopped working when I was 8 months pregnant.
My belly was beautiful and the skin was smooth and perfect even when I was 35 weeks…
People told me Im so lucky , I havent got any strech marks at all…
I always did care about my skin a lot, when I found out Im pregnant, I bought a bottle of strech mark oil from Boots straight away…
and I used it every single day. When I passed 35 weeks, my belly started to itch more and more every day.
One day I woke up with a few red and painful lines on my tummy.
And they just got bigger and bigger all around my hips, boobs, legs.
By the time I was 9 months pregnant, I couldnt even wear any top because my skin was so painful and itchy, it was horrible…
I gave a natural birth at week 41 to our gorgeous baby girl in the beggining of December 2012
She was 3.5kg and 51cm. We came home and the new life is started… :)
Everything was fine and my partner was so happy and proud… happy happy happy end…?
Not really…. I gave birth 3 months ago and I ve gone back from 69kg to 61 in december.. and I just put 4kg back on in the past 2 months so Im 65 again…
My skin just totally demaged, reminds me to a Zebra…My hair is still not growing and dry like a brush…. it puts me down so much I dont know how to accept myself. I keep saying this to people around me
and they all trying to cheer me up but thats never gonna help, I would do anything to get my skin back. I feel terrible , I would cry every single day If I would be on my own.
Im never gonna be confident and never gonna like the girl in the mirror again. It effects my love life as well because Im just hiding myselft constantly.
Im using BIO-OIL from the day I gave birth,dont think its gonna make a big difference but anyway… at least something…

By the way, I just want to say thank you for people who read my story and I wish all the best for all of you!
I hope we all gonna find the way to love ourself again.

Number of pregnancies and births: First Pregnancy

pre-pregnancy photo
photo-week 24.
photo-week 30.
photo- week 34.
photo-week 35.
photo-week 39.
and the last 3 photos are just now, 3 moths after the birth.

Trapped in Someone Else’s Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 24

I just had my first (and last) child on September. I had a scheduled c-section. He was 10lbs and 2oz when he was born. I am only 5’1” and before I got pregnant I was only 95lbs. The day I went into the hospital I was 149lbs!!!! Mostly, water and one giant baby, but still huge all the same. I really didn’t gain weight anywhere else except my stomach during my pregnancy and the skin was still stretched tight up til he was born. I didn’t really have many stretch marks either til the last month and they really made up for lost time. I lost almost all the weight without dietary change or exercise right off the bat and then just completely plateaued right after that initial loss. I breast fed for the first three months til I couldn’t anymore. I still don’t know what happened. I was overproducing and then it just stopped coming out creamy and in then needed amounts. My breasts seemed to immediately shrivel up right after that. I was always about a 32D and a full DD when I was breast feeding and now they are just these tiny droopy pancake boobs that make me cringe when I see them in the mirror. In fact, seeing any part of my naked body anymore legitimately makes my skin crawl. I feel like there is no hope for any kind of salvage to my body anymore and my stomach is just going to look like a leather handbag forever. Did I screw myself because I didn’t exercise from the beginning? Is there really any nonsurgical way I can get rid of this disgusting extra skin? I am usually hovering between 105 and 110, so not overweight I guess, but you couldn’t tell. I’ve been going to the gym when I can and doing five miles on the elliptical or 1 mile on the treadmill and it doesn’t seem to be making any difference. Even carrying around my now more than 20lb son doesn’t seem to help. My stomach is still saggy and sticking out further than my breasts. I am just morbidly depressed about the state of my body and go out of my way to avoid letting anyone see it because of my extreme embarrassment I know pregnancy changes your body, but no one else seems to be nearly this far gone. Anyway, any insight on any of this would be tremendously helpful. I seriously am just so lost and depressed and don’t know where to go from here.

Photo: Year before pregnancy/ 4 days before Cesarean/ 5 months postpartum.
Photo 2: Adrian. (3 months old)