Cesarean

Belly still swollen 4 and a half months postpartum (Jill)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 25 Comments

Age 34

Hi. My name is Jill and I am so glad I found this website. I gave birth July 24th to a 9 lb. 22 inch healthy baby boy via c-section. It was so hard that I am totally afraid to have another. I probably wont because of my age and because Im terrified to go through it again. Don’t get me wrong, I love my child and would never give him up… infact, I am slowly forgetting the pain. I am and has always been an exercise freak. I exercise about 5 times a week both cardio and weightlifting. As you can see in my pics though, my belly looks just the same as it did when I was about 5 months Prego. I did learn through this site about the problem that occurs when your stomach muscles separate and your belly pushes through. I really think I have this because I have lost all but 4 pounds of my weight but my belly is still like this… Yuck I hate it and am so self conscious over my body. I used to surf a lot and wear bathing suits at the beach but since then, I use a romper over my suit and never go in the water if there are more than 2 people at the beach, which includes myself and my baby! Has anyone gone through what I am and slowly lost their stomach? Will mine ever go flat? I have very minimal stretch marks considering how large my belly got. Please someone help…. I consider myself depressed…..

After 2 kids and 2 c-sections (Milia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 17 Comments

Age: 28
Pregnancy/live birth: 2 (both c-section)
How far long postpartum: 3 and half months
Age of kid(s) = 15 months; 3 and a half months
Weight gain during pregnancy: 35 lbs; 40 lbs

First, I would like to mention this site has helped me tremendously when I was at my lowest point. My first son was born via emergency c-section due to fetal distress. I remember the c-section recovery was easy and did not have much pain at all. Most likely I was in shocked to really know what was going on and the adrenaline spike has masked all the pain that people was always talking about when it comes to c-section recovery.

When my first son was barely 4 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. It was not planned and I was scared. I was scared what it would do to my body. 9 months later, my second son was born..again another c-section. This time it was a scheduled c-section. So I have back to back pregnancy, with back to back c-section in less than 22 months.

The first time around, I snapped back into shape very fast without doing anything different. Second time around, I wasn’t so lucky. I was depressed for many weeks following the birth, blaming my husband for everything. I cried for days..day and night and was unable to look at myself into the mirror. My husband thought I am still beautiful but I could not care less of what he said.. WHat matters is what I think.. I desperately want to feel beautiful again, I want all the loose skin, flabby belly to be gone.. I want to look good again. ANd all I was feeling was fat, unattractive monster that I truly believe I have become.

Before I was pregnant with my first son, I was 108 lbs at 5’4. And now, I am 122 lbs. I have beautiful body before, but I have never really appreciated it. I always thought I was fat and now only I wish I can go back in time and change what I thought of me. But I love my kids more than anything, but still deep down inside, I wish I can feel as beautiful as they both appear to me.

Here are my pics at 3 and half months post partum.

New Mommy to 10 day old twins!!!! (Katie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, NICU, Postpartum, Preemie, Submissions, Twins 16 Comments

I started reading this website when I first started getting stretch marks about 30 weeks into my pregnancy with my boy/girl twin pregnancy. I felt AWFUL about them. It consumed me so much I couldn’t even be excited about the pregnancy because every morning I woke up with more and more lines across my belly. I spent hour researching ways to get rid of them.

The day I gave birth to my babies changed my life forever. The second I saw that first little screaming face being lifted over the c section curtain I forgot about every stress in the world. My two little ones are my life now. My body will be scarred forever because of this pregnancy, but I would take any amount of body scarring to equal them being here and healthy. It’s not about me now, or having a good body. It’s about being healthy so that I can give nutrition to my babies and live a long life to always be there for them.

I attached some pictures of my belly at 10 days postpartum. I am still hoping the stretch marks fade – not gonna lie! But if they don’t it really doesn’t make a difference to me. My body is beautiful for the sole reason that it produced and nurishes the most beautiful and perfect babies in the world.

I hope that if anyone reads this while pregnant and stressed about your body changing to know that it’s all worth it. And you will know that the day your little one(s) come!

