Submissions

I Finally Love Myself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

I got pregnant the summer before my senior year of high school. I walked the halls with a huge belly got stares from students and teachers. When I went to the outside world people poked and prodded. Why complete strangers think they have the right to know how old I am I have no idea.
I married my sons father… but once the ring went on my finger… I was his property. I suffered in an abusive marriage for 2 years before I gained enough self esteem to get out. He would tell me that I was fat and no one else would love me and that I could never survive without him. Also, that if I did leave him… he would make my life hell. Which he has done a great job at!
I’ve picked up the pieces I’m a junior in college. I am losing weight and trying so hard to find myself.

I loved being pregnant… the hormones made me feel happy for once in my life. If I didn’t have to deal with rude people all day I would have enjoyed it even more. I gained 40 pounds… lost 30 then gained 10 back… so I still have 20 pounds to go.

I can’t wait to find the right guy who will accept my stretch marks and mommy boobies and my son! I want to have more children… but I am waiting until I’m finished with college!

Age:20
Number of pregnancies and births: one
Postpartum: 27 months

Self Love is the Most Important Love of All (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I just came across this website and I think it is the most beautiful, helpful website that a mother could possibly visit. It is hard these days to be happy with our bodies. The media hype and hollywood has portrayed a very distorted image of what motherhood does to ones body. It has taken me several years to finally just be happy to be me. I had several boughts of pinching the fat on my stomach and crying while studying my stretch-marks. I must say the my breasts are still something that I am self concious about and I would change if I had a magic wand- although, breastfeeding has helped me find the beauty in my lopsided lady lumps…. It saddens me to know that all over the world are mothers who hate their bodies and look at them with disgust. We are magical, we are beautiful, we are all one of a kind. Love yourself!

Age: 27
Pregnancies: 4 Pregnancies, 3 Births
Children ages: 8 years,3 years,6 months
All pictures are 6 month pp after last pregnancy.

17 Weeks Later (Soph)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions 7 Comments

My name is Soph and 17 weeks ago, just before I turned 24, I delivered my first child – a lovely little boy.
I lost my first baby and had to wait several years to try to concieve my son. Such a wanted, beautiful pregnancy.

I weighed just over 90kg when I got pregnant, stayed at that weight until the third trimester and then suddenly put on 12kg. I had terrible morning sickness, that was then replaced by terrible anaemia.

I loved my bump. I felt powerful. I felt…beautiful. I felt like a woman.

My baby was born all of a sudden, there was no time to assimilate what was happening. He weighed over 4kg and I had a large placenta (that was commented on by the midwives!) and I seemed to have a huge amount of water.

Immediately post-birth, I felt fantastically slim, slimmer than I had been for years. And I haven’t really put any weight back on since then.
Then the baby blues kicked in and unfortunately haven’t really gone.

I am now thinner than I have been since I was 18.
And yet when I look in the mirror, this is what I see.
Someone told me to regard them as battlescars.
But I feel like a tiger. Not pretty. Not pretty at all. Embarassed. Saggy. Enormous. Ugly, Unsexy. Unworthy.
I still have to buy size 18 (UK) shirts because of my boobs…and don’t even get me started on my boobs. That is for another day.

080409-soph-1

Unplanned, But Not a Mistake (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

I was 15 years old, the “boy” I thought I was in Love with, had just broke up with me. I decided to get back at him by sleeping with one of his friends. It was just suppose to be a one time thing just to make my ex, the guy i thought was the love of my life, mad. Well a month later, no period. I took a pregnancy test and it said positive. I was just in complete shock. The guy that was just suppose to be a one time thing, just became the father of my child. At first I kept saying I was going to get an abortion, b/c the father was black and I am white. I didn’t want to deal with all the looks and shame people were going to give me, and because the changes that my body would go through. Then I thought I don’t even believe in abortions, and who cares if i get big? After about a month into the pregnancy, I went in to have my first ultrasound. As soon as I saw MY baby on that screen, I FELL IN LOVE!! I decided I was going to keep the baby. I knew having a baby at 15 was going to be extremely diffucult. But I was willing to accept the consequences. On January 2, 2008 I gave birth to a perfect 6 pounds 4 ounces baby girl! She’s 18 months old now and i’m 17, people do stare at me sometimes, and I get rude remarks, but it doesn’t bother me. All that matters is what I think. My friends ditched me b/c I couldn’t just drop what I was doing anymore to hang out with them. A irresponsible act gave me the greatest gift ever. I wouldn’t trade my baby girl for anything in this world! I truelly have found the love of my life.
I love my body, and call my stretch marks, Beauty marks. I look at my body in the mirror from time to time and think, I brought a beautiful baby into this world, and I would go through all the changes again, in a heartbeat.

