My first contribution was taken six months ago, before the latest preggo belly. This is me at 32 weeks and counting. I don’t look like a hollywood preggo, and I didn’t edit anything out. This is real, this is me, and it is so BEAUTIFUL!!!
I am a 24 year old mother of 2, with a third on the way. By the time I meet my daughter, I will be 25. It’s been a short 5 years by many means of measurement, but make no mistake, those 5 years have encompassed more than their fair share. With my first two pregnancies, my husband and I had repeated visits to high-risk centers. Both our baby boys had fetal heart defects and on more than one occassion, our midwife could not detect a heart tone, even with Doppler. Both pregnancies were fraught with worry, but we managed to remain in the birth center the first time, and risked out the second time due to complications on my end. After multiple hospitalizations both for babies and myself, I felt that I had absolutely no right to complain about the shape my body arrived in after birth. I gained more weight than I should have, and my horrible stretch marks were the high price of that weight. It wasn’t until June of this year that I was diagnosed with a disease that caused most, if not all, of my previous, as well as our babies’ previous problems. After that, we decided to try for a third after all. Part of me dreaded it: great, another chance to become even more broken down and worn in. Here’s another sparkling opportunity for my body to become irrepairably damaged! Woo-hoo!
I quickly got over it when I first saw that little jelly bean on the black and white screen… Sort of. I was at least able to bury it deep in myself again… And now, here I am, 22 weeks into this pregnancy, and having a very, very hard time with my post-baby body image. While I’ve never been terribly positive about my body, after my boys were born, it was atrocious. I finally got the nerve to post my thoughts on my blog, here.
My only resolution for 2009 is to post a real entry to this site; I WILL post an entry complete with before and after pictures. If I can draw some strength and reassurance from all the brave and beautiful women I have seen here, I hope to be able to do that for at least ONE other woman… Even if the mere sight of me traumatizes ten other. :-P
I WILL POST IN 2009!!!
Hi I am a 2x Gestational Surrogate. I also have 2 kids of my own Baylee 11 and Tyler 5. I am a proud surrogate of 2 baby girls. One born 2/27/07, and another born 8/25/08. I am proud of all 4 babies I have given birth to. However my first child was the pregnancy to give me my lovely stretch marks and chubb. All 3 other pregnancies gave me no additional stretch marks. My weight has been up and down over the years. I am actually at my lowest now 140lbs. I am proud of this as this is after 4 pregnancies. I would not change a thing, but do admitt I wish I did not have the stretch marks and chubb around the belly. My 2 kids were vaginal births in 1997, and one in 2003. My first surrogate baby was an emergrncy c-section, and my second surrogate baby was a repeat c-section. I am proud of them all. And have grown to accept my body as it is.
This is me after my 3rd pregnancy and first surrogate baby. See how heavy I still was. Im the lady on the right.
Here I am at 26 weeks along with my 4th surrogate baby. This is my son Tyler 5yrs old.
This is me Christmas 2008 with Tyler again. After 4 pregnancies. I lost 42 lbs since delivering my last baby and that is 15 less than before I was pregnant. I am very proud of myself as I have always been over weight.
For me, December 5th will mark a whole year from conception. As you all know, it’s been an intense year, and one that has fundamentally changed me, mind, body and spirit.
Today I was enjoying my son, and thinking about how much he’s already learned in such a short time. The changes are so rapid, and so monumental. He’s grabbing things now. He’s moving things. He’s starting to make splashes with his legs in the tub. He’s learning that he can actually manipulate his surroundings – interact with the world, touch it, move it – not limited to placidly watching it anymore.
I’ve been thinking about change, and how life, from birth to death is change. The idea that there is or should be some sort of “growth plateau” around our 20’s or 30’s is an illusion. Change is perpetual, and it leads to transformation. And life changes are not constant or gradual, they come in fits and spurts. Growth spurts.
So, I’m watching my son, and I’m marveling at his benchmarks and growth spurts and chubby cheeks and laughter and at some point, I ask myself, “If you are so happy for this rapid change, growth and transformation in your son, then why aren’t you celebrating your own as well?” Deep. I mean, here we are, new mothers holding babies on our hips that grew inside us feeling bad about stretchmarks and cellulite. Stupid, isn’t it?
But shoot, we don’t know any better. We get tricked into believing that having a baby is a thing you “bounce back” from. We don’t understand it as a fundamental transformation, but rather as some sort of “situation” that we will return to “normal” after.
