Submissions

Through Fresh Eyes (Danielle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 1 Comment

Age: 31
2 pregnancies, 1 birth

I am incredibly grateful to be the mother of a wonderful three year old son. Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs I have ever had and it takes toll on your physical body and your mind. My body is full of scars and loose skin and if you had asked me over a year ago to eradicate every inch of it I would have told you yes – in a heart beat!

Something changed a year ago, actually my whole life changed, I experience a miscarriage. It changed my whole world and the way I look at it. I became quite sad, friends disappeared, I made people feel terribly uncomfortable – no one knew what to say to me. After some time, I wanted to talk about it, but had little in terms of an audience. I started to blog regularly and turned to online groups and support. Over time I learned there was something to learn from this.

The miscarriage was incredibly difficult but it was a gift, a grand lesson to me in just learning to trust, believe and relax into life. It was a gift because it gave me new eyes. I could see that I just wanted to skip over the difficult parts of my life; I wanted to rush through pregnancy, rush through my sons temper tantrums, and rush through those people who seemed to hurt. Those things that I was trying to rush through were sometimes difficult but they helped define and help me to appreciate the good things. I used to think it was all about balance, you needed the good with the bad but now I think it’s about how you look at it. Just because something good happens to you doesn’t mean something bad needs to happen to you, those bad experiences help you realize just how awesome those good things in your life are; when you realize that you just see the good, its like a voice shouting out to you. You want the good things in life to shout to you, so the bad things don’t seem so loud.

Through my loss I learned that it wasn’t the right time for me, and my darling little one waits for a ship to sail on into this world full of love and support when the time is right. This is what I believe; it’s what I have come to know as true. It doesn’t mean I did anything to bring on a miscarriage or it was my fault, it just means it wasn’t the right time and I do believe there will be a right time.
This is just my experience, it just applies just to me, and your story is unique, just for you. If my story can help you feel happy or provide some calm in your storm that makes me happy because I was once in the midst of a terrible storm and I found comfort in those who could speak about the raging waves. I think it’s incredibly important for all of us to continue to share our stories and experiences. Don’t forget or pretend everything is perfect, because it isn’t – no one is, and that’s what makes us beautiful women. This human experience is imperfect, that’s the point, and we should celebrate our imperfections because they are beautiful. So tell your story, don’t forget it or hide it, it is beautiful celebration of life.

4 Months After 5 Kids (Momma of 5)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

I am soon to be 26 yrs old. I have had five pregnancies and five happy babies born in the last six years. I would never have changed having my kids so close together but having a baby every year didn’t give me a chance to lose much weight and tone up again between each pregnancy. Before kids I’ve always had a tight thin body with large perky boobs and was always proud of my body. I do have hope that I can tighten my tummy more than it is now but I’m still amazed looking back that I had 5 kids back to back and by body did its job growing and protecting each one, so I am so proud of my body. I was 138 lbs before my fifth pregnancy and I went up to 194 lbs at the end of the pregnancy. Now I am 149 lbs at four months post partum. Breastfeeding helps mentally that My body is still useful even if it doesn’t look the same.

Thanks for reading

122313-mommaof5-1

My Body Struggle (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I met my now husband in 6th grade, and we’ve been “on and off” since. We have been together with no break ups for 5 years now, married for two of those years. I know my husband loves me and is attracted to me but I NEVER feel good enough. He had cheated on me once while we were still in high school and I feel it still haunts me. I always feel like something was my fault. Now that we have our beautiful daughter, my husband and I are closer than ever, but I still feel so insecure. I have stretch marks and slightly loose skin and I am in no way a skinny girl. I have cried several times over this, and think that I may have some sort of postpartum depression that only deals with my own body image. I just want to share my pictures in case young women like myself feel like they are the only mom their age who have changed bodies after pregnancy. I know that is how I’ve felt since I know tons of moms my age that look exactly the same if not better than before. I want to be able to feel sexy again someday, but I’m not sure if that’s going to happen. Everyday I struggle with my body image, and I wish I didn’t. I know I don’t have the WORST body, but this is no where near MY best body.

