Breasts

Hello Again, Friends (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Previous post here.

This is my new entry :) I made a previous entry approximately a year ago describing my issues with body image and trying to love my body. Am I there yet? I wish I could say that I am but it is a long process. I have had my struggles and to be honest some days are better than others. Some days I feel like a sexy mamma ! Other days I wear baggy clothes and I want to hide my body. You just never know. What I feel has honestly helped is working out. I am extremely passionate about it. I am six years post p and I still have the stomach of loose skin and breasts that sag more than I like. Still, when I challenge my body in a work out I feel a million times better. I feel strong despite my negative emotions about my body. When I work out I feel like it doesnt matter that my skin sags in certain spots or that I have stretch marks. All I think about is being brace and strong. There are so many emotional stories on here. What I find motivating about this site is that even if you read a sad story about a woman who fears her new body, women comment to make her feel how she truly should, a strong woman, a tiger who should be worshiped for her contribution to this world even if you feel like the only one you ever made was your child. To have a child and raise a child whether you are old or young is an amazing thing. None of us do it perfectly and we all have regrets. Lets not make our bodies one of those regrets. When you only have one life to live why punish yourself for something like this? Embrace who you are and how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings and morn the old body but embrace what is new after that. Be healthy, eat healthy and try to think healthy as a whole. Focus on that amazing child of yours :)

I give all of the women on this site a lot of credit :) Every single one of you from all walks of life….one big thing in common. The life we brought into this world !

Here are some pics :)

– one pregnancy
– 6 years pp

The Clothes Hide the Ugly (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

Age: 19
One child who is 2 years old.

Hi, I love this site and love to see real bodies. I just wanted to confess that I have a mommy body. My stomach hangs like a W, I have stretch marks so large and small that cover my breasts, butt, stomach, hips, thighs, and behind the legs. And my breast are not full or perky. I am the most insecure woman you will ever meet. I wear baggy clothes to hide the muffin top and to avoid the mistake of accidentally showing my ugly stomach. I lost all my baby weight, but everything else still remains. All I want is for my stomach to be firm, the stretch marks to go away behind my legs so I can wear shorts, and for my boobs to look like 19 year old boobs. It bugs me everyday! Since the day I gave birth two years ago. I just want to feel confident and beautiful. Thanks for reading my story. =)

Turning Trauma into Triumph (Raashida)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Age: 26
Pregnancies/births: 1/1
1 year post partum

I am so glad I found this website! Here is my story: I had a petty easy and uneventful pregnancy. I had few to no pregnancy symptoms. Food craving, a little emotional and hypersensitive sense of smell but that’s about it. I was active duty military when I had my son and towards the end of my pregnancy I had a routine appt with a really rude and nasty, insensitive doctor. I call the commander and told him that I did not feel comfortable having my baby on base and begged and cried (literally) to be referred to an off-base hospital but they did not refer me and when I went into labor and showed up to the hospital that same horrible doctor was on call and it all went downhill from there. He talked down to me and told me basically that I didn’t go to medical school therefore I didn’t know what was going on in my own body. I was talked into getting an epidural and pitocin which put my son in distress and after 23 hours of labor I was rushed in for an emergency c-section (by a different more awesome doctor)

I was horrified and traumatized by the whole event not to mention this is my first baby and for a while I didn’t want anymore children. I filed complaint against that doctor and wrote him several letters letting him know how his terrible bedside manner forever changed my life and my view on doctors in general. For the first few weeks I did not feel connected to my baby because I was so distraught over having to lay on the bed and have him cut out of me when it could have been avoided. I felt very alone and depressed. Eventually I came out of the cloud and now I wouldnt trade my baby for all the stars in the sky :)

I struggle with my post baby body and disfiguring c-section scar and the painful memories that come rushing back every time I look at it. I don’t think I look horrible but I definitely don’t feel sexy anymore. I haven’t really worked out consistently since having my son so I know I could look a lot better with a little effort. (I am in the process of getting a personal trainer) I did bind my belly immediatley after surgery which helped tremendously in weight loss and shrinking my belly back down. I also breast fed.

