Cesarean Scar and/or Incision

2 Kids and Body Afterwards (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

I had my first son at age 19. I was 115 pounds and a size three. In my pregnancy I went up to 198 pounds. My body never went to normal. For while i stayed at 165 pounds. Stretch marks on my inner legs ouuter upper legs vigina, boobs love handles belly almost every where . So a few years later I decided to have smart liop/. Now I have six scar from that and loose flabby belly. A year later I got pregnant again, and my stretch marks got worse on my boobs and are past my belly botton on my belly. I’m 23 now with a 4 year old and a one year old. I love my boys but hate my body… I’m a size 7,9 now and 136 pounds.. i had a c section with my 2nd.. i’m ugly.. I used to play sofe ball and be a cheerleader. Now no one wants to see me. I don’t even ghe the beach i can’t wear a one piece cause of the stretch marks on my legs whta do I do

27 with 2 kids, 1 c-section and dealing with the scar left behind (Marie P.)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 17 Comments

I am currently 27 and 3 months and 1 week post c-section. I have 2 children a 5 year old and now a 3 month old. My son was a c-section and needless to say I, like other women have had struggles with my new body and scarring. Our bodies not only change but they permanently stay unusual in our eyes. And we have to find it within us somewhere to accept it. Before my 5 year old I was very active running every day. So I guess you can say I was in very much in shape. During my first pregnancy I was also active. I was working all the way until I popped and even during my pregnancy I ran up until I was 4 months and took yoga classes. My pre-weight was 110 and at the end of my pregnancy I was 142. I delivered her vaginally with no complications. And short after 2 weeks in having her I was eager to hit the track and start running again. my eagerness caused me to hemorrhage for a 1 month. So I forced myself to stay put for a month. Once I healed and followed doctors orders I hit the track. about 4 months later I was 110 again and my body was prob in the best shape ever, even before my daughter was born. Hard work paid off then. Opting to grace my husband with a son I got pregnant at 26 (having kept in mind that my 1st pregnancy was smooth sailing). After just 3 months into pregnancy, i gained a few pounds and fast. My starting weight was 118. By my 4th month I was 125 and feeling very sick. I was always sleepy and tired and very noxious daily. This pregnancy was definitely different. Needless to say I was not able to work out during this pregnancy. About my 7th month and 8th month of pregnancy I was finally able to walk on the treadmill 3 times a week with much back ache though. My son of course at 37 weeks was footling breech and they had scheduled me to do what they call a version. Where they manually try to turn the baby while in your womb from the outside. This procedure lasted 35 minutes and was very painful for me. After a failed attempt to turn him the doc felt I should go home and we would schedule a c-section. Until the PA found me to be 4 cm dilated. With my son’s foot lodged into my pelvis bone the doctor felt best i had a c-section that day since i was so far dilated. As we got everything prepared to have a baby, another doctor took the shift and felt he could be successful in turning the baby manually to save me having to be cut open. Although I felt like we should just go as planned the doctor was more convincing then I was. So we tried once more for this version. During this process the doctor caused my son to go in distress (meaning having bowel movements in the womb) which then called for an emergency c-section rather then scheduled. The OR was not prepared for a c-section. The nurses had not set up for this and the doctor and nurses were yelling at each other. My husband was called in late into the OR as he was walking in my son was being yanked out. He wasn’t breathing at first but he was revived and his leg was unfortunately broken. I was heart broken but i am so blessed to have him here and thankful that he is ok now. The result of my c-section is my beautiful son who endured alot his first seconds of life. With all that happened my recovery from all this was definitely a hard and long one. the pain was nothing like Ive experienced. But because of how eager I am to be fit, I had in my mind that I was going to start working out 2 weeks pp. Well that didnt happen as planned. My pain lasted longer then 2 weeks. So I wanted to wait another week. I had read all this internet stories about women who had ran as little as 3 weeks pp. So I thought I would be one of them. Well my caring husband would not let me and forbid me from working out before 6 weeks. So having no choice other then waiting I looked daily at my scar and breast that began to slowly sag. The more I looked at my scar the more depressed I got. I applied mederma cream and gel faithfully in hopes that in just 6 weeks the scar would go away. Ladies, it doesn’t work like that. After my 6 week pp I hit the gym thinking I could jog cause I was in shape prior. Nope! It hurt like hell to jog. So for about 1month I kept it at walk and gradually turned it into a jog by Feb. (if you use a trimming belt to suppress your incision area, it helps alot) By the end of Feb. I was able to run again. And by March 1st I was able to run at my peak and without my trimming belt. Im having regular workout sessions as before and I feel great. Until I undress. I know I should see my scar as a trophy scar but I dont. My trophy is my son being here and thats the best trophy out there. My scar is just a new flaw that I have. I got a few stretch marks but they disappear in about a year. (as they did with my daughter) My breast are very run down and I plan on getting them re-done. My husband is very supportive and tries so hard to reassure me that it doesnt mean anything to him and he doesn’t care a bout a stupid scar because he loves me and he is deeply attracted to me. But some ladies will agree that in the society we live in to day. What and how you look is often judge before your personality. Which is very sad. But this is my body and its just something Im not and will never get use to seeing. My ending pregnancy weight at 37 weeks was 152. I am now 3 months and 1 week post c-section and weighing 117. I have 7 more pounds to lose but this time around its been harder then before. For those trying to lose weight after a csection. Follow doctors orders and listen to your body. The after effects like the scarring and the stretch marks are something us women have to deal with that no one will ever understand how it could make us feel. Whether its a lot of stretch marks or 1 stretch mark or horrible incision or sagging breast or prune belly. We have to find ways to accept our bodies… and that is what im trying to do No ones said it would be easy and I am learning that as I go. I know some people have worse and some have it lightly but this is me and what I can stand. And it just doesnt sit well with me.

