5+ Years Postpartum

Hello Again, Friends (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Previous post here.

This is my new entry :) I made a previous entry approximately a year ago describing my issues with body image and trying to love my body. Am I there yet? I wish I could say that I am but it is a long process. I have had my struggles and to be honest some days are better than others. Some days I feel like a sexy mamma ! Other days I wear baggy clothes and I want to hide my body. You just never know. What I feel has honestly helped is working out. I am extremely passionate about it. I am six years post p and I still have the stomach of loose skin and breasts that sag more than I like. Still, when I challenge my body in a work out I feel a million times better. I feel strong despite my negative emotions about my body. When I work out I feel like it doesnt matter that my skin sags in certain spots or that I have stretch marks. All I think about is being brace and strong. There are so many emotional stories on here. What I find motivating about this site is that even if you read a sad story about a woman who fears her new body, women comment to make her feel how she truly should, a strong woman, a tiger who should be worshiped for her contribution to this world even if you feel like the only one you ever made was your child. To have a child and raise a child whether you are old or young is an amazing thing. None of us do it perfectly and we all have regrets. Lets not make our bodies one of those regrets. When you only have one life to live why punish yourself for something like this? Embrace who you are and how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings and morn the old body but embrace what is new after that. Be healthy, eat healthy and try to think healthy as a whole. Focus on that amazing child of yours :)

I give all of the women on this site a lot of credit :) Every single one of you from all walks of life….one big thing in common. The life we brought into this world !

Here are some pics :)

– one pregnancy
– 6 years pp

Mother of 3 (Misty)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 20 Comments

Age: 31
3 pregnancies. 3 live births.
Children ages: 14, 12, 10 (All girls)
I am 10yrs postpartum

I am 31yrs old, and the mother of three girls, ages 14, 12, and 10. My first two daughters were born natural, and my last daughter was born by cesarean. I had my first daughter when I was 16, my second daughter when I was 19, and my third daughter when I was 21. It wasn’t until my second daughter, that I developed saggy skin on my stomach area.

This was very hard for me to deal with. I was only 19 at the time, and I felt that I was no longer sexy, and desirable. My self-esteem was affected greatly, for years to come.

I tried everything that I could to look better. I even starved myself down to 105lbs. Nothing I did, could take away the lose skin. I wanted plastic surgery so bad, but I could never afford it.

I breastfed all my children, and I had voluptuous breast at that time. But, the minute that I stopped breastfeeding, my boobs shrank to smaller than an A. This was hard for me to deal with as well. I felt that I had lost all my sexual attractiveness. I couldn’t wear anything that showed my stomach, and my breasts were too small to fit into any bras. It was very stressful.

About 1 yr ago, I gained around 30lbs, and went from 130lbs to 160lbs. The only benefit to this was that my breast got a little bigger. Currently I am trying to lose weight due to health issues.

I wish that I could say that over the years I no longer worry about my body. But, that’s not true. I have accepted the way that it is, but I don’t like it. I live in a college town, so it is really hard for me when I see all the young girls running around in the summer time. Sometimes I still feel like I’m not a woman, or sexy like other women. I feel like I missed out on having a youthful body since mine was messed up at such an early age.

I have had men say very mean and hurtful things about my body, and my body has kept me from doing a lot of things, and having confidence to do things.

But, with that all said, my children are the light of my life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even the sexiest body in the world, or riches galore. I love you Marissa, Alanna, and Senora!!

The Shape of Our Hearts (Christina Plant)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Hips, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 28 Comments

age: 35
pregnancies 3
births 3
childrens ages: 14, 12, 9 (all boys!)
(this makes me nine plus years postpartum)

There is a fire in all of us. Sometimes I only have enough to keep the pilot light on. Sometimes I’m a torch. A bonfire. Sometimes, I am a wildfire- unruly and all-consuming.

I’ve been a mother for almost 14 years- I suppose it’s more accurate to say almost 15 years- how could I leave out the 9.5 months of my first pregnancy! I have three sons and the age span between the oldest and youngest is less than 5 years.

Today I am on fire! High and blazing. Excited and eager to live and breathe and make each day count. I make fitness a high priority, but I find that the aesthetic benefits are just a side affect of what taking care of my body does for me. I like feeling good in my own skin and when women ask me how it is that I am in such good shape after having 3 kids I do not hesitate to say “I work my ass off” with a totally straight serious face. That is exactly what I do. I’m a runner. I run about 20-30 miles a week. I MAKE the time for it- it’s as important as wiping my butt, or brushing my teeth or taking a shower. While we could survive without doing these things, if we fail to do these things regularly, we put our health at risk. I feel the same way about exercise. It’s an important part of maintaining your life. I also watch my diet- I make healthy choices and enjoy treats and indulgences about once a week. I keep anything that I absolutely love devouring out of my home.

I can’t help but notice that I’m in better shape than most of my oldest son’s female friends. I’ve heard people say to him “is THAT your mom?” and I must admit, it gives me a confidence boost.