1st pic-18 months post partum
2nd pic-me and my baby girl

Struggling for Acceptance (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 22 Comments

I’m 24 years old and I’m a mother to a 2 1/2 year old daughter and a 10 month old son. I got pregnant when I was 21 though it really wasn’t in my plans at that time. I was not married when I found out, but my BF and I did what we thought was right and married when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I started out my pregnancy at 130 lbs. It was the most I had weighed yet in my life. I always thought I was heavier than I should be for 5’3 and since I was 12 years old I have been dieting. Never able to succeed at weight loss I found myself turning to drastic measures. I toyed with bulimia, anorexia and stimulant drugs to try and lose weight. The lowest I ever was able to get was 114. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was terrified of gaining a lot of weight. I have two older sisters that became obese after pregnancy and both have turned to Gastric Bypass now. I was terrified and I found the website www.babyfit.com. This website taught me so much about healthy and natural weight loss and weight management during pregnancy. I started to exercise faithfully for the first time in my life and watched what I ate. I exercised up until the day I gave birth and only gained 17 lbs. 2 weeks PP I was 7 lbs lighter than I had began pregnancy and by 6 months PP I weighed in at 98 lbs. I did nothing except eat healthy and breastfeed. I was on cloud nine with what I was able to achieve with my body, yet I still didn’t feel good about myself. When I got pregnant with my son my body was starving. I felt like my hunger was uncontrollable and I went on a 3 month binge at the beginning of my pregnancy. I gained 12 lbs in the first 3 months. Very depressed and struggling terribly with the weight gain there were times that I wished for a miscarriage. My bulimia came back 10 fold and I’m lucky to have birthed a healthy baby boy. Though I am back down to 104 lbs, I’m still miserable inside my body. My quest for self-confidence seems never ending and I know it’s because happiness comes from within. I don’t think it will ever matter what the scale says unless I can find a happiness within I will never be content. I’m grateful for this website. It helps me to appreciate what I have.

First Picture: 14 weeks pregnant with first child
Second Picture: 4 Weeks Pregnant with 2nd child
Third Picture: 36 weeks pregnant with 2nd child
Fourth Picture: 10.5 month PP with 2nd child

Not Giving Up and Acceptance (Alex)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, Hispanic, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Name: Alex
Age: 30
Pregnancies: 2 Births: 2
DD1: 3 yrs old
DD2: 1 yr old

I’m so glad I found this website. I have been looking for a site like this for a little while now because I want to know more about other real women out there and their experiences (not celebrities-they don’t count and real) and to talk about my own experience. I want to know what other real women experience. Most of the time I feel like “I’m the only one” and I know I am not.

I had my first daughter at age 27. My husband and I planned the pregnancy. Overall I really wanted to have a baby mostly because I just love my husband so much and I want not just have any baby but HIS baby. I feel so proud and blessed to have him in my life. We were so excited when we had her. I remember it was 8 am when we started heading to the hospital to have her. We just keep looking at each other with excitement like “it’s finally happening” lol. Prior to being pregnant I felt beautiful and sexy. I didn’t have a perfect body by any means but I sure felt good about myself. I wore beautiful clothes, sexy lingerie and I just felt GOOD, you know? That all changed the day I had my daughter. It was amazing how I went from feeling like one of the most beautiful women to feeling like I couldn’t even bare to look at myself in the mirror, that bad! I also feel like I have aged 10-12 years in a matter of 3 years. How can this be so? I feel old. I feel all my youth and beauty has left me. I hate taking pictures and I’m embarrassed when I see people that I haven’t seen in a long time because I figure they must be thinking “wow, she’s so fat now”. Pre-baby I weighed around 125 lbs on average and I’m 5’4 so not bad. I’m hispanic so it comes with the territory of being a little thicker and that’s ok. I want to look like I did just 3 years ago. Even when I was 5 months pregnant in my 1st pregnancy I looked like a baby. I look at the pictures and it’s amazing. I was 27 at the time and looked more like I was 18. Now I’m 30 and I feel like I look 40. During the 1st pregnancy I gained 41 lbs. At my highest I was 171 lbs. When I left the hospital I had only lost 1 lbs! Huh? 1 lbs after having a baby how is this even possible? It took about 6-7 months before I started loosing some weight. In total I lost about 25 lbs of the 41 that I gained but I was starting to look alright. I thought ok this is going well, next thing you know I was pregnant again with DD2.

