Belly

Blessing In Disguise (Tiffany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, First Pregnancy, Infertility, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Triplets 19 Comments

Age: 28
1 pregnancy, 3 births
The babies are currently 18 months.

My husband and I had been trying for a year when we decided to seek help. Several tests later I’m fertile and his hormones suggest a pituitary tumor. A MRI concluded that he indeed had the tumor. Luckily we caught it early enough to be able to shrink it with medication. So no brain surgery was needed, thank God! He then went through a testicular biopsy and also started his medication. I started my daily injections of Gonal. A few months later I did IUI. I knew something was up a few weeks later when I woke up at 5am hungry beyond belief! I got out of bed and ate 5 Arby sandwiches in one sitting. Very unlike me. At 4’8 and 100 lbs I’ve always been a very light eater. A few weeks later I went back to the fertility doctor and learned that we were pregnant with triplets. I was so excited!!! However my doctor suggested that we talk to a selective reduction doctor since I am very small. I already knew what I wanted. I was going to keep all three babies. God gave me those three for a reason. He believed in me and I was going to carry out what he wanted for me. But I humored my doctor and saw the selective reduction doctor. He told me I would never be able to carry triplets with only being 4’8. He also thought two were identical and that their chances of surviving were very small. He suggested that I “eliminate” those two and keep the third. I walked out of that office and never looked back.

I never once had any problems throughout my pregnancy. I was still walking around shopping till the day I delivered. And the only reason I had to deliver at 33 weeks was because my dog stole my chocolate off the coffee table. My husband and I had been watching a movie when I had to take another potty break… probably my 100th time that night. LOL. I had been eating chocolate and left the remaining on the table. When I came back it was gone and I immediately knew what happened. I became enraged!!! I waddled out to the backyard where my dog was eating My chocolate and I took it back. Never mess with a pregnant woman’s food. Especially when she’s carrying multiples. I went back inside and threw it away. Of course I wasn’t going to eat it. But I wasn’t about to let that dog take my food. That was for me and my babies. I never got to get another piece. My blood pressure went through the roof. I started having visual disturbances, headaches, and nausea. I tried to get it back down by relaxing but nothing helped. So into the hospital I went.

On January 2, 2009 at 8:23 AM Noah Jacob was born. Then at 8:24 Dakota Rose was born. And my little peanut, Elijah Blue was born at 8:25 AM. Noah and Dakota weighed 4 lbs and Elijah weighed 3.1. Everyone was extremely healthy and came home the next month. And by the way, they were all fraternal unlike what the selective doctor originally thought.

I had gained 100 lbs topping the scales at 200 lbs. Breast feeding really helped to drop the weight. I was left with saggy skin. I made a Youtube video of it before I got my tummy tuck.

My plastic surgery was done in February. I’ve been working out hard ever since I got the ok from the doctor. I doubt that I’ll ever fit back into my size “0” jeans. As of now I’m 105 lbs and wear a size “1”. My hips definitely feel bigger and ache when I go from sitting to standing. I still have a bit of carpal tunnel, but it only bothers me from time to time. My body has changed so much since the triplets. It’s definitely not what it use to be. And losing weight is even harder now. But I wouldn’t change a thing. Not only did I get three, healthy, beautiful, babies… But we also caught my husband’s pituitary tumor in time thanks to the infertility. He took his meds and it went away that same year. He just went for his annual MRI and everything came back clear. Even though it was rough in the beginning it really did end Happily Ever After. Things are perfect. We are truly beyond happy… and I thank God every day for the life he has blessed me with.