I mean, men probably have a better understanding of what women’s post-pregnancy bodies look like than we do! Unreal. I’ll admit that at 33 years old, I’d only seen one belly with stretchmarks before I got my own. I remember feeling so bad for her. God…
When I got mine in the 8th month, I couldn’t believe it. I would just stare and stare at them in the mirror. I got more and more in that last month and they swirled up around my belly button like a galaxy. A few days after I had my boy, I finally looked at them again in the mirror. I didn’t hate them. I kinda liked them. I mean, isn’t it like a souvenir of pregnancy? You go to Florida and get a mug or a t-shirt, why shouldn’t you have a souvenir of pregnancy? I say stretchmarks are the new tattoos!
Change is still happening, and they’ll probably fade over time and the pooch will go down, but I’m not going to feel bad about them. Those marks symbolize a whole transformation in me. Those stripes taught me how to love again. Those stripes gave me hope again.
So ladies, I earned my stripes, and I’m proud of them! I say you should be too! :)
Mama D
Before I got pregnant, I had a pretty decent body — not great, just average. Since giving birth to my son 6 weeks ago, I am struggling to adjust to my new, “mom’s” body. I guess I got away luckier than some — while I have tons and tons of stretchmarks on my chest, some on hips and inner thighs, I only got one on my stomach in the entire pregnancy. I gained 21 lb during my pregnancy and have already lost the weight, and then some. I don’t really have any problem with my tummy, even though it’s still softer than it was before… I know that will change with time. I am, however, having a hard time dealing with my breasts. I’m only 23 years old, and before having my son, my breasts were a large B/small C, and very perky. Now they’ve gone up to a D, and in my worst moments, I can’t help but feel like they are ugly, pendulous udders sitting on my chest. It doesn’t help that they’ve got a stretch mark ‘bra’, or that they are covered with very visible blue veins (I am very pale, and breastfeeding constantly) all over. I hate getting sweaty under my breasts; that never happened before! In my best moments, I feel so proud that I am able to nourish my beautiful son with my own body, and that he has already gone up to over 11 lb in just 6 weeks (he was born at 8 lb 6 oz) on my breastmilk, alone. I guess when it gets down to it, I will learn to cope with my body. It will always be different, and thankfully, my husband says he finds me even sexier than before I got pregnant. My struggle now is to find myself as sexy in a new role — not just as a young woman, but as a mother.
I was surprised to find that my story was a lot more common than I thought. I first found out I was pregnant as a senior in high school. My boyfriend (who is now my husband) reacted differently than most young men would have in his situation. He told me that whatever I chose to do, he would support. The though of abortion crossed my mind for a brief moment but I knew that I was in love with the baby that was already growing in me. As the months went by I got bigger and bigger. No thanks to my steady diet of anything greasy. =)I saw the pregancy as the only time in my life when i could indulge. Because I never did before. Pre pregnancy i weighed 125 pounds 5’7″. I fit nicely into a size two and would freak out if my weight approached the dreaded 130. At the end of my pregnancy i weighed 175 pounds. I used coco butter religiously but I still got stretch marks all over my sides, underneath the belly button, and thighs. Following the birth of my son I fell into post partum depression. At the time I did not know that I was actually depressed. I felt guilty for my thoughts and actions and the only person who experienced my bad attitude was my husband. I would snap on him because I was so unhappy with the way I looked. It was hard to accept that my body was “ruined” ( or so I thought). I would blame him for getting me pregnant and blame him for the way I looked. I found this website browsing the web one night depressed and feeling hopeless about the state of my body. I couldnt believe that the stretchmarks that I got would stay on me forever, in fact I refused to believe it. I spent countless hours looking for the “miracle creams” and hundreds of dollars. I looked into plastic surgery and laser treatemts. Every time that I would feel sad and hopeless my husband would tell me that I was beautiful and that he was so lucky to be with me. Around the 4th month after having my baby my depressing got out of control. I refused to stay home alone with the baby and I would often hand him off to whoever was around so that I could “live my own life” I am now 7 months post partum and I have a new outlook on life. I went back to work which made a huge difference. Talking about how I felt with my mom and close friends helped me get my problems and anger out. I now weight 140 pounds and have about 10 more to drop. Its definatelly been a wild ride. I love my son more than anything. But being a teen mom is hard. I missed out on my high school graduation and prom. Those precious moments that I have with him however cannot be described. I couldnt have done all that I have without the love and support from my husband, my parents and my friends. I hope that my post will be able to give hope to someone. Anything is possible in life. I feel like this whole experience has completely changed my life around and for the better. I now have a purpose in life and that is my beautiful son and amazing husband. <3
Updated here.
