Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

My Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions 2 Comments

31 years old
1 Pregnancy/c-section
Almost 3 year old. Born 10pound 4ounces

I always thought my tummy was the way it was cause my little boy was so big and I was the only one with it, and the only weight I out on during pregnancy was all baby. I’ve often said to my husband how I’d like a tummy tuck after another baby. My little pouch feels so pronounced in pants and skirts like a little lump that just sits there and jiggles. I have been very lucky to not have too much excess skin or stretch marks. I’ve lost 10kgs since having my boy which has made it better and a little flater but over time and more so the last 12 months, I’ve come to love it, love it cause that’s where my boy came from AND I’m loads more body confident than I’ve ever been to the point I wore a bikini at Christmas time. This is big for me cause I have NEVER worn a bikini ever in my life. It was quite a profound moment and I’m so proud of myself for not caring.

Happy for any usage of the story Bonnie and pictures attached. Thankyou for your site, it’s truly amazing!!!!

Worth it All (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Mothers with Health Complications, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies and births: 8 pregnancies- 6 births, 2 miscarriages
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 8,6,5,4,3,2

I don’t even know where to start! I have been coming to this site for so many years…looking through photos and comments, getting the reassurance that I so desperately needed about my body. I am 30 years old and my husband and I have been married for 10 years. After we had been married for 2 years, we had our first child- then had 5 more in the next 5 years lol. I did have 2 miscarriages in the mix, but having a child every year for 6 years really made my body go through so many changes. I gained a lot of weight with each pregnancy…I am 5’4″ and weighed 127 on my wedding day, and 135 before we started having kids… and got up to 200 pounds with most of the pregnancies. I would get into the 140’s between pregnancies only to go right back up! But after my last baby was born 2 years ago, I just worked as hard as I could and now weigh 130, sometimes a few pounds less and sometimes a few pounds more.

I did not know that my last pregnancy would be my last…I wanted more kids. But I got sick. I am disabled now and cannot have anymore. I go to the doctor every 3 weeks, am on a lot of medication, and cannot exercise or work out like I used to. For a year and a half I chronicled my journey as a mom with an illness in my blog. Reading what I have gone through and what I am going through really gives me an amazing perspective about what is really important in life. This new body is hard to adjust to…however, I am SICK and TIRED of caring about my flubby stomach and the extra pounds!! I am fighting to live and enjoy my family, and yet here I am whining because I THINK I look fat!! And maybe I do look fat, but who the heck cares?? Come on now, lol. Seriously, I just need to keep giving myself a good talking-to…because I am an amazing woman! I love my husband, I am a heck of a mom, and I fight hard to live a good life! I have the most beautiful children on earth who tell me a thousand times a day how much they love me. I always let my 5 year old daughter watch me get dressed- and whether I believe it or not I always talk about how beautiful my body and my stomach are. I have some work to do mentally, but while I work on it I am going to make sure my daughter learns that she should complement her body and be proud of every single part of it regardless of how it changes. I AM SO MUCH MORE THEN MY APPEARANCE…and SO ARE YOU.

My husband is the most amazing man I have EVER known. Every single day he tells me how much he loves me, how grateful he is to be married to me, how sexy he thinks I am. He also quit his full time job last year to stay home and take care of me and the kids. I AM A LUCKY WOMAN. He always gets mad when I fuss about my appearance- he cannot believe that I would not like what I see in the mirror. And I understand what he is saying, because so many times I read posts where women hate their bodies- but when I look at them I’m like, “but you look amazing!!” Strange, isn’t it?? Ladies, you are amazing because of who you are- and your body is amazing because it is YOU. Love yourself. Love your body. Love the insanely incredible thing it has done. Complement yourself at least 10 times a day. We are worth so much more then we give ourselves credit.
Blessings!