Finding beauty in every imperfection (Jordan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

Age: 20
Number of pregnancies and births: 2,1
6.5 months pp

I’m going to start off by saying, this site is amazing, i absolutely love it and visit at least twice a week. I’ve posted once before at four months pp and here i go again. I am now six and a half months pp and am 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. It’s not really a goal for me anymore, i spend my time concentrating on my son, not my calorie intake and i’m kinda on the eat what i want diet. I guess I’ve always had kind of a high metabolism, i don’t gain a lot of weight, i just don’t lose any either :P

This summer i have been brave enough to wear my bikini (Yes, in public). I have stretch marks on my tummy, and i am not ashamed. I was somewhat unhappy with my “mother body” at first. Having the body of a teenager and seeing it change into the figure of a woman takes some getting used to. I see that i am still sexy, just in a different way. I wish that all of you would feel this way about your bodies. Appreciate your bodies, they gave you the greatest gift of all, the gift of giving life. So what you aren’t perfect. You will never be perfect, neither will I. Not because it isn’t possible. In our heads, we will all reach some sort of perfection. But simply because it doesn’t exist.

I am a stay at home mom, I love spending the day with my sweet boy but i wouldn’t mind getting a job. I miss it a little, even. I’m just a tad bit nervous about daycare.

Colin is a happy, healthy momma’s boy (daddy doesn’t spoil him as much as i do). He will be 7 months old in 2 weeks, i can’t believe it.. time flies. He weighs 24 lbs even and is 28 inches long. He is smart, and i couldn’t be more proud of him.. he is now saying “ma-ma” “ba-ba” and “hi”. He is sitting up all by himself and he loves sitting in his play pen playing with all his toys, his jumperoo and moving around the house in his walker.. We have been working on crawling, but no luck yet.. if you have any advice it would be much appreciated.

I am including a few photos, so all can see my wittle piggy and my bodys journey. Thanks to everyone who read, your all beautiful mama’s!

photos: 1) one year pre-preg 2) seven months preg 3) four days pp 4 & 5) five months pp 6) pretty recent 7) up close on boobs 8) up close on stomach 9) My handsome boy

Learning to Be Kind to Myself (Rebekah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breech Baby, Breech Birth, Child Loss, Homebirth, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

My age: 29
2 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, 1 birth
10 months postpartum

First I want to say thank you to all the brave women who have posted their stories and photos here. You have helped me to heal.

I also want to say to any women out there who are struggling right now: Your thoughts are powerful. I have brought myself to some dark places with negative thoughts. But you can choose to be kind to
yourself!

Here are some of the negative thoughts I have had (maybe you can relate):

I am ashamed of my body’s ugliness. I compare myself to other women who are more beautiful than me, who were lucky to have better genes. I grew up being told, as if I needed reminding, that I was not a “real
woman,” that I had scrawny legs, no hips, no butt. Pregnancy did not improve my body. I gained an embarrassing amount of weight and since having my baby I’ve worked hard to lose it all. But now I am covered in stretch marks and flab, and left with a belly more grotesque than I ever could have imagined. I had no idea all this would happen to me just from having a baby.

I gained more than 60 pounds in my pregnancy because I wasn’t careful. I was lazy. I over-ate. I was stupid and now I’m paying for it. My wrinkled belly is mushy, like an empty bag. Its texture is like a
wrinkled, doughy brain. It’s alien; it’s disgusting. It’s the belly of an old decrepit woman. My belly button was once cute; now it’s a deep, droopy hole. My breasts are pendulous—they hang down like tube
socks full of sand. They are asymmetrical, unattractive, saggy, and covered in blue veins. They’re not supposed to lie down on my stomach like this.

Why didn’t I appreciate the smooth belly and perky breasts when I still had them? Why couldn’t I have been one of the lucky ones who got to keep their youthful bodies? It is so unfair and I am so angry!

What the hell has happened to me? My body is disfigured, destroyed, no longer youthful, no longer sexy. I feel so sorry that I’m not desirable for my husband anymore, because he deserves better. I know he doesn’t feel the same passion for me anymore, and why would he?

I will need to hide my belly for the rest of my life now, under long shirts. I don’t want anyone to see me because I know I’m not normal. Nobody else I have ever seen in my life has a belly like this! It’s
not just a few little stretch marks—my skin hangs in big loose wrinkles—my skin is DESTROYED. Nothing I do short of surgery can fix it. As if the loose skin isn’t bad enough, my butt, hips, and thighs are covered in scars—stretch marks so deep they have left deep grooves in my once-smooth skin.