4 Babies in 3 Years (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 12 Comments

Hi,
I’m 35, mother of 4 beautiful children.
My PP weight was in 110-120 range. My first – twin pregnancy my weight went up to 198 lb, I went back to 115 lb 9 month after.
18 after the twins I’ve had my third beautiful baby and my weight was up to 170 lb. Again I lost all extra weight by the 9th month after the delivery.
Two years later I’ve had my fourth baby and my weight went up to 165lb. I’ve managed to lose 35 lb, but the rest is still with me.
I feel as if I had been more athletic I could get in the better shape, but my flabby belly will always stay with me and I hate it.
My husband is being very supportive and still very attracted to me sexually which means a lot. In general I feel very proud of my children, my husband and myself. Right clothes, nice hair, lipstick and wedges – and carry myself like a model, makes people turn their heads whenever I get out with all of my babies who are 5,5,4 and 2 now and I feel good. Carry yourself tall, girls, and your bellies will look flatter and your breasts fill sit higher and everyone will see how gorgeous you really are.

Something I Cannot Fix (Marissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 17 Comments

Age:19
One daughter (Lily), one birth/pregnancy.

I gave birth at the age of 16. Big life change after that moment. I have done great as a mother and as a student. I tried to be perfect in every way and love my daughter to the fullest! She makes my day. =) But many obstacles have shown up, and i conquer them one by one. No one said it would be easy. But yet again, no ever said that your body would be least of your worries. I am insecure and depressed. At 140 lbs, 5ft4 I think about my weight everyday and about food. I hate mirrors and a flaw is always on my mind. It makes me feel worse. Stretch marks cover my breasts, under my arms, behind my legs and all over my stomach, butt and thighs. Why me? Every other teen who got pregnant was able to flaunt in a bikini the very next day. Why did i get all scarred up? It was sad when i had to hide in the changing rooms at school and girls would give me disgusting looks and tell me they hope they disappear soon. I sadly tell them they are permanent scars and they reply back, “Really? Ew. I will never get pregnant then.” It just bums you out when you have to be nervous about wearing shorts or having a muffin top. My stomach is like a w shape, and has loose skin. My breasts are small, but not perky and full. I want to feel beautiful and sexy. I just want to stop worrying about my looks. I just need to learn that i cannot fix it and move on. My toddler is the only thing that should matter to me. I love it when she grabs my belly and gives it kisses. I smile and tell her she once lived in there.

Miscarriage after giving my son up for adoption 20 years ago. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 17 Comments

I am a 37 year old mother I have a son whom I gave up for adoption at the age of 16 giving him a better life. Struggling with the thought of if I did the right thing all those years fighting suicide and many heartaches including cancer I managed to happily become pregnant last year and today would have been my babies due date. I was only 7w eeks along when I found out I was pregnant never missed a period, nothing I was so so excited when I finally heard the news I was having a baby the excitement was short lived I delivered a baby in my bathtub 2 weeks later with what I thought was just a kidney stone pain. It was the most excruciating heartbreaking time of my life. I had been cramping all day long but knew already I had a kidney stone something not rare for me. I was in so much pain I decided to get in the bath. Everything happened so fast I did not even have time to drive the 40 min from my small rural town to the city where the hospital was. When I entered the bath I had the most severe pain and started noticing small amount of blood my husband got me out and we went to research it on the computer, and called the dr. I could not find anything that truly explained what a miscarriage felt like what it looked like. My doctor called us back about 20 min later by this time I was already back in the bath trying to relieve the pain. I minutes later had a severe contraction which I now know was the pain and delivered my 9 week old baby.

We called our pastor and he came over and went to the hospital with us. I was bleeding so intensely and was in shock he and my husband boxed our lil baby up I was told by a cruel nurse to just flush it like it was a gold fish or something . We took it to the hospital with us and since it was considered a fetus there was nothing they could do at the hospital I was told I could take my baby and bury it at home in my flower garden or flush it or they could dispose of it. I was like really? How cruel its my baby. I chose to take it home and we buried it under a favorite tree with our pastor.

I am only writing this hoping I can be of help with someone hurting and or wanting to know what a miscarriage feels like . What a baby looks like I was told by the nurses at that size many do not even see their baby. They usually just pass it in the toilet. I however want others to know that I feel your pain and grieve with you. Your baby is your baby the minute you conceive. At 9 weeks I could make out his/her lil fingers , a lil mouth and even a nose. My body is not attractive anymore I received stretch marks when I was 16 with my son. I feel so ugly on the outside even at 37. I thought when I was in my 20s I would just get used to them and well they would fade , they have but are still there and I have a constant reminder that I gave someone a gift more precious than one could imagine.

