Twins

B/G Twins, 4 1/2 Months Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 19 Comments

2 pregnancies
2 c-sections
3 kids
2 1/2 yr old girl
4 1/2 month B/G twins
My age: 30

I am 30 years old. I had my first daughter at age 27. She was 8 1/2 lbs, born by c-section due to my hips being narrow and the risk of her getting stuck. I chose the csection. She was the light of my life and in the first few months I couldnt bear to be apart from her longer than 20 minutes or I felt panicky. I hated my body. I hated the flab. My breasts looked decent still, but that was it. I gained 55 lbs and it took a year to lose it all, but my belly was still flabby. Shortly after she turned 2, we started trying for another baby. I was having bleeding for 23 days every month due to low progesterone. We fixed that problem and 9 long months later (i was nervous it would never happen), we got pregnant with twins. This was what I always wanted. Lots of kids, close together and B/G twins! I was ecstatic. I had them at 37 wks, 2 days by c-section due to my boy’s cord presenting and I was 1 cm dilated, they didn’t want to risk me going into labor. The twins were born 6 lbs 14 oz, 20 in and 6 lbs 13 oz, 19 3/4 in. Healthy. No NICU. Came home with me. I gained 65 lbs. I’ve lost 47 lbs now. I’m hideous. Im just 5’1″. And I still get asked if I’m pregnant multiple times a day, regardless of if I have the three kids with me! I have diastasis recti. Can’t do ab work. I’m helpless and in the prison of this body. Friends say, “ur amazing! U manage all 3 kids and u had 3 big, healthy babies! U carried twins to term!” Yada yada yada. Well I didn’t do that. God did. It’s all biological. It just happened. I didn’t do anything. I have 2 daughters and I desperately do not want them to feel like I feel. I want them to love their bodies. The pressure of setting this example is hard. I can’t get past it. I get nauseous when I think about getting dressed. I avoid social situations requiring me to wear more than a sweatsuit. I can’t stand my reflection. My husband says he thinks I’m hot, but in my mind, he has to brainwash himself to think that because he is married to me. Stuck with me. That fat frump with nasty frizzy hair, saggy boobs, and a permanently pregnant belly. I have to wear a belly band with sweatpants to even look decent enough to leave the house. I just can’t get past this. It is ruining my life. How can therapy make me like my reflection? It can’t. I feel helpless. Like a prisoner. And I hate I feel like this. I have thought about what would happen if I used scissors to cut my belly off. I should break my finger to punish me for being fat. I know these are crazy thoughts which is why i would never act on them, but that doesn’t stop them from entering my head. I’ve never thought about hurting my children or anything. They are the only thing that brings me happiness. Without them, I’m pointless. I’m not me. I dont know who I am…but I hate the person in the mirror. The preg pix r 2 wks b/f twins were born

Bulimic and Breastfeeding (Linda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Eating Disorder, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 22 Comments

First off I want to say that I am overjoyed that I found this website, it has already helped me to start the healing process.

Secondly, please forgive me as I have a lot to say and this post may be all over the place, hopefully at the end I can tie it all together.

My Story

I have had issues with body image since I was an adolescent. I was the chunky one for some time, but things came to a head in my late teens early twenties. I have been an over-exerciser (worked out for four hours straight once and passed out from dehydration and exhaustion) serial dieter and pill popper and at the age of 21 I FINALLY got to under 130 lbs and was a size two, WOOHOOO!!! That did not last very long because what I had to do to get there was everything but natural and healthy, and eventually the pounds came back on. I am 5 feet two-three inches (depending on the day) and I currently weigh 172 lbs. I began purging in my late teens, I can no longer remember how I got started but I have been battling it ever since. Through much introspection I have labeled the ED my crutch. Sometimes I can go months without it, but I always know that it is in the closet ready for me to pull out whenever I feel I need it and lately I have needed it every day. I have three beautiful girls, a three year old and twin 3 month olds. With my first I went through post partum which I battled on my own and eventually came out of. I don’t think I am dealing with post partum this time around but I am battling that old demon of mine, horrible body image.

I know all the reasons why this disease is not healthy and why I should stop. I know it doesn’t actually help me lose weight but on the contrary can add weight but that hasn’t stopped me. The reason is I don’t think I am ready to give up my crutch. I am EBFing my twins and plan to do so for a while, however I know I am damaging myself with my purging and possibly affecting my milk. I don’t want my girls to ever deal with what I am going through and I want to be healthy for them if not myself. Im not sure if it is the stress that triggered my ED but it has come back with a vengeance. Since I am nursing I am not able to get away much so I eat as my version of downtime, I eat to distract myself, I eat because I am bored, I just eat. And what’s funny (or not) is that I often don’t even enjoy it. I don’t know what to do. But I have been working out and TRYING to eat right and the scale mocks me, I see this stomach with this butt looking pooch in front and it pisses me off and makes me sad. I have no waist to speak off (always had this problem now its ten times worse) and I can’t fit any of my clothes and I…..

