Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

3 months after delivering a baby boy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Hey everyone!

I have been coming to this site for a long time. I started reading all the stories and looking at all the pictures probably a year before I even got pregnant. I am 24 years old and delivered a healthy baby boy on December 20th, 2008. My pregnancy and labour all went so amazing. I had a short 5 hours of labour and out came my boy at 7 lbs 12 oz. I absolutely love being a mom.

I started working out at about 7 weeks postpartum. I don’t own a scale, but I can tell I am getting close to my pre-pregnancy weight. Thanks to all the moms for posting your pictures and stories. As far as I’m concerned we are all super moms! :)

Updated here.

Send me your photos!

Bonnie (SOAM) News 0 Comment

I am working on a new project in relation to this site and would like your help. I am planning to create posters and cards for midwives, OB’s, LC’s, doulas, etc, to post and keep in their offices as literature (if you can call it literature when it is primarily photos, in fact I am sure you cannot call it literature, but am too tired to try to figure out what you CAN call it). I also hope to create some merchandise like bumper stickers, etc, that you can choose to buy (I once upon a time had a Cafe Press store, but I am going to start completely from scratch with classy new designs).

I need help with this! I need you to send me your photos along with your permission to use them.* The photos will need to be high resolution and clear images. I would like all body parts (breasts, bellies, bums, legs and more), all body shapes and sizes, and all body colors!

If you can participate, please e-mail me at bonnie@theshapeofamother.com with “PHOTOS FOR POSTERS” as your subject line. Please attach the photos and give me permission to use them by copying and pasting the text below and inserting your own name. Photos will remain anonymous. If I use your photo, I will compensate you in some small way TBA.

Permission (please include):
I, ~insert your full name~, give Bonnie Crowder permission to use these photos as she sees fit for public service literature and/or promotional items for sale.

Thanks, everyone! Please pass the message on to anyone you think might be interested!

*I will give credit to photos where I can – if nothing else, I will promise you a page here at this website dedicated to thanking you publicly or anonymously with links to your original photos if you like.

A Dream Come True! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, PCOS, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

When I was 21, a senior in a BSN program and 5 months away from marrying my high school sweetheart my doctor told me that I had PCOS and that my chances of having children was slim and unknown. In fact, she said we won’t know if I could have children until I tried, so in April 2008 we decided we were close enough to graduating and the wedding date to start trying. As May rolled around I was so wrapped up in wedding plans and graduation requirements that I didn’t realize that my period was late until I was over two weeks late. I doubted that I could be pregnant, it couldn’t be that easy, but I tested anyway. After three positive pink lines I was still in denial! Two days later I tested again and YUP! still positive and I was overjoyed and terrified all at once. PCOS not only causes infertility issues but also a greater chance of miscarriage so I was afraid to do anything for the first 12 weeks in fear that it would “cause a miscarriage”, which I know isn’t really possible but I was so afraid. Well 12 weeks turned to 30 weeks and then 40 weeks and I had done it! My body had created this amazing baby, nurtured her and kept her safe from harm for 10 months and I cannot be more proud. I was induced two days before my due date but after laboring for over 30 hours the doctor decided it was time for a c-section. Julianna arrived on her due date weighing 7 lbs. 7oz and she was 21 inches long. She is perfect and amazing and everything we could have asked for. My husband is so in love with her and thanks me daily for his special gift. I weighed 143 lbs before becoming pregnant and weighed 163 lbs at 40 weeks. At one week pp I was back to my pre-preg weight and by 9 days pp I weighed less than I did pre-preg. I am EBF and currently weigh 135 lbs. I credit the BF for my weight loss, along with the fact that I was back to my normal exercise routine by two weeks pp. I am thrilled with my pp body, in fact I feel sexier now that I ever did pre-baby. I got a few stretchmarks on my belly during my last week of pregnancy but they are fading fast and I often forget they are there. I am so proud of what my body was able to do, so happy to be a mother and extremely blessed to have such a loving husband and sweet baby girl. My pictures are me at 38 weeks pregnant, 6 weeks pp, two at 10 weeks pp, a close up at my strechmarks and finally me and my princess today.