There have been times when my fire was weak. I was that down, self-deprecating out of shape woman that looked at fit women and wondered if I would EVER feel or look as good as they do. I thought they had some special gift that I did not. Genetics. Will power. Money to hire a trainer or a personal chef. Blablablabla. But they aren’t special. They’re no better or worse than you or I. You cannot see inside their hearts. They may be fit for the wrong reasons. None of us are perfect. The photos you see that show flawless bodies are like a mirage. They aren’t real. What truly matters is what is in your heart. How is your fire? Does it burn for you and your passions and your goals, whatever they might be?

You can’t show the “shape” of a person’s heart in a photo. But if we wanted and if we are brave, we can show our hearts by showing who we really are. Some of the “worst looking” photos of me capture priceless moments. Who cares if it’s taken at a bad angle or my hair is unkempt? Did you ever stumble across a social network profile and notice that EVERY photo of that person shows them with flawless makeup, perfectly groomed, at their best angle, or smiling just perfectly? What does it mean when we hesitate to share our “real” moments- the ones where vanity and image are irrelevant because we’re too busy uhm… living???

I am not afraid of “looking” bad while living well. Upon finding this site, I too quickly realized how easy it is to see and believe photos like this:

or this:

Not bad, right? That’s me! I am 5’3″ and had 3 babies. The first one was 10 lbs 1 oz. I was 206 lbs right before delivery. The second one was 8 lbs 13 oz. Since I was chasing a toddler through that pregnancy, I only weighed in at 170 lbs before delivery. The third one was induced EARLY and weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and I was well over the 200 lb mark 2 weeks before his due date!

But we forget that there is NO such thing as perfection and here is the proof:

My tattoo is almost 16 years old and has some impressive battle scars, don’t you agree?

Here is a side shot of my lower abs and thigh:

What CAN’T you see in all of these photos? My heart. My fire. My passion for feeling alive. You can’t plainly see it from the outside on anyone can you? There is no way- perhaps because it is beyond what our eyes can see. The shape of our bodies and what we see in the mirror shouldn’t be the most important thing. We need to nurture the shape of our hearts.

Updated here.

You’re Beautiful to Me (Angela)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 18 Comments

~Age: 44
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 14 & 11 years old

I find it ironic that I appreciate my body now more than I did when it was a relatively tight little thing in high school. I used to curse what I called a “pot belly” and would wear oversized sweatshirts to hide it. Over two decades later my tight little pot belly is softened, scarred and sagging in places, yet I can now look in the mirror and rejoice in the beauty of my body. I no longer try to hide it, but wear clothes that reveal my curves and in which I feel feminine and sexy. I also now know that my body is not just for looks and I appreciate and feel grateful for all its blessings. First of all, it gets me through my life just fine: I walk, skip and dance. I give and receive hugs. I make love. I’ve made and nourished babies. I am strong, flexible and healthy!

When I see teenaged girls and young twenty-somethings with bodies similar to the one I had, I just laugh to myself and think “I used to have that cute little body and I didn’t even appreciate it!” When I see teenaged girls and young twenty-somethings with bodies larger than the one I had wearing cute outfits and strutting their stuff confidently, I am filled with a longing to have had that kind of confidence when I was their age.

I didn’t treat myself very well as a young woman and I now ask her for forgiveness: “Forgive me, dear girl, for not appreciating you. Forgive me for discounting your beauty and your worth. Forgive me for trying to hide you and all your love and light from the world.”

But how did I get from self-loather to self-lover? It’s something I’ve been actively working on since my late twenties when someone suggested I look into my own eyes in a mirror and tell myself “I love you.” Have you ever tried that? I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with myself! But I did it anyway, even though I felt like a liar as I uttered the words.

After I had children, I was struck by the way they and my husband loved to touch my belly; they told me it felt good! So I tried it. I closed my eyes and pretended I had no judgements about my belly. I touched, caressed and kneaded. I felt the texture of the skin, the softness of the fat and the firmness of the muscle. I felt the smooth parts and the bumpy parts; the taught parts and the parts that fold over. I was surprised that I was actually enjoying this very sensual experience! From that moment on I vowed not only to look at myself in the mirror lovingly and appreciatively, but to touch myself lovingly and appreciatively as well, and I can honestly say that I now mean it when I tell myself “I love you!”

In case you’re wondering, YES I still treat myself unkindly at times! If my clothes don’t look or feel right for whatever reason, I can easily spiral into a desperate place. If I’m going somewhere where I think there might be people who may judge me harshly, I feel anxiously insecure. Luckily, I’m very creative with clothes and I’ll try on item after item until I come up with a combination in which I feel at least presentable. And I feel grateful to my husband for being so patient while I fling clothes all over the room as I make us late for a party.

I’ve learned to be very kind and patient and compassionate with the self-loather in me. After all, she’s just a girl who got hurt by some pretty insensitive and sometimes cruel remarks when she was at the tender and confusing age of adolescence. She’s still trying to protect me by hiding me. It’s up to me, the woman I’ve become, to hold her lovingly and calm her fears: “It’s OK sweety – you’re beautiful to me!”

