Cesarean

Tummy Struggles (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Endometriosis, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

~Age: 27 years old
~Number of pregnancies and births: Two
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 and 2 years old, both born by c-section.

Every day I look in the mirror and feel a wee bit sad, I have a miss-shaped belly button, scaring in my belly button from any endometriosis surgeries.

My body tells a story. with all the paths leading different ways, spiralling all over my body.

Whilst I am grateful for my two beautiful children I feel sad about what it has done to my body, in fact so much I am putting off having another until my stomach is toned more.

I am not sure how toned I could make it though, there’s only so much going back right?

When I see other women’s bodies like my own I feel okay, but my own, I’m not so okay about.

I just wanted to share to show that no all bodies are made perfect, to those women out there struggling with it like I am!

6 Babies, 5 C-Sections, 4 Daughters, 3 TOL’s, 2 Son’s, 1 Love (Stacy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Homebirth, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Update, VBAC 14 Comments

Previous entries here, here and here.

My last posting this past summer was very freeing for me. I loved the photos, and for the first time really saw beauty in my imperfect body. I feel strong, and continue to grow in inner and outer strength. These photos were taken at our local hot springs & a then there are a couple of family photos. I love this website… and life :-)

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies and births: 6
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12, 7, 5, 4, 3, 23mo– 23 mo PP

Getting used to the new me (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

Age-23
Number of pregnancy’s,births- 1 ,1
4 1/2 months Postpartum
c-section

I have been having a pretty hard time dealing with my new body after having my baby 4 months ago. I am just now starting to be some what ok with how I look. I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy and have lost 20 of it, for some reason the last 20lbs do not seem to want to come off and I’ve been getting a little depressed about it, but I do know that it WILL eventually come off. My husband is amazing, he’s always telling me that I look great and sexy and beautiful, but its still hard to believe sometimes. I guess the thing that gets me is in your 20’s your are supposed to feel and look your best and I don’t feel like I ever will again. Its not the stretch marks that bother me so much all though they arnt my favorite lol, I think the flash from the camera brightens them up a bit because they arnt as noticeable in person. What bothers me is how much my stomach still pokes out from the side. It seems like no matter what I do it wont even start to flatten out. I do wonder sometimes though if I had not had to have a c-section if it would have been easier to lose the weight. I didn’t want to have a c-section but my little guy wouldn’t fit so they had to give me one. But all and all I don’t think I look to bad, I obviously don’t look like I’d like to, but I got my perfect little man out of it all so I try not to complain to much. I’d do it all over again in a heart beat.

My Striped Tiger Body (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 24 Comments

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy and 1 birth

Im 21 years old and i feel as tho my body is completely ruined and ill never fit into my old clothes or be happy with my body again. Let me start by saying that i love my daughter with all my heart and soul. Im happy that she has entered my life. No regrets! My pregnancy was normal i had gain alot of extra weight i didnt need. I was 135 pounds pre pregnancy i gained 72 pounds which put me at 210 and now im at 164. Im struggling with my self esstem and my appearance. I guess im a little vain when it comes to myself. But i feel as tho i look horrible. Im married and have been with my husband for 7 years, married for one. I feel like ill never be good enough for him again. That im not beautiful and i can never wear feel comfortable naked around him again.

I had started exercising, because i felt so bad about myself. I did it for about 2 months and found no results and stopped at 172 then finally i started eating less and not excerising which got me down to 164 where i am yet again stuck. I feel like no matter how many crunches i do the little pouch from my c-section will never go away not only that but my stomach looks like a tiger gashed me all around. Ive even considered a tummy tuck and laser stretch mark removal but who has the money for that?

It’s just so hard seeing these other girls my age with babies who are back down to 100 pounds within a month or the moms who look like they didnt even have kids. Why couldnt that be me? What am i doing wrong?