Pregnant with Number Two! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 5 Comments

Your Age: 24
Number of pregnancies and births: Two pregnancies, one birth, one on the way!
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2years old and 25 weeks pregnant.

I’m a mother of a beautiful 2 year old girl and am pregnant with my 2nd child, a boy! My first pregnancy was a complete surprise; 6 months after I married my high school sweetheart (and right before my 22nd birthday) we found out we were pregnant. I couldn’t have been happier (after I got over the initial shock)! My pregnancy was pretty uneventful… although I did gain 60 pounds. I took the “eating for two” phrase literally. I worked long hours and was constantly hungry, so the pounds packed on! I didn’t get any stretch marks until about 28 weeks, and the majority of them were on my hips. Thick purple ones appeared–about the width and length of my pinky. I knew I would get them, because I got a few on my hips during puberty. However, over the next 12 weeks, I started getting them on my inner thighs and they spread to almost where my knees are. You can’t really tell they are there unless you are down in that area, so now Im not too concerned about them, but when they happen, oh boy I thought my world had ended! :) I didn’t get any stretch marks on my lower belly until after I delivered, and they are small but still noticeable. I did get an amazing stretch mark pattern right above my belly button, it turned out looking like a star. I had my belly button pierced years ago and the scar tissue never healed up, so when my belly started to expand, so did the already tight skin, and so came the stretch marks! After the birth of my daughter, they all faded and I really couldn’t tell they were there. I don’t think I will ever be confident enough to wear a bikini again, but at least I appreciate my body and what it has accomplished. Ive grown used to the stretch marks and am the first to tell ANYONE that is pregnant that I got them and am willing to show them. I had a hard time accepting them at first, but the more I tell people about them, the better I feel about my own body. Now I am pregnant with number tow, and I am 25 weeks along, already up 30 pounds. I don’t eat horribly, I exercise daily, but my body does what it wants and I am ok with that. I haven’t gotten any new stretch marks, but if I do, then that’s alright too.

Anyway, I share this website with anyone I know that is pregnant so I figured I better practice what I preach and send in a few pics of my own.
1st picture: 37 weeks pregnant with my daughter (1st pregnancy)
2nd picture: Postpartum a year and a half
3rd picture: Pregnant with #2 (25 weeks)
4th picture: Pregnant with #2 front view (25 weeks)

6 weeks pp (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 16 Comments

I have been having a hard time dealing with my new mommy body. I am 27 and this is my first child. I am 5’4″ and started at about 140. I have always looked like I weigh much less than I actually do but now I am having a hard time hiding my weight gain. I had the easiest pregnancy (no morning sickness or mood swings or anything) up until 36 weeks. I ended up being induced (what a nightmare!) and giving birth at 38 weeks and 195 pounds. I became really bloated from the magnesium as I was preclamptic and left the hospital at 188 pounds. I lost 20 pounds the first 2 weeks from water weight but now am stalled at 164 and my stomach is so flabby :( I am hoping I can start exercising and lose 20 or 30 pounds before summer. I’m not sure how easy it will be, what are other peoples weight success stories?? I feel I’m lucky that I didn’t get stretch marks and have a beautiful baby boy now, but I just feel like a walking ball of jello and cellulite. Will I ever feel like my old self? Here is a picture of me 6 weeks pregnant, 32 weeks, 6 weeks pp and picture of my son Walden!

Am I Really Going to Be a Mommy Again?

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions, Teen Mom, Third Pregnancy 7 Comments

