Hi there. I’m absolutely in love with this website, and all the open minded and supportive women!
I’m currently looking into a tummy tuck and breast augmentation. I’m looking for personal experiences, pictures, cost info payment plan ect…
Also, I have 2 children that would be (around) 1 And 3 (maybe a little older?) I would have help at home but is it even possible at that age? And how long does it take to heal enough to care for 2 toddlers?
ALL Thoughts are welcome as I’m not set on it nor against it, just something to think about. Thank you!
Question
Uneven Breasts (Proud Mom)
My baby boy is 7 months tomorrow, and I’m a 23 year old all proud battle scared mom… I’ve been 1 of the lucky ladies to not develop strech marks, but a single one right on top of my belly button, the problem I’ve had is that at least 4 months ago my baby won’t feed from the left breast for longer than 2 minutes, he just likes the right one, causing the uneven growth of the breasts, as you can see on the pics…. I will like to know if anybody else has had the same problem and if anybody has a solution for that, or else if they will get better after I finish breast feeding, I plan to do so until at least 1 year…
I will post as well some more pics on my c section scar
~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregancy & birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 months boy
10.5 months postpartum:how body change after each child (Kristin)
Number of Pregnancy/children: 3 pregnancy’s , 2 children(one ended in miscarriage)
How many months postpartum: 10.5months (as of March 16)
First entry.
Second entry.
Third entry.
I wrote here other times telling you all my story and how i was not happy about my body after 2 children but how much my beautiful children are worth every mark. Well i am 22 years old, will be 23 later this year and my hubby is 26 now, and will be 27 this year as well. We have one boy(about 26 months) and girl(10.5 months). Well a few days ago, our condom broke and now i am really worried, i love my children and we do plan on having another child in the future but i am really worried about my body after a third child. I know my child would be worth it if i was pregnant and i don’t believe in abortion. But as much i i do want another child(prefer in the future) i am still worried about the aftermath of my body, when i had my son, my body changed completely, after i had my daughter it went back to looking what it did after my son, it didn’t get any worst. I am not to happy about my body but i still have good days thinking i look good for having 2 kids, and my husband loves my body especially my boobs but what if after our third child my boobs change, or my stomach. I am also worried because if i was to get pregnant that meant my body only had a 10.5 month rest before getting pregnant again, my body only had about 6 months rest before i got pregnant with my second, so i am scared that my body will change so much cause i didnt give it much time to heal for all pregnancy’s, you know? you think what i am saying is right or does it not matter? I know my child would be worth it but i am still scared. Does your body change after you have each child? how much? Mine didn’t change after 2nd child so does that mean it wont after my 3rd child? or will it a lot? I am asking this, but really it dont matter cause i plan on having a 3rd child in the future anyways, i am just paranoid as how i will change after a 3rd child. I love my husband and kids so much and i do look forward to getting pregnant(i love being pregnant)and having another child, and i wish i could just shut this thought out of my head, i hate it, i do. Anyway thanks for reading, i truly do appreciate it. Trust me i am having a 3rd child god willing regardless but thought i would get some input. Oh and i am 113 pounds now.Thanks
First 2 pics are of me now(10.5 postpartum)
Other 2 pics ,me now with top on
Pregnancy and Firefighting (Heather)
24 years old
1 pregnancy & 1 birth
6 weeks PP
I am 24 years old and am very short and not proportional. I have always had large thighs, large boobs (36DD), and wide hips for only being 5 foot tall (size 9). I have never really had any big problems with my body. My stomach was somewhat flat (never picture perfect) but I was fine with it. I am a firefighter and EMT and in order for me to go back to that, I will have to do a lot of work to get my body back in shape. I gained about 35lbs during the pregnancy and at 6 weeks PP I have lost about 20 of that but I know that I have a lot of months of hard work to get my body toned enough to be able to do the strenuous work of a firefighter. I know that I want at least 1 more child. I don’t know if it will be worth all of the hard work if I choose to have a child again in a couple years. This is my question to all of you experienced women, should I go ahead and get pregnant again in the next year and have my other child before I go through all of that trouble? I’m afraid that as soon as I get my body back (if I’m able to), we’ll be ready for another 1 and all of that work will be wasted.