I get so stressed about how i look but then i look at my daughter and think its all worth it. She lights my day. But sometimes its hard to get past the thought of horrible i look under my shirt. Im 21 this is suppose to be the best my body is suppose to look, and it doesn’t. I feel like i cant even be beautiful until i accepted the fact that im not going to be like the super models or the perfect girls on the beach ( i live in Florida where everyone has the perfect beach body). I just want to be happy with myself and my body and ever since i gave birth i have felts nothing about negative thoughts about myself. I think it also has a huge impact on my relationship. Im always putting myself down around him and when we are getting intimate all i can think about is how gross my stomach looks or how fat i am. Which completely ruins the mood..i just dont feel good enough..

So i decided to post on this site because it looks like maybe you guys can give me thoughts opinions and maybe help me get through this time in my life. Id like to feel good things about me.

8 Months Post C-Section (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

I LOVE this website,, and all you wonderful mothers out there! This is my third submission. I had my first child May 2010 via unplanned C section. A wonderful, beautiful, healthy little girl! She brings so much joy to all that she comes into contact with,, ready with a huge grin for everyone! She makes me smile on my worst day,, and overflow with happiness with each kiss and hug. I have to say that I am so proud of the lovely woman who created this place of support and refuge. And I think that we all deserve to be supported, encouraged and welcomed. I tried keeping up a little diary/photo album of post pregnancy progress on my Facebook,, but got soooo much flak and discouragement that I stopped. Please NO ONE take this wrong,, but it seems that if you actually feel good about yourself and have been working hard on being healthy and getting strong and in shape,, that that is to not be recognized. Only judged with harsh words. Thats why I am so thankful for you all on here! I am working on becoming a certified health and fitness trainer and now teach classes at a Studio. I feel like I could be an encouragement to a lot of women. I am going on 32 and had my first child by c section less than a year ago, and am back to pre pregnancy weight and feel so energized and strong and blessed.I just want those out there who may be feeling down,, hopeless and who are probably being way too hard on themselves,, to know,, that even if it takes different ways or lengths of time, that you CAN feel like, and be a healthy, fit, strong, sexy MOTHER! We are all shaped differently and have different beautiful traits (and wonderful “flaws”) that make us unique. I just feel like sometimes some women have this stigma in their head that they aren’t supposed to want to feel vibrant and sexy after they become a mom, and that is so not true! I want to encourage you all to take pride and joy in what your bodies have accomplished in motherhood and to realize its your ONLY body, to love it , nourish it, strengthen it and when the time and place are right ,, flaunt it a little!! :) Have fun with motherhood and with being a woman! GOD Bless you all!

Photos are :
1.36 weeks
2. Seeing my gal for the first time
3. the day before I went into labor,, gettin a kiss from hubby
4. My babies first Thanksgiving!
5. 6 months post partum
6. Hubby, lil brother, me and baby girl on Christmas!

16 Months Postpartum (Tessa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 12 Comments

Previous entry here.

It is over 6 months later, and since my previous entry I’ve only been able to lose 10 lbs. My husband has had surgeries, I picked up a second job and am working 45 or so hours, 6 days a week. I cannot afford a gym membership, and wouldn’t have the time to spend at one. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve committed to getting more active and losing 10 lbs by April 18th. I’ve joined a Biggest Loser contest at my workplace to help motivate me. It is a struggle every day to find time to be active when there are so many more responsibilities – cleaning house, dishes, laundry (I cloth diaper as well), cooking and bedtime routines. After all this, I have sometimes 1 hour to myself before it is my own bed time. I’ve started 30 Day Shred and am doing it every other day. I also mix it up with some of P90X workouts. I find myself absolutely energized, in a better mood, and looking at my body in a more positive light after a workout.