I would like to wear a bikini proudly but I’m afraid that people will stare and wonder what’s wrong with my belly, give me pitying looks, suggest a tummy tuck. Other women will secretly take pleasure in my
disfigurement because it places me below them. Men will look at me with interest until they get close enough to see the details, and then they will be horrified and turned off.

I look fine with clothes on, with a bra holding my breasts up where they’re supposed to be, with clothing covering all the wrinkles, and I feel like a walking lie. Other women compliment me on losing the baby
weight, and tell me they’re jealous of my figure. I accept the compliments and feel like a fake. I purposely project an air of confidence but it’s all fake, fake, fake. What would everyone think if they saw me naked? Any man who saw me naked would be disgusted. Why would any man, my husband included, choose to look at ME when there are so many perfect women to look at? I am a has-been, not even 30 yet and past my prime. I no longer matter and I am so ashamed, so depressed.

And HERE is me choosing to be kind to myself:

I am a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! I am petite, but with a curvy and feminine shape. I am healthy, sexy, voluptuous, lush, long, limber, strong, soft, admired and even envied for my lovely body.

When I was pregnant my body did exactly what it needed to do, in its innate wisdom. I was a good mother from the start, and I took good care of my baby and myself while I was pregnant. I walked and did yoga. I spent so many hours reading and researching. I carefully planned my meals to make sure my baby got the nutrients he needed. I didn’t do anything wrong. I suffered through great discomfort with grace.

I celebrate my beautiful belly, my womb, and what it has done. I gave birth to my strong and healthy son, breech, at home, with a 7-hour labor, only 30 minutes of pushing and no tearing—that is a feat to be proud of! My body has everything it needs to bring new life into the world—to nurture a tiny cluster of cells and help it grow into a fetus, into a happy little boy, into a new PERSON in this world! That in itself is mind-boggling. I have given birth to a child. I have been a vessel for NEW LIFE. I am directly in tune with all the creative forces of the universe. My feminine abilities are pure, raw, and intense. I am creative energy in action! I am in awe of my womanhood and my body. I am so BLESSED to have been born female.

My belly is normal. There are many different types of postpartum bellies, and many other beautiful mothers have similar soft layers and networks of wrinkles. The skin of my belly is delicate, velvety and interesting. I am happy to bear the marks of motherhood (and such unique and fascinating marks at that!) The stretch marks on my thighs, butt, hips, breasts and belly are starting to fade to silver. They are gorgeous tiger stripes. The grooves of the deeper ones create a sexy texture on my thighs, like built-in fishnet stockings.
They’re cool!

My breasts are full and sensual with a pleasant weight to them. They make sweet, nutritious milk for my baby. He drank nothing but the milk from my breasts for 6 months and it made him grow big, strong and
healthy. At 10 months old, he still gets most of his nutrition from my milk, which keeps him happy and secure. My breasts are a source of delight, comfort and nourishment.

My husband is not bothered a bit by the changes to my body. He still finds me as irresistible as ever, and more importantly, I am the mother of his child. He now views me with a new kind of pride, love and respect. He sees me as a beacon of strength. I am his lady, his rock.

It is wonderful to be alive. It is wonderful to experience the gift of motherhood, and I am blown away with gratitude for my life and my family. I am capable of a love that transcends words. I am capable of far more than I realize. My body is beautiful, but my spirit is even more beautiful, and it shines through. I am beautiful!

I have been through a lot of changes, and feelings of loss and self-doubt are to be expected. They are a normal and healthy part of new motherhood. I am allowed to feel them in passing, but I will not let them rule me. I can choose a positive attitude.

I am only 10 months postpartum and the transformation my body has undergone, from small to gigantic to small again, is nothing short of incredible. My body, even now, is still changing. I must be patient and gentle with myself. I choose to respect my body and take good care of it. My many hours of hard work exercising and eating healthful foods are paying off. My healthy glow is apparent to all who see me. I choose to give myself and my body the same unconditional love and reverence I give to my beautiful son as I watch him grow.

