Update

The Liberation of my Breasts (Amy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breasts, Mom over 30, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 19 Comments

When I was young I noticed breasts, mostly those that were perky and well-rounded. I had already been swayed by the world into thinking that there’s a sort of standard for the parts of a woman’s body that feed her young. As I grew into my teens and looked at my own mother’s breasts I saw those of a woman, and I didn’t like what I saw. I wanted mine to be perfect, perky, and round.

Before becoming a mother my breasts weren’t “perfect” since perfect was an image that I could not maintain – it was outside of my body, it was outside of me. They were small, round (at least from what I remember), and I had the standard breast that was larger than the other. “Rocket tits” were among the comments I received about my protruding nipples.

During my first breastfeeds I noticed the love that flowed through my body into my daughter and I had a new found love for my breasts – a circle of love completion. Oh – so that’s what they’re for! It all came together.

And then I had two more children and my breasts waxed and waned as they got smaller and larger, and more stretched out. I really connected with a Momma blogger’s post about “can I sling them over my shoulder to feed the baby in the backseat!”

When I went through a divorce recently I realized I had some serious negativity towards the way my breasts looked. As much as I *tried* to love them I was afraid of how they would be perceived by others – specifically a man. (I knew darned well my children didn’t care!)

So I chose to finally walked through the fear. At age 32, almost three years postpartum from the youngest who is still nursing, and with three children, I bare my beautiful breasts to the world. I love them. I love me.

Thank you to The Shape of a Mother for providing the platform you do that allows women to liberate themselves from body hatred.

050509-amy-1

Updated here.

No Longer Ashamed (Kerry)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 8 Comments

I am 18 years old and due in 6 days. Before I got pregnant I had the typical, enviable teenage body. I was thin, not a stretch mark to my name, and had abs to die for. I love being pregnant and feeling my little one move inside me, I feel so blessed that I have been given this amazing job to carry another life! I started my pregnancy off at about 130 at 5’8” and have gained almost 60lbs, it’s hard for me to hear EVERYONE tell me I will go right back to my old body just because I was thin before, because frankly I don’t believe them. The prospect of what my body might look like after birth has haunted me since I found out I was expecting. I’ve cried over it and swore I would never wear a swimsuit again. The media is so horrible to us pregnant women, they show us airbrushed models, a body none of us can ever achieve, because it’s not even real! I’m planning a homebirth, and at my last midwife appointment I was told about this site. It has changed my outlook sooooo much! I can’t even begin to describe the peace that’s beginning to come over me about my soon to be post baby body! This is the first time I have taken a picture of my belly and not been embarrassed about my stretchmarks, I began to get them at 36 weeks and have tried to hide them since then. I haven’t once let my thighs be in a shot due to the stretch marks I got either. The right side of my body has much more, I have no clue why. Anyway, Thank you!!! It’s amazing to be able to view my mommy marks in a new light! I will definitely post p.p. pics down the road! :) (Hopefully he/she comes soon! I’ve been getting a lot of contractions today!!!)
1st pic: 12 weeks
2nd pic: 6 months
3rd pic: 39 weeks + 1
4th pic: my little one

Updated here, here and here.

Update after 3 Months of Pilates (Tamara)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 41 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

Hi! Its me again…im sure you have seen my previous posts and i promised i would keep up to date with the results of pilates and running to at least “try” and get my belly back to what it once was…anyhow the first two pics you can really see the definition the pilates has done….i still have loose skin above my belly button….but im not ganna stop working at it….im very happy with the results! just knowing what 3 months can do…imagine what a year could!! as for the stretchies…im looking into chemical peels to fade them a bit….the pics fade them but they are really deep some of them…the next pics are of my n my hubby and the lil man!! hope this inspires you guys! i know iv been inspired by everyone on here! btw i do have a myspace page if anyone ever wanted to chat or just check it out…https://www.myspace.com/ant_1129. Take care everyone!

Update (K)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Previous entry here.