Here is me when I first found out I would be a mommy…since then a lot has changed. It seems as if everything I’d dreamed and waited for just shattered. My husband has had three deployments and this is the first time in nearly six years we’re under the same roof…so you’d think things would be somewhat close to perfect, right? I’m going into the 8th month now and found out he might (or has dumby…)been cheating on me. Naked pictures on his computer of four other girls, txt messages on his phone to “come over”….I’m at such a loss. Not only is it hard enough with the changes of my body and everything that is new, but now this. WHY! why would you do this to our family? I know he would make a great father but I’m completely at a loss with myself, how I feel, how I look, what to do with him, and my overall situation….talk about the one of the ultimate lows.
I’m fourteen months post-partum, and still have about 20 lbs to lose to get to the weight I’m comfortable at. How did you lose the weight, if you did (and if you say solely “breastfeeding” I’m going to scream, because I’ve been breastfeeding for fourteen months and have found that to be the BIGGEST myth around pregnancy) and what advice would you give to someone who really wants to (and is having trouble…) I eat well, exercise semi-regularly, but I’m joining a running clinic in January and am hoping to learn to love to run (to become zen with it, or whatever!) I’m finding it hard to be consistent with life and typical life stresses, but I’m prepared to become to committed to it in January (after Christmas, of course.) I want to get pregnant again in the summer, and really want to lose the weight before then because if I don’t I think that things could really spiral out of control and I will feel much worse about it. 1) Did you lose the weight? 2) How? Thanks!!!
Hi I’m Jenn I had my first, and only, child five years ago. I was very lucky that I had no stretch marks despite being very big while pregnant, apart from a few faint ones that are hardly noticble on my breasts and bum. I carried my son very high and had a c-section. I never put on much weight while pregnant and lost about 5kg after he was born, but in the five years since then the weight has just piled on, I don’t know if that’s due to lack of sleep, stress or not eating or exercising properly — or maybe a combination of all these factors. I never had a small waist — in fact I was always quite chunky in the middle, but I found that after my son was born my stomach just collapsed and I now have a section of tummy that bulges out above the belly button and my body has become positively apple shaped. I am really struggling to lose the weight (about 15kg gained since he was born)and no matter how many sit ups and crunches I do, I still end up with a muffin top, jelly belly. The swimming costume I have on in the pictures actually holds my tummy in a little and the only tops I look good in are maternity tops — has anyone experienced this? I don’t want to go through life wishing I was thinner or my tummy was flatter and being miserable and self-conscious, and I don’t want cosmetic surgery. It astounds me that celebs look so great after their babies, even after twins. How do they do it? What also annoys me is that clothing stores seem to cater for teenage girls only and the bigger clothes and underwear are dowdy. It’s Christmas so I’m not going to spoil my vacation by going on a diet but I think after Christmas I am going to eat all my meals off a small plate, cut out all sugars, simple starches and fats, and try pilates. Weights just seem to make me chunkier. Anyone who has struggled and regained thier body ultimately, if you have any advice, please let me know. Wishing you all a merry festive season and happy new year.
Hi everyone, I am 28 years old. I had my first daughter when I was 20. I was 130lbs pre-baby and I gained 38 lbs in 38 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy. I lost most of that weight and was back into a size 7. I became pregnant with my second daughter at the age of 25; starting weight was 140lbs and I gained a massive 58 lbs which brought me up to 198lbs at delivery. Well, not as lucky with my second as my first. I stretched out very large, I carried all in the front. My daughters are now 7 years old and 3 years old, and I still have the left over of my pregnancy…I have seen specialists and doctors on how best to deal with my stomach.. only solution.. is a tummy tuck.. so we are saving for plastic surgery. A whopping 9 000$ to just feel normal..just to feel as tough my stomach isnt a foreign object on my body….I just want to be able to wear clothes without having to tuck my belly into my jeans! This site was a Godsend to me, I finally felt like I wasn’t alone, and thought..wow, these gorgeous women have similar bellies, maybe showing mine, might help another mom dealing with her insecurties also. Thank you for reading.. Just a note..I am doing this for me, and myself only. My husband doesnt seem to see the belly and stretch marks.. he still sees me as me..the me before our babies.