I really hate how my body looks right now. None of my clothes fit and I was sooo looking forward to being able to wear all of my old clothes once I had my baby. My bras don’t even fit. I know I should be proud of my body but I’m actually ashamed. I hate going around my friends because I don’t want them to see how my stomach now hangs over my pants and how I now have a huge muffin top. I feel like they are judging me. Most of my friends are guys and they don’t understand how much your body is still changed after pregnancy. My fiance is constantly making comments about my weight but swears up and down that he didn’t call me fat. He is also a firefighter and constantly tells me how lazy I am and tells me I need to get up and go exercise. My chief expects me to go get bigger gear and start firefighting again because my midwife cleared me to go back to work. He doesn’t understand that my abs haven’t grown back together or that the ligaments in my back are healing from being stretched out. It’s been such a struggle to be a woman in a male dominated profession. I have had to train really hard to be able to even partially keep up and I feel just about worthless now. It is going to take a lot of dedication to get back to where I was. Have any of you been able to do it?
The pics are me 6 weeks PP and my perfect little boy, Charlie.
Needing Guidance- Finally reaching out (Anonymous)
It will be a year next week that my son was born. I have kept these feelings inside for far too long. A year that I have been living in this body that I now call my own. My belly button still looks the same, saggy and loose. I still have “love” handles and flub around my waist. It still hurts too look at myself naked but at least I can hide it with clothes. I still know what lies underneath but no one else does. My little secret. What I cannot hide is my face. Since I have been breastfeeding, I have broken out in horrible cystic acne all over my face. Painful lumps under my skin. Some the size of quarters. I’ve been to the dermatologist and I have had creams and some shots but nothing seems to work. And the things that would work I cannot have because I still breastfeed. But I REFUSE to give up breastfeeding just because I have an ugly face. My son loves it too much to stop, and I just can’t cut him off, not until I know he’s ready. I cry every time I shower and wash my face. I cry when I’m naked because I realize that this isn’t a dream and I am awake and this IS my new body. I will NEVER have my old body back. I cry when I look in the mirror at my face. My face is hiding behind pustules and cysts. It hurts to make facial expressions, it hurts to talk, it hurts to see. It just hurts, and no one seems to understand my hurt. I have reached out to my “friends” but none of them seem to have body issues or face issues that I have..or at least they do an amazing job hiding it. I’m a single mom. This is suppose to be the best time of my life yet it hurts the most. I don’t even want my picture taken with my baby because I feel my face is so ugly. And stress doesn’t help it.My son’s father is the ultimate LOSER. Goes weeks without seeing his child, doesn’t offer a dime and randomly calls once a month to see him. Unemployed. Criminal history. Could possibly have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I don’t want his money. I don’t want his help as a parent; I don’t want anything from him. I just want him to go away. I want him to disappear. He offers nothing good to my son. He’s just heartbreak waiting to happen for my son as he get older. A disappointment time bomb ticking away. I HATE the fact that he’s “around”–if you can even call it that..WHY? WHY stick around?? Just GO AWAY. He’s like the pustules on my face that won’t leave. I’m at my wits end my my face, my body, and my EX. I feel so alone. I love my son with all heart but my body/face issues have really taken a toll on me and I’m afraid he will soon feel my sadness too.
I more depressed now than I have ever felt in a long time.
I don’t know what to do…
– “From Hot to Not“
Ce la Vie (Anonymous)
Age: 23
Number of Births and Pregnancies: 1
Age of Baby and Months Postpartum: 6 months
My story begins in March of 2008 when I had an abdominal myomectomy to remove a 3 1/2 lb fibroid leaving me with an scar that was much larger than a c-section scar. Then six short months later I found myself pregnant, a huge surprise to my boyfriend and I. We had just gotten back together after being apart for 2 months while he went to AA and anger management bc I said no I wouldn’t deal with it anymore.