So needless to say DD2 was not planned. I was so disappointed because I thought, great, now I’m going to gain more weight on top of what I already have! So with DD2 I reached 181 lbs. She will be 1 yr old next month and today I weigh 163 lbs. It’s a constant Struggle. Most of all I hate the feeling of not being happy with myself because overall I think it affects my daughters and one day I will regret not taking pictures with them because I feel fat and ugly. They deserve better but how do I get over this feeling? Everyday I try my best to eat healthier, low calorie, low fat in an attempt to get back to the old me and I wonder at what point will I finally be satisfied and be happy with myself?

Recently I ran into a former co-worker who has a 7 month old son. She is a thick woman, by no means fat or overweight but a little thicker and rounder I’d say. So when I saw her, I thought wow! Now how come she looks like she is back to her regular weight? She looked great and here I am with a belly still popping out a year later. Not only that but my lower abs are a little saggy, stretch marks on my waist etc…I work in the Fashion Industry and I would say most women in this industry don’t have kids and the ones that do come back to work looking like they’d never been pregnant to begin with, makes me look like there’s something wrong with me. And I get these thoughts that maybe my husband is embarrassed too when we go out. He’s the type that loves me to dress up, get my hair done, nails, the whole bit. But when nothing fits what’s the point. I still need to have that husband that is attracted to me. Feels like I’m letting him down. Don’t get me wrong he’s a sweet heart but maybe I’m not meeting his expectations.

So I’m gonna brave this out and post some pictures because after all this site is about sharing and I want to be one more ‘real woman’.

Time Machines Don’t Exist, Unfortunately (Mir)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

I posted a belly photo of myself in February along with my thoughts and totally forgot to go look at it again until last night.

I want to post another couple of photos now, six months on showing my belly again. What has changed in six months? The most dramatic/helpful change is that I went back to work–which improved my level of sanity and just made me feel better about myself overall. Now, my son gets more quality time with me even if it’s not quantity. Before he was spending so much time with me but neither of us were happy with that. The set-up is much better now.

I’m not really sure how much weight I’ve lost–probably about 15-20 pounds (I’m about 175 pounds now)–haven’t exercised at all–just walk everywhere I go. I still need to lose another 30-40 pounds to be down to a good/pre-pregnancy weight. Even if I don’t lose that amount of weight, I’ve dropped about 4-5 pants sizes so that’s nothing to complain about. My boobs are still saggy but I’ve gone from a D-cup down to a C-ish cup which is nice–maybe someday I’ll see a B cup again but by then my boobs will be even more raisin-like probably. My belly is still stretched out beyond compare (nothing to do with fat–just the lose skin that’s hangin’ around there).

Um…I’m sorta neutral right now on the body-image thing. I probably still feel pretty sad and hurt over the whole thing but I try not to think about it because it just makes me feel like shit, honestly. Have decided that I’m not having any more children and have made peace with that as well in the past six months. I’m going to just keep doing a damn good job raising one and it’s gonna be awesome (probably). Thanks for all who commented before and for this encouraging site!

~Your Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth (more than enough!)
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 son, age almost 20 months, 20 months post-partum

Updated here.

That’s Why You’re Beautiful (Traci)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

Previous entry here.

