Second Pregnancy

Young Mom of 2 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 5 Comments

i am 22. my husband an i were blessed with two amazing little men. i went into labor naturally at midnight on both of their due dates. my first was born at 1:48 pm. 7 pounds 10 ounces 19 and a half inches long perfectly healthy. he surprised us pretty good. they told me at 18 weeks pregnant with him that he was a girl. after about 12 hours of labor i pushed him out in about 10 minuets and they put him on my chest and i was the first to see that he was a boy! when our son was 4 months old i told my husband that i wanted another. my doctor told me that it will take about 4 months for my body to recover. so at 4 months pp we started trying for another. lucky us it didn’t even take a month and i was pregnant again. this time at 18 weeks i was told i was having another boy. this time they were right and after about 7 hours of labor and 5 minuets of pushing we had another healthy baby boy 7 pounds 10 ounces 20 inches long. i had an epidural with both of my births. i had a episiotomy with my first and honestly the doctor sewing that up after my son was born in the worst memory and pain that i remember from both births. with my second i tore but the doctor numbed me and i couldn’t feel anything. i have never really liked my body but seeing what it has done i have grown to love it and all of its imperfections and wrinkles. i only nursed my first son a few times (something i regret but cant change now) and i nursed his little brother till he was 16 months old he never had a drop of formula. i am almost to my pre preg. weight. but my body has changed so much. i know it sounds silly but i am thankful for my stretch marks when i feel them or see them i just think about how much i love my babies. kind of like a tattoo but saggy wrinkly skin instead. they will be 2 in september and 3 in july and i couldn’t be any happier. we are done reproducing and i am doing my best to make sure my sons grow up to be great men.

1st picture my belly now
2nd picture is my belly the day before my 2nd son came into the world.
3rd picture is a few days before the birth of my first son

Coming to terms… (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 30
Births: 2
Kids: age 2 and 4

I remember seeing pregnant woman and thinking how perfect, sexy, gorgeous, powerful and voluptuous they are. Pure WOMAN. I was in awe.

I was even excited to be that perfectly sexy gorgeous powerful voluptuous WOMAN when I became pregnant with my first child…until the weight came. I had never had body image problems and even fought against the idea of someone else’s Ideal Body Image through writing for young girls and in day-to-day life… but suddenly I wasn’t that beautiful pregnant lady, I was fat. My face was fat. Back fat? Where the hell did you come from? Hot and sweaty, out of breath… I was never one to stare at myself in the mirror, I looked, but not obsessively or really put much thought into it, no shmutz on my face, shirt’s not inside out, etc., but now? I can’t even see myself. Pieces, a face I don’t recognize, an arm or that not so perfect belly, knees, only parts but could never see the whole. In fact I mostly avoid the mirror all together except on the strange occasion I stare and try, really try to see me. I can’t.

One afternoon walking back to a Cat Power show from the bathroom I looked up and nearly run into this goddess of a woman -long thick black hair, creamy hazelnut skin, clothing hanging perfectly, seductively off her curves, dark gorgeous eyes staring directly at… me. “You are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen” she says, “You’re glowing brighter than the sun.”

“Th-th-thank you” I manage to stammer and looking into her eyes I remember seeing that beauty in other women and for the first time I feel like a perfectly sexy gorgeous powerful voluptuous WOMAN.

My second child is nearly two and though I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight I take a shower and wonder why I still can’t see my pubic hair without really sucking it in… Which I do a lot of, and wear long shirts, and feel self-conscience when I wear an Ergo and my gut hangs over the waist strap.

The other day my two daughters and I were wrestling in bed. Lying on my back I read the Braille story my deep stretched skin marks told and squishing and squeezing my belly I say “isn’t it beautiful” and both girls nodded immediately with huge smiles. The one year old kisses and hugs my flabby stomach.

What perfectly amazing work this body has done, and beautiful stories it tells. What sexy curves it has and how gorgeously proportioned it is. How powerful I am carrying two children to term and birthing them at home, naturally. This voluptuous woman I see in the mirror is breathtaking.

