Life After Loss (Rea)

~Age: 18
~Number of pregnancies: 2
~number of births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: my son is 27 months

My name is Rea. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my son. I was sitting at about a size 3-5 and 120 pounds. I wasn’t looking out for my weight when I was pregnant and I regret it so much now. I was about 180+ pounds at 38 weeks when Bentley was born on january 27, 2011. He was 8 pounds. I was so heartbroken to have a c-section. I lost all my weight and then some without doing anything. I felt blessed and lucky but at the same time still hated my stomach, that was covered in stretch marks and had a ‘mom pouch’. I did it all after my boyfriend of 2 years left us shortly after my 17th birthday in 2012. It was hard, and I didn’t have a lot of friends to talk too. But I picked myself up and moved on. My ex got vistation taken away in June 2012 for doing drugs. I knew I was a good mom and did everything for my son. All alone.

I was pretty lonely tho, and in July 2012 I got a new boyfriend. He was a little younger than me. He taught me to not be so serious, and helped me find the right balance between being a mom, and being a teenager. We had a good few months..then I became pregnant again. It was not planned and I didn’t notice how much I was eating until I found out I was pregnant at 8 weeks. I had an iud and was very scared. I was 100 pounds when I got pregnant the second time. I miscarried that baby at 12 weeks, and I sunk into a deep depression for about 5 months. Me and my boyfriend broke up after finding out about the baby.

Me and my first son’s dad got back together 2 months ago. I think we both just needed some time and space away from each other to grow up. He went to treatment and was so hurt to see me with someone else. He was the one who was there for me after I lost my baby. I never shed the 10 pounds of baby weight or the 20 pounds of depression weight. I now weigh 136 and I hate my body more and more. I feel ungrateful because I’m a size 5 still but I cry every time something doesn’t fit. I’m trying really hard to lose weight and fit into my old clothes again.

4 thoughts on “Life After Loss (Rea)

  • Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 12:04 am

    I don’t think that you should be ashamed you look at lot better than what i did after having my son I am 21 pregnant with my 3rd. I had my first baby when I was 14 years old and I never watched my weight with what I was eating I weighed 115 when I got pregnant and when I had him I was 168 had a c section as well being that young and having stretch marks happening everywhere and still going through puberty took a pretty bad hit so I understand the frustration on that part. Before getting pregnant with my second I weighed 125 and was in a size 5 then I gained 15 lbs and gained 40 lbs with second pregnancy and have not lost the weight but the baby weight and 7 extra lbs I’m 155 now so I feel like crap. I’m sorry to hear about your loss but it is good that you and the father of your child are working things out the best thing to do is be a good example for your child that you do have and love each other as much as possible even tho I’m having problems with my body being pregnant and can’t do anything till after I have this baby in 6 months. I want you to appreciate yourself and work on yourself everything takes time your young and got a baby to look over its hard being young and taking care of a child but at the end of the day it is worth it your body will go back to shape as long as you work towards it. I only wish I was in a size 5 again I’m in 12-14 now so be happy and love your self and body you will get to where you want to be soon there is nothing wrong with you

  • Friday, May 10, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    You have had a difficult time and done so well as a mother. Your stomach is gorgeous though there is nothing wrong with how it looks. I know that’s easy for another person to say when it’s not them. But I don’t know you I have no reason to lie. You should be proud of your body. It looks better than a lot of people’s do even before pregnancy :p
    To be perfectly honest if I didn’t know otherwise just looking at you I wouldn’t have guessed you had even been pregnant.
    But you are soooo young, your body is still able to spring back into its previous shape if that’s what you really want. But don’t stress yourself over it, it isn’t worth being upset about, with healthy eating and looking after yourself it will happen on its own :)
    You really are beautiful and your stomach is perfect. :-)
    I hope life is kind to you from now on and I’m sorry for your losses and hardships in the past <3

  • Saturday, August 24, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Hey hon. Part of your distress is your age. My twenties were fun, but looking back on them from my 30’s, they were strewn with insecurity and uncertainty with who I was and where I fit in with the world. Having a baby makes this natural stage so much harder!

    You will learn to trust yourself and your beautiful body, which knew exactly what to do to make your beautiful baby. You have a new aspect of yourself to explore. Be fun and flirty, or hardcore and cool, or pretty and sweet, but don’t assume that you will be what you were before your son. You changed the day he was born. So did your body.

    Be healthy. Be happy. It’s okay to have bad days and not feel gorgeous. Don’t listen to yourself on those days. I always dress up extra nice on those days. People will notice and they will comment, and you’ll get a little view of you through other people’s eyes. You have a challenging road to walk, but you’ve proven that you’re more than equal to it. Keep going, brave mama!

  • Monday, June 23, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Don’t ever let anyone tell you different but you are a beautiful woman.

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