I have included photos:
1 photo of me before i got pregnant with my daughter
1 during my pregnancy with her
1 after the 1st pregnancy weight loss
1 before my pregnancy with my son
2 during my sons pregnancy
3 of my c section scar
1 of my cankles :)
3 of my body now
1 of my son and his trauma
1 of my scar at 3months 1week

One Year and 60 Pounds Down (Jess)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 20 Comments

Original entry here.

20 Years Old
1 Year PP
Pre Pregnancy 124
End Of Pregnancy 194
Currnetly 135

This has been the fastest year of my life… I’ll be honest… I thought i would be in better shape by now… Some days I think I’m looking pretty good and with a little toning maybe even hot someday… Other days I could just cry… I see the wrinkly texture left on my belly from the enormous amount of weight I gained and the stretch marks and it just seems hopeless…

I haven’t lost much weight since my last post… but I’m going to really start working on it… Bathing suit season starts in about 5 months and if I could make it down below 120 I would be in heaven. That seems like a reasonable goal… but we’ll see how that goes… To be honest after working a full time job and taking care of a baby who I believe will be entering into his terrible twos verrry early the last thing i really feel like doing is exercising… but I don’t feel like i have the right to complain if I can’t at least try…

It’s just so hard seeing these other girls my age with babies who are back down to 100 pounds within a month… my prepregnancy jeans still wont go up past my thighs… I think the thing i’m moost afraid of though is that I wont ever be able to love myself unless I look like I just walked off of the Victorias Secret runway… and let’s be honest… thats never going to happen… I’ve noticed it’s alot easier to love myself on days that I keep the tv on cartoons and dont leave the house lol…. The world can be such a negative place…

This has been such a hard road… not just physically all the changes my body has went through but emotionally too… I know my relationship with my sons father will never be great as long as I can’t love my body.. He get’s mad at me if i try to keep my shirt on or cover my stomach when we’re getting intimate… So he can’t be that grossed out by me right? It’s just hard knowing that some of his exes actually had the body of an actress or model… I think he loves me though…

Hopefully I can continue to grow and be more accepting of my body after what all it’s been through… and hopefully on my next post I’ll be sending in pictures of myself rocking a bikini this summer… which is something i have never had the confidence to do…

Trying Not To Be Sad, But I Just Can’t Help It (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 17 Comments

Age:22
1pregnancy/1birth
4 weeks PP

I was 21 when I found out I
was pregnant. The father & I had only been serious for about 6 months at the time, but he being 6 years older than me was ready to settle down & took the news better than I did. I never had a perfect body by any means, I am 5’4″ and fluctuated between 125-145 ever since I was 15 years old. I was just like any other girl my age and hated my body. Now looking back, I would pay any amount of money to have it again. I was a 36C and thought my boobs were saggy. Haha!! I clearly did not know the meaning. When I first found out I thought since I was so young I would gain the minimum amount of weight and I’d bounce right back to prepregnancy size.