062210-anon-1

My Story – I Have a Long Way to Go (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 33 Comments

Age: 30
2 Pregnancies, 2 Births
Children 9yrs & 7.5yrs

When I was a kid I was skinny/average, like most kids were back then. When I hit 10 or so I started to gain some weight. I lived on a farm so I had to do hard work and because of that my weight fluctuated a bit (not as much work/activity in the winter). I never really noticed that I was chubby until I was 13 and met my “best friend”. She made fun of EVERY part of me. I was to short, my nose was crooked, my top lip was too poofy for the size of my bottom lip (they are about the same size), my butt was too wide for how big it was top to bottom, my finger nails to pointy, my eyes to almond shaped, my hips too small. You name it, she had something bad to say about it. It was such an impressionable time for me and she ruined what self esteem I had. I met my husband when I was almost 18. He always said he thought I was sexy and beautiful. Even when I was pregnant he still wanted to see me naked and make love with me. During my first pregnancy I gained about 30 pounds. I didn’t quite lose all the weight when I became pregnant again when my first was 10.5 months old. Again I gained about 30-35 pounds. I nursed through my pregnancy and went on to tandem nurse. I lost a LOT of weight rather quickly. I lost all the baby weight and more probably by the time my second child was a year old. I am smaller now than I was before I was ever pregnant, about 25 pounds lighter. You would think that would make me feel really good but it doesn’t. I work out regularly (at least until the past month or), stay active through out the day and eat really healthy. I can’t stand to see my stretch marks, loose skin and small breasts. After nursing for 6 years straight my breasts are even smaller than their already to small pre-pregnancy size and my nipples are stretched out.

I really want to get a boob job, nose job and a tummy tuck but my husband says no way, I’m beautiful just the way I am and he wouldn’t want to touch my boobs if they were fake. He thinks they would look and feel weird. I can’t stand my stomach. I can’t seem to burn the last of the fat off of it, unless I starve myself. The loose skin on it is just disgusting too. I am always grabbing and pinching it wishing it would just go away. My husband says he thinks my stomach is as sexy as it ever was and it’s amazing because it accommodated our precious children. Under normal circumstances I would believe all these things except he has been looking at porn so much. A few months ago he promised me he would not do that ever again and that if we made love every day he wouldn’t want to do it anymore. We do make love almost every day and I still caught him looking at it when I was outside in the yard, playing with the kids! He couldn’t even wait until I wasn’t home to do it (oh and we had just made love the morning before and I had no idea he was even horny that day). He says it’s not because he doesn’t find me attractive. He always tells me how sexy I am and can’t keep his hands off of me. He’ll walk by and say, “MMM MMM” or squeeze my butt when I walk by or bend over. All I can figure is that if I looked like the porn stars he loves to look at so much he would stop looking at other women (I took some naked pics that even I can’t deny I actually look really good in but he still prefers to look at other women naked when it comes to satisfying himself. He actually wanted to show them to his co-workers, or someone because he said I looked so beautiful it was hard to keep them to his self!). Unfortunately we can’t afford for me to get any plastic surgery. I keep telling him when I save up I’m getting it done whether he approves or not. Why wouldn’t he want me to get these things done if I’m willing to do them??? He would be the one benefiting from it. It just doesn’t make sense. I know he loves me very much. He helps out around the house, helps out with the kids and supports me in everything I do. I have become obsessed with is porn habit though. Every time I go outside to do yard work or leave with the kids all I can think about is that he must be jacking off to porn. I just can’t let this go. I don’t know if most women’s husbands look at it and they think it’s no big deal but it’s a big deal to me.

I have so much work to get myself emotionally healthy. I really don’t want to pass this negative body image and screwed up thinking onto my daughter. I’m always worried that I’m going to gain a pound or two and then my husband won’t want to look at me or touch me anymore. I’m thinking about seeing a counselor. I’m not sure at this point if it will do me any good though. I just can’t imagine looking at myself in the mirror and not thinking I’m fat, ugly, stretched out and scarred up. Thanks for listening to me.

The first attached picture is me when I was 19 before I was pregnant, the second is 27 weeks with my second baby, the last picture is a full body shot taken yesterday.

A letter to my body 1 yr PP (Emily)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Reader's Favorite, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Uncategorized, Update 18 Comments

Age: 23
1 pregnancy, son is 12 months old, 1 yr PP

Dear body,
Thank you for all that you have given me and others. I am sorry for what I used to think of you, I was wrong you are beautiful. I promise to never be ashamed of my body anymore. I promise to love this body and treat it with respect for the rest of my life. I promise to be PROUD of my belly, my breasts, my scars. I created and brought a life into this world and so far have nourished that life with only my body. I am too insignificant to realize the gift god gave me by making me a woman. I am a creator of life and beauty, I do not have to look like a bikini model to be happy. I am a mother, like the earth with hills and valleys. I love you body!!!!