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

3 months pp from cesarean, do I have diastatis recti? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

~Age: 36
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

I had elective cesarean section 3 months ago because my baby boy was breech. The cesarean wasn’t a great experience as I lost a lot of blood (2 litres) and was put on iron tablets that me horrendous constipation and tummy ache. I also suffered for weeks with trapped wind and gas. Infact I’m still more gassy now than I ever used to be.

My baby boy was a gorgeous healthy 7lbs15oz.

Before pregnancy I had a very flat stomach and good BMI. I wasn’t really toned but I walked my dog for an hour a day and felt healthy (I have included a photo of my tummy when I was 5 weeks pregnant). During pregnancy I put on about 3 stone (40lbs) but luckily didn’t get any stretch marks. Post partum my stomach started going down very quickly initially and I don’t have a ceseran overhang around the scar. But what has upset me is I still look pregnant – people are asking if I am expecting again as I have a round bump all at the front. It feels firm-ish and doesn’t sag (see photos).

I do still have a stone to lose to be back at pre pregnancy weight but that’s more around hips/bum. My belly feels like it has a small layer of fat covering it, but is firm and comes out. Is this diastatis recti? Or normal after a caesarean and do I just have to be patient and it will take a year to go down?
rom my iPhone

5 weeks pregnant

Pregnant Again at 5 Months Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Question, Submissions 21 Comments

Age 25, 2 pregnancies, 1 birth. Baby is 5 months old.

Hey mommas! I am new mom to a healthy, happy,and beautiful 5 month old baby girl. My pregnancy, delivery, and recovery were all very easy. In fact, my fiance and I did the deed 2 1/2 weeks after delivery and everything was great. I was exclusively breast feeding until about 3 1/2 months, then started weaning. I had issues with supply since day one. Anyway, my fiance have been talking about the future and we both agreed that we want the kids to be close in age. Our plan was to get pregnant again in March. Well, we weren’t being to careful about sex and now I am about 4 weeks pregnant. We are super happy and excited! But I’m scared about the risks of getting pregnant too soon. I’ve heard about increased risk of autism and low birth weight. I’m scared the baby won’t get enough nutrients because my body is still recovering and the baby’s organs won’t properly form. I’m just scared for the baby’s health. I need to words of encouragement and reassurance from other mommies that have had back to back pregnancies. Has anybody been in a situation like this and want to share their experience? I would really appreciate it! :)

I Want to Be Me Again (Desiree)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

my name is desiree im 22 a mother of one amazing boy who is 14 months before baby I was 125 pounds which is curvy for my height a tiny 5 ft tall at full term I was 172 a year later im still bouncing between 140 and 145. my husband is the kindest most understanding person he “loves” my new mommy curves and I was “too skinny before ” but I feel disgusting I wear 2 girdles sometimes just to hide my bloated belly which is partially due to ulcerative colitis that was triggered by pregnancy I wish I could fix it but no amount of working out did anything to help and surgery is too drastic and expensive im thankful for my awesome son and and amazing hubby but I want to feel sexy again I loved my body before I just want to go back to that. my close friend has 4 kids and is a size 2 with barely a mark on her so I kinda expected the same with myself this site showed me everyone is different and im not alone in the struggle to be comfortable in my own skin again after baby thank you for that ?

My Stomach Looks Distorted (Rebecca)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 12 Comments