Just wanted to give everyone an update on my progress after posting a previous story on the site
I have noticed a change in my body and my confidence is beginning to grow. I will never wear a bikini again but the skin has tightened and my tummy is flatter

I have started exercising and being more conscious of what I eat. My husband and I take the kids on a walk every night. This helps us to unwind and reconnect as a couple as well as getting some fresh air and exercise.

I still don’t love my body, but I don’t hate it anymore and am learning to accept it

The photo below was taken at 11 months PP

042909-k-1

Successful UBA5C (Stacy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Birth, Breastfeeding, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Homebirth, Postpartum, Submissions, Update, VBAC 15 Comments

I am updating from my previous entry here…

I am ecstatic to announce the arrival of our son. He arrived vaginally, at home, 10#5oz, 22 1/2 and perfectly healthy. I have had 5 previous csections and have yet to even process the immense healing that has come and will come from this. I love this website and wanted to come here to share my story and God’s glory with all those who are seeking a VBAC of one sort or another, women contemplating UC or UBAC as well as women dealing with body issues. I have that I already seem myself as the most beatuiful woman in the world now. Seriously, I am SOOOO greatful for what my body has done, through all of my pregnancies and labors and birth and surgery. I am overjoyed!

Haven
3/30/09
10# 5oz
22 1/2 inch
14 3/4 head

Question CPD

Updated here and here.

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Submissions, Update 5 Comments

I don’t have any pictures to share this time….but instead, complaints. I have posted here twice before. Once at 4 months PP here and once at 7 months PP here. By the time I was about 10 months PP I was back to normal and completely happy with my body again. Once I started working full time again, about a year ago, I gained back about 5 pounds due to not having time to work out as much. I was still pretty happy with what I had. Until about 6 months ago….I’ve always been a pretty high strung person, but I began to feel more anxious than ever and was really stressing out about everything. My doctor decided to try me on Zoloft. This is the first time I had ever been on any type of medication for anxiety or anything for that matter. At first I started feeling better, calmer…but more hungry and lazier than ever. I still push myself to workout at least 3
days a week and I have been eating healthy, as I almost always have. The pounds keep coming. I have gained at least 10-15 pounds since being on the medication. I seem to have lost the muscle tone I had despite working out. My doctor says that the Zoloft will not cause these things and has ever suggested increasing my dose. I plan on stopping the medication under supervision….of a different doctor. It sucks cause I loved my post partum shape and now I hate my flabby body and find it harder to enjoy life and my family due to feeling so bad about my body. No matter what I eat or don’t eat or how hard I work out, I can’t get the pounds to budge…they just keep creeping up.

He is Here! (Mary)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 19 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

Age: 22
Births: 2, vaginal deliveries
Kids: 2 year old girl, 2 week old boy

Hi, this is my third posting and I love this website! Since my last posting my son arrived. The birth was amazing, 10 hours, with my husband, mom, and sister present. He was 7lbs 3oz and 19.75in. I went into labor on my due date, and he arrived the next morning.

My body had changed so much when I had my daughter that I didnt really care what it would look like after I had my son, I gained about 30lbs from the day we found out I was pregnant (most in the second trimester) (which put me 40lbs away from my goal weight), and still got some new stretchmarks on my belly, I was just meant to have them I guess! I exersized and ate right through most of my pregnancy, even loosing a few pounds in my last week due to lots of walking to try to go into labor! I started working out 1 week pp, and plan to keep pushing as long as my body will hold up!

I am going to start saving for a tummy tuck because we are done having kids and I really want to regain my old body, its not that I want to look like someone else, or that I have unrealistic views of how I should look, but I really try to take care of myself and there is nothing I can do to loose the extra skin and stretch marks. I know this web site is about support and acceptance of how having children may change you but this is something I need to do for me, and I feel like it is more than just physical acceptance. I really appreciate all the support I have gotten from the amazing women that post here, and I will continue to update my changes and give my support to others.

Attached are some photos, the first is me hours before going into labor, then my little man, and then me 2 weeks pp.

