Staying Hopeful. (Anonymous)

25 years old
I’m not pregnant, yet, nor have I ever been pregnant. I figured this would be the perfect place to come for support with infertility. My partner and I have been trying to conceive going on 2 yrs. I’m hoping that there are mothers here on The Shape of a Mother that have been through the same thing my partner and I are going through right now. Like most women, that’s one thing I look forward to is motherhood and starting a family. I am a little, or uh maybe a lot afraid that we may never have children, thinking about it gets me all teary eyed. My best friend has two children and truth be known seeing her with them, makes me just want to breakdown. While I’m so very happy for her, it’s still something I’m very sensitive and slightly jealous of I really hate saying that but it’s the truth. Hearing her talking about having more kids and looking at baby clothes when we go shopping together makes me want to curl up in a little ball and weep. I went to the gynecologist recently to talk about infertility and he put me on birth control for 3 months to try to get me ovulating regularly, I have monthly periods but my cycle is irregular. Has anyone out there had any luck with the birth control method? I also have a ultrasound scheduled in Jan, which I’m really freaking out about, they’ll be checking for PCOS. I’m hoping and praying I do not have that, but there is a chance that I might because of some symptoms. The only problem I do not have that most ppl I know with PCOS have is being overweight. I lost 70 pounds when I was 18 and I have been up and down for years, but I have stuck around 150 the last couple years. I’m really insecure about my body, because the stretch marks I have from losing weight and I joke I look like I’ve had children but I havent. I’m hoping the ultrasound can help to narrow down what it is that’s keeping us from conceiving, whether it be PCOS or nothing. so we can hopefully start our little family soon. I’m definitely trying to stay hopeful but I know in the end I’ll be devastated if I find out we cannot have children.

17 thoughts on “Staying Hopeful. (Anonymous)

  • Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 9:02 am

    I hope and pray that you can get pregnant soon. You of all people deserve it the most! Having said that, Its not always the woman with the problem. My aunt tried to conceive for about 10 years and it turned out to be my uncle that had the problem. Just a thought. They have gone on to have 2 beautiful twin boys with a little medical intervention. I hope this helps! If it is you, there are so many medical advances these days that having a baby of your own is very possible! Best of luck and God bless!

  • Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 9:32 am

    I have been on birth control since I was 15 (not because I was sexually active, but because I have endometriosis) and event though I was on it (and am on it now at 23) I still did not have a regular cycle. I got pregnant with my first when I had just ended one type of birth control…I was supposed to wait for the first day of my next period to try the new birth control (that period never came…I later learned that you are more fertile when you have been on bc for a while, and then stop taking it). After my son was born I got the depot provera shot (I would absolutely not recommend this shot…I bled for about 6 months straight). The shot is good for 3 months…I did not get another one. After that my husband and I used protection until my son was about 15 months old. At that time I decided that I wanted to give Connor a sibling and we started trying to have a baby. At that point I have not had bc in my system for a year…I did not get pregnant for another 7 months (at which point I had stopped trying because my son passed away…I am under child loss “missing my baby boy and expecting my second”). So…I was off of birth control for 19 months before I got pregnant again, and I only got pregnant after stopped trying. My doctor said that right once you stop stressing, that is usually when you get pregnant. I also had 3 laparoscopies between the age of 15-almost 17 because of my endometriosis…(have you had a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis? That can cause a lot of difficulty with getting pregnant…). Good luck…and never give up!!!!

  • Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about your infertility–I’ve been trying to have a child for 10 years (tried letrozole, etc)….and yes, I was diagnosed with PCOS though I am not grossly overweight. It sucks, but it will be okay–I think you’re being very healthy by expressing yourself and letting yourself feel, because grieving is part of dealing with infertility. With PCOS for people who want to get pregnant, metformin/glucophage pill therapy is part of the course of treatment, alongside clomid/letrozole to help you ovulate. I know plenty of mothers who got pregnant despite PCOS.

    There is a great support group for PCOS on the internet called “soulcysters” at–check them out.

  • Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Try reading “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” – it is on Amazon

  • Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    Read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler. It is amazing – WAY more information than doctors give you. Start charting your periods by taking your tempature and monitoring your cervix and cervical mucus. Sometimes doctors just want to give you the drugs to make it “easier” when what you really need to do is just figure out your cycle better. From charting you will more than likely find out what is going on and probably be able to “fix” it or at least use that information to better diagnose what is going on (if anything!) I would say a good majority of “unexplained infertile” couples are just not aware of how their bodies work!! It is a liberating book. I have used it for natural birth control AND to get pregnant. We are now pregnant with #5! Hope this helps! Also you CAN get pregnant naturally with PCOS – my friend had 2 children 2 years apart by just knowing her body and how it was working. Also adjusting your diet can help with PCOS too. If in 4-6 months of timing sex perfectly (which is SO easy to do with charting) you haven’t concieved then look into it. You are young, at least have a large window to deal with it now! Good luck!

  • Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    just came on here to say, have you thought about adoption? i am adopted because my mother couldn’t get pregnant. its fantastic and she is just as much of a mother to me as i consider myself a mother to my biological children. i love my mom and dad very much and wouldnt change our situation for the world and they consider me as their child and tell me they wouldnt change it either. i hope that you can concieve a child of your own, but if it comes down to it, dont be afraid to adopt!
    also good luck with the ultrasound, im sure everything is fine!

  • Friday, January 22, 2010 at 4:52 am

    Hi, It took me 2 years to get pregnant with my last baby i did have 2 miscarriages in between, i never had any fertility tests done. sometimes going on the pill can take alot of stress of the woman as she knows she can not get pregnant then when she stops she falls pregnant as her body is more relaxed. hopefully this will be the case for you but if not and you do have a fertility problem you are in a very positive situation as you will find out at an early age with already trying for 2 years so will get lots of help and your chances of getting pregnant will be greater than if you were 10 years older… I hope you get pregnant soon good luck XX

  • Friday, January 22, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    I have a tip thats kinda lame but works every time! If the man drinks rockstar energy drinks a lot around the time you are trying to conceive it makes the sperm swim faster. I know its not scientific but its worth a shot!

  • Friday, January 22, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    if you do have PCOS, please talk to your doctor about metformin. It is a drug that diabetics use to help regulate their insulin levels. Women with PCOS have an insulin resistance which is what screws with hormone regulation and your whole menstrual cycle/ovulation. It’s not a miracle drug for everyone, but I do have 2 friends who have PCOS, went on metformin and got pregnant within a few cycles (and this is after multiple years of infertility and other fertility treatments including IVF). Good luck!

  • Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 3:51 am

    I feel for you, I really do – I’m 28 and my husband and I are faced with a similar situation, having tried for our first baby for nearly two years. While PCOS isn’t the case for me, I have had previous surgeries for endometriosis, Zoladex implants for six months (putting me into a menopausal-like state) and have recently discovered scarring on my tubes, one is completely blocked. We’ve been told that IVF will be our only option (there is no male factor) so that is that route we’re saving towards. I commend you for posting, as there are many women you visit this website who are in this situation – waiting patiently (and sometimes impatiently!) for a baby and seeking hope and support from others while waiting to achieve their dream. :)

  • Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 6:22 am

    I was really moved reading your message. I know exactly how you feel because I have been in the very same boat. My husband and I tried for almost 5 years to have a baby and, during the harrowing years of unsuccessful hormone treatment and IVF, I too began to alienate myself from friends with children; I couldn’t share their joy, it hurt too much. My infertility issues seemed to be taking over and I didn’t like who I was becoming. In the end, I realised I had to come to terms with it and get on with my life. I sought the help of a naturopath, merely to restore some balance to my hormones after the IVF, and was lucky to find a very knowledgeable and experienced practitioner. I was prescribed a cocktail of natural and homeopathic potions, including antimonit/echinacea injections to clear my blocked tubes and, 4 months later, to my total utter surprise, I finally found myself pregnant at the ripe old age of 36! I really wish I had taken this path earlier, my little nipper might have been able to have siblings. Alas, I only struck lucky once, but I count my blessings every day! Nature really does work in mysterious ways! So, don’t give up hope and if you know of a good naturopath, give it a go – you have nothing to lose!