I will never have a bikini body again. I have “twin skin” as I gave birth by cesearean to a 9 lb 13 oz baby – he was big enough to be two babies! My belly button is no longer, it is nothing but a hole hidden in the saggy skin and crease in my stomach. My stomach will never be smooth and nice to the touch ever again. Sometimes I find myself really missing how my husband used to run his fingers over my pre-baby belly. He loves me, he says I’m beautiful, he doesn’t ever dream of looking at another woman, he despises the pressure on women to have a perfect body, but the fact remains: he does not run his hand over my belly anymore. It is the section of my body that he avoids when we are intimate. I’ve never told him I’ve noticed, because I don’t blame him and I don’t want him to feel guilty.

99% of the time, although I am displeased with my body, I don’t feel immensely sad or depressed about my shape or weight. I guess the really only times I get really, really down about my body is when I’m shopping and pass by a really thin, great looking mom pushing a 5 month old around in a cart. I always ask myself “Why did *I* have to be so fat and ugly after a baby? Why couldn’t I have been one of the lucky ones to just bounce back?”

I really do not care so much about stretch marks or a little bit of loose skin.. my problem is the excess weight (which can be fixed) and the twin skin (which can’t be fixed short of surgery, which I’d never do). I’m young (20), this is my first child, I was so thin before… I used to think only people who have had twins or triplets, or 6 babies, looked the way I do.

Updated here.

My Mother Shape is Beautiful (Melissa Ann)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 11 Comments

My life has been so enriched by my identical twin daughters, but my body… for a long time I thought it had fallen to shreds. Yesterday I challenged myself to find the beauty in the way I’ve been stretched. This photo is my result.

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 Pregnancy 2 Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 15 Months

012511-melissaann-1

One Year and 60 Pounds Down (Jess)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 20 Comments

Original entry here.

20 Years Old
1 Year PP
Pre Pregnancy 124
End Of Pregnancy 194
Currnetly 135

This has been the fastest year of my life… I’ll be honest… I thought i would be in better shape by now… Some days I think I’m looking pretty good and with a little toning maybe even hot someday… Other days I could just cry… I see the wrinkly texture left on my belly from the enormous amount of weight I gained and the stretch marks and it just seems hopeless…

I haven’t lost much weight since my last post… but I’m going to really start working on it… Bathing suit season starts in about 5 months and if I could make it down below 120 I would be in heaven. That seems like a reasonable goal… but we’ll see how that goes… To be honest after working a full time job and taking care of a baby who I believe will be entering into his terrible twos verrry early the last thing i really feel like doing is exercising… but I don’t feel like i have the right to complain if I can’t at least try…

It’s just so hard seeing these other girls my age with babies who are back down to 100 pounds within a month… my prepregnancy jeans still wont go up past my thighs… I think the thing i’m moost afraid of though is that I wont ever be able to love myself unless I look like I just walked off of the Victorias Secret runway… and let’s be honest… thats never going to happen… I’ve noticed it’s alot easier to love myself on days that I keep the tv on cartoons and dont leave the house lol…. The world can be such a negative place…

This has been such a hard road… not just physically all the changes my body has went through but emotionally too… I know my relationship with my sons father will never be great as long as I can’t love my body.. He get’s mad at me if i try to keep my shirt on or cover my stomach when we’re getting intimate… So he can’t be that grossed out by me right? It’s just hard knowing that some of his exes actually had the body of an actress or model… I think he loves me though…

Hopefully I can continue to grow and be more accepting of my body after what all it’s been through… and hopefully on my next post I’ll be sending in pictures of myself rocking a bikini this summer… which is something i have never had the confidence to do…

Is that a football in your belly? No, it’s just extra skin. (Erin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Mothers with Health Complications, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

My age: 34
# of pregnancies and births: 2, both by c-section
Children ages: almost 4 and almost 2

I’m not a tall woman. I stand at only 5′ 1/2″. I feel like I’ve always struggled with my weight. I have always worn C-D bra sizes, so I’ve always been pretty “gifted” in that area. As for everything else, I have always felt a little “fluffy”. Looking back at my “younger” pictures, I only now realize that I used to have a nice body… Hindsight – it’s a double edged sword, isn’t it…

I gained just about 29-35’ish lbs with both of my sons’ pregnancies. I BELIEVE my starting pre-pregnancy weight was around 135-140… I remember weighing in at 146 when I got pregnant the second time. I held at a pretty consistent 157-158lbs after the second son was born (up until a couple of weeks ago).
I have what I call a “fanny pack” – the nice loose skin that so many mothers talk about. Like I said, I call it a fanny pack, even though it kind of has the shape of a football… Neither create positive mental pictures.

