Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

That’s Why You’re Beautiful (Traci)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

Previous entry here.

The first time I posted here was 2 years ago. That’s quite scary! Our little ones grow up so fast. I have been viewing this site for three or maybe more years now and I am blown away by the many women who post and say they dislike their body or that they are unappy with themselves now that they have had a child, and while I can understand that (believe me, I do!) it saddens me so much because now that I am older I can truely appreciate what my body has done for me. My body had to grow to make room for a tiny human. And in growing it had to stretch that little bit extra because we can never predict how big our little squirts are going to be. And due to stretching we are given little rivers on our tummy (back, thighs, calves, breasts, etc) that grow as our baby grows. Lets face it, our little ones must get bored staring at their placenta all day! Imagine when the light or sun shines on your tummy and those stretch marks create little patterns for your baby to look at. Babies begin to learn in the womb. Wouldn’t it be nice to know they had something to look at other than their water sack! :)

What I am trying to say is, it took me a long time to realise I was beautiful. Not because of my face or my body, but because I could truely appreciate how lucky I am to have a healthy child who I watch growing every single day. I am blessed. I tell you something, I would MUCH rather have some stupid stretch marks than NOT have my son at all.

There are so many women (and men) who would take all the stretch marks, saggy skin and droopy boobs if it meant they could conceive a child of their own. Unfortunately, in some sense, things dont turn out in that way for everyone.

Biological mother or adoptive mother, either way, you are beautiful, not because of your face or your body, but because you can truely appreciate being a mother.

“Diamonds used to be coal, look young ’cause they’ve got soul. That’s why they’re beautiful.
And my heart used to be cold, ’til your hands laid on my soul. And that’s why you’re beautiful”

I attached some recent pictures of myself and how my body has changed since my last post and the rest are my two wonderful boys :)

~Your Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years and 2 months

Mother of a Princess (MommaMykah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Mother of a Princess

I’m 27 years old and a proud mother of an eight month old princess. She is my first and only child.

I’ve never been self-conscious about by body (in fact I loved my body) until after I had my baby and my breast went from pointy and perky to sagging and looking at the ground. My once flat tummy is now a flabby tummy, that I can work on but the breast are really making me depressed.

I was searching around on breast sites looking for company in my pity party and I came across this website. No one tells you that when you become a mommy you would never look the same again. All the celebrity images we are bombarded with make us feel like we are not beautiful anymore, well that’s how I felt anyway. But this website a shape of a mother got me thinking, that I am normal and my breast are normal for a mother and I am beautiful. I have read other mom’s stories and it has given me such strength and courage to love my body once again. Though I am not back at the mirror viewing stage, I am learning little by little to accept my sagging breasts, for I have breast fed my baby to a healthy weight, and I am learning to love my stretch marks for they are battle scars for borning a princess and my flabby tummy for it held my Princess close to me as she grew.

Thank you to all of the posts they have given me the boost I needed to love myself again, breast included :) .

Below are pictures of my body before my princess and 8 months after my princess. See her attached too.

MommaMykah

Mommy-ware (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

At 23 I became pregnant. I had never wanted children and enjoyed being just an aunt. Quickly I grew excited for the new baby growing inside me. I reveled in the joys of nesting and planning. I did tell myself though that I would not wear traditional maternity clothes and manage to go most of my pregnancy with few maternity items despite the fact I gained nearly 40 lbs! I also told myself I wouldn’t go around in what i thought was “mom-gear” : exercise clothes, t-shirts, gym shoes, once the baby arrived. I now live in comfortable clothes that are usually spit-up stained or covered with spaghetti sauce from dinner and I am okay with it. I haven’t quite gotten down to my pre-pregnancy weight nor do I expect to ever have my “old” body back and I’m okay with that too.

It is hard sometimes to look in my closet and see all the beautiful clothes I spent years collecting and know that I can’t just slip them on and go like I used too, but there are far more important things in life; my son is learning how to crawl and today it looks like he’s doing the worm perhaps tomorrow it will resemble something closer to a crab walk. I know that I am blessed with a son who loves me, a partner who supportive and a family I can always count on.

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings even if I have to wear yoga pants find out. Special thanks to this site for making all women comfortable in their skin!

1st Pregnancy, 8mos PP (today!)

