Some elections I do get more political, but this time around I’m just going to post this. Mamas, women died for your right to vote. Get out there and make them proud. Together we can change the world!
Author: Bonnie (SOAM)
“Mommy I Love Your Squishy Tummy” (Anonymous)
I am 30 years old and I have two children, ages 8 and 6.
The story of how I learned to be ok with my body again after kids is a long one. Similar to many on this site. When I became a single woman with children I thought, “No one will ever love or want me because I am hideous.” What I have learned in the last two years of being single is that is a bunch of hogwash!
I stopped focusing on achieving perfection and instead began to focus on my overall health. I’m 5’7 and I went from 210 lbs with 37% body fat to 150 lbs with 24% body fat. I have maintained this weight for a year. I have fitness goals I am continuing to work towards.
My body is healthy. It isn’t perfect and it never will be. Sometimes I still struggle with knowing this, but I remind myself that there are more important things in life than having a perfect body. I remind myself to be kind and when needed I remind myself that it’s ok to cry over what I have lost. I remind myself how far I have come and ultimately I remember what my children have told me over the years:
“You’re beautiful Mommy!”
“I want to look like you when I’m older Mom.”
“Mommy, I love your tummy so much. It’s soft and squishy and ahhhh… I just love it!”
The ways their eyes light up when people tell them they look like miniature versions of me.
I see them watching me and I am proud that even in my darkest days I have never once exposed them to the emotional turmoil I felt inside. I have not talked down about my body nor have I hidden it in shame. They know we eat well because it’s good for our bodies. They know we are active because we want to be strong and healthy. And I know that they are always watching. I never want them to go through what I have gone through and so that is what motivates me to keep working towards loving myself as I am. Am I 100% there yet? No, I am not, but I am getting there.
It is What it is (Anonymous)
3 years Post partum. 2 c sections, 32 years old.
I had severe undiagnosed perinatal depression with my first child, leading to me demanding a c section or I was going to throw myself off of a ledge. I was terrified and didn’t want to ever be left alone for fear of what might happen. Thankfully treated Post partum depression with my 2nd, so much more manageable.
I will never look the same again, and it has severely impacted how and when I work out or hike or rock climb or anything. My sense of self has been so contorted since being pregnant I am just now grasping at who I used to be.
I loved my body before children. It was the body that was reliable, and would push me to my limits, create expression through movement or strength. I could feel alive in my body and what I was capable of. Pregnancy changed my entire existence. Would I trade my body back?? Of course I would. Right now though, I’m dedicated to reading to my children in the evening even if it means I can’t get my run in. Sometimes I’m depressed about it, most times, however I am now realizing that permanence has no place in my life. Everything is temporary and there is a peace that comes with experiencing and living this.
That’s how it goes. Some days I’m lost, some days I’m found. But it is what it is.
Embracing My Body as a Mother (Jessica)
I am a 22 year old mother with 2 babies 12 months apart. After my first was born I had an identity crisis. I looked into the mirror and I didn’t know who I was any more, I didn’t recognize my body, I was depressed. Then I had my second and one day I realized I am beautiful because this belly and stretchmarks are given me to me as a sign that I have been blessed with children, a constant reminder of how my life has been beautifully changed into a mother. It is different than my young, tight pre-baby body, but it is just as beautiful because this is my young, beautiful baby stretched mommy body. I am no longer just a beautiful young woman, I am a beautiful young mother! However, I have learned something important through the process of my body turning into a mother and that is, it is ok to grieve. I grieved my old body because it was over, gone, never to be the same again. It is a reality that so many of us women have to face. We may lose the weight, work hard and gain back muscle but somethings will never be what they used to be. The mere fact that we are now mothers means our lives are forever changed. But now it is time to move on and embrace the future as a beautiful Mama!
12 months postpartum with my second
Lawrence 2
Myra 1
Off Balance (Monica)
I had my first boy at 21 and my second at 26. I’m now 28 and still working at loving my body. It’s pretty much looked exactly this way since my first child. I’m sometimes unhappy with my breasts, uneven and stretched. I struggle with depression and can be really hard on myself at times. However, I celebrate my flaws when I can and that’s why I’m sharing this photo with you! Today I feel okay with the body I live in. We don’t have to be perfect to be amazing!
SOAM is in need of submissions! Join us!
Look at these beautiful bellies. All of them different. All of them once home to a brand new human being. How beautiful is that concept? But I would go farther and even say that they are just beautiful at face value. Perfect and beautiful just as they are.
This site has meant a lot to a lot of women over the years. There is a growing movement right now to question the status quo about how to define beauty and this is massively important to all women and men. SOAM is what this movement is all about. Women who have participated here have said that they appreciate the support they receive here and for every woman who posts her own story, countless others benefit from seeing all kinds of mama bodies. Maybe you will consider taking a moment to snap a quick picture of your body to help us keep SOAM making changes in the world for us and for those babies who have changed us so wonderfully.