  • Saturday, April 3, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    I suffered from secondary infertility due to PCOS, which made it hard for me to fall with my 2nd son. I was told never to have children because it would kill me. I did it anyway, and Im still here, and so are my boys. I cant have anymore kids now. Ive been rendered infertile from scaring and infection in my uterus from a burst cyst that my doctor ignored. We dont hold onto the hope of having a girl. It hurts, because we didnt get to complete our family, but Im happy, extatic that we got our boys, 3 and 1

  • Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    I also have PCOS and was diagnosed at 18. My doctor put me on Metformin to help. My periods were always regular and I was always within the 53kg-55kg weight range. After getting married I went on the mini-pill. I must have missed one or taken it too late, but I was pregnant about 8 months after getting married! PCOS does not mean you can’t have a baby. Find a doctor that is experienced with treating patients with PCOS and stays up to date with info coming out about it.

    Metformin might help you too. At least if you find out you have PCOS then you will know what is causing the infertility and there will be ways to help. Not knowing what is causing infertility would be worse for me.

    I now have a lovely daughter (although unplanned) and we can’t imagine life without her.

  • Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    I just wanted to tell you that my husband and I tried for two years before getting pregnant. With our first, we got pregnant accidentally. I was on birth control! So we expected everything to happen quickly when we decided to have a second. Instead, after a year of trying, we finally went to see someone about the issue. I went through just about every test out there and everything was fine. My husband went through every test. He had a sperm count on the lower side of average, but still totally normal. It wasn’t until I gave up, donated all of the baby and maternity stuff I still had hanging around, that we finally got pregnant.

    It’s important to find out what’s going on, but remember to take care of yourself and try to de-stress. I didn’t realize how freaked out I was until we took a break.

    I really hope that you are able to conceive soon!

  • Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 1:49 am

    Hi. I just wanted to say not to give up. I have PCOS too, and both of my children took a little while to conceive, but I have 2 beautiful children. My first took 2 years and losing 80 lbs. to conceive. My second took 3 years, losing about 40 lbs and metformin. Don’t give up hope. Work to resolve any hormonal problems as well as weight issues, have a good doctor doing regular bloodwork to see where you are, and check out “taking charge of your fertility” and start charting your cycles so you can get familiar wjth your body and your cycles and see if you are ovulating. Don’t give up.. it might take some extra time and work, but it really does make you appreciate your babies more when you get them {{{hugs}}}

  • Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 5:50 am

    Check out Julia Indichova’s book titled Inconceivable. I read this after my 3rd m/c and it was the starting point for a beautiful journey of healing and health for me. I just delivered our sweet little “miracle” baby girl on July 11th, who was conceived naturally despite all the drs telling us it couldn’t happen. Best of luck to you on your path. You can read more about the book and support programs at http://www.fertile

  • Wednesday, January 30, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    Hi, I’m struggling with the same problem. I found out I had PCOS 2 years ago. I’m married for 5 years and my husband and I have been having unprotected sex years before we got married and I never felt pregnant yet. I’ve tried several infertility drugs including clomid and ovidrel and nothing seems to help. I’m at a point where I’m feeling frustrated because the PCOS is causing my body to change and my journey seems impossible, my heart bleeds each time I see a pregnant woman and says a silent prayer that I too will receive that blessing. I don’t know anybody personally who has PCOS and most of my friends doesn’t even know what it is. I’m really touched by all your stories it has gives me hope and shown me that woman living with PCOS can lead a healthy life and have kids. I feel much more positive now. Thank you all for your posts and I wish you all the best of luck on your journey, I hope somEday I will too have a tale to Tel of how I conceived my own Lil miracle…till then I’m willing to try anythng and take any advise that might help.

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