Also — I have lost a lot of the weight already due to breastfeeding (I gained 45lbs!! Down 35 so far). I would highly recommend it. Not only does your body go back to normal quicker (it burns cals and shrinks your uterus), but it’s so great nutritionally and for bonding.

There is also a pic of my little baby boy and my little baby girl! They were born at 34 wks 5 dys and he was 5’8lbs and she was 4’8lbs. Probably going to be leaving the NICU and going home with me before Xmas!!!! I love them so much I can’t wait!

~Your Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 10 days post partum

2 Children 13 months apart (Desiree)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 20
2 pregnancies, 2 C- sections
Cesarean birth
14 month old daughter
17 day old son

I had my first child, a girl on 10- 17- 2008. It was a long labor, and after pushing for 2 hours and high blood pressure, with a fever of 103 they took me into the OR for an emergency C section. Where I lost more then half my bodies volumn in blood. My Dr said I was lucky, and she had no idea why that happened. After I noticed what that C section did to my body. And it hurt to look in the mirror.. but I also gained 50 lbs with that pregnancy. Stretch marks everywhere, and now an ugly scar, and saggy belly pouch. 160 lbs, I would give anything to be 115 lbs again, well thats how I felt then.

Over the next couple months I came to terms with my new body, and I was fine walking around my house shirtless. (I was breastfeeding)
But getting pregnant just 4 months post partum really killed me. I didnt lose much weight. And I came into the next pregnancy at 157 lbs. I gaiend 20 lbs with my son, born 11-29-09.

Now at 17 days post partum, I notice my belly pouch is a little bigger then it once was. I have no new stretch marks, but still have the old. I really hate my body. It makes me a little sad. But Im ok with it. I have two beautiful children who I would gladly give anything for, even my once beautiful body. But I have lost all of the weight I gained with my son. I still ahve over 40 lbs to lose, and Im kind of terrified I will never see myself as beautiful again.

Ode To My Scar (Colleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Submissions, Update 29 Comments

I posted when I was 3 weeks postpartum about my feelings following a cesarean, and I wasn’t planning on posting again until I’d made some progress on my body, but I have had some thoughts that I would like to share (especially considering I’ve read several dissatisfied Cesarean mommy posts lately).

As much as I hated the necessity of a cesarean, I am somewhat fond of my scar. It’s very smooth (though still red), and aside from some numbness, doesn’t bother me at all—no stiffness or pulling. Sometimes I like to run my fingers over the smoother skin along the scar and remember the day I got it, the day I got to meet my sweet baby girl.

Anyhow, this is what I thought about: C-section scars are very unique. They are the only type of scar that is instantly recognizable (no other surgery causes an incision in the same place, same size, every person, every time). They are the only scar whose creation saved two lives instead of one. And they are a physical sign of a mother’s willingness to do anything for her children—even go under the knife.

A cesarean scar is a reminder that all of the planning in the world can’t make things go the way you want it to. It is a reminder that children will do what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. For those who avoided stretch marks, it can be a physical reminder of how your body sheltered and grew a baby all those months. And it is a souvenir of one of the happiest days of a mother’s life.

It occurred to me that a cesarean scar is kind of like a badge of membership in an exclusive club. Sure, we might not all have stories about where we felt that first contraction, or how long labor lasted, or how long we pushed (though some do), but we have birth stories of a different type. We did what we had to to make sure our children got here safely, and that’s what really matters. So, yes, I like my scar quite a bit, and I’m glad I’ll always have it to remind me of all of these things.

(As a follow-up to my last post, I’m doing much better with my feelings about the cesarean. I am very positive I can have a VBAC next time—unless #2 is also breech!—and that confidence has helped to dispel any lingering feelings of loss. The only time I’ve felt bad about it in the last month or two was when a friend had a 10 lb. baby vaginally, and I thought “why is that she can do that, and I couldn’t even deliver my 6 ½ pounder?” But I got over it quickly because I know my time will come. Now my only problem is waiting 3 years to find out if I can actually do it!)

My age: 25
One pregnancy, one birth
4 months +1 week postpartum (19 weeks)

Pictures (sorry they’re awkward close-ups, but I figured if I was going to write all about my scar, I needed to include pictures of it!):
My incision 1 day post-partum (for comparison–sorry it’s kind of blurry)
My scar today (19 weeks post-partum)
My little girl, because I love sharing pictures of her!