Attached are 3 photos one of my miscarried baby last year and 2 of me 20 years after giving birth to my son stretch marks and all

Updated here.

30 Years in the Making (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

My journey from hating myself to, well, not hating myself as much.

Age: 30 Pregnancies: 1 Births: 1 via C-Section on 4/26/2011 Stay at home mom

I am almost 8 months PP and think I am finally becoming more comfortable with myself after being insecure for most of my life. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Isabella via Cesarean Section. I was 2 weeks past my due date and she was nowhere near where she needed to be. We found out that her cord was wrapped around her neck twice, and that if she did actually drop down into my pelvis, it would have been a much different outcome. She was a healthy 8.1 pounds and 21 inches and the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I gained close to 50 pounds with the pregnancy, and was 192 before I went into the hospital. 2 weeks after coming home, I wound up in the hospital with excessive bleeding that no doctor could determine where it was coming from. All these factors lead to a very long recovery time, over 2 months. Before I got pregnant, I was in the gym everyday working to make myself feel better about my body. I am a certified personal trainer, and know exactly what needs to be done to look your best and be at your healthiest (even at my healthiest, thinnest point, I had very, very low self confidence) . Well, after the birth it was a totally different story. I was so unhappy with my body, yet I was not doing anything about it. My husband would say I’m crazy for getting so upset. I would close myself in the bathroom and cry for long periods of time (still do). I was (am) so so so insecure with myself that I was convinced my husband was cheating on me. And oddly enough, this was ok for me, just sitting, doing nothing about it. Until one night I was feeling so sorry for myself for looking this way, that I was like “I can’t do this to myself anymore.” I signed up for weight watchers that night. When my husband came home from work on a break, I told him I joined up. After his initial reaction (what? Why?!? How much?!) I had to explain that I NEED HELP! At this point, there was no way I can do it on my own. He understood and has been supportive since. That was a month ago. I started at 166 pounds, and am now at 154.5. My belly will not go away no matter how much cardio I do, or how many ab workouts I do. I don’t like the way I look, and refuse to be totally naked in front of my husband. I’m working at it, but in my mind it’s just not coming fast enough. I want to be the girl my husband met 5 years ago. I want to be the thin girl with nice biceps that doesn’t get winded walking the 5 flights to my apartment. I want him to look at me and think damn, I’m lucky. In the past few days, I have thought about a lot of things. I’m not perfect, and I’m not a super model. I carried a little angel in my belly for 9+ months. I’m a good mom, and take care of my daughter and my husband as best as I can. I try to be as nice as I can to everyone I meet. I turned a house into a home, and have a killer personality (lol). I no longer think my husband is cheating on me. I know he loves me, and would do anything for me. I’m not thin, and I don’t think my poochy belly will every go away. But I won’t stop working at it. And that’s all I can do. Every day is a new chance to start over. I love my life, and soon I hope to love myself just as much. And if someone judges me by my weight, or thinks wow she can stand to lose a few pounds, I feel sorry for them. I wouldn’t trade Isabella for the best body in the world. I wanted to share my story because I know I am not alone in feeling this way, and would like to say that once you stop worrying about what other people think (jerks…) you really start to feel better with yourself. It only took me my whole life to realize this…

first picture: The year I met my husband – 135 lbs size 6
second picture: 23 (?) weeks pregnant
Third Picture: 7 1/2 months PP 154.5 lbs
fourth picture: my little Isabella

Growth (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Previous post here.

Age: 32
Number of pregnancies and births: Three pregnancies. Two births.
Number of Children: Two children. Ages 4.5 and 1.5
All photos have been taken 16 months after the birth of my second child.

I feel compelled to post here again because of how the site has grown.
Because of how I have evolved.
Because of how we-as women, as peers, as supporters of one another-have strengthened in mind and numbers.

My home is full of noise and I am full of pride.
My two beautiful children continue to teach me:

To slow down.
To listen.
To breathe.

I continue to tell myself to accept myself.
And I am. I am trying.