When I was 18 I had my first baby girl. It was my first pregnancy I was a very mature 18 year old and very ready for my daughter. My pregnancy was great no problems or complaints I delivered my daughter Destiny at 39 weeks She was born at 10:11 am on May 14th 2000 wich happened to be Mothers Day that year. She was absolutely beautiful she weighed 8lb12 oz and was 21 inches in length she had the chubbiest cheeks and a full head on black hear. Destiny was “healthy” at birth and came home with me. We spent 7 wonderful weeks at home I breast fed and she ate and gained weight appropriately she went to her five day and one month doctor visit. She was perfectly normal and very alert the nurse even thought she was 5 months not 5 weeks she talked with the doctor the whole visit cooing and smiling. Just two weeks later on July 3rd Destiny woke up with a swollen eye lid I immediately thought conjunctivitis and then I noticed her breathing was more like panting. I took her immediately to the hospital where they told me she was very sick and had cancer. They rushed us to Boston Childrens Hospital.There I found out it was leukimia, we fought for her all day. Destiny passed away at 1:37 am July 4th hardest day of my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my little angel Destiny. Over time it has gotten a lot easier and now 9 years later I am expecting my 2nd baby girl, I am so happy I could cry. I am 21 weeks along and so far everthing looks great. I just can’t help feeling that this isn’t real and in just 18 weeks and 3 days I will deliever my 2nd baby. I have been feeling my little one move around for over a month and she is getting stronger by the day. I just feel like this is a dream I don’t believe it am I realy going to have a baby. Is she going to be healthy. I had one other pregnancy in may of ’08 and i misscarried at six or 7 weeks so after the two losses I just have so many doubts, Is this normal?I know I am going to love her. I really just don’t believe I am going to get to be a mommy again.

All (Karli)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Reader's Favorite, Submissions 7 Comments

All
by Karli
I am 26 years old, divorced, with two daughters ages 4 and 7. I am proud to be a mother, and proud to be a woman.
Originally posted here.

* * * *

Standing naked in front of the mirror, I started with my toes. I love you, toes, I said. I like the way you’re shaped. I used to love dancing on you, balancing my entire body over you in the most beautiful, unnatural way. You’re amazingly strong. I love you, feet. You have a lovely little arch. You have taken me to the most wonderful places, places that have changed me. You will take me so much farther. I love you, ankles… Out loud, so that it would be real, I spoke to my body. I looked at myself under the soft light in the hallway and I went over everything, each part, leaving nothing out. I spent the most time on places that I usually avoid looking at, the parts of me that I have learned to hide under my clothes. I love you, stomach. Your skin tells the story of the day each of my babies were born. I was reborn on those days, too. Two entire lives began inside of you, grew there protected and warm until it was safe for them to leave and start their own journeys on this planet. You did an amazing thing. I love you, breasts. You look different than you used to, and that’s ok. It was you alone that sustained my babies in their first months of life. You were the link between their bodies and mine, the agent of the most beautiful, spiritual bond I have ever known. I love you, shoulders…

I spoke to my hands, my neck, my lips. I looked myself in the eyes and told them how beautiful they are. When I had gone over every physical part, I moved on to my mind, my heart, and my spirit. I told myself the things I have always wanted to hear someone say, and I believed them. I forgave myself for hating this body for so long and I told myself that things are going to be different, now. You see, I have spent the last twelve years hoping that I would wake up one morning and float out of bed, the weight of shame and disgust having been suddenly removed from my heart. And it’s true that I have slowly accepted parts of myself as the years have gone by, forgiving my arms for looking like gangly iron rods because of the dozens of people they have comforted in their embrace, letting go of the hatred I have always had for my hair and caring for it instead, allowing it to make me feel young and feminine. I have learned to love parts of me, but never all. I avert my eyes in the shower, washing blindly and focusing my mind elsewhere so I don’t have to pay attention to the places I’m ashamed of. As I do this I imagine my daughters grown up, healthy and strong, bathing with closed eyes so they don’t have to see their bodies. And that thought makes me cry. I need to have overcome this so that when the day comes that I find one of them weeping into her pillow over how hard it is to become a woman in a world that teaches you that who you are is never enough, I will have something to say to her. I need to have overcome this so that I can forge a new path in the legacy of my family’s womanhood and teach my daughters from a new handbook. I think it’s entirely possible that if I’m able to do this, to truly love my body and who I am, their pillows just might stay dry.