Age-21
Pregnancies/births-3/1
Postpartum-3 years

Hey there ladies! First off I’d like to say that I love this site and what its all about!! So, here’s my story. I gave birth to my first child,stillborn, at the age of 14. I was very petite, had a flat stomach,small boobs, and a bubble butt. I delivered Benny @ 7.5 months…..my stomach bounced back right away, but because I did go through a natural labor, my breast still filled with milk
and went from a 34 A to a DD which left me with very stretched out, saggy, dark nipple breasts. I later became pregnant with my second son Jody, at the age of 16 and birthed him @ 17….weighing in @ 8.5 oz. Throughout my whole pregnancy with him, I was smooth sailing….eating whatever I wanted when I wanted….thinking “oh, well since im still young and I already know that my body will bounce back- I don’t HAVE TO take precaution because I’ve been through this already.” BOY WAS I WRONG!!!! my pre-pregnancy weight was 112(I was actually struggling to gain weight,as I wanted to be “thick” like the other girls..which I some what did!!! I had finally fit into a size 3.yayyy!!!) flat stomach, ruined breast…with the same bubble butt. So I started @ 112….finished off the pregnancy @ 160(roughly) this left my stomach in a horrific sight!!!! After I delivered….. My stomach wasn’t huge anymore so I automatically felt “sexy” again. A few weeks later when the whole parenting thing was set….I started focusing on my body! I was so depressed..I cried and cried for days straight, having pity parties and constantly reminding myself that I WILL NEVER look as good as ANY OTHER FEMALE WHO EXISTED ON PLANET EARTH. 3 years later….I still have a hard time looking in the mirror and believing the compliments people give me, especially my BD (we’ve gone through the whole ” why the fuck do u have to look @ porn when I’m right here motherfucker!!! WHAT? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!) Its better….but we still can’t watch rated R movies that show the perfect bitches. I still have a lot of learning to do to be confident with who I am, how I’ve changed, and accepting the wrinkling skin that I’m in. I find myself seriously considering surgery.

My stats before/after: 112/140; size3/size9 ;34A/34B (stretch marks, saggy, forever cursed with large dark nipples) ; firm body& confidence/ very loose jiggly body with very low confidence. I can’t help but to compare myself to EVERY WOMAN, especially the ones close to my age (21) and feel nothing but envy. They can wear bikinis and crop tops and look great…me on the other hand…. … *tears* will never know how that feels. I pretty much feel like a fat girl trapped in a skinny girls body. I can’t wear what I’m attracted to because its meant for girls who have nice bodies. I hope to one day, get off my ass, get back into sports…..exercise and quit throwing pity parties in fitting rooms. Any words of advice??

Talk me out of plastic surgery. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 24 Comments

Age- 25
Number of Children-1, aged 3

I have a son that I love more than life itself. I always had body issues, despite being petite. I fluctuated between 100-110 lbs all through out high school. I was very self conscious of my boobs. The right one was (and still is) smaller than the left side. My nipples looked “puffy” unless I was cold. But they were a 34C and looked good in cute tops and had mass, if you know what I mean.

I was hopeful when I got pregnant that maybe both boobs would finally look the same and that maybe my nipples would be more erect. I guess I was hoping that having a baby would “fix” them. After breast feeding for six months, I quickly learned that having a baby wasn’t going to make them look any better. They shrunk and shrunk and shrunk, and what I was left with was the skin of 34D breasts without the volume. They sag big time now. My nipples are back to being sort of puffy when I’m warm, only getting erect when I’m cold.

I have the option to get breast augmentation. It’s something my husband and I have talked about a lot. He doesn’t care whether I do it or not. He’s concerned that it won’t actually solve the issue.
I don’t even know why it bothers me so much. I am thankful that I was able to nurse for six months. The boobs served their purpose and nourished my child. But I feel self conscious when my husband touches them. I know he still enjoys touching them but to me, they’ve lost their sensual qualities and I’d rather he touch me somewhere else, anywhere else, but not my boobs.

I can’t decide what to do. We aren’t going to have more children, so it’s not like I have to worry about future breastfeeding being affected. I’m trying to ignore society’s idea of what breasts should look like and really look into my heart over this decision.

It’s been really hard on me, and I’ve struggled with it for a while. I want to look more like the 17 year old me, because she really had it good. She was fun and carefree with hardly any responsibilities. Now I look at myself naked and I match how I feel. Tired, stressed, aging. There’s never enough time to do what I wish I could do for myself and it’s depressing.

If I got the surgery, it would be modest. I would like to a 34C again and just have mass and volume in my breasts again. I’m not interested in having boobs that don’t even move because they’re so overdone. I know I should be looking at the bigger picture, how it’s not going to matter in the slightest when I’m 80… but could I have more confidence now? How great would it be if I could pull off my shirt in front of my husband and let him touch them, and enjoy it, instead of sneaking around trying to cover up when I’m changing or getting out of the shower?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I am really on the fence about it right now. Thank you for reading my story!

First pic is me warm and hunched over.
Second pic is me cold and standing up.