Boy was I wrong!

On 11/18/2010 I went to my weekly check up (I was 38 weeks pregnant) Everything went just like any of the other appointments I had had. I was weighed, and at this point had gained exactly 40lbs. (putting me at 174) I got my cervix checked for dilation & was still 2cm which I had been for the past month. They asked me the normal questions… ‘have you felt the baby move today?’ and not really thinking anything of it I replied ‘no not yet today, she generally sleeps until about 4pm’ well, the doctor did not like the sounds of that. He sent me right over to the hospital where I was hooked up to all the monitors. They explained to me that I could choose to be induced but since my body technically wasn’t ready to give birth yet and given the size of the baby (according to my ultrasounds she was already about 9lbs) that there would be an 80% chance I would end up needing an emergency c-section. So I chose to just go ahead with the cesarean. At 11:47 that evening Kenleigh Madison was born at 8lbs9oz & 20 1/2 inches long. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on.

The recovery from the surgery really wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. I was up and walking 12 hours later and only ended up staying in the hospital for a total of 2 days.

Now I’m stuck staring in the mirror at this, for lack of a better word, this mess.

All the extra weight just sits around my mid section, my love handles, my ponch. Looking at myself truly grosses me out. I can’t fit into any of my clothes and it’s so frustrating because it’s literally just the one area. My legs and arms and face all shrunk back immediately. And the stretch marks under my belly button are so awful & painful the sight of them brings tears to my eyes. Even my belly button is twice it’s normal size! I wish I had at least tried to give birth vaginally, because I fear I will never be able to lose the baggage due to damage that has been done to my abdominal muscles. The scar itself doesn’t bother me, it’s low enough that it’s easily hidden. But everything else about my stomach is a nightmare. & my boobs!! I’m 22 and now have the breasts of a 40 year old. I just fear that my boyfriend will lose interest. If not because of my body, than because of my lack of confidence. And I just can’t help it. We’ve talked about marriage before & during my pregnancy and I’m afraid that now that he sees what my body looks like that he will think twice and not propose.

The pictures I’ve included are:
1)my body prepregnancy
2) about 9 months pregnant
3) the 1st time I held my beautiful baby girl
4) Kenleigh a day old
5&6) my body 4weeks PP
7) my scar