I’m sorry, I know I am rambling. I will stop here and hope that what I wrote made some type of since. I have so much more to share but maybe this is not the outlet for it. I just want to love myself as much as I love my children!!!
~Your Age: 31
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 3 children
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months pp

Pic in red dress is me about 11 months pp with my first. Pic of my 3 month old twins. Pic of my three girls.

My Body After Twins (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 24 Comments

Everyone told me when I was pregnant that I would never be able to wear a bikini again because being pregnant with twins destroys your stomach. I want to tell you that that is not always the case. People
also said that if your mom has stretch marks you will too. My Mom has stretch marks, but I didn’t get any. I ate well and a lot during my pregnancy and have not had time to step into a gym since they were born. I was back to my pre-pregnancy shape two weeks after giving birth naturally. I eat whatever and however much I want, nurse and take care of my awesome twin boys. I feel very fortunate and love being a Mom!

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: One pregnancy, twins
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: In the picture I am 6 months
postpartum with fraternal twin boys.

The beauty of my twin shaped body. (Stephanie M)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Twins 7 Comments

This was my first pregnancy and I was 19. I had complication after complication. First I ended up in the hospital at 8 weeks because they thought I was miscarrying, only to find out I had been blessed with not one baby, but two! Now before 19, I was a runner and in shape. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect body if I tried (sorry if that sounds like bragging..), and when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. In my mind I was going to be the size of a house with one baby growing in my belly, so what would two do to me?! But then I just started to grow, normally. I didn’t get too big too fast, or so I thought (looking back at the pictures I really did.. haha). But I was so sick throughout the entire pregnancy that because I would step on the scale and have lost weight, I didn’t really notice. As time went by, at around 20 weeks, I started to notice that my normal clothes didn’t fit anymore, but hey – that was normal. Then by 25 weeks, my maternity clothes didn’t fit anymore. By the time I was 30+ weeks, I wasn’t going outside much because I was so big it was hard to move around, so I just stayed in and wore PJ pants and night gowns all the time. My strangest memory was going out at Christmas time, which was 12 weeks before I had my boys, and buying a shirt that was sized 2X, and two weeks later, I didn’t have a hope or prayer that it would fit me. So, skipping the last few weeks until I was 36 weeks pregnant. It was about 2am and I was in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, I was pretty well not functioning. So off to the hospital we went. After a few hours of testing, I found out that I was severely anemic, and if I didn’t get a blood transfusion right away, I could die during my c-section. (For those of you who don’t know much about anemia, your blood iron levels [hemoglobin] are supposed to be around 140-150, mine was at 68. When you go into a surgery it drops down 20-30 more, and around the 40 mark is where you drop into a coma. Oh yea, super fun hey?) So that was 3 days spent in the hospital, but then I was good, I was ready to go. And I felt great! So two and a half weeks later, on March 16th, 2011 (just 3 days after my 20th birthday), I went in at 6am to be prepped and have my boys. At this point I was still super disappointed I had to do the c-section and didn’t get to do it natural, because I was told I could have gotten back to a workout routine sooner with a natural birth.. but oh well, it had to happen for their safety and hey, I still had breast feeding to help me lose weight! Well, that didn’t work out either.Come to find out that because of my anemia and a few complications with the surgery, I was left unable to breast feed. So there went that idea. But I made it through all of that, and I had two gorgeous little men to show for it. Dominic Gerald Michael Peddle-McLeod born at 8:40am at 6pounds 9ounces, and James Ronald Alexander Peddle-McLeod born at 8:41am at 7pounds 14ounces.

Now, I am 6 1/2 months PP, and still working on getting this body back to normal. Some days are a sad struggle, wishing I was what I used to be, but then I remember what came out of it, and I’m alright again.

picture order.
1 – 12 weeks pregnant.
2 – 18 weeks pregnant.
3 – 26 weeks pregnant.
4 – 37 weeks pregnant.
5 – 38 weeks pregnant.
6 – about 8 hours after birth, my two boys.
7 – my boys now, at 6 months.
8 – me now at 6 months PP.