I had started exercising, minimally and not consistently, and easily burnt out because the semi-dedication did not lead to the desired results… Who knew, right?

Over the past few weeks. I’ve invested in a stationary bike, which I try to ride at least for a little while each day, I’ve started walking about 2 miles per day, I use our in-home gym each night for minimal weightlifting, and then I close the day with various stretches. I’m trying to find a happy medium, something that will get me results and that will not lead to mental or physical burn out. As of right now, I’m weighing in at 152.8lbs and feel like I’ve started to tone up. I feel like it’s a good step, but I’m not sure if I’m going about things right or doing what I should be doing to see the maximum results for my efforts.

Oh, did I mention that I suffer from depression, anxiety, and multiple sclerosis? I was thinking that if I was exercising, I could probably get rid of my depression due to the extra endorphins, but that isn’t happening (found that out the hard way after just missing one “happy pill”). My doc tells me that the depression, though it might get a little better with the exercising, is probably here to stay due to the MS. Lovely… The multiple sclerosis also impacts overall energy – so if I over do something, I have difficulty walking and functioning for a good time afterwards. I am trying to incorporate new technologies (e.g. cooling vests) to hopefully prolong my energy during exercise, but it’s still in the experimental stages for me. Also with the MS, I have to take daily/nightly injections – rotating the “lucky” location each day. So each leg, arm, and hip, along with the stomach gets a turn to be tortured. The shots can range from not too bad to really quite painful and the affects can last for either hours or sometimes days. Also, because of the daily shots, there is a greater possibility of tissue loss – wonderful, huh? So, not only has pregnancy and childbirth played twister with my body, but now the shots are, too? Ugh… Just something else to look forward to…

I say all of the at to say that I really am trying now to lose weight an start to feel better about myself. I believe my mindset is finally where it needs to be to push myself to be able to see results, but I fear the mysterious uphill journey that I’m on is not as consistent as I’d like it to be. Again, I don’t want to do too much or become so overly obsessive, so that I can’t function or have a harder time functioning and staying true to a goal. I also don’t want to burn out, either mentally or physically, and just get so disheartened by the whole process. I want to see results, and I would LOVE to see the person I KNOW is possible to be reflected back to me in a mirror.

People used to find me attractive, and now, I even wonder if my husband, when asked/prodded, says he finds me attractive, pretty, and sexy only because he’s bound to think that by the matrimony vows we took, as well as because he’s a good guy. Would I do me? Nah, I don’t think so – not unless the room was very dark and I was laying 100% of the time on my back to call less attention to the fanny pack.

This past week, I made a consultation appointment with a plastic surgeon in town. He tooted his horn, telling me he could take 5-6″ off of my waist and by the time the tummy tuck and lipo procedures were done and healed from, I would be within 1-2lbs of my ideal weight… He told me I could have a flat stomach. That is something I’ve NEVER had – it’s just never been in my genes… To me, that would be the icing or the gravy – my main concern is my fanny pack… I want that GONE! I was really quite pleased that he complimented my hips and thighs – saying they would need no work, but then he threw out a “you have boy hips” comment. What the heck is that all about? I don’t want to look like some magazine super model girl, I just want to look like me – with less of a tummy!!!! So, after the consultation, I learned to that the cost of everything he wants to do to me is $8000!!!!! OUCH!!!!!

So, now I’m somewhat back to square one, looking for anything (suggestions, positive reinforcement, guidance) to help me feel better about myself and get to a happy place weight wise…

Help????