My pregnancy was not the easiest pregnancy. I immediately started to have cramping which lasted well into my 2nd trimester, during which time the cramps turned into premature contractions, they told me I had not allowed myself to heal enough from the abdominal myomectomy and bc the fibroid was on the broad ligament that supported everything.
I was a workout fanatic before and during my pregnancy up until I was placed on bed rest. Bed rest was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through since I am such an active person. Once I was released I walked and walked and even danced at 39 1/2 weeks to get my baby here on time or early. As it turns out she was born naturally on her due date at a healthy 7 lbs 11oz and 20 inches.
After I had my daughter I was not expecting all the loose and saggy skin. Since I was so toned before pregnancy I hadn’t even considered the possibility that my stomach would never look the same. Having been heavy once before as a teenager and then loosing the weight, my stomach was always my pride bc it was completely flat and toned. I didn’t get stretchmarks until my 8th month I cried for a week. I gained a total of 35 lbs and lost 20 in the first two weeks. Now I just don’t feel that I have a gorgeous body anymore or that I should be in better shape by now. O and by the way my mother had major surgery 2 weeks after I gave birth and would have died had I not been in her hospital room. Because my relationship is on a precarious ledge in my opinion it makes it worse because I dread the thought of maybe having to go out into the cruel world with a scared, deflated stomach. But I have my beautiful daughter who is the sunshine in my life. Your life truly does change when you have a baby in every way, I look at my peers around me and they suddenly seem childish and young. I have my good days and bad with my stomach and body image, but Ce la vie. And what a beautiful life this is.
I just have 2 questions:
1: Will the sagging and creasing get any better with time and proper toning techniques or will it stay this way?
2: Will the dark stretchmarks around my pelvis lighten?
Any suggestions or comments are greatly appreciated :) thank you for listening!
My photos:
1: My stomach as it is today
2: Pre-baby
3:My Beautiful Baby Girl
4: A blurry picture of my abdominal myomectomy scar
5: My side profile as of now
Discussion: Men within SOAM
There have been a few recent comments here about how we, as women, feel about men commenting here. Above all else, I deeply want this to be a safe place for women – but it is, of course, the internet.
I have chosen to keep this forum open and public for a few reasons, but no matter what options I think about, it all boils down to this: we are on the world wide web. Even if I required membership and only allowed women in, it would not stop men from entering (and likely would keep all the good men out).
In my personal and humble opinion, we all benefit from men coming here and commenting here. Men benefit by seeing reality just as much as women do, and women benefit by hearing that men love reality just as we are so afraid they don’t.
That all said, I do my very, very best to keep the comments here appropriate and maintain the safe feeling. Men do, from time to time, comment, and for the most part they are supportive. On the rare occasion someone is not appropriate, I delete the comment before it’s ever posted.
Now that I’m shared this here, I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter – how does it make you feel when men comment here? Does it, or would it change anything about how you contribute to this site?
Considering another child…. Need Advice. (Anonymous)
~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 and 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 yrs. old
My husband and I are considering having another child. We’ve been together since I was 18 and have taken our time to plan out our children. The problem I have is this: I really hate and I mean HATE with a passion that if I do get pregnant again our children will be about 4-5 years apart. I really don’t like that at all. I know that it’s my fault since we should’ve done this sooner but a lot of things happened that couldn’t be controlled. By the time the dust cleared I realized that my daughter is turning 4! My brother and sister and I don’t get along and we have about 5-6 years of difference between us. I know that siblings can and do get along all through their lives but I can only draw from my experiences. As crazy as this seems I really wanted “them” to have a real sibling relationship that I never had. I always wanted a brother/sister for my daughter to be 1-2 yrs. apart. That way their teen angst can be sailed through with each other about the same time. I also wanted to go to amusement parks and whatnot and we can all go without worry that the teen thinks or bugs her younger sibling for no reason. Now of course I did numbers and what can a 7 yr. old have in common with an 11 yr. old or a 12 yr. old with a 16 yr. old. Can you help by telling me your experiences as a mother with children of a gap of 4-5 yrs. and also of having a younger/older sibling of 4-5 yrs. apart. I now not everything in life can be controlled but it would be nice to hear stories from both sides. I’ve been told to not think about it and just do it but I can’t help feeling apprehensive. Please help!