My Amazing Weird Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 29 Comments

Hi! Your website is so wonderful- thank you for encouraging moms to appreciate and accept the bodies God gave them and their amazing ability to give birth to His precious children! I am the proud mommy to four beautiful boys! I’m posting today becasue I’ve not yet seen anyone on the site that has my same umm, er.. ‘unusual’ shape. I hope my pictures will help those ‘skinny girls with a tiny pooch’ appreciate what they have! And the meatier ones realized they’re not alone. My oldest (now 7) was a vag delivery at 9 lbs. 2 oz.; then came twins (emergency c-section) at 3 lbs. 7 oz. and 5 lbs. 13 oz. and the baby just turned a year in May (another c-section) 7 lbs. 2 oz.! Yes, I am chubby, saggy, have TONS of stretch marks, an ugly apron of fat and my butt is, well..weird and beyond description! LOL! But, my family is so worth it. I just have to do my best everyday to keep telling myself I am an amazing creature! I gave life to FOUR people with this body. And I realized (thanks to this website) that I have nice boobs! They made milk and sustained life for all of my boys- and they still look ok- not too shabby! Ladies- you are all wonderful and beautiful! Be proud of your uniqueness and love yourselves :)

Momma of Twin Girls (Danica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

First off I’d like to state that the first picture posted is of me at 37 weeks & 2 days pregnant… it is also the day right before I gave birth to my twins so it gives you a nice glimpse as to how large my belly was. The second picture is of myself 7 weeks postpartum :) (7-14-2011) I am quite happy with how my belly is recovering and I am very secure with how my belly looks. I was able to deliver the twins vaginally which is what I wanted which also made recovering much smoother. The final picture is, of course, of me and my lovely twin girls!! Before I got pregnant I weighed 117 lbs. During the pregnancy my total weight gain was 53 lbs. I am now down to 132 lbs. I really enjoyed being pregnant and was able to embrace it after the first trimester. The first trimester was rough as I experienced harsh morning sickness and horrible fatigue. Once the second trimester hit, though, everything was great! I am definitely a very proud mother of two healthy beautiful fraternal twin girls!! :D

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy; twins
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks postpartum as of 7-14-2011

My Twin Skin (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 13 Comments

I’m trying to come to terms with my twin skin.

Before I got pregnant I was a little over my prefered weight at about 125 lbs. I gained almost 70 lbs during the pregancy, but most of it was swelling and of course two babies weight a lot too. After my boys were born I lost most of the weight in a couple of weeks, but after that I’ve been stuck at around 140 lbs. I don’t think my weight is so much of an issue, but I wish I could lose a few pounds.

What really bothers me is the way that the pregnancy has treated my body – I had small boobs before, and now after the breastfeeding they are a whole cup size smaller – and one sags and the other one doesn’t! My already big thighs and butt got even bigger (I think that is actually where most of the extra pounds are sitting) and of course my stomach, well it’s just not to describe!

I think I look absolutely terrible. But I feel like I also have to mention: I love my little boys to pieces and I don’t want to remember what it was like without them – and I know I could have gotten a lot more of stretchmarks and a bigger twin skin – but I wish I could have my old body back! Some days (most days) I am okay with it and just try to wear clothing that hides it, but some days (like today) I go on a bummer about it and want to feel sexy again.

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 nearly full term twin pregnancy, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 boys, 12 months old.

Twice Blessed (mommy2twincesses)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 21 Comments

After suffering the heart breaking loss of a miscarriage, my husband and I were beyond elated to find that shortly after we were expecting twins. From that amazing discovery at just 7 weeks, I slathered myself religiously with any and every tummy/stretch mark cream I could get my hands on. By the time I was 30 weeks I still had not been graced with stretch marks but decided that I’d better go ahead and take maternity photos at that time, just in case. It’s a good thing too, because at straight up 31 weeks my tummy looked like a road map. At that point I swear I thought I couldn’t get any bigger if I’d even wanted to without literally popping open, but low and behold I did. By the time I delivered my gorgeous identical twin girls via c-section at 35 weeks I measured an impressive 44 inches. My girls were healthy and at that time that was all that mattered. Within the first weeks after their arrival I didn’t have time to think about my body’s aftermath and honestly thought that with time I would “get my body back”. However, after two years of trying to “get it back” through healthy diet and exercise, I finally admitted to myself that although the weight was gone (and then some) that there was nothing I could do about the “twin skin” and in fact, the more I lost, the more saggy my tummy got. My wonderful husband knew full well that my insecurities was not only damaging my relationship with myself, but it was driving a wedge between us too because I was so ashamed of my body that I simply refused to let him see my naked body. He fully supported my wishes to have my belly surgically corrected and for us, it was the best decision we could’ve made! I still have stretch marks, but finally, I feel like and can see ME again!