My body is my ticket here, my all-access pass to existence. I have abused it terribly. Other people have hurt it in unspeakably horrible ways. And I have let the shame of it all taint the wonder of this life-ticket, crumpling it up and shoving it deep into my pocket, forgetting that if I care for it tenderly and keep it safe it can take me to places I never even dreamed. I wish I could say that I have such a deep feeling of self-worth that I have chosen to love myself for my sake alone, and that being a better mother is just a fabulous side effect. But I’m not strong enough for that yet. Someday, perhaps. But for now, it’s enough to love my daughters so fiercely that I am willing to look at myself through the eyes of their mother, loving this life and this body because of them. I’ll mother the three of us. I’ll teach us all the things I was never taught so at the end of it all, when we’re old and withered, our tickets will stamped and creased and stained beyond recognition. They will have the markings of a life fully lived… and they will be our most treasured possessions.

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, Butt, Eating Disorder, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Third Pregnancy 30 Comments

I and 24 and have had three children in the past 5 years. I fought with anorexia (although I was never diagnosed) when I was 17 and 18 before I got pregnant with my first child. I have always had a negative body image. I almost feel like if I’m not thin, people won’t appreciate me. They will see me as a failure.

All my pregnancies had no serious complications. I gained 60 pounds with my first (I started at 123), 50 pounds with my second (I started at 140), and 25 pounds with my third (I started at 165). I am 5’9″. I lost almost all of my weight after my first but then gained 15 pounds back after I got married. I only lost 25 pounds with my second then got pregnant when he was 8 months. My daughter is now 9 months old. I lost down to 155 because I had bad postpartum depression, but in the past few months have gone back up to 170 since I am HAPPY again ;o).

I don’t exercise because I am LAZY. Even though I am the biggest I have ever been, I am not depressed like I used to get about my weight. I think most of it is because I have three children to show for it. I love my body because of what it has given me, but I DO want it to be healthy. I want to feel better physically. I can feel how heavy I am and THAT’S what bothers me more than what I look like. I’m determined to get in shape. I don’t mind being this size. I just want to be healthy.

I’m not ashamed of my stretch marks. I have them all over. On my hips and belly and breasts. The thing I hate the most about my body is my “mom butt/hips” and my belly flap. It just hangs there when I even slightly bend over.

The women I see on this site are so beautiful. Stretch marks. Scars. Boobies that are less than “perfect”. It’s amazing because of what we’ve been through. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could see ourselves through over people’s eyes? I don’t think we’d see the same thing at all. We are our own worse critic.

6.5 Weeks PP (Misho)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 14 Comments

I’m a 21 year old first time mum. I’ve never been skinny but mostly I accepted my body….I had more up days than down. I can’t say that I loved being pregnant, at this point I don’t want to do it again but I didn’t hate it either. I do hate what it did to my body. I gained about 35 lbs and the stretch marks appeared overnight the first time I had a larger weight increase in a week.
Strangely enough, now that my daughter is 6.5 weeks old I feel great, most days. I hate the way my body looks but I’ve been more physically active and soaking up the compliments that my daughter receives. I had a breast reduction last year, so I was unable to breast feed my daughter for longer than a week and a half. The scale is still stuck at 208 and I want to lose 30 lbs before my wedding in July. Unlike lots of women, I don’t wear my stretch marks and sagging tummy with pride. I think it’s ugly and can’t wait for the marks to fade and to reach my goal weight, or at least be able to wear regular sized pants again. I do love my daughter and I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about how much she’s changed my life already. I’m slowly gaining confidence and self-esteem and my the time she’s old enough to know I can teach my daughter how to love herself no matter what because I will have overcome those obstacles myself.

This site is fantastic and I’m so glad to have found it….looking forward to the day that I can post my “after” pictures for the internet to see.

Nothing Wrong Here (Punkin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

I just love reading the stories on this website. I’ve been mourning the perky 19 year boobs (I looove my belly stretch marks!) I left behind when I got pregnant since giving birth 5 months ago, but seeing all these women has made me realize that the “ugly” I see in myself is just in the eye of the beholder. They are so beautiful. I love my baby girl and I love being a mom. I’m starting to accept the changes and even enjoy them! The first picture is pre-pregnancy, the next are while I was pregnant and the last is now, at 5 1/2 months postpartum.
-Punkin