5 Weeks PP, Almost There (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

I’m a 24 yr old women who just had a beautiful baby boy on october 1st of this year via emergency c section due to fetal distress. My c section was very painful I never been in so much pain and I was a little sad I didn’t deliever vaginal. I’m five weeks pp and I must say my body is changing back very nicely. This is my first baby and first pregnancy so when I found out I was shocked but very happy! Here’s my story. In 2008 (april) I was 168 pounds standing about 5’7 I hated my body I hated my boobs which was a size 36DD my belly my face and cheeks my weight always ended up never in the places I wanted it to be. I was just tired of being thick so I set out on a journey to lose about 20 pounds and I ended up losing 60. I went from a 36 DD to a 32 B, a size 32 to a size 24 which is a zero. I hit my 60 pound goal in (june) of that year. I change the way I ate and live no fastfoods sodas or juices just healthy natural wholefoods (fruits and veggies) only chicken and fish. I started cooking and walking more and the weight just fell off I got down to 108 and was underweight and a little to thin so I started working out and put on weight really healthy as well as muscle. I had amazing abs/ small waist small arms nice long legs I just loved going shopping and putting on clothes I took my body for granted and didn’t apprecaite at all. The saying you don’t miss something until its gone. So when I got pregnant I was very sacred of getting big and getting a ton of strecth marks on my tummy (how vain) yes I know. Funny I didn’t get a single one on my tummy (mama mio) tummy rub which I believe worked cuz I had some strecth marks on my butt from puberty which I just knew was going to come on my tummy. I started googling post baby tummy and found this website and that gave me hope but also freaked me the hell out I must say ( the real life stories) but I continue to gained weight (healthy) and blossom as my baby and tummy started growing I cared but didn’t it was nothing I could physical do that could stop me from gaining weight or getting strecth marks I continue to walk a lot and enjoyed foods (cake) I love the way I looked in pregnancy.my belly was round, my breast were nice and ripe, my skin was amazing, my hair and nails grew I got complients from both sexes it was a great experience. I just thought like many women ur body would just snapped back (123 after birth)but it takes time. My mother told me her stomach went flat days after and she left the hospital looking like she never push out a baby. You can imagaine I started thinking that would happen to me boyyy was I wrong I gained about 25 pounds I went from 130 to 155 I left the hospital at 152 five days later still looking about five months preggers I was a little shocked at how my body looked I had huge breasts ( went from a 32B to a whopping 32F) they hurt like hell they were so swollen and very painful I couldn’t move cause I was in so much pain I was severly stopped up annother side of a c section when I did have a bowel movement it was so painful. I looked in the mirror and this is what I saw: a dark line running down my tummy thick thighs a soft very soft tummy that jiggle when I walked or move a fatter face and bigger arms. I said to myself how could this be? I gained the right amount of weight I already had a nice figure b4 baby why isn’t it looking back to how I use to? The answer is I just had a baby that’s how and it took time for me to gained the weight and it will take me time to lose it. I kept telling myself that but I just didn’t like my body I was only a couple of weeks pp (silly) I know but hey how you feel about yourself effects your life in every way and I worked so hard so I just didn’t want to let go of what I looked like just a few short months ago. I was just shocked my pre preggers jeans didn’t fit I had a tummy and leaking breasts ( I pump) no one told me this (its like the secret) to motherhood. No one told me that the weight takes time to come off so when I went for my two week post scar check up I weighed 142 pounds and looked very much like I did. My scar was healing I should have been happy but I wasn’t. I was a little upset (hormones) I started working out 2 weeks pp just walking and doing light excersises to help my abs regain strength which helped my skin attach back to the muscle. My body is amazing it helped grow my baby, this amazing little boyy who is so perfect (to me) my body may not be model thin or bikini ready but it will be. I haven’t been on the scale since but my six week pp appointment is coming up I’m happy cause I know I lost more weight I can see and feel the difference as soon as I’m in the clear I would love to start running a couple days out the week, I know my body will come back I try to have a postive out look I eat healthy and in small porportions I listen to my body when I need rest I rest (try 2) and most of all I’m enjoying my lil man I could hold him forever. Its not easy it takes time and work I’m like many people I like things to happen over night which is just not real. I now really apprecaite my body and all that it did/does for me, motherhood is such an amazing experience I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I kind of wish I would have truly enjoyed the weight gained and not got upset when the number on the scale went up (that’s one thing I would have changed) I wished I would have embraced it more. I know next time what to expect (I want more kids) and I’m going to enjoy it and welcome the weight gain as a sign that I’m something short of amazing. I included some pics the first three pics are me pre pregnancy, the second one is me preggers and the third two pics is me two weeks pp and the last three pics is me a five weeks pp!

Updated here.

I Love My Boys, I HATE My Body! (Christina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 21 Comments

Age: 20
# of pregnancies/births/cesareans: 2
Age of children: 2 1/2(born:2008) and 13months(born:2009)
Postpartum: 13months as of 10/10

I got pregnant for the first time at 17, before then i had always worried about my weight and at 5’6″ 147lbs i wasn’t over weight. Now i am 286lbs and i cant stop thinking about it. Not only do i feel bad and unattractive, but i know it is bad for my health.

during my first pregnancy i didn’t really care about my weight gain, i guess i always thought it would be easy to lose later. but after i had my first son i felt (and looked like) and empty vessel. i had gained at least 40lbs during my pregnancy, though I’m not sure how sense i was vomiting the whole pregnancy. i was all stretch marked and i hadn’t really lost any weight after giving birth, which BTW i had a csection. and then i actually gained weight after the birth. so after my csection i had that as an excuse not to exercise, that and ya know being too tired and any other excuse i could think of. then me and my then boyfriend/baby daddy got married. then we decided to have another baby. and at 18 i got pregnant right away(9months after my first). and i had actually been put on pills to get my period back, which I’m sure i didn’t get cause of the weight gain. but after my first period on the pills is when we got pregnant. then yet again i really didn’t worry about how much weight i gained. i monitored it a little more but i still ate what i wanted, when i was not barfing cause yet again i had morning sickness the whole pregnancy. and at the end of my second pregnancy i had gained I’m sure at least 30lbs. and after the birth of my second son i still didn’t lose the weight. and yet again gained more after the baby was born and used the excuse again that i had a c section.