Staying Hopeful. (Anonymous)
25 years old
I’m not pregnant, yet, nor have I ever been pregnant. I figured this would be the perfect place to come for support with infertility. My partner and I have been trying to conceive going on 2 yrs. I’m hoping that there are mothers here on The Shape of a Mother that have been through the same thing my partner and I are going through right now. Like most women, that’s one thing I look forward to is motherhood and starting a family. I am a little, or uh maybe a lot afraid that we may never have children, thinking about it gets me all teary eyed. My best friend has two children and truth be known seeing her with them, makes me just want to breakdown. While I’m so very happy for her, it’s still something I’m very sensitive and slightly jealous of I really hate saying that but it’s the truth. Hearing her talking about having more kids and looking at baby clothes when we go shopping together makes me want to curl up in a little ball and weep. I went to the gynecologist recently to talk about infertility and he put me on birth control for 3 months to try to get me ovulating regularly, I have monthly periods but my cycle is irregular. Has anyone out there had any luck with the birth control method? I also have a ultrasound scheduled in Jan, which I’m really freaking out about, they’ll be checking for PCOS. I’m hoping and praying I do not have that, but there is a chance that I might because of some symptoms. The only problem I do not have that most ppl I know with PCOS have is being overweight. I lost 70 pounds when I was 18 and I have been up and down for years, but I have stuck around 150 the last couple years. I’m really insecure about my body, because the stretch marks I have from losing weight and I joke I look like I’ve had children but I havent. I’m hoping the ultrasound can help to narrow down what it is that’s keeping us from conceiving, whether it be PCOS or nothing. so we can hopefully start our little family soon. I’m definitely trying to stay hopeful but I know in the end I’ll be devastated if I find out we cannot have children.
young 22 year old mother of 3, soon to be 4 in need of advice (Anonymous)
I am a 22 year old mother of 3, soon to be 4. I am now 20 wks preganant. I am having very mixed emotions. This is my seventh pregnancy. I was 14 when i miscarried twins. i had my oldest daughter at 16, she is now 5. My second is 4 and my youngest just made 1. Yes, all girls!!! But they are so beautiful and fun. They were all born by c-section. I am a little bitter about that becuase my doctor never really let me know why my first was scheduled i was only a day overdue and i didn’t even get the chance to be induced. I have had a total of 3 miscarrages, one which was ectopic( where my left tube was removed). So I have been cut in the same spot four times already. i am really scared about having a fourth c-section being that my youngest will only be 18 months on my scheduled delivery date. i know every womans body is different, but I hemmoraged with my last. i am soo worried right now. I actually contemplated getting an abortion. My kids father wasn’t really supportive of having another child at the begining because he believes that i am already stressed out and he worries that he will be left to take care of our three daughters if something were to go wrong. But I just want to believe that this is all part of God’s plan for me. I can’t honestly say that i am excited because we are having financial problems and our house is going into foreclosure. My husband really doesn’t keep a steady job and he isn’t really much help when it comes to domestic duties. i am trying hard not to stress out but i can’t help it. i really love my girls they are so beautiful and talented but i cry when i think of losing them. I know I probably sound dramatic but with my last they told me not to have anymore only i was too young to get my tubes tide. i feel so lost right now i feel like i can’t control my emotions. I don’t want to say that i am depressed but i don’t feel like myself these days. It’s really as though I don’t even know who I am. My whole life is centered around my kids i don’t go out, i’ve never been to a club and i don’t have friends. Don’t get me wrong dress-up and tea parties are going to always be great but i just want to know who I am outside of being a good mother. It doesn’t help that people constanly tell me how I look 16 and I’m only a baby what am i doing with all these babies. But I don’t regret them. I just want to define myself outside of my house. I just feel so alone. Does anyone have any type of advice for me?