Submissions

Life After Loss (Rea)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

~Age: 18
~Number of pregnancies: 2
~number of births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: my son is 27 months

My name is Rea. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my son. I was sitting at about a size 3-5 and 120 pounds. I wasn’t looking out for my weight when I was pregnant and I regret it so much now. I was about 180+ pounds at 38 weeks when Bentley was born on january 27, 2011. He was 8 pounds. I was so heartbroken to have a c-section. I lost all my weight and then some without doing anything. I felt blessed and lucky but at the same time still hated my stomach, that was covered in stretch marks and had a ‘mom pouch’. I did it all after my boyfriend of 2 years left us shortly after my 17th birthday in 2012. It was hard, and I didn’t have a lot of friends to talk too. But I picked myself up and moved on. My ex got vistation taken away in June 2012 for doing drugs. I knew I was a good mom and did everything for my son. All alone.

I was pretty lonely tho, and in July 2012 I got a new boyfriend. He was a little younger than me. He taught me to not be so serious, and helped me find the right balance between being a mom, and being a teenager. We had a good few months..then I became pregnant again. It was not planned and I didn’t notice how much I was eating until I found out I was pregnant at 8 weeks. I had an iud and was very scared. I was 100 pounds when I got pregnant the second time. I miscarried that baby at 12 weeks, and I sunk into a deep depression for about 5 months. Me and my boyfriend broke up after finding out about the baby.

Me and my first son’s dad got back together 2 months ago. I think we both just needed some time and space away from each other to grow up. He went to treatment and was so hurt to see me with someone else. He was the one who was there for me after I lost my baby. I never shed the 10 pounds of baby weight or the 20 pounds of depression weight. I now weigh 136 and I hate my body more and more. I feel ungrateful because I’m a size 5 still but I cry every time something doesn’t fit. I’m trying really hard to lose weight and fit into my old clothes again.

Hating My Body Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 24 Comments

Previous post here.

So its been almost 2 years and I STILL hate my body. Especially my breasts. I know your body is supposed to change after kids, I get that your tummy gets loose and you breasts droop a little. What I did NOT expect was my breasts to have crater size stretch marks, especially since my body didn’t change one bit after my first child. As a woman its incredibly depressing to have your most womanly feature destroyed. I know it bothers my husband, hes always been a boob guy and mine were perfect even after our first child so I’m sure he didnt expect them to look like they do now. They are so saggy and one nipple points down, the other straight ahead. Does anyone else have a boob issue since having kids? I cant be the only one…

What I want is honesty. No really. I want everyone to tell me if I should consider surgery to try and fix these things or maybe they don’t look as bad as I think they do (fat chance of that, no pun intended).

Update – Mother of 3 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update, Vulva 23 Comments

Previous post here.

Thank u all for your beautiful words of support been working my huge ass off and lost sum weight but the more i lose the small my boobs get and im concerned that with 3 kids coming out of me my vagina doesnt look as it should i cant help but think about it in the bedroom :( let me know what u think love u all

A more intimate picture can be found here.

Unapologetic (Darah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Poetry, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

I love me with the sags.
I love me with the stretch marks.
I love me with dark circles.
I love me with frizzy hair.
I love me with pale skin.
I love me with stretch marks.
I love me with love handles.
I love me with back rolls.
I love me when I’m menstruating.
I love me when I’m lactating.
I love me with body hair.
I love me when my hands are dirty.
I love me with belly fat.
I love that my body can give life.
I love that I can sustain life.
I love me when I eat.
I love me when I’m sick.
I love me for me.

Who I am goes deeper than my skin.

I’m confident.
I’m artistic.
I’m intelligent.
I’m creative.
I’m imaginative.
I’m logical.
I’m kind.
I’m articulate.
I’m ambitious.
I’m empowering.
I’m soulful.
I’m funny.
I’m daring.
I’m charming.
I’m thoughtful.
I’m generous.

And I’m unapologetic for who I am..

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: ten – placed for adoption, three and 5 months.

My body before, during, and after. (Lindsie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 and wore a size 12-14 in jeans. My whole pregnancy was easy no morning sickness, no stretch marks. Nothing. Until the last month then my stretch marks came.I had my little boy all 8lbs 2oz and 22 1/2 in of him naturally. The day after I had him I thought to myself I look great! This getting back to pre pregnancy size will be easy! As the months went on I realized its not that easy. I gained almost 80lbs while I was pregnant. So far I’ve lost about 40lbs of it. I look at myself in the mirror and no I don’t look perfect, no I don’t particularly like my stretchmarks and my baby belly. But then I look at my beautiful little boy and its all worth it. Every mark, every pound, every change in my body, everything. My son is now 6 months old, I wear a size 16 jeans, and no I don’t look perfect but I am an awesome mom and thats all that matters :) The first picture is at 34 weeks pregnant, the second is my little boy and the last few are my body 6 months after giving birth.