#1- Me last year
#2- Me last year
#3- Right after my all natural, drug free birth of my last baby- I felt AWESOME after this!
#4- Carrying my 1 year old on my back while apple picking with my kids
#5- Last month when I cut 16″ of my hair off!!
#6- A few weeks ago in Florida with my hubby- ALONE!! I am actually a little heavier there because I ate a lot while we were there lol
#7- I am modest and did not feel comfortable posting a full body shot with no clothes, however I did want you to see my tummy. Pictures can be misleading and clothes can make you look a certain way, which is fine, but this is what my stomach looks like 2 years after having 6 babies. It is wrinkly, thick, and rolls out over my pants lol.
#8- This is me before having any kids.
#9- This is me, my husband, and our 6 kids- taken this past April

Breast Issues (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breasts, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

I am a 24 year old mother of 1 loving boy who is now 10 months old and has been breastfeeding since he was born. I have became really worried about my breast probably about the time my son was 7 months old. My boobs look like the right is larger than the left. My right boob has always slightly been bigger than the left but not noticeable to others just me. But now it’s like my right boob is 2 cups bigger than the left. Before getting pregnant I was a 32C. I’ve been reading a lot of forums online with women who had this same issue. Some say their boobs go back others say it stayed that way and so they fixed it with breast augmentation. And with that being said I feel like I will be one of those ladies who need a breast augmentation. And my son doesn’t prefer one breast over the other. Granted, the right makes more than the left but he spends equal amount of time on each. Please tell me what happened to yours after breastfeeding and any other advice you think is necessary.

Giveaway Winners Announced!

Bonnie (SOAM) Contest, Old News 1 Comment

There were 29 separate entries in this giveaway and I drew winners according to comment order via Random.org.

The two winners of 50 Nude Women DVDs are Sara and Annie.

The winner of the MargLenn Naturals gift set is Amy.

8thbday3

Congrats, guys! I’ll shoot you guys emails asking for your mailing addresses in just a moment.

Thanks for entering, everyone! And more than that, thanks for making SOAM what it is. You guys are awesome.

Mom of 4 Awesome Kids (Felicia)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

Hi. My name is Felicia and Im a 34 year old mom of 4 awesome kids. I’ve been pregnant 5 times but lost one baby at 14 weeks. My kids are 15,13,10 and 7 years old. I got married when I was 18 and had my oldest daughter exactly 1 year later. I made it thru 8 months of pregnancy before the stretch marks showed up. My breasts were a small B before pregnancy with her and after they were HUGE. I dont think my body knew what it was doing because my DD no longer fit after my milk came in. After I had her, I lost all the weight within 6 weeks. But that was too fast, so I was left with severely deflated breasts and sagging skin and stretch marks everywhere. (belly, thighs, breasts, legs etc) With my other pregnancies, nothing got worse, so to say, until I had my first boy. He ended up being an emergency c-section. They did a “bikini cut” but that still goes from hip to hip. It took about a year to tighten the skin that flopped over my scar. My second boy was a planned section but came a month early so he too became an emergency. They cut in basically the same spot. I was 120lbs when I got pregnant for him and by delivery I was 182. He was not a small baby. Even at a full month early, he weighed 8lbs and was 21 1/2 inches long. No wonder I was so big! Anyway, after my section I had a HUGE flop of skin that hung way down low over my scar. I hoped Id be able to tighten it up but 7 years later its still here and not going anywhere. My breasts are totally flat and small, my skin is wrinkled and marked. Im not comfortable in my own skin.
Im not with my kid’s fathers(my girls are from my first marriage and boys are from a horrible 7 year relationship thats not worth mentioning). My current husband and I have no kids together because I had my tubes tied after my last son. My husband always made me feel wanted. Always told me I was beautiful and sexy. I was never comfortable enough with myself to be totally nude in front of him. I dont feel attractive at all. Recently, I found out that he’d been looking at pics of nude women online. The perfect ones that are like 20 with no marks and everything in its place and that made me feel even worse. I literally hate myself at this point. I was online searching self esteem issues and things like “I hate my body” and “stretch marks” and I found this site and I was drawn to it right away. To see there are others who struggle with post baby bodies like I do, gave me some comfort. But it hurts too because I was reading stories and looking at pics and I never once saw anything that was unattractive. You’re all beautiful. I just wish I could get over my own issues and see myself like I see the rest of you. Im including some pics. I cant believe Im doing this. Thank you for reading my story.