Updated here and here.

I did it! 9 Months PP Minus 60 Pounds! (Elissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 16 Comments

Anonymous
Age of pregnancy: 22
Age now: 24

Previous entry here.

I just posted at 8 Months PP I had 5 pounds to go. Well, I made my goal 9 months pp! For all you ladies with those annoying women in your life that tell you what you need to do to lose your weight and constantly tell you how you should do it…Don’t listen…Do what works for you. I had a friend who gained about 42 pounds and lost it all within 5 months. She was a size 3 when she was 6 months PP and I was watching her try on clothes in a wheelchair at 36 weeks pregnant. LOTS OF FUN FOR ME! At 4 months PP she tried to get me to go on walks and do P90X with her. I had a C-Section and I still didn’t feel like my body was ready. P90X works but it killed my recovering body and after 15 minutes of doing it I wouldn’t do it again. I was so sore! My friend informed me that if I wanted to lose my weight I needed to eat fat burning foods…My friend didn’t breastfeed and I did…I started trying what she told me to do because I was in a rut…Well, I kept getting migraines and was getting really sick. I had to go to the doctor and they told me not to starve myself and eat lots of protien and enough carbs…DON’T LISTEN TO those know it all friends, they don’t help and take you off of what was working for you. Our bodies are all completely different and we will lose weight at the pace our body wants to lose it. My body isn’t what it once was, and my butt doesn’t seem to want to perk up for me…But I love it. I am finding that I grow to love my pooch on my tummy more and more because that’s where my daughter lived for 9 months. If anyone needs any pointers I will be glad to help with advice on what worked for me. I LOVE my food and eating right wasn’t even a challenge for me because I still ate yummy food, just ate the right amounts and watched my calorie intake. I also splurged on strawberry frozen yogurt. Good luck ladies, I know how it feels when you’re first starting out with the new baby and new body. It took me 9 months!

Updated here.

My Dream Came True (SCS)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 20 Comments

Age: 29
Number of pregnancies: 2
Births: 1
Childs age: 2yrs

First I want to say I love this site. I just wish this site had more true plus size women. So I am posting my pics. I have always wanted children but was told I would probably have trouble getting pregnant due to an upturned cervix. I always told myself that if I never got pregnant before age 27 that I didn’t want any. I felt any after I would be too old. After seeing the movie facing the giants, I finally said, “ok God, if I never have any children I will be fine.” And I gave up on my dream. In March of 2007 I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled, especially when I turn 27 in July, it was rather funny.

I had a wonderful pregnancy, my feet got swollen but other than that it was perfect. I went to all the classes, read all the books. Of course the 2 things I didn’t read on was cesareans and bottle feeding. I knew I was going to do it natural and breastfeed. At exactly 40 weeks, I went into labor on Monday November 12th 2007. I had been waking up during the night but I wasn’t sure what from. When my boyfriend woke up at 6 to get ready for work, I still didn’t realize what was happening. It wasn’t until he left that I realized what was happening every 30 minutes. At 7:30 I called him telling him to come home I was 10 minutes apart. by the time he got home at 9 I was 7 minutes apart. He laughed at me all the way to the hospital. I remember just trying to breathe. nothing special just breathe. oh it hurt. By the time I got to the hospital I was 5 minutes apart. An hour later they broke my water and I was 2 minutes apart. by 12:30 I couldn’t take anymore I finally got an epidural. at 2 the docs came in and said the baby’s heart rate dropped and they started prepping me for a cesarean. I broke down and cried. At 2:24 my sweet little boy was born. So there was one thing I wasn’t prepared for. Then I tried breast feeding my son, on the day I was suppose to leave the hospital the nurse told me I would have to bottle feed my son. I cried yet again. My milk never came in, even after a week of having my son, nothing. So here I was with watermelon boobs (granted I was always had huge boobs) and they were completely worthless to me. I couldn’t even feed my baby.