Emotional C-Section Scars (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

1 Pregnancy:1 Child

My story begins nearly 5 years ago as my daughter will be 4 in august. I got pregnant when I was only 18. Although my now husband and I were only together about 6 months (together in person only about 1.5 months since he was in bootcamp). Long story short we have made an initial friendship blossom into a great marriage which of course takes work but I feel so fortunate to have beat all the odds that society places on young people and relationships. Fast foward I went into labor on a friday night thinking it was only braxton hicks. After 2 trips to the hospital I was sent home both times since I wasn’t dilated enough to be admitted (they wanted me 2.5 cm before admitted). On sunday morning around 2am we went back where we were finally told I could be admitted. At this point I had endured the pain for nearly 2 days and requested an epidural as well as they started pitocin since I wasn’t dilating that fast. During those wee hours of the morning I was checked on and off. First the baby’s heart rate was high so they broke my water in an effort to bring it down. After a couple hours of rechecking her heart rate began to drop and I had set up fever and they believed I was beginning to set up an infection. Around 7:15am I was told at that point there needed to be decisions made since I was still only about 5-6cm dilated. What choice did I have to help my baby? She was delivered at 7:53am by emergency c-section. My memory those first 2 days in the hospital are fuzzy because of the pain medication I was on which is something I feel very deprived of. Fast forward another 3 and a half years later and numerous talks with my doctor I am still left feeling like a complete failure. Nearly all of my friends had relatively easy labors considering the time frame and only one had a csection although she is not only diabetic but smoked through her pregnancy and had preclampsia. There were no indicators that this would happen to me. I am a very prepared person and was completely blindsided by having a c-section. My scarring on the outside is minimal and my selfesteem is the best since before I got pregnant but I still have feelings left that my body somehow has something wrong with it because it was incapable of doing something that women are designed to do. Now anytime a family member or friend has a baby I get feelings of resentment that I had to have a c-section and nearly no one that I know hasn’t. I wouldn’t wish a csection on anyone that’s not at all what I wish at all I just don’t know how to come to terms with these negative feelings……I am also left terrified of having another child as I absolutely do not want another c-section again.

Below is a picture of me 37 weeks pregnant and summer 2012 after losing nearly all my baby weight (finally! :D).

A Happy Ending! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

Age:24
Pregnancies: 1
Births:1
1 year postpartum

My little girl just turned one a week ago. She is so beautiful, funny and smart. I can’t believe she is mine!

When I first got pregnant I had come to terms with the fact that my body would be ruined, based on family history. I would have a saggy belly, stretch marks, deflated breasts but I knew it would all be worth it.

During my pregnancy, my daughters father and I decided it wasn’t going to work out. That is when my fears returned. I gained 60 pounds while pregnant. I thought nobody would ever be attracted to me again. I was completely devastated about the whole situation. Once I had my little girl I really had no time to feel sorry for myself. She was extremely colic for the first 6 months and would only sleep cradled next to me while walking. So I walked and walked and walked….

A year later, my stretch marks have faded, I weigh 20 pounds less than before I got pregnant, I got my license, bought a van, I’ve met someone new and starting my dream job in 1 week. It’s amazing how things can change in a year. I’m so proud of myself and thank my lucky stars everyday.

A Child Having a Child (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

A child having a child

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies:1
Age of child:4

When I was a little girl,I used to love playing with my baby dolls. I would plan out my life by playing house everyday with my dolls. Perfect house,perfect job, and a perfect family. All I wanted was a perfect life like I would see on t.v. While I grew into my early teens I met the love of my life. Every min I spent with him I knew he was that one that I wanted to spend the perfect life I had always dreamt of. I used to lay in bed and just think how bad I wanted to start my family right away. As silly as it sounds I would think on how to ask my mom if I could of a baby. I always wanted to tell her it would be the only Christmas and birthday present I wanted.

At the age of 15 I found out that I failed the 9th grade for the second time. Not because I wasn’t smart but because I would skip to much school. I was in the process of dropping out.. Until I learned I was pregnant.

I got pregnant at age 16. I was scared. I didn’t know anything about having a baby. I was just a baby myself. I took that right path and stayed in school for my daughter. Since I achieved a lot in school I was allowed to graduate 1 year earlier then when I was suppose to. I continued my education in becoming a medical assistant. It was a rocky road to get where I am today but I made it. I now have the perfect job that I wanted. I married my high school sweetheart and now have our perfect family. There’s just one thing that I’m missing… My self confidence.

I had to grow up fast and make sacrifices for my new family. I couldn’t go out to the pools with my friends like I used to or go shopping because of the weight I gained. I cry every time I think about how skinny I used to be. Even tho my husband tells me how he loves for who I am and how I look but I don’t feel like myself hiding in this fat suit. Everyday I would love to just pull my zipper down and take off my suit but I can’t. I now live in this body forever.

I try to diet, I try to work out, and I try to make healthier choices but I give up to fast. i just sit back and say to myself” yeah right who are trying to fool you cant do this just give up already.”The girl in the mirror stands and laughs at me and tell me there is no hope. I wanna beat this girl and tell her shes wrong but it’s too late she already won.

Update to my Post (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Previous post here.