The shape of a mother should be one that she is completely proud of and confident in. For me, it took drastic measures, but there is still plenty of evidence of the miracles my body grew and nurtured. At 28 years young, I just couldn’t see spending the rest of my life ashamed of my body and now, I don’t have to! And through sharing this as well as my blog I want to give others hope and let them know that yes, you should love yourself, but if you were injured or disfigured in an accident you wouldn’t think twice about correcting the damage done and in my eyes, pregnancy is no different.

Really Very Bad Timing (Ann)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 19 Comments

1 pregnancy, 2 children
14 months postpartum, twins

My twin boys were perfect timing. Our fertility doctor had just finished telling us we would never conceive naturally. I had just told him that through the grace of God I believed that we would. 3 weeks later some routine tests came back to tell me I was pregnant without the help of drugs or procedures and about 6 weeks later we received the amazing news that there were two little bubs! I was over the moon. My husband seemed a little less excited but I told myself it was that he was overwhelmed, besides that he never was really very good with emotion. As you can imagine I got to be pretty huge. Unfortunately I also became pretty lonely, My husband seemed to withdrawal further and further as my pregnancy progressed. I had an emergency c-section due to pre-eclampsia at 36 weeks and although very small the boys were born beautiful and healthy. I remember the first day they let me get up on my own to go to the bathroom. I stared at the body in the mirror in absolute disgust. I thought I would look like that forever. As hard as I tried I could not breast feed my boys so not only was my body hideous but it also couldn’t nourish my two beautiful boys. I had some postpartum depression but after a few months I began to feel better. The boys were getting bigger and healthier with the use of formula. I would force myself to look in the mirror stark naked almost daily. It was important that I understood that this was my body now and it had done something incredible for me. I had never been thin to begin with but had always loved my curves. After a couple of months I began to love my body, stretch marks, love handles and all. Through all of this my relationship with my husband got better and then worse. I had always adored my husband and although his personality was distant and sometimes very cold I convinced myself he adored me as well. The month before the boys first birthday my husbands raging porn addiction was found out.It had existed before he had known me so you might think I couldn’t possibly blame myself but I do. This wasn’t an occasional peek at porn, if his addiction had been heroin he would be dead in a gutter some where. It had caused him to seriously neglect our kids and myself for a very long time. My husband has overcome his addiction and hasn’t so much as peeked in months with the help of God, myself, some friends and our pastor. This has helped him to become a very caring, loving husband and father. He is now a man I am proud to be married too. The problem is as he moved on to be a better man, he left me standing in my own insecurities. It took a lot of work to get me to a place where I could look myself in the mirror after my babies. Stupid silly me asked my husband every question I could think of about his addiction- desperate to know just how far it went, just how bad it got. Now I am left with the knowledge of all the women he has seen, all the positions he watched and all my friends and family he thought of lustfully. I feel like I will never ever compare. He treats me like royalty now, tells me without all of that junk in his head he sees just how beautiful I am and always was. What I hear is that now that he can’t see the beautiful women in porn he will settle for me. This is destroying me and I know I need help. I have to convince myself to eat most days and have lost quite a bit of weight in the past couple months. What the twins and the stretch marks and the mom skin couldn’t accomplish in killing my self esteem totally- my husbands addiction managed to do. I don’t know how to dig out of this hole, I don’t know how to heal. I do feel hopeful though, especially when I see my husband being so involved with the boys and when I see their gorgeous smiles. Thanks for reading.

Pregnancy and postpartum with twin girls (Shelly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 8 Comments

Age: 35
6 pregnancies that included 5 live births, including full term twins.
Would be 15.5 yrs old (Passed away sadly), 14 year old, 5 year old, and ten month old twin girls.
10 months postpartum
In the pregnancy pic I’m almost 33 wks with twins. (I grew MUCH MORE by 37 wks. when I delivered.)
I am 9 weeks postpartum in the after-preggo pictures. Thanks to my belly binding! I owe it all to that!
Me with my twins at 7 weks old.

All vaginal births. I have no battle scars to share, but I would have worn them with pride, because my children are SO worth anything. I believe a woman should love herself as she is, but I don’t blame those, like myself who rub creams to prevent stretchmarks and use binders to close diastasis and flatten mummy tummies.

The human body is beautiful. ALL shapes, sizes, and colors! I decided to put a nude pic up because I think the pregnant woman’s body is a beautiful thing, but I did cut my head off, lol.