Love Yourself Mama, Then Love Everything Else (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 23 Comments

Why is it, that as women, when we are at our best, we look into ourselves and label it the “worst”?
We never seem to realize how great we are until we fall below that bar that we have set so ridiculously high for ourselves!
It is sad to see, hear, and live. And all it seems to do is cause shame and the sense of unworthiness.
And why?
Because we are not a size 0? Because we have stretch marks here, there, and every where? Because we have that last inch or more of skin that has decided it has lost all elasticity and would rather droop down then suck back up and give us a smooth, T.V. worthy tummy? Because our once perky, teenage breasts now have that motherly sag?
Because we lose our cool and yell? Because once in a while we spend an extra 5 minutes in the shower just to avoid the inevitable screaming, crying, and fighting children? Because sometimes we skip on sweeping the floors because 4 times a day just seems like enough some days? Because after making breakfast, changing diapers, doing 6 loads of laundry, plugging your ears during screaming fits, not to mention trying to make something worthy of eating for dinner, we would rather just sit on the couch for a solid 5 minutes of silence? Because, yes, we do break down and instead of stopping the children from crying, we just join them?
And because we do all these things, and have the “imperfect” yet, perfectly beautiful bodies, we feel shame and unworthiness? When did the image of a mother’s body, no matter the age, go from a natural woman, stretch marked and sagged, to an air brushed, breast implanted, and stretch mark free woman?
I want to know, because the exact millisecond this took place, women lost their pride and self esteem, and all I want is for all the women and mommies out there, to have that back.
It saddens me to read of women that are ashamed and misplaced mentally, to read stories of women that are mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by husbands, family, and friends, because they are no longer beautiful, because their bodies have become “tainted” all because we have brought beautiful gifts from God into this world.
What is our world coming to?
Why are women only perfect in magazines, and then expected to portray that on a day to day basis, and if that is not possible, then we might as well cover head to toe so no one witnesses the damaged bodies?
I love myself, 20 lbs heavier, 10 lbs lighter, skin a little looser, skin a little darker, a few less stretch marks ago… this is who I am. And I hope you can love yourself too, because that is what we are meant to do: Love ourselves. If we can do that, than we can do anything.

060210-bryana-1

Updated here.

I Absolutely Loathe My Stomach (Toby)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

I have been trying to come to terms with my pp tummy for 5 years. I am only 24 but I feel like I am trapped in the body of an 80 year old woman. I am 5’7 and 150 lbs. I have two beautiful children ages 5 and 1. I work out at the gym regularly with only success of losing fat, I am still left with extra skin no matter what I do. It seems the more fat I lose, the more saggy I get. I guess this is just especially touchy for me because I work at a gym, and I have always been athletic but my goals are so unattainable right now. It is hard to see my friends (whom are also mothers) walk out of child birth unharmed, we work out together and while they have beautiful abs I have a layer of saggy squish hanging out on top of mine. I have stretch marks all over my love handles, inner thighs, and stomach. They are mostly where I have extra skin, and I would mind having those chopped off along with my extra skin. My love handles have grown tremendously throughout my pregnancies and it seems as if the squish is there to stay too. I won’t even get to my breasts, but they are just as bad as my stomach…described as..empty bags of sand I suppose. Some days I feel better about my body than others but there are days of all time lows as well. Seeing all of the other women on here does make me feel better about my situation, but only until I look in the mirror again. (And ohhh how those gym mirrors can be decieving!) Is it wrong to just want to go to a surgeon and get everything repaired to the way it was before? I hate my body :-( My children are my world, I would never take them back. I just wish I could fix myself! My husband is extremely supportive and says I am beautiful no matter what, my body has damaged my mind so much that I don’t take anything he says to heart, I just reply with a monotone “thanks, babe.” I plan on getting a tummy tuck and breast lift when I reach my goal weight (130) and when I hit the lottery. lol. Okay, thank goodness for financing… I try so hard to look past the vanity of it all and appreciate and embrace my body the way a mother should, but for me the reality is that I will not be completely healed inside and out until I am happy with my body. I’m sorry if I sounded like I’m throwing a big pity party, it’s just one of those days. Reading all of your stories has made me feel more thankful than I have been lately. Thank you all.

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

~Your Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 weeks pp

I am a 22 year old mother of 2 girls. The oldest is turning 2 in June and the younger is 3 weeks old. My body changed a lot with both pregnancies. The first time around I only got stretch marks on my hips and avoided them entirely on my belly. I began at 125 lbs and gained 36 lb. She was born at 40w1d. It took me 13 months to get down to 132 at which point I got pregnant with my second daughter. I gained 37 lbs with her and got more stretch marks. At 11 days pp (last time I weighed myself) I weighed 150 so lost about 14 lbs so far. I’m not overly worried about losing the weight. I hope to lose more by breastfeeding and eliminating junk food and just taking the kids out for walks. I had a hard time accepting my body after my first daughter but over time I have learned to love it for what it did. If I had to choose to have my kids or my old body back, I would choose my kids. I know my husband loves me and says he finds my body more attractive than before because of the fact that he watched it transform to bring life into the world. I won’t be wearing a bikini anytime soon but in no way am I ashamed of my body. I have many reasons to be happy, 2 of which are my sweet little miracles! The first picture is me at 9 weeks pregnant before I starting showing with my second daughter to see what I looked like after my first pregnancy. The second picture is me at 40 weeks pregnant with my second. The rest are of my belly at 2 weeks pp.