The last time I updated my story I was single and 13 months postpartum with my 3rd child, I had also just started to accept my body. Well a year and a half later things have changed drastically; about three months after my update was posted I reconciled with my childrens father and about two months later I ended up pregnant with our 4th child. Throughout my whole pregnancy I was miserable and feared the weight gain, I just wanted to gain the minimal weight possible and be able to lose the weight quickly after the baby came. Of course every pregnancy is different but I so badly wanted this pregnancy to be like my last one where I had only gained 13lbs but I ended up gaining double that (Yes a healthy 26lbs). During my pregnancy however my weight did yo-yo from month to month, at my first appointment at 9wks I was weighing 175, the next month it was up to 177, and the next it was back down to 175, I didn’t start gaining consistantly a pound a month until I was into my 5th month of pregnancy and I gained the most in my last two months. My 4th and last daughter was born on March 7th, 2013 weighing 7lbs 4oz and 20in long by repeat c-section; at our first check up 5 days later my weight was already back down to 183, so I had about 6-8lbs to lose to be at the weight I was at my first appointment and about 18lbs to go if I was to be at the weight I was just a few months before getting pregnant. at just 2wks post-partum I was fitting back in to a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothes but I still have a long way to go before I’m as comfortable with my body as I was getting to be before, and once I’m in the clear to do so I plan on doing regular exercise and working my butt off to get down to where I want to be. The first few days of being post-partum I was a little disappointed in the way I looked but I know it takes time and with hard work and determination I can change my body as I had started to before this pregnancy.

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 5 pregnancies/ 4 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 1/2 yrs, 5yrs, 2 1/2yrs, 18days old; 18days postpartum
The pictures below are: 1st: Me about 3months before getting pregnant(what I would like to get down to in the next couple of months), 2nd: Me and my kids father the month I got pregnant, 3rd: My last pregnancy picture at 39wks 4days, 4th and 5th pictures: Me at 18days postpartum, and the 6th: My c-section scar:

My Story (Katyy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

It was January 2012 and I was ready, this was my year. New boyfriend who i absolutely adored, 18 this year! finally finishing year 12,the ball, leavers and a holiday to Bali, what more could go wrong…?

I was defiantly in love with Scott the first time we meet he managed to crash a car with me in it and we some how survived it rolled into a tree and yet I still stand here today so we both knew for a fact we were meant to be, surviving something like that!

Before I met Scott I had a few boyfriends but nothing serious, he was the one I would choose to give my virginity. Time went on and we grew so ever close and before you knew it we were as close as you could be. On January the 15th I received a somewhat horrifying facebook message that one of my best friends had committed suicide, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel or how I would cope without the girl who had kept me strong through all my problems. Yet did I know I hadn’t been through anything yet.
One night Scott took me to the most loveliest restaurant In perth it is rotating and you sit and eat a meal.I started to feel very queezy during my dinner, I hadn’t got my period yet I was little worried as I was a couple of days late and was always on time so decided to take one tomorrow morning. A pregnancy test.

I locked my self in the bathroom, and waited one line and then it seemed a second one was showing… I smacked myself in the head a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming…

“Scott” I screamed in a horrified voice and he knew straight away I ran out the door and down to the park he came running after me ” where’s a tree i can’t do this I need to be with Kim” he calmed me down and drove me to the beach. After talking and thinking we decided this was it, we made this mess and now we have to clean it up and do what is right. Once our parents knew they were furious, Scott mum having her first and 19 was devastated because she never ever wanted her kids to go through what she had too, my mum was just speechless.

I decided I would do this the hardest way possible because I deserved to be punished for what an idiot I had been.
I was going to walk around school until I was 8.5 months pregnant and graduate.

Everyday was a struggle I tell you that, having over 1000 kids staring at you all day and having no friends, it was hard all my friends didn’t want to know me and if they did it was to get gossip out of me. I was alone. But it was my fault because I pushed everyone away. I had a terrible pregnancy I gained over 30kg and vomited all day everyday. But school was good for me it made the pregnancy go fast and I was glad I accomplished it. At 38 weeks they wanted to induce me because they said baby was too big, I ended up leaving the next morning because bubs just wasn’t budging and I had been pushed too far she was even near my cervix!
But after being a week late a c section would be the answer,

At 8.49am on the 30th of October 2012 my precious bubby lily Kate Cornell entered the world a whopping 9.11p!! She was gorgeous, she was perfect and it had all been worth it.

About a month later it was time to graduate,
I walked up the stage with lily in my arms, grabbed my certificate and the applause and cheering nearly broke my heart, there were so many people out there who were proud of me, it felt amazing. I had done my job. It was time to be a mum.
The past year of my life is been nothing what I thought it would be, I am a changed person and i believe I am a fabulous mum because I will do anything and everything for lily I will give her my last cent.

I believe in taking what life throws at you and making the absolute best of it because if you can’t enjoy life what is the point,
Today I wake up to a gorgeous daughter and my wonderful boyfriend,

Honestly I can’t believe it, but hey what’s the fun in a predictable life???
K xoxo