Almost 2 years later and I want another child. About a month ago I found out I was pregnant again. I was so happy. On Monday November 2nd I lost my baby. Right now I am numb. I cried a lot that Monday but so far I haven’t been able to mourn like I should.

All in all I’m ok with my body. I am at least 50lbs more than I want to be. My stretch marks don’t bother me because I had them before I got pregnant, so I knew I’d get them. What bothers me most is my double chin and I have no clue how to get rid of that. the pics of me are from 2006 before I got pregnant, my belly pic at 37 weeks, and me at 22months pp right before I found out I was pregnant again.

Updated here.

It’s not easy the third time around, when your 38 years old! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Complications in Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Piercing, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 31 Comments

When I found out I was pregnant in May of 2008 I was thrilled! I was 37 years old, and by husband was 49. We both have children from previous marriages. I had a 15 year old son, and a 12 year old son, and my stepson was 9 years old.

We had just celebrated our 5 year anniversary in Las Vegas, and…Well, what happens in Vegas didnt stay there! We were not using any form of birth control, and hadnt for 5 1/2 years. We initially had wanted to try to have a baby, but after 3 years of it not happening, we assumed it wouldnt. I thought it was for the best anyway, because I have VERY difficult pregnancies, and felt it was a blessing I had been able to carry my two sons as long as I had. Both of my boys were born early, at 31, and 33 weeks. They were 4lbs 3 oz, and 4 lbs12 oz at birth.

I have what is called a dildelphys uterus, wich actually means I have two completely seperate uterus, and they are each half the size of a normal uterus, making me go into labor early. The first time I went into labor it was at 29 weeks, and I was in the hospital till my son was born 2 weeks later. With my second pregnancy I started having contractions once at 23 weeks, and then badly at 26 weeks, and had to be on bedrest and on a home monitor & trebutaline pump till 33 weeks, going in and out of the hospital several times for short stays, till they just couldnt stop the labor any longer.

Early on with this pregnancy I found out that this baby was in the “left” uterus, when both of my boys had been in the “right” uterus. This was bad, because the doctors beleive that with each pregnancy the uterus stretches a little more, and since this one was brand new, we didnt know if maybe it was smaller & I wouldnt be able to carry as long. Everything was unknown all over again.

I could tell early on, at about 16 weeks that things were going to be tough, because that is when I started noticing contractions. I was constantly drinking tons of water & laying down till it seemed things would settle down. My doctor was more optomistic then I, and I think he and my husband ( not having gone through this with me before) all thought I was over reacting or imagining things.

I found out in September 09 I was having a girl, and was THRILLED. it was the answer to my prayers! I had been told during my first pregnancy that my son was a girl ( Oops! YES…ultra sound techs make mistakes, and I had THREE ultra sounds in late pregnancy & no one caught the error!) so I had been so shocked when I had a boy, I had thought for years I would only have my two sons. I was also happy it was a girl because they always say girls do better when born prematurely, and I needed all the help we could get!

I only got to be overjoyed for a few weeks before the contractions kicked in pretty badly. At a routine exam at 21 weeks I told the doctor after an uneventful visit that before I left I wanted to hook up to their monitor & check for contractions because I kept feeling an odd tightening sensation in my abdomen . He allowed me to do so, and seemed like he was just doing it to give me peace of mind. After 15 minutes of monitoring & insane contractions showing, he looked pale & sent me immedialty to the hospital, where I was given shots of trebutaline and after about 8 hours was allowed to go home. The next day I got my trebutaline pump & home monitor again. I was on total bedrest from 21 weeks, and only allowed up for doctors visits, to shower & use the bathroom. It was tough going through that, but thankfully since my other kids were older they were somewhat able to help out, and we all managed ok. At 26 weeks I started bleeding quite badly & rushed to the hospital, to stay for 2 weeks while they tried to figure out what was going on. They guessed it was placenta abruption, though there were no signs of an abruption on the ultra sounds. I was so scared going back home that something terrible would happen & I woiuldnt get to the hospital on time, and after that I was not ever tempted to get up again or do anything but lay around. Needless to say, 2 1/2 months of inactivity turned my once nice muscle to mush, and I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy, much of it at the end because I was just laying around eating non-stop. I wanted to make my baby big & strong & ate tons of everything healthy, and quite a bit of some not so healthy stuff!