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 14 Comments

Hello, I am a 24 year old single mother. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter right after my 22nd birthday and gave birth Christmas day 2007. My daughter was small only weighing 6 pounds 15 ounces and 19 1/4 inches long. Though you couldn’t tell with the 80 pounds I gained. When I found out I was pregnant and told her father he was totally against me having her, he pushed abortion and when I refused he started dating someone else. All this extra stress didn’t seem to help with my extreme weight gain. I have always struggled with my weight and been heavy my whole life, when I had finally lost weight. At the time I got pregnant I was 158 pounds which wasn’t bad for my 5’8” frame. I always figured i would lose 20 or 30 pounds from giving birth, I came home 10 pounds lighter. I didn’t get many stretch marks, but I hate the way my body looks now. I now weight 193 and it is extremely hard to lose weight. Its hard to come to terms with my self and I have little to no self confidence. My daughter is now 19 months old and is my life, I wouldn’t change anything and she is the best choice I have ever made. I just feel so disgusted by myself, I feel unlovable at times. I found this site about a year back and it does make me feel better and I feel the support. The pictures are of me 19monts pp.

Updated here and here.

The Unnecesarean Has a New URL – UPDATED

Bonnie (SOAM) Link, News 9 Comments

Unfortunate circumstances have forced Jill, the owner of The Unnecesarean, to change her url. It’s such a fantastic and important resource for women that I wanted to make sure to pass along the word. If you have it bookmarked or linked, please take a moment to make the correction.

The new link is: https://www.theunnecesarean.com

UPDATE: Jill’s got the old one back now so either address will take you to her site! Yay!

I’m not so sure I hate my body anymore (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

~Your Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Currently 15 1/2 weeks PP (photos taken at 13 weeks PP)

I have struggled with my body image ever since I was a child. I remember, when I was in primary school, sucking in my stomach during swimming lessons so that it would be flatter than the other girls’ tummies (it’s a habit I have had ever since). In high school I developed severely disordered eating, accompanied by anxiety and depression, and battled my body and weight for a very long time.

5 years ago I met and then married an amazing man who thinks I am beautiful and tells me so often. I loved being pregnant – I was healthy, happy and have never felt so beautiful in my life! My stomach, long despised, was my pride and joy. I was pregnant in summer and would walk to the pool in my bikini.

I put on 15 kg (33lb) while I was pregnant. It was 38 weeks before I saw a stretch mark and when I found my first one (I got 4 or 5) I cried and cried. And then I realised – millions of women around the world have nowhere safe to give birth, no doctors or midwives or antenatal care, how dare I act like this is the end of the world??!!! I was horrified at my vanity. My husband thinks they’re cool. He says they make me look like a pirate. I’m not so sure but they’re growing on me.

Labour was surprising, quick and hard. My son was born naturally just over 4 hours after my waters broke, 3 days before his due date. I’ve been told I was ‘lucky’ but going from the odd prelabour Braxton-Hicks to full, active labour in minutes left me feeling like I had been hit by a truck, both during my labour and for weeks afterwards. I quietly envy my friends’ stories of relaxing in the bath between their contractions!

Postpartum, I had expected to look pregnant for months after delivery, but what my hungry little boy hasn’t sucked out I unfortunately seem to have lost in a distressing haze of postnatal anxiety. It’s nice to fit into my old clothes but I would rather be fatter and happier. My body’s landscape is completely different now– where once there was muscle and firmness there just seems to be softness all over the place. I jiggle when I wiggle. My butt, which I used to like, now just kind of sags and squishes around in my pants. My problem skin flared during pregnancy and again now as I’m breastfeeding. My poor breasts have succumbed to mastitis four times.

But in the end, when I stop for a moment to silence the negative voices, I am kind of in awe of my body. It grew and protected my baby for 9 months. It was strong enough to withstand the full force of labour without a single drug or stitch. It has fed and sustained my son entirely for nearly four months now. I look at my body and then across at my sleeping child – the most beautiful I have ever beheld – and realise that my body is amazing and I can’t wait to do it all again.

Updated here.