Updated here and here.

Plus Sized Mummu

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, PCOS, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

2pregnancies, 2 births, 2 boys.
13 months pp.
22 yrs old.

I was told from about 16 that I would never fall pregnant, due to scarring on my uterus and falopian tubes from PCOS. Id had my period since I was 13, and was producing 3-4 eggs per month, but none of them would implant, thats what the doctor had told me.
At 17, fresh out of highschool I found myself pregnant. I weighed 98kgs when I fell pregnant and was a size 16 jeans, 16 D bra. After leaving an abusive relationship, going into early labour and suffering through preaclampsia, gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, I was induced 2 weeks after my due date. 3 hours of very easy labour later I delivered a beautiful baby boy, 7 pound 9. I weighed 110kgs
I met mhy now husband in highschool, when we were 14, but we never stayed together long enough t fall in love. I saw him in July 2007, when my son was 8 months old, and we fell in love. He moved in 3 weeks later, and we got engaged in december of that year. We got married in August of 2008, and after struggling to fall pregnant, we found out we were expecting on our wedding day! I weighed 135 kgs the day we got married. The weight gain was due to my PCOS getting worse, and the medcation.
In April, 2 weeks after my due date, I travelled 900kms by myself to the only hospital in my state that will deliver women with a BMI of 41 or over. I was induced, and 12hrs of hard labour and one shot of morphine later, I had held the most beautiful baby boy in my arms for a split second before the doctors took him away because he wasnt breathing. I rang my husband 5 minutes later to tell him our baby wasnt breathing, that he was slipping away from us, and when he answered, our baby screamed for the first time! So daddy got to hear hos first breath. He is aour little miracle baby, and though he was nearly taken from us again at 8 months old when he choked, he is here with us still, and 13 months old. He was born 9pound 8. I weighed 116kgs a week PP, but quickly put the weight back on when I went on the pill. Im not 127.9kgs, and following a calorie controlled diet and exercise regime. This is my body, and while I dont love it, I am not ashamed! I am proud and greatful that I got to experience something I techinocally never should have!

Confidence?.. what’s that? (Suzanne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 16 Comments

I became pregnant with my eldest when i was 19, before i had her i had a great figure (i couldn’t see it at the time but now i do!) i was slim but had curves, my breasts were always small but they were perfect, round, firm and wonderful. Since having my second daughter 8 months ago my confidence has dissapeared, i no longer see anything attractive when i look in a mirror, i was lucky in that i only have the odd one or 2 stretch marks, my stomach has remained pretty much the same as before, i seem to have acquired an unusually flat flabby bum, which seems unfair considering i’m so bony everywhere else, i could at least have a nice perky bum :P and my breasts.. well, not only are they still small but now they sag, and my nipples are darker, they don’t look ‘sexy’ at all anymore. I’ve always had a very slim figure but since having my girls my weight has plummeted and i am left with NO curves, i would do anything for a bit of weight on me, i just want to feel feminine again!

I have uploaded some recent photos (and yes there appears to be an ‘orb’ on the photo of my bum! :P) and i am a little scared of getting negative comments, not about the changes to my body due to having children but more my weight, i have some health issues at the moment that means i really cannot put on weight, i would do almost anything for a few curves here and there! ;) i am always jealous of curvy ladies, women on this website who upload photos saying they feel ‘fat’ or ‘flabby’ all i see is CURVES! beautiful soft curvy bums and boobs.. and i’d give anything to have some of them! :D

Anyway, i have been browsing this wonderful website for months now, and every body i see looks beautiful, i’m just hoping to see myself in the same way i see every other mother one day, your all stunning, i never notice the stretch marks or the sagging skin, all i see is a woman who is a mother, a woman who has experienced the most amazing thing in the world, creating life! nobody should EVER feel anything less than stunning after having a child, you no longer have the body of a girl, you have the body of a woman, that should be celebrated and adored, it’s a real shame the media have made so many mums out there feel inadequate, we all have amazing qualities, we are all beautiful in our own ways and variety is the spice of life :)

Age 24
2 pregnancies and 2 births.
Almost 3 year old daughter and an 8 month old daughter.