And I may have to work up to it, but I KNOW in time I will have the courage and confidence within me to rock that bikini, in public, in the full light of day. Other people and their twisted cultural standards be damned!

Pictures 1-3 are my beautiful, pre-baby body. Picture 4 is my beautiful 37-week pregnant belly, full of life. 5-7 are my beautiful wrinkly belly, beautiful droopy breasts, and beautifully tiger-striped hip at 10 months postpartum. 8-10 are me rocking my bikini! (This is in the privacy of my back yard, in front of only my husband. I have yet to show my belly in public but I will get there!) And pictures 11-12 are my son, at 2 months and 7 months.

Getting Used to My New Body (Katie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 4 Comments

I was 20 years old when I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I were very excited because the month before I find out was the month we decided to start TTC so we were excited and shocked that it happened so quick! Well i started noticing my stretch marks when I was 35weeks and started to feel down about my body. (I turned 21 while I was pregnant) I kept telling my husband this is not the body of a 21 year old. I started looking at old pictures of my body in bathing suits. My husband kept reassuring me I was beautiful and that he didn’t marry me for my body and that he loved me. I had my daughter in June the day after my husbands birthday. My water broke on his birthday (what a wonderful gift :) ). The labor was a little rough my daughter had what the Dr’s called a traumatic birth. She had her cord double wrapped around her neck..and she was not crying when she was born. She failed the Apgar test 2 times no one told me what was going on (which I was thankful for) but I just knew something was not right….then I heard her beautiful crys and the tears just came in. We almost lost our little girl and I am so glad she is here with us today. When I look at my body I just look at my Daughter and think who cares what my body looks like I have a beautiful little girl to show for it…and I almost didn’t have her. I am thankful to God for giving me a healthy, beautiful baby girl :)!

Age: 21
Births/Pregnancies: 1
My child is: 2 months old

Why Can’t I See What He Sees? (GG)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 21 Comments

26 years old
1 pregnancy
2 babies (twins) boy and girl.

My husband is such a wonderful man. He sees in me the most beautiful and sexy woman alive. Why can’t I see that?? All I see is fat here and there and everywhere! I see imperfections and that is it. My stomach is ugly with stretch marks and saggy on my lower abdomen. My legs are fat! They have always been fat but now they are fatter. Every time I see myself in pictures I feel disgusting. I want to cry!!! I see my twin sister who had her baby four months ago and is so skinny. I see my cousin who just had twins who already lost all her baby weight and then some. I see everyone around me so thin and I feel so ugly. All I feel when people look at me is embarrassment because I can only imagine what they must be thinking of how fat I look. I realize that is probably not the case but I feel that way. It makes me want to run and hide. I had someone at work mention that I was fat and I need to breastfeed in order to lose that weight. Do you know what that comment did to me? It made me feel disgusting and ugly. I felt like a failure. I wanted to cry. I want to cry right now! I hate looking in the mirror but I still do! I pick at every imperfection and cry about it. My question is: Why can’t I see that person my husband sees? You should see how he looks at me. He is all over me when I get out of the shower or when I change. Why can’t I see that woman? If it weren’t for him I think I would’ve have gone insane about how fat and ugly I am. You know, I come to this site and see so many pictures of you ladies and I wish I would look half as good as all of you. I decided to post how I feel and see if I can break free from all this bad attitude towards my body so, I decided to take pictures of me as I am. I want to learn to love me. The mother of two beautiful babies who make my day with just one smile. Who I wouldn’t trade for anything, not even for my pre pregnancy body. I came here so that all that I put above is part of my past and of how I FELT about myself. After this I want to start clean and I want to see that sexy diva my husband sees in me. Thank you all for posting your stories and giving me hope.

4 Babies – 3 Years (Malissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 5 Comments

I am a mother to 4 beautiful little girls: 2 year old fraternal twins, 15 month old, and a 3 month old. All were carried to term and born vaginally. Pre babies I weighed about 140 and was in pretty descent shape and now post partum I weigh 174.