The first time I posted here was 2 years ago. That’s quite scary! Our little ones grow up so fast. I have been viewing this site for three or maybe more years now and I am blown away by the many women who post and say they dislike their body or that they are unappy with themselves now that they have had a child, and while I can understand that (believe me, I do!) it saddens me so much because now that I am older I can truely appreciate what my body has done for me. My body had to grow to make room for a tiny human. And in growing it had to stretch that little bit extra because we can never predict how big our little squirts are going to be. And due to stretching we are given little rivers on our tummy (back, thighs, calves, breasts, etc) that grow as our baby grows. Lets face it, our little ones must get bored staring at their placenta all day! Imagine when the light or sun shines on your tummy and those stretch marks create little patterns for your baby to look at. Babies begin to learn in the womb. Wouldn’t it be nice to know they had something to look at other than their water sack! :)

What I am trying to say is, it took me a long time to realise I was beautiful. Not because of my face or my body, but because I could truely appreciate how lucky I am to have a healthy child who I watch growing every single day. I am blessed. I tell you something, I would MUCH rather have some stupid stretch marks than NOT have my son at all.

There are so many women (and men) who would take all the stretch marks, saggy skin and droopy boobs if it meant they could conceive a child of their own. Unfortunately, in some sense, things dont turn out in that way for everyone.

Biological mother or adoptive mother, either way, you are beautiful, not because of your face or your body, but because you can truely appreciate being a mother.

“Diamonds used to be coal, look young ’cause they’ve got soul. That’s why they’re beautiful.
And my heart used to be cold, ’til your hands laid on my soul. And that’s why you’re beautiful”

I attached some recent pictures of myself and how my body has changed since my last post and the rest are my two wonderful boys :)

~Your Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years and 2 months

Mother of a Princess (MommaMykah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Mother of a Princess

I’m 27 years old and a proud mother of an eight month old princess. She is my first and only child.

I’ve never been self-conscious about by body (in fact I loved my body) until after I had my baby and my breast went from pointy and perky to sagging and looking at the ground. My once flat tummy is now a flabby tummy, that I can work on but the breast are really making me depressed.

I was searching around on breast sites looking for company in my pity party and I came across this website. No one tells you that when you become a mommy you would never look the same again. All the celebrity images we are bombarded with make us feel like we are not beautiful anymore, well that’s how I felt anyway. But this website a shape of a mother got me thinking, that I am normal and my breast are normal for a mother and I am beautiful. I have read other mom’s stories and it has given me such strength and courage to love my body once again. Though I am not back at the mirror viewing stage, I am learning little by little to accept my sagging breasts, for I have breast fed my baby to a healthy weight, and I am learning to love my stretch marks for they are battle scars for borning a princess and my flabby tummy for it held my Princess close to me as she grew.

Thank you to all of the posts they have given me the boost I needed to love myself again, breast included :) .

Below are pictures of my body before my princess and 8 months after my princess. See her attached too.

MommaMykah

Mommy-ware (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

At 23 I became pregnant. I had never wanted children and enjoyed being just an aunt. Quickly I grew excited for the new baby growing inside me. I reveled in the joys of nesting and planning. I did tell myself though that I would not wear traditional maternity clothes and manage to go most of my pregnancy with few maternity items despite the fact I gained nearly 40 lbs! I also told myself I wouldn’t go around in what i thought was “mom-gear” : exercise clothes, t-shirts, gym shoes, once the baby arrived. I now live in comfortable clothes that are usually spit-up stained or covered with spaghetti sauce from dinner and I am okay with it. I haven’t quite gotten down to my pre-pregnancy weight nor do I expect to ever have my “old” body back and I’m okay with that too.

It is hard sometimes to look in my closet and see all the beautiful clothes I spent years collecting and know that I can’t just slip them on and go like I used too, but there are far more important things in life; my son is learning how to crawl and today it looks like he’s doing the worm perhaps tomorrow it will resemble something closer to a crab walk. I know that I am blessed with a son who loves me, a partner who supportive and a family I can always count on.

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings even if I have to wear yoga pants find out. Special thanks to this site for making all women comfortable in their skin!

1st Pregnancy, 8mos PP (today!)