The day I turned 33 weeks I was celebrating because the next day would be the longest I had ever carried a pregnancy. When I went to the bathroom there was the teeniest amount of spotting, and I couldnt believe it could happen to the day it had before! My husband took me to the hospital to be monitored, but I wasnt having many contractions, so after a few hours they were ready to send me home. Suddenly my daughters heart took a dive, and several nurses rushed in & gave me oxygen. They thought maybe she had just been on the cord, but said I should spend the night so they could continue to monitor the baby to make sure it didnt happen again.

It was the longest day and night ever! My babies heart continued to slow to 50 beats a minute several times, causing chaos with the nurses making me roll back & forth & get up on my hands and knees trying to move the baby off of the cord. They made me use a bedpan because every time I got up to use the restroom when I came back & hooked up her heart beat was dropping. I had to be on oxygen all night. At midnight they came in & explained that if it happened one more time they were going to do a crash c-section & told me how they would put a tube down my throat to put me out & that the baby would be out within 2 minutes. I was so scared! My husband had gone home to the other kids, and the nurses promised if they took me to surgery they would call him immedialty.

Strangely enough once they said “if it happens one more time” I had no other issues. That is, till 8:00 am. My husband had just gotten there & was with me when it started. They didnt rush me to surgery like I expected, but rather called my doctor & kept trying to figure out what to do. It happend about 4 more times before the “big one”. The last time the babies heart didnt come back up, and about 7 nurses ran into the room. They were ripping my clothes off & putting a new gown on me, and tossing me from one gurney to another, and before I knew what was happening I was whisked down the hall. Thankfully they didnt have to put me out, so I was awake & aware the moment my daughter was born via c-section at 12:00 on 12-16-2008. She was beautiful & cried like a regular newborn at birth. She was 4 pounds 7 ounces, and so healthy all she needed was a few puffs of oxygen at birth. She was never placed in an incubator, and was in my room with me the last 2 days of my 4 day stay in the hospital. EVERYONE said she had to be more then 33 weeks along, but me and my doctor knew better, because he had done ultasounds at 5, 6 & 8 weeks, and said there is no way she was further along. He also said he had never seen a baby so premature do this well immedialty. She came home 5 days after she was born, and did not need an apnea monitor. It was amazing.

So….That’s the long story…it makes me so happy just thinking about it. What doesnt make me happy is the battle I have had since trying to loose that 40 pounds I put on!
I am 5’10 so I didnt look huge pregnant, and did not get any stretch marks. That is the positive. The negative is that my skin, being 38 years old is stretched out pretty bady & not returning to normal! It has taken so much longer to loose the weight this time too. I work out like a mad women, and do bootcamp classes 2 times a week, plus tons of cardio, and worked out for 3 1/2 months with a trainer as well. Sometimes at 3-4 months post partum I would get up at 2:30 an, feed the baby, put her back to bed & go to Golds gym & work out from 3:30 am to 5:00, then come home & go back to bed!

I couldnt stand the way I looked, and the feel of my skin sagging on my belly was awful. It didnt feel like I was inside my own body, but somebody elses nasty
stretched out fat body. It was tuff! I am still not sure why or how I went to the gym like that in the middle of the night! It all seemed like I was dreaming while I did it. Once I got down to 8 pounds to my prepregancy weight it was easier to live with myself, and I stopped THAT insanity…though I still work out 4-5 days a week.

I am 11 months post partum now, and still have 4 pounds to loose. The loose skin is still pretty bad on my abdomen, but I guess I can live with it. I went to a surgeon who told me he would suggest a tummy tuck, not just lipo, because of all of the extra skin I have. I have to believe that I am still slowly returning to normal, and a hip to hip scar would be so much more horrible then my c-section scar! I don’t mind it, because It reminds me of the moment my daughter was born.

So….I am 38 years old,
Mom of 3..ages 16, 14 & 11 months.
5′ 10 and 134 lbs.