I Want to See it as Beautiful (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 23 Comments

Prior to pregnancy I suffered an eating disorder that led me to live with an unhealthy weight of around 105 and lower. I am 5’5. Just prior to pregnancy I had gained enough to get my period back and sure enough, here I am today. I knew that I had to gain a “normal persons weight” as well as pregnancy weight in order to be healthy and…so I did. Obvsiously this took a drastic tole on my body and shape during the process. I went from about 105 to 208 on the day of my sons birth. My tiny perky boobs turned into tiny sagging breasts which was devastating for me and my body concious self. My flat stomach turned into dough and no matter how often during these past three years I have worked out , it just wont changed and for me, it has been three years not months. I have tried everything. Because I am open to plastic surgery I will be having a tummy tuck in the future after another child. Thankfully, I am with someone that I truly love who loves my body that I have not fully shown him. I understand where all of you are coming from and it is so sad. I am actually even more sad to see there are so many of us feeling this way although it is inspiration at the same time. I feel horribly about my body but it is odd that when I look at all of you I see so much beauty in what all of you find ugly. I see your bodies as a story, well travelled, beautiful process. I just do not see myself in that light. It feels devastating.

I am trying to work on embracing my body but I know that it will take time.
I hope that we can all learn to appreciate the beauty that we have in ourselves and stop looking at the outside.

My partner says that he does not mind the marks and extra skin that I worry about and I try to believe him. He is so genuine when he says it though. I am working on trusting that. He says that he fell in love with me after I had my child and this body so why would be ever judge it now. Most importantly what I think we all need to know is. When a man who loves you looks at you, he DOES feel the same way we feel when we look at them without judgement. He said, “When I look at you I see you as a whole, one person, the person that I love. I dont look at you in portins and pieces that are separate. You are just you, as a whole and I love that”

Hopefully this helps :) I am trying myself….Good luck to all of you beautiful women.

~22 Year old Mom of a 3 year old

Updated here.

3 months after delivering a baby boy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Hey everyone!

I have been coming to this site for a long time. I started reading all the stories and looking at all the pictures probably a year before I even got pregnant. I am 24 years old and delivered a healthy baby boy on December 20th, 2008. My pregnancy and labour all went so amazing. I had a short 5 hours of labour and out came my boy at 7 lbs 12 oz. I absolutely love being a mom.

I started working out at about 7 weeks postpartum. I don’t own a scale, but I can tell I am getting close to my pre-pregnancy weight. Thanks to all the moms for posting your pictures and stories. As far as I’m concerned we are all super moms! :)

Updated here.

The aftermath of sexual violence + the beginning of healing (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Update 21 Comments

As a young teen, just as my body – to my great excitement – was starting to change, I was gang raped. The excitement of becoming a woman was taken away from me and the relationship I had with my body turned from love to pure hatred. They say that the body is a temple and my temple had been invaded, scorned, hurt and permanently destroyed. I was never fat, but started perceiving my wide hips and full buttocks as being fat and I developed a serious complex. Not even in front of my husband did I feel comfortable and I was convinced that he secretly thought I was unattractive and even disgusting.

When I got pregnant, I started worrying about my weight gain and how my body would change. What if I couldn’t lose the excess weight after giving birth? What if I got stretch marks? What if my husband would never want to make love to me again? I did like my pregnant belly, though, and was able to see the beauty in it. It was the time after the delivery that I was worried about.

Then I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. A few days later I stood in the shower and looked at my body in the mirror for the first time. My belly was still round as if I were four months pregnant and my whole body looked full and soft and feminine. “It’s beautiful”, I thought to my surprise. The femininity that I had previously regarded as unattractive and “fat” now looked pretty and inviting. For all these years I had disrespected my body, I had consciously hurt myself in order to punish it for having been raped, for simply having been there, for not having been able to escape. Now I was in awe: it had carried my son for nine months, had put up with the strain of being pregnant, it had miraculously given birth to a perfect baby and was now producing the nourishment to sustain him. But it wasn’t just due to the respect that I made peace with my body. I truly find it beautiful. And I finally love being a woman!

“Anonymous”, 29 years old

Updated here.