My story started three years ago when I met my now husband and had the shock of my life when I missed my period a mere month after we had met. Low and behold I was pregnant and pregnant with twins at the age of 20. My twins were born healthy at 5lbs 2oz and 5lbs 14oz on January 8th, 2008. When our twins were about 8 months we found out we were expecting again. This time only one. She was born on April 23rd, 2009 weighing 8lbs even. My husband had gotten a vasectomy and we thought we were in the clear but obviously not because I began feeling nauseous and I’m not one to get sick often we knew baby number 4 was coming. Fortunately we had baby number 4 this year on April 2nd, 2010 and she weighed 8lbs 9oz. Things were not planned but hey when you do the deed you’re bound to get pregnant. Luckily now for sure my husband is in the clear and there will be no more babies for us. Four is a lot but also a blessing. I am a stay at home mother and love my kids and would do anything for them. At times I do get down on myself not looking like I did pre-babies but have to step back and realize my body has been through thick and thin for the past 3 years and has given birth and held 4 beautiful little angels. I may not like it all the time but it’s my body. I realized that no matter what my husband and kids all still love me no matter how ugly my skin may feel to me or look to me at times. I am slowly starting to embrace my new found body and looking at each stretch mark as a mark of love my children have given me. I am now 23 and love looking at my beautiful girls each day. Knowing I carried each one of them amazes me.

Like a Road Map (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

Age: 34
Pregnancies: 7
Births: 4
Kids’ Ages: 16,13,11,8 ALL girls
8 Years Post Partum

“What happened?” said the young boy, “Did your baby scratch you?”

This is the moment I discovered the awful truth that would impact the rest of my life. I had stretch marks. Back story: I was a 5’10” model who weighed 120lbs soaking wet. I was 17 when I conceived my first child, and pretty happy about it actually. My pregnancy was calm, serene and basically uneventful, until my friend’s son uttered the above quote. I couldn’t see the underside of my belly, so I immediately went home and broke out the hand mirror. There they were. Approximately 4 tiny, purple, stretchmarks. Two on each side of my giganormus belly. “Oh well.” I thought. “They’re little, no biggie.” However these scars grew exponentially for the next three weeks until I delivered my healthy 8lb baby girl. I didn’t think of them during labor, delivery, or recovery of course. I was too busy falling in love with my baby. But when I got home I decided to shower and change into a nice pyjama for easy nursing. There was a full-length mirror in the room and I didn’t immediately recognize myself at first glance. But when I did, I cried at the sight of my huge, painful boobs and belly full of ugly stretch marks. “They are the stars and stripes of motherhood!” my mom said. Well, I am not that patriotic of a mother I suppose. I literally mourned my former body for the next decade or so. Not only did puberty just grant me that “kick ass” body I had always dreamed of, but mother nature came and took it away! And only after a completely natural and painful birth. To make a long story short, covering my belly has been a goal since that day. Swim suit shopping often ends in me crying in some department store dressing room. Three kids later, my youngest taught me a lesson. I was wearing a tee-shirt, and my lil one was cuddling with me on the couch-both of us in sleepy mode.

“What are these mom?”
“They’re stretch marks, hun.”
“How’d they get there?”
“My tummy stretched a lot when you girls lived in there.”
“Well it looks like a map! With a lot, A LOT of freeways!”
“Yeah, thanks Paisley. It does look like a map.”

That stung, but then she started doing something odd. She traced the stretch marks one by one with her fingers and said-get this:

“I think they’re pretty! They are all shiny like satiny. And all the stretch marks are the map to where I came from!”

I kissed her forehead, and remembered exactly why I should not be ashamed to have them. They kind of are the map to where my kids came from. Its been an honor and a blessing to be their mommy, and I would not trade it for anything, especially minor vanity.