This thanksgiving may we all give thanks for the network we have created.
That we are creating.

Be kind to one another.
Fight for one another.
Love one another.

Love our children.
Love our children.
Love our children.

Finally Coming to Terms with My Body (TMB)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Growing up, I was always the skinny girl. As a teenager, I was 5’7″ and weighed 114 lbs. I never worked for it, I was just always skinny. I was a late bloomer so when I finally got curves and boobs, I loved wearing tight clothes and nothing made me happier than being able to wear a bikini. I got married to my high school boyfriend when I was 18 and when I was 21, we welcomed our first son. It was a fairly typical pregnancy and I didn’t get any stretch marks—until my ninth month. I was disappointed about that but after he was born, I slimmed down quickly and ended up being a size six, where as before I was a size four. Although I didn’t like the excess skin on my stomach or my slightly saggier boobs, I was thrilled with my new look. I finally looked like a woman; I had filled out a little bit and looked healthier. Then two years later, I had our second son. This pregnancy was a lot like my first, although my stomach got huge and I got even more stretch marks on there. After my second son was born, I assumed that I would slim down quickly like I did with my first pregnancy but no such luck. When I was still wearing maternity pants a month later, I went jeans shopping and was shocked when I fit into a size twelve. I cried and refused to buy any. But a month or so later, I couldn’t justify wearing maternity pants anymore and finally bought some in a size ten. It took over a year for me to get down to 134 lbs and a size eight, which is my current weight and size. For my height, that’s actually pretty healthy but I still hated my body. The sagging boobs bothered me but nothing bothered me more than my stomach. It was flabby, covered in stretch marks and I hated the way it stuck out when I sat down. It took my husband deploying and us having Skype “dates” for me to finally realize that my body isn’t horrible looking; it’s actually quite nice looking and I appreciate that it’s what brought my children into this world. I’ve begun to embrace my new shape and curves, stretch marks and all and although I have plans to improve it after I’m done having children, I no longer yearn for my pre-baby days and I can look at before pics of myself without feeling bad about how I look now. I still have bad days but they’re becoming less frequent. My husband is my biggest post baby fan; he loves my body and is forever telling me how sexy I look and for the first time since having my second son, I’m starting to see it too.

Age: 26
Number of Pregnancies and Births: 2
Age of My Children: 5 and 3, 3 years postpartum

Trapped in a Vicious Cycle (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions 17 Comments

Growing up I was always a skinny kid. I could eat the fattiest, greasy or sugar laden food in excessive quantities and not gain a pound. When puberty hit, I was blessed even more with the genes from my father’s side of the family, and grew big full breasts. Of course with puberty, comes a bit of weight gain and at 5’4″ and 105lbs at 14 years old, I looked healthy. Or so I thought. Some of the other girls called me fat and chubby, I’m guessing because they didn’t develop as much as I did. But that didn’t stop me from becoming self conscious and eventually developing an eating disorder.

Years later, I finished growing, left high school and met who is now my ex fiance. I was 5’7″ and 105lbs once again. The relationship I managed to get myself into was emotionally abusive. He’d call me a whale, should keep my clothes on, he could do so much better.. But since I was so used to the insults growing up, I didn’t think it was anything unusual. I yo yo’d between 105 and 95lbs. When I discovered I was pregnant 4 years into the relationship, I was 5ft7 and 104lbs.

I gained 54lbs during the pregnancy. I hated myself. I figured if I was fat at 105lbs then I must be morbidly obese at 159lbs. I delivered a 7lb 9oz girl in October 2006. My body hasn’t been the same.

I have stretch marks all over my bum, breasts, thighs and calves. My stomach is flabby and I can’t lose the last 10lbs no matter what I do. My once firm perky breasts are now deflated and sad looking. I have cellulite that just won’t leave.

I’m now married to a very loving man who thinks I’m beautiful and sexy. He has been trying for the last 3 years to build up my confidence, and it’s so strange to me to have someone that compliments me everyday. I can tell it bothers him when I disagree with his compliments, or he tries to touch my belly or bum and I push him away and get upset.

I thought after 5 years I would have at least accepted myself. Instead, I’m trapped in a vicious cycle of self loathing and depression. Maybe one day confidence will come back to me.

I have attached pictures of my belly and breasts at 5 years post partum.