now that I’m pushing 300lbs, I’ve gone from a 38C cup to a 44 DD cup, I’m stretched marked to hell, and have horrible back, knee, and hip pain, it really is alot harder to exercise. i tire a lot easier and the pain gets almost unbearable. on top of all that, I’m really scared of exercising alone. I’ve set up dates to walk with friends and they some how always end up blowing me off. and i know that i need to just get over it and go do it. and even if i do lose the weight i do not think that i will ever be satisfied with my body again(not that i was really before). all i keep thinking is “I’m 20, my body shouldn’t look like this.” i don’t like looking in the mirror or shopping for clothes cause its just depressing, when you used to be able to pick up a size 11 or 12 and it would fit now you’re in a 20 something. my husband hates when i say things like this, about being fat and such. he doesn’t understand cause he has the high metabolism, and so hes skinny. and i know its horrible but I’m so jealous of him. he says I’m beautiful, and i just really wish that i could see it that way. I’ve read about a bunch of women who are embracing their post baby bod, and i just wish that i was that strong. and the crazy thing is while pregnant i feel so much more beautiful, but as soon as the baby is born i don’t.

I love my boys so much, they are everything to me. the only thing i would change is i would exercise and watch what i ate while i was pregnant and after.

yet again we are talking about another baby. i really do want a big family, but i know that i need to be in good health to have a healthy baby. so i want to at least get close to my pre-pregnancy size. i just wish that i knew now how to do that.

Thanks to all of you brave women for posting your stories. :)

1. before pregnancy
2. pregnant with #1
3. PP after 1
4. pregnant with #2
5. PP after 2
6. c section scar after 2
7. 13 months PP after 2
8. 13 months PP after 2
9. my 1 year old
10. my 2 1/2 year old

Post C-Section Belly at 7 Months (Shaunna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 6 Comments

I am a 25 year old woman, who had her first baby delivered back in March via c-section. After 12 hours in labor and a dropping fetal heart rate, the doctors decided c-section was the way to go.

Since the c-section, I have had the hardest time trying to get my stomach back to where it was. Aside from the uncomfortable bulging and bloating around the site, my once smooth stomach is now also stretched, purple and flabby. By all appearances, I have lost the baby weight. I run 2 miles a day, and incorporate weights 3 times a week. However, I am still breastfeeding my son, and my stomach as you can plainly see, still looks like a post pregnancy belly.

While at first my self esteem plummeted, I have to admit, the new look has grown on me. It’s not what I am used to, but I have such an extraordinary son. He just lights up my whole life. My husband swears to me he still thinks I am beautiful. I tear up when I think of what an amazing vessel my body is, to have nourished, grown and birthed our amazing child.

SO, that being said… I wish I could hug all the moms that look in the mirror and aren’t always thrilled. However, sites like this are so awesome due to the acceptance that is promoted. I really don’t think I could stand it if I heard of one more woman who stopped eating because she didn’t like her body. I wish there were more being done to promote healthy, happy women and less self consciousness.

Update (Babs)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 22 Comments

Previous entries here, here and here.

When my first son died, shortly after birth, I found too late that the only prints I’d been given from the hospital staff were barely worth calling prints… they didn’t even try to unfold his fingers before taking them, and even inked his knuckles rather than take the extra effort to create something memorable. I had been hoping for something clear and beautiful, but when they handed me the papers, I was devastated.
He left no marks on my body other than an ugly and unnecessary cesarean scar: I had no stretch marks or permanent weight gain, I was longing for something physical to remember him by. I wanted a tattoo of his hand in the place where it had been pressing throughout my pregnancy… but due to the condition of the prints, I didn’t know if this would ever happen.

It’s taken me years of canvasing tattoo artists to find one that was capable of not only reconstructing a good print, but also skilled enough to capture the finer details of it.

With the help of my best friend, who took prints from her newborn daughter to give a template to work from, I took the papers to a new artist in town with an amazing skill in details and shadows. She gave me a perfect copy of the size and shape of his palm… not only that, but she painstakingly worked his palm lines (the only part of his prints that was truly preserved) into the tattoo.

So here’s my fourth submission: about 1.5 months pregnant with baby number four, carrying the extra 20lbs from my last two pregnancies, covered in faded stretch marks, an ugly cesarean scar from an unnecessary surgery I still haven’t recovered from, and finally graced with a mark from my first son’s life.