Update! Slowly learning to love my new body! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

I had posted 10 months ago about how much I hated my body and how much I envied all of the thin girls I see day in and day out. I am proud to say (although I have not lost a single pound) I am now slowly learning to love my body and be proud of it! I took this picture and keep it with me to look at when I’m feeling down or ugly. For some reason I just feel so good about it! I know I’m nowhere near where I want to be but I think I’m finally ok with it! Hopefully things will just keep getting better and better from here!

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 20 months

081210-anon-1

A Healthier Lifestyle (Georgia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 9 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

Age: 25
Pregnancies: 1 Births: 1
Weeks PP – 13

I thought I would give another update on how things are going. Im 13 weeks post partum. Loving every minute of being a mommy. I have lost all of my pregnancy weight, plus 8 pounds more. I have been doing, Lindsay Brins postnatal bootcamp dvd workout. Saved my life! Lol.

My husband and I decided 3 months ago to change our lifestyle. Get in better shape and eat better, so we can be healthier for our son. He lost 20 pounds and is very fit now, I lost 15 pounds and have trimmed up a bit. There are still good days and bad days. Sometimes Im like “Whos breasts are those? So deflated and soft..” and “Why wont the layer of fat on my tummy go away?!” other days I think “Im looking pretty dang good for 13 weeks PP..” .. I think no matter what we will have these good days and bad days.

I hope someday when I have a daughter.. my unhealthy relationship with my body will have changed.. I never want her to think shes not good enough. I want to show her how to live a healthy lifestyle and love herself. My mother never showed me that.

Anyway this will be my last update until 1 year post partum.

Pictures: My before and afters (1 week PP and 13 weeks PP), my son, my son and I, and my little family. ( If you want pics of me pre baby, please see my previous posts =) )

Thanks for reading! and hang in there ladies! Remember: “Be miserable or motivate yourself, whatever has to be done, its always your choice..”


Updated here.

My Story of Childbirth (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 7 Comments

i had just left school,starting college when i found out i was pregnant, at the start i didnt know what to do. i was so scared and alone. i was in a relationship with a man i loved for 6months but knew for a long time before,but the last thing i thought of was being pregnant!
i went to the local doctor who comfirmed i was 8-9 weeks preg and examined me etc and booked me into a hospital. at the time i was 16 and had to think of how i was going to tell my mum and dad! dad was great about it,mum was a little annoyed. but it could of been worse i could of been dying etc!

my man was also fine. just came as a shock to every one. my first scan was 12 weeks and i was that early they had to do an internal scan. this is the day we found out we were havin two babies and not one,i was laughing and crying at the same time, anthother shcok to tell everyone, seeing my lil babies on that screen made so proud that i could be the mother carrying these precious little things. i didnt think it would be possible. i had always been slim and around 8 stone for my 5.6 height. the doctor told me to take it easy as i was so young and that my frame weight etc mite make it hard for me to carry to full term. that got me worried.

i started showin after 3 months ,a little baby bump it was so cute.after 5 months i just got bigger and bigger lol. i was never sick alot but i had heartburn every single day all ay long i hated it! every scan went great,no problems wat so ever. i was soo happy.

i got nearer and nearer my due date i started to worry about the labour i was scared. reality was kickin in that these babies wernt staying inside me forever.
the hospital told me they were goin to start me at 39 weeks. my waters broke the night before i went into hospital but labour was slow and tiring so they gave me a drip to start my contractions and i got an epidural. contractions were sore and the pressure of delivering the babaies was horrible. i was glad thje pain was over and
both my little babies were healthy and ok, twin 1 was the smallest at 5.5 pounds and the 2nd twin was 6.5. i had stiches and was home in 3 days.

i wouldnt change a thing apart from my belly now. it really makes me feel down and although i know i should be proud of what i have acheived but i cant. i would love a tummy tuck but couldnt afford it. i am trying to lose a bit of weight as i am 10 stone now. and at 5.5 height that is overweight,it is hard to keep motivated!
ihave really small boobs now,34b size and stretch marks over them and my belly and sides. all my weight seems to go to my hips now.

i read stories on her and im amazed by some of them use are all very strong minded woman and i wish i was like that x