I know it was all worth it, and certainly don’t mind working hard to “get my body back”, but I see now that what I was doing so soon after the birth of my baby was obsesive.

I just want to be happy with my daughter & not be so focused on something as shallow as what my belly will look like in a bikini…or trying to keep up with the other 20 somethings I know who have all bounced back faster & more easily.

The pictures I attached are of me at 30 weeks, before pregnancy, 32 weeks, and now, 11 months pp.

Loving who I am now (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 29 years old
1 Pregnancy, 1 Child
Photos: 1,2,3 are 18months PP and 4 is a before pregger and 8mo pregger photo

I have a son named Ellis. Ellis was born last May by an unplanned C-section. He is now 18 months old. I had a pretty rough pregnancy. I was in school full-time at Mills College and I was working part-time with preschoolers. While I was pregnant, I completed all of the requirements to graduate, wrote a 25 page thesis, and walked in commencement 6 days after giving birth to Ellis. Whew~

During pregnancy, I gained 100pds+! Just to give you an idea… I weighed 120pds pre-preggers and by the time he was born, I was weighing in at 220-230pds! I had REALLY high blood pressure and one doctor told me I had the most worst case of edema he had ever seen! Needless to say… my once tight and taut body has become an oasis for stretch marks, flabby skin, and just all-together blah-ness~

I didn’t have the confidence or the energy to venture out into the world as the strong mommy warrior I envisioned to be and hoped I would be. Instead I had a long recovery from the unplanned surgery and loathed what I had become. At 27 years old I thought I had the whole world figured out… well, maybe just my world. I thought I knew who I was, what I went through and overcame, I thought… and felt like I just knew me. The package.

After my baby boy was born, I totally lost all sense of who I was and I realized that I no longer possessed the “knowing” of what in essence was me. I was a new person. Reborn. I was a mommy now. Although I loved this being that came from my womb, I resented the fact that in return, I received things that I did want more of… scars, stretch marks, fat, serious responsibilities…

Now a little over a year has passed and I am coming to terms with the new identity I’ve had to establish in being the mother to my child and I am happy to say… I do in fact love myself again… okay, maybe like. I still struggle with issues that I’ve struggled with all my life. Weight issues, insecurities… aarrrggghhh! One day I will overcome.

6 weeks PP and struggling to look in the mirror (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 18 Comments

Age 31, 1 beautiful daughter

I became pregnant last Christmas with my first child, a surprise to both my husband and I…our little Christmas present :-). Before becoming pregnant, I struggled with body image issues and had gained about 30 pounds over the previous 2 years. Going into my first pregnancy already overweight really bothered me and I really tried to keep my pregnancy weight gain under control, but ended up gaining about 50 lbs anyway. I never struggled with my pregnant belly; in fact, I actually enjoyed having the round pregnant belly, but I was terrified of stretch marks. I put buckets of cocoa butter on, knowing that it probably wouldn’t help but trying anyway, and around the 6 1/2 month mark, the first little purple squiggles began to appear. By the end of my pregnancy, they were everywhere. My entire belly was covered, my hips, my upper thighs, my “love handles”, and even my upper pubic area (how did they get there???).

As much as I hated the stretch marks, after I had my daughter my body transformed into something I hadn’t imagined. I had an unplanned c-section (I really wanted to avoid one but ended up with one anyway) and now on top of all of the stretch marks, my belly hangs/overlaps over the incision. I literally have to lift my stomach up to clean my incision and because of the way my skin hangs over it, it isn’t healing as quickly and is very uncomfortable. Most clothing is uncomfortable because it just mashes the overlapped skin down onto the incision. On top of that, it’s hanging crooked (the right side hangs lower than the left) and my left hip has this weird dent/overhang. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror and I won’t undress in front of my husband because I’m disgusted by my own body and can’t imagine that he isn’t too. When I do catch glimpses of myself in the mirror, I find myself fighting back the tears. I’ve lost 30 pounds over the last 6 weeks and have watched my body change quite a bit, but I can’t shake the feeling that my body is too far gone.

I adore my daughter and I’m so happy that I have her, but I’m really struggling with this and desperately wish I could get past it. Hoping to find some encouragement here. Thanks for reading!