121410-angela-1

Flames (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Back, Child Loss, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 2 Comments

I am a 37 yo mama of two children. I have been pregnant 3 times: one miscarriage, one natural birth in the hospital, and one home birth. My children are now 14 and 11 years old. I paint my stretch marks every Halloween as flames to honor the power of my body and the love I feel for my children! They have changed me body, mind, and soul.

120710-heather-1

Five Years Postpartum (Stephanie)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

age 33
1 pregnancy

I really loved this website when I came across it. It is great to see what real moms look like not what the media makes up feel like we should look like. I gained 40 pounds with my son but have since lost all the extra weight but my body will never be the same. Even though I weigh less then I did before I had him I now have a little belly and loose skin on my stomach as well as a nice c-section scar and strech marks from breasts to my inner thighs. My breasts are quite a bit saggier then prepregnancy as well but whenever I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see I try to remember what a great thing I got to go along with all my new imperfections.

120610-stephanie-1

Will I ever love this skin? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 17 Comments

I’m a 31 year old mother of one beautiful tween girl whose now 11. I really miss the baby days. :( I had her at 20 and I had gained 85 pounds. I have stretch marks in every conceivable place a woman can have them. I have them on my flanks, my buttocks, my hips, my belly, my breasts, my underarms, the back of my knees, my thighs (inner and outer), near my groin area, and I even have faint ones on the outside of my upper arms. It’s been a constant struggle over the years to live in this body and be happy with it.

I’ve bought into the idea that women aren’t supposed to get older and lose their shape and for years I’ve been my own worst enemy. And having a couple of jerks for boyfriends in the past didn’t help matters much either. I haven’t gotten over it yet and I’m not sure I ever will. Maybe when I’m really old, feeble and gray, it won’t matter anymore. Some days I hate myself, and others, I have incredible self-esteem. I no longer want to diet, or obsess about exercise, but at the same time, I don’t want to let myself go either. I want to find a happy medium if it exists. But I am blessed and thankful I have a wonderful husband of 9 years and a terrific daughter who thinks I’m beautiful no matter what.

Reading your stories and seeing your pictures really inspires me. Although it makes me cry, it has compelled me to show myself to you so that maybe I might find some peace in this inner silent but screaming turmoil. Maybe together we can feel strong and empowered and proud of who we are and by the long journeys we’ve traveled to arrive here. Thank you so much.

Twin Tummy, 5 yrs Post-partum (Anonymous 83)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

I’m 33 now, our oldest son is 8 and the twins (boy & girl) are 5. Both pregnancies were term and all babies big and healthy (Oldest son – 8lbs, 9oz…twin daughter – 6lbs, 9oz…twins son – 7lbs, 6oz). Twins had to be induced at 40 weeks + 1 day (40 weeks is term for twins)… I was fortunate not to need a c-section and the deliveries were safe, and uneventful (except that it was x2 !). I was so proud of myself for carrying the twins so long and growing them so big and healthy inside me. Never even considered what that massively stretched tummy might look like after they vacated. Hmmm.

My pride for creating and delivering 3 healthy kiddos outweighs my vanity when I consider how my stretchy tummy came to be. But I don’t think of my loose skin and stretch marks are ‘badges of honour’ — I would be quite happy to be rid of them soon (I’m saving for a tummy tuck and hope to have it completed before I am 40)… just as one wouldn’t think twice about getting braces for a child with badly aligned teeth… I don’t think there is anything wrong with altering your body to better represent how you feel about yourself (I don’t feel like a woman with a poochy tummy — I still feel like a hot mama!). But until I change my tummy, this is what it looks like…I don’t mind it… I don’t mind my husband and kids seeing it, I don’t mind sharing it with other moms. But it’s not the way I want the rest of the world to see me, so I wear clothes that keep it under wraps and lord knows NO BIKINIS!

Counting my blessings & keeping it in perspective (but still checking myself out in the mirror :)

081209-anon83-1

12 Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

I’m 36 and three months pregnant with number two!! I’ll be 37 at delivery, so I’m technically an “older mom” although I don’t feel like one. My son Zac is 12, so I spaced them out a bit :) I actually posted here a few years ago, just as I was starting to think about having another baby. It’ll be fun to take this journey again as an older and wiser momma. My first pregnancy was awesome, and this one will be awesome plus 12 years. 12 years of gaining insight on things that matter, and calming the hell down about things that don’t. This site helps us all to do that I think. I just felt compelled to include you among my friends to share the happy news with. Here’s me and the new kid at 12 and a half weeks.

070609-anon3-1

Postpartum 21 and 25 years later – 3rd post (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Art, Belly, Breasts, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

Original entries here and here.

I have posted recent photos of me twice before, but now I have a beautiful drawing a friend did, from the only photo I have of me pregnant, almost 26 years ago, 2 days before my son was born. I am going to display this in my lounge – my sons and some friends may be prudish but I have no shame and am so proud of this lovely, sensitive drawing he did especially for me.

061209-anon-1

061209-anon-2