Feeling good after years of working hard on body and soul. (Marie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 3 Comments

My name is Marie. I am 31 years old. I’ve had 3 children Via Csection. I bounced back pretty well after each, except my hideous scar. My pregnancies all happened within 5 years so I didn’t have too much time in between. I had no stretch marks before the births but plenty after. I had big beautiful breasts before and after breastfeeding each, the longest 15 months, they have lost a bit of “bounce”. I had a hard time mourning the loss of my youthful body, but after 2 years pp with my last baby I have really come to a good place. I have practiced a lot of body love through art. I take nude photographs of my body and then I turn them into beautiful artistic renditions of their originals. It forces me to look at my body transform and find appreciation. I work hard at the gym 3 times a week and I eat healthy. I practice positive self talk and touch my belly and breasts often, with gratitude. It’s been hard and it took putting in a lot of work, but I feel like

I have a come a long way.. slowly but surely I am loving my body again! Thank you for this beautiful website! Appreciation for who we are, what we are; strong beautiful mothers is so needed in this world! Keep it going.

073014-marie-1

Win Some, Lose Some (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

Nobody ever told me what to expect after pregnancy…it really isn’t a topic that is discussed socially or in the media. In fact, if it were even commonly heard of, I have a feeling a lot of young women would do everything in their power to keep their ‘bikini bodies’ in tact.

I found out I was pregnant when I was 19, I had my daughter shortly after I turned 20. She has been the biggest blessing in my life, but I always look at my body and it brings back a woosh of emotion. Mainly sadness.

I was always a very attractive and desirable girl… flawless skin, size 1, flat tummy, & a good heart. I was never vain. The only body issues I had every had was I felt my breasts were too small, since early on in high school I’d stuck with a size 34B. I weighed 115 lbs. pre-pregnancy, one year after birth I now weigh 120. It’s an extra 5 pounds that are here to stay. After my pregnancy, I had attained a few stretch marks that were silver the whole time, I did not realize I had them until after I gave birth, it was very disappointing to discover that I did have them when I thought I had made it threw with none. My boyfriend kept reminding me throughout my pregnancy that if I did get stretch marks, he would not be attracted to me sexually anymore. I feel that his cruel, thoughtless remarks are the reason that I held postpartum depression for so long. Many other flaws that probably nobody else would even notice: my belly ring hole had stretched out, I have a pouch and a crease that makes me appear as though I had had a c-section even though I delivered vaginally, my weight redistributed [I now have size C breasts which solved my breast insecurities; they are not as perky as they once were, but that doesn’t bother me], but along with that came wide hips & a lot of loose skin which makes it extremely difficult to find a pair of jeans or a shirt that fits me just right that flatters. Along with my new breasts, I gained a big booty after my pregnancy. And I like it!

Amongst many negatives and few positives, my metabolism slowed down dramatically making me prone to weight gain, which I am struggling with at the moment. It’s been extremely difficult for me to adjust from having a fast metabolism, eating what I want, when I want, to having to count every single calorie and carb to keep myself at a steady 120.
I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I also can’t help but look at my appearance so critically. I am not who I used to be… no longer desired and flawless. So hard when all that men are programmed to appreciate is outer beauty and us women like to judge and compete for perfect figures. I have a beautiful and smart baby girl, and it seems so selfish to be worried about my appearance. My head tells me to knock it off & stop worrying about what others see because nobody is as critical to you as yourself. People say you come to terms with the changes, but I don’t think you do, you just learn to live with it because that is all you can do.

Fourth Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 29 Comments

Hi,

I’m a 25 year old, 5 foot 4, 10 stone 11 pounds mom of 3 beautiful children. I had 4 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage. They are 5, 2 and six months old. They were all delivered vaginally. First two children were bottle fed and third is breastfed.

Breastfeeding is making it really hard to loose weight as my body is holding onto the fat as a store my doctor and nutritionist thinks! but I will continue to breastfeed until I return to work as I feel it’s the best nutrition for my baby.

I now hate my body. I recently found out that my fiancé was masterbating to online porn. This is due to a lack of sexual intercourse as I suffered from a prolapse during pregnancy, haemorrhaged 12 days post delivery and had a d&c due to retained placenta. I was also diagnosed with benign tumours in my womb after this ordeal too. So It made me feel super unsexy! Which lead to a sex famine of four times in 9 months!!!! I was devastated that he felt he had to do that and now I’m making more of an effort to have sexual intercourse.

I was a size 6/8 before children and now a 10/12 with droopy boobs and big arms and thighs! Were getting married next July and I really need to get in shape for myself, if not anyone else.