Month: March 2009

Missing my baby boy, and expecting my second (Shannon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Children with Health Complications, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 46 Comments

Before I ever had children I was 5’2″ and 105-110 lbs. I got pregnant with my first (Connor) when I was 19. I got stretchmarks everywhere possible! We had no idea that Connor was going to be born with any issues. He was born emergency c-section at 37 weeks. Right when he came out the doctors knew something was wrong. Connor was not breathing well, and he looked “different”. He was taken to the neonatal ICU at Children’s Hospital just hours after birth. He spent a month in the NICU (I was there every day by his side reading to him and holding him). He had to have a trach placed to breath and a g-tube placed to get nutrition. I was lucky to have an amazing fiance (now husband), who was absolutely wonderful with Connor! Connor did well for a while (lots of hospitalizations, but nothing longer than a week at a time), then when he was about 13-14 months he started running fevers all the time. They would get as high as 105.5 and nothing other than IV meds would bring them down. After running countless tests the doctors called them “central fevers”, a neurological problem. Connor was 19 months old when he passed away in his sleep at home. His heart could not handle the fevers any longer. He was and is the most amazing boy I have ever known, and I miss and love him so much. Who would have thought that a baby would be my hero. He was the happiest child I have ever met! He smiled all the time! I will never regret choosing to stay home full time with Connor. I used to say that when I was done having children I would have a tummy tuck…not anymore. I want to keep these stretch marks that my angel baby gave me. I found out I was pregnant again just 3 1/2 months after Connor went to heaven. It was very unplanned, and too soon for me. But my husband and I figure that Connor had us get pregnant with his little brother when he was ready. I am now 31 weeks along, and being followed by high risk pregnancy doctors very closely. As of now, Liam (baby number 2) looks good. I will never have the body that I used to have…but who else can say that they carried a saint?


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In labor with Connor

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Connor after birth, before Children’s Hospital arrived

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January 2008

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September 2007

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November 2007

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Valentine’s Day 2009 – 31 weeks pregnant

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Liam at 22 weeks

Updated here, here, here, here and here.

Breastfeeding

Bonnie (SOAM) Breastfeeding, Question 18 Comments

There has recently been some discussion here on this site about breastfeeding beyond toddlerhood. I decided to go ahead and make it an entry of its own so that it does not overtake the actual submission.

I want to be clear here that this post is merely to ask and answer questions about the subject – it is not here to make anyone feel judged on how things work in their family. If you breastfed for seven years or never at all, you are welcome here because this site is about motherhood, not the choices we make within it. I hope we can discuss this with gentleness and open-minded respect.

Some thoughts about nursing beyond the normal (Western society) length of 6-12 months are that it is unnatural, sexually wrong, selfish on the mother’s behalf or just plain weird. Here are some links I’ve dug up to hopefully shed some light on these ideas.

An anthropological view on the natural age to wean a human child.
La Leche League’s page on nursing beyond one year.
Extended Breastfeeding Fact Sheet on Kellymom.com
Benefits of extended nursing from Mothering.com
An article from an episode of 20/20 with links to videos. (I used to know the woman, Robyn, when she lived here and was a LLL leader, it was a surprise to see her on TV!)

So feel free to discuss, but do be polite. I will moderate comments only so far as to delete trollish ones. If you are going to say something, let it be valid not merely cruel.

Mum to 3 boys and 1 girl (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 12 Comments

Original entry here.

I had my little girl 7 weeks ago today. She was born 1 day after her due date. I let the Dr. induce me after he said “she’s going to be big, over 8lbs” so he broke my water and put me on a pit drip and after 4hrs of labor our 9lb 21″ girl was here! I gained 40lbs and have lost 22 already, that’s just with breastfeeding though. I haven’t had the energy to workout yet. When I do get back into a routine I hope to lose another 20lbs to fit back into my old jeans. I didn’t get any new stretch marks and the old ones are fading again. It is hard to look in the mirror and feel sexy or beautiful but maybe that will come again in time. I’m just amazed once again at what a woman’s body can do! I feel so very blessed to be given the chance once again to be pregnant and deliver and now nurse a healthy new life! I spend so much time now trying to think of ways to teach my girl to love herself and her body no matter what it looks like and teach my boys to honor the women who may come into their lives. Thank you again Bonnie for creating this site for everyone!
1st pic 8 months pregnant, next pics 7 weeks postpartum, pic of newborn baby girl and last pic of nursing babe.









Some Poems

Bonnie (SOAM) Poetry 0 Comment

I have excluded one of the poems Kate originally included with her submission, due to copyright issues, but wanted to pass on the recommendation she gave. It sounds like a great book, thanks, Kate!

I’m reading this beautiful poetry anthology called “A Book of Luminous Things“, and came across a few poems that really touched me and I wanted to share here. They are from a section of the book called “Woman’s Skin” which the editor, Czeslaw Milosz introduces by saying this:

“Love poetry has always been abundant in any language, so there is no point adding a few drops to the sea. Besides, it is not poetry written mostly by men that interests me, but something else, woman in her flesh, particularly as described by herself.”

In The Morning

In the morning,
holding her mirror,
the young woman
touches
her tender
lip with
her finger &
then with
the tip of
her tongue
licks it &
smiles
& admires her
eyes.

– Author unknown, translated from the Sanskrit

Loving my mama body! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 12 Comments

I’m a 40 year old mom of a beautiful 5 year old son, his dad accepts and loves my body as it is, and worships me in the most loving way. I was 35 at the time of my son’s birth and gained 50 pounds! I avoided the stretchmarks completely by slathering myself 5 times a day with belly butter, but only lost about 25 of that in the last 5 years. I wouldn’t mind fitting back into those skinny jeans from when I was a size 6, but I’m a happy mama at size 12. I eat healthy, do yoga, and breastfed my son until he was 4. We’ve been attachment parents and loved co-sleeping, and our son is very confident and well adjusted. This photo was taken by my wonderful mama friend, Jude Mooney. She does great pregnancy photos, and I’m thrilled I had her do these for me. My pregnancy journal is on www.spiralmuse.com