It’s Not the Same Body, But it’s Fine By Me (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 22 Comments

Pre-pregnancy weight: 107
Labor weight: 160
Post-pregnancy weight: 104

I am posting because this site helped me so much. I came here mourning the body I used to have and wondering if I’d ever get it back.

The answer is: it’s not the same body, but in some ways it’s better.

I first came here in despair. I’d gained nearly 60 lbs. through pregnancy; over half my body weight. I was terrified. I’d never been overweight. My body was alien to me and I was scared of losing my husband because I did not remotely resemble myself. Though he would never leave me, my husband is the kind of man to whom physical appearance is very important. When I asked him, six weeks post-partum, when we were going to have sex again, he said: “When you lose the pregnancy weight.” Yes, I gave him hell, and yes he regrets saying it. But that really devastated me.

When nursing didn’t work, it dawned on me I had at least 45 lbs to lose without breastfeeding. I was so ashamed of my body. I hated it. I destroyed every photo of pregnancy and new-motherhood, except the one you see below. I wish I had them now, because I am secure enough to view it. I am not that woman.

Over the course of a year, I lost it all, plus some. I ran an hour every night, five days a week. It helps that I love to run! I did hand weights, yoga, pilates. Ate the food pyramid (www.mypyramid.gov). Today, I weigh my high-school weight. It really took the full year. For those post-partum like me, who are wondering how much can be changed, I cannot get my body back exactly as it was. I think the reason is loose skin from excessive weight gain. I will always have a pooch above the scar and I will always have some crepe paper skin when I bend. I will also, from time to time, always have the niggling voice that erodes my self confidence because my body is not that of a virgin! The smooth, flat tummy is gone. I can say with confidence that I have tried everything. Only a tummy tuck would change this, and I don’t want one. My body, to me (when I am rational!), is just fine. I can rock any outfit I want, including a bikini, and the stretch marks have completely faded. I am stronger than ever, our sex life is better than before, and we have an amazing boy. If I could say anything to new moms whose posts I read here, every day, I would say: Try. Even if you fail, you may really like what you end up with. I absolutely love my body and don’t regret a thing. Thank you to the moms who helped comfort and inspire me!

Age: 34
No. of pregnancies and births: 1/1
Age of children: 17 months

Photos: 3rd Trimester; Weight Loss 14 months PP; Pooch, Scar and Crepe Paper

Upset With My Body at 21 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 15 Comments

Hello everyone!! Im so glad I found this site where I can post pictures of my body and no one will be negative about it. After 9 long months I reached 38 weeks and nothing…No contractions, Cervix was closed, So on my 40th week appoiment My doctor gave me and iduction date. However a few days before my induction date I had a appoiment to check on the babys heartbeat. Her heartbeat started slowing down everyfew mins…I went so down that nurse quickly sent me to Labor and delivery. There, I started calling family and telling them. Doctors did a few different things with me to speed up the process. However my cervix didnt go past 3centimeters. They decided to wait a bit longer….They gave me the epidural and told me to try to sleep for a while. I fell asleep for like 5mins and all of a sudden like 5 or 6 doctors rushed into my room saying the babys heartbeat dropped really low and they moved me into different positions to get the baby to move. I was taken out the room by bed and was told I needed an Emergency C-section…As I was being brought into the Csection room I stated feeling cold, So cold that I started shaking a lot. I felt dizzy and felt like my body was just leaving…I started throwing up….About 30 minuted later my baby was out my stomach. I however didnt felt any better to hold her. I was shaking a lot and they cover me with blankets but that didnt worked…As soon as I saw my daughter I felt like I didnt want her, like I didnt loved her…I was taken into recovery room and I felt like crying, I really didnt feel like a mom because I believed my body failed since I wasnt able to give birth.. Even after being sent home I still felt like I wanted my baby.. I cried all the times because I didnt feel an attachment towards her…I wanted my baby delivered vaginally and wasnt able…Now Im 3 weeks PP and I feel so close to my babygirl….I love her dearly..Now my problem is my body..I hate it…I feel like my boobs have sagged a bit.. I think one is bigger thanthe other…I hate my strechmarks….and most of all I hate how my stomach hangs over my csection….I just hope im able to exercise all this away…..Thanks everyone…..

21..Age..
First pregnancy..
3 weeks PP