All types of submissions are always accepted and cherished, but we are particularly lacking in stories from women of color and I’d love to see that change. We would also benefit from stories of women struggling with fertility, women who have chosen adoption or surrogacy, women who have struggled with surgeries during pregnancy or other unusual health problems, trans women and men who have thoughts to share on the subject of mama (or papa) bodies, and any other situation that you can think of that needs to be talked about more. It seems to me that the more we talk about those unusual situations, the more people benefit from finding out that they are not alone.
Please take a moment to join us. If you aren’t ready for that yet (that’s okay, too!), consider sharing this link with your friends and family or maybe even with your local news sources. The more women who participate here, the bigger the difference we can make!
Love you, beautiful mamas!
Join us in showing the world how beautiful the mama body is. Click here to participate.
The bellies in the photo collage above were graciously shared by the mamas in the following entries:
Top row
“A Message for All Moms”
“Daily Struggle”
“Still Struggling”
Middle row
“Update”
“I Feel So Alone”
“Beauty Comes From Within”
Bottom row
“Twin Mom”
“Learning to Love My Body Again One Day at a Time”
“My Story and Photos”
A Message to all Mothers (Anonymous)
Just want to let ALL the mothers know you are all beautiful regardless of stretch marks, saggy/uneven breasts. You all gave birth to a human and that’s a huge accomplishment, I read stories daily on what every one of you say and see the pictures yous post, no matter what your body looks like you are still beautiful and real beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder, don’t feel uncomfortable with your body just remember you all are beautiful, this is coming from a man with a beautiful fiance who gave birth to 3 boys and I still tell her every single day she is beautiful. Hope you all read this and understand love you all and god bless
Learning to Accept Myself (Daniela)
-My age: 18
-Number of pregnancies/births: 1
-Age of children: 5 months
Last year, I was very depressed and had recently gone through a break up. In an attempt to “numb” myself and my feelings, I began drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd. One thing led to another and I slept with a boy I barely knew. I ended up getting pregnant on June 2015. I am 5’5 and before my pregnancy, I weighed 130 pounds. By the end of my pregnancy I weighed 190! I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl Jade on March 27, 2016 weighing in at 9 lbs 10 oz. I was so happy and still am, she is the light of my life. Everything in my life would be perfect right now if it weren’t for my body and my insecurities. I got lots of stretch marks and because of the excess weight I gained, I now have a belly pouch. At 5 months PP I weigh 160 so I still want to lose at least 20 pounds. My stretch marks were so dark and ugly that I would cry myself to sleep. I started doing derma rolling and dry brushing and it has helped them immensely. I am still quite young so looking at other 18 year old bodies makes me very sad because I look nothing like that. I am also terrified that no one will want me, but I am slowly trying to accept myself. I keep reminding myself that my body is this way because I carried the love of my life in there for 10 months and I would do it all over again for her. She is so worth it
-1st picture: me at 40 weeks pregnant
-2nd picture: 1 month PP
-3rd picture: 5 months PP
4 Girls Later (Anonymous)
Hi, I have 4 girls. A 6 year old, 5 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old. I am 24. I have recently lost 50 pounds, I have been trying to tone up but now I am starting to accept maybe this is how my body is now after 4 girls. Some days I love my body, other days I despise it. Having 4 girls, i am trying to look at my body more positive, for them. In the end, we made humans and our body is just the proof of that. We are all beautiful and we have to remember that for ourselves and for our children.
3rd Time Wasn’t a Charm (Anonymous)
Ages at births: 21, 23, 26
4 months pp
Weight gained with pregnancies: 20lb, 30lb, 27lbs
Pictures are 38 weeks preggo with #3, 4 months pp side and front view with Cesarean scar
I posted on here after my first two babies forever ago it seems, seemed appropriate to do it again. My first birth was an epidural with vaccum assist, my second was natural, so when we found out we were expecting our third baby I naturally assumed we’d have another “normal” for us birth. I have always gone into labor naturally, once on my due date, once the day after, but with our third I began have prodromal labor two weeks before. Nightly I’d experience painful contractions until around midnight. They became normal, 3 days before my due date I woke up at 5 am and knew it would be the day, we packed to head to the hospital 2 hours away, dropped our older two off and were excited to meet our little man. I was 7 centimeters when we arrived, and 2 hours later I was fully dilated and pushing…then my doctor says. ” I see a scrotumn! I’ve never done a breech birth before! ” in pain and wanting to be done, I consented to a c-section. And here is where I begin to struggle, I hated my birth, I know it got me a healthy baby and we are both OK! But I hate my body because of it, not sure if it was a 3rd pregnancy or the c-section, but my tummy is NOT to my liking. I feel like i failed my body having a csection. I know too it’s only been 4 months, but I began exercise as soon as I got my go ahead and I can’t even shake these last 10 pounds. I am breastfeeding so maybe that’s why, but I’m discouraged and frustrated and know I shouldn’t be. I’ve got 3 healthy kids, and I’m healthy, why isn’t that enough for me? Why do I feel the need to fit into the pre-pregnant me? Knowing all these things doesn’t make them easier to accept for me. So that’s where I’m at.