I brought 6 amazing people into the world, if you don’t like my body, don’t look! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 28 Comments

28 yrs old, 5 pregnancies, 6 children (twins), 3 weeks postpartum

I am a 28 year old mom of 6 beautiful children. I have 10 year old twin girls, 8 and 6 year old boys, a 4 year olds and just gave birth to our 4th girl 3 weeks ago. I am always told that I look “great for having that many kids”…I feel that although my body has changed…quite alot with every pregnancy that the changes that remain are a small price to pay for being lucky enough to be a mother to these beautiful babies. My once perky D’s…are sadly no longer perky…They have breastfed 5 children and are currently nursing the newborn…I don’t think any new stretch marks have appeared but those I have are faded…but visible, my belly is wrinkly. I dont care…I still wear a bikini. The people who want to judge us…well they obviously aren’t mothers. But alas, one day we ALL age and our bodies WILL change…that is life…why waste time worrying about that? Let’s rejoice in our ability to create and bring to life new people!!

(Third photo is updated at seven months postpartum – Jan 2010)

Badge of Honor (Teresa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I went my whole pregnancy without stretch marks, until the last two weeks. I had mixed emotions about them, and various emotions about the 53 pounds of weight I gained. I was hoping to make it through without gaining a solitary mark.

The first few days were horrifying after delivery. I looked heavier then I did during pregnancy, yet… I had so much stretchy excess skin. I ignored the mirror as best I could, and only truly looked in it once my ankles made their returning debut.

Now, that I am 3 weeks post delivery; I look at my body, realizing I still have half the weight to lose until my pre-pregnancy body. There’s still room for major improvement with my body image, but I am content at the moment. I respect my stretch marks, and look at them and am proud. Kind of like a badge of honor. I earned these from all the hard work my body and mind putt into creating the best thing a person could create. I earned them creating another human being, the miracle of life. I sport them proud with my head held high.

Im proud of my stretch marks, if people say they are road maps, then they are the maps to pure bliss.

072609-teresa-1

Update Post (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

My first post was called “I wish I could love my body“.

Well its been 3 months since my last post and Ive been trying to find the time to fit in workouts. When my son was 6 weeks old I ended up in hospital with gall bladder stones. I had between 20-30 attacks over the next 5 months, putting me back in hospital 3 times. I finally was booked in for surgery about 2 months ago. 2 weeks after surgery I woke with the same pains. I had to call an ambulance for myself because I couldnt get ahold of anyone to take me to the hospital. The doctor had the nerve to tell me that I had anxiety problems due to being a single mother of such a small child. A week later, while on vacation, the same pains came back. I went to the hospital in the other city. They ended up finding I had stones lodged in my liver backing up the bile causing an infection. I was rushed back to my hometown for surgery because I was alone with my son there. While they were taking it out they knicked my spleen and I ended up with a double infection, hospitalized for 7 days. I didnt have help with my son really so I never got to fully heal. Finally 2 months later I am starting to feel normal again. Here are updated photos of me at 7.5 months pp. I think that there is a bit of a difference. What do you think? He is a VERY busy 7 and a half month old. I find myself constantly chasing after him. He began crawling a couple of weeks ago. Early starter! My weight has been going between 151-161 since the hospital. I cant seem to keep it steady and get below 150. Slowly but surely I am coming to terms with my new body, but would love to just be able to lose 10-15 more pounds and tone my flabby, streched marked stomache!

Photos – 7.5 months pp
Son – 7.5 months

Updated here and here.

Toddler Plastic Surgery?

Bonnie (SOAM) Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Link, News 16 Comments

I caught a glimpse of this video on some show last night (honestly I don’t even know which one – the husband was flipping channels and I made him stop so I could see this) and went straight to MomLogic.com to see the whole thing. It’s a commentary on plastic surgery and, perhaps, a plea that we as a culture take a step back and really LOOK at ourselves and our obsession with fixing what’s not broken.

The video is quite funny, but really brings home the message that we are being a bit ridiculous about changing our appearances – from nose jobs (I was SO SAD when Ashlee Simpson got a boring nose) to bellies, are we sending the wrong message to our daughters (and sons and to each other)?

Truly, I do not judge another woman’s choice, for I have not walked in her shoes. And I also want to make it clear that all mamas are welcome here, regardless of your opinion on this subject. But I feel that – in general – we are just applying band-aids to this problem of self-esteem our culture has created within us. I believe the only real way to heal ourselves is to learn to love (or at least not hate) bodies in all the shapes they come in. Once our stomachs are “fixed” what part will we hate next? We have to fight for our diversity!

I have a fantastically ugly belly by society’s standards, but I flat-out refuse to feel that way about it. I am determined to love my belly no matter how hard it is. And I will do that for myself and for my daughter and for anyone else who is inspired by the act. What are you determined to love? And who do you do it for?