Notice the deep bruising along the bottom of my belly? These bruises (and the red marks) are from the anticoagulant injections I must take while pregnant to prevent blood clots. I’ve always been envious of those who can show their bare belly (even an inch of it) during pregnancy. This was a good, low-bruise day for me… and I was on the “good” medication (Lovenox) instead of the “less good” (heparin — which I take more frequently AND produces worse bruises).
I gained 33 pounds during my pregnancy and have lost almost all of it at 8 weeks post partum. I still have what looks like a 4 or 5 month pregnant belly (and don’t fit into my pre-pregnancy pants), with a dark linea negra and stretch marks around and under my belly button and on my hips… I’m still getting used to my new body and hope that the linea negra fades and that with exercise the belly continues to get smaller. I had a c-section (14 staples) and am pleased with how the incision is healing.
Initially after giving birth to our precious daughter, I was so overjoyed, that my body was not even a consideration for days – I simply didn’t care what I looked like. However after a few weeks I started to feel like me again; my tunnel vision widened so that Anna stopped being the one and only thing that I could think or care about and, among other things, my interests broadened to encompass considerations such as what my husband thought about my new naked body, and whether I’d feel sexy, or attractive, or beautiful ever again. I was still completely happy with my baby daughter, and the changes to my body still seemed a minuscule price to pay, yet I couldn’t help but wonder these things about whether I’d ever look the way I used to, or what my sex life would be like from now on….. And for a while it got me down – I believed that I would never tone up my jelly-belly, and that my stretchmarks would never fade, and that I would never be the young, slim and attractive woman that I was pre-pregnancy. Now, though, I have reached a place where I feel a kind of calm acceptance, compassionate understanding and unconditional love towards my body, and this is why: Looking at my body materialistically, my breasts are now large and loose, I have gained a lot of weight, a couple of stretchmarks and some bagging and sagging here or there. However, looking at it from a level penetrating skin-depth, my body has done a terrific and wondrous job; from nothing more than the merging of two cells, it has created, nurtured, protected and delivered a complete human being! And I feel so proud to be the woman I am right now, because from me has come something so perfect, and pure, that I can barely believe she is real! I look at my stretchmarks, and my remaining ‘pouch’, and my leaking, sagging breasts with their sore, chapped nipples, and I am proud. I look at my body, and I see evidence of my fertility, and I am reminded of the miracle that it has partaken in… I truly am in awe, and cannot believe the utterly amazing process, which I have been a part of. At the moment, all I can feel for my body is love, respect and pride – This is truly all I feel; there is no negativity even in the tiniest quantity, despite the fact that my body is now far less ‘attractive’ or ‘acceptable’ than it has ever been before, and it is overwhelming. Every mother should be proud of their body, because no matter what it looks like – indeed WHATEVER it does look like – it was the incubator that created and nurtured their baby until it was ready to expel it into the outside world, and every wrinkle, stretchmark or bit of saggy skin is proof of that fact. So here it is, my body, and I’ve never been more proud.
Updated here.
I had my daughter 3 months before I turned 21. She is the first for both me and my husband. I was 250 before i got pregnant. I was 274 the day i had her and dropped back to 250 the day she was born. I thought i looked pretty good 1 week post partum. Over the next few weeks… months.. I kept gaining weight. I couldnt figure out why because I was breastfeeding and eating the same as before i got pregnant… Actually better because there was no money for going out to eat. They did multiple tests and discovered i had hypothyroidism. In the 5 months since i had my daughter i gained 60 pounds and weighed 310 pounds. I am completely disgusted with myself and the way my body looks. I’ve looked at all of the other moms and it makes me feel like im not alone but it certainly doesnt make me feel better about me. Now that im on medication for the hypothyroidism i lost 14 pounds in a week not doing anything differently. Im not even breastfeeding anymore. Its obvious that its going to take time and obvious that the meds are working. I just have to learn to accept myself for the way i am now with the hope that one day i’ll get to where i WANT to be! the first 2 pictures are a few months before i got pregnant. The second 2 are the day before i gave birth. the fifth is one week post partum. the next few are from today at 5 and a half months Post partum… Front and side views both normal and when i suck it in.. I’ve also got the saggy boobs which also have bright red stretchies on them. the last is my sweet daughter who is certainly worth it all :)
I struggled with my weight all my life. I struggled with a viscous eating disorder that ruled my every moment, and nearly killed me. I was 106 pounds, and had no menstrual cycle to speak of, fainting spells, seizures, ulcers, and heart problems. Eventually I got more confident, thanks to my (now) husband, and started getting healthy. I got to 120 pounds, started ovulating again, stopped drinking, and got happy. After 3 years together, he asked me to marry him. Shortly after that, we got pregnant. Getting pregnant with my baby boy was the most miraculous thing to me. As a teenager, I had a miscarriage. I was not in a place in my life where I could have handled parenthood. I was irresposible, immature, and unhealthy. Regardless, that was MY baby, and it was gone. I was haunted for years about the baby that might have been. I was devastated. when we got pregnant, I was so afraid that it could happen again. My mother had 6 miscarriages before she got pregnant with me. I threw out any lingering eating habits that threatened my child, and put my baby above all else. I had gotten healthy and my binging/purging had mellowed out, but I was still trapped in the cycle. As soon as i knew I was pregnant, however, I threw a wheel in the gears and stomped on the brakes. Part of letting that go was eating frequently, and being comfortable with food because it was for my son. I snacked almost constantly, and refused to let myself throw up. after that many years, it was a hard thing. It was a shock, I had a few panic attacks, and a few crying fits. But i was adamant. It was all in the name of my baby, and that gave me all the strength I needed. I was five months pregnant when we were married. we had to set the wedding ahead, because my great big beautiful belly was so big doctors first thought i was having twins. I gained over 70 pounds during my pregnancy. I went from 120, to 190 the day I gave birth to my beautiful boy. He was my miracle, and every tiny inch of his perfect little life was worth every pound I gained and more. After he was born, I lost 30 pounds almost right away. between hormones, breast feeding, and lack of appetite, they just melted off. But once I got stronger and more active, the weight just stopped going away. my clothes stopped getting looser. It just slowed to a halt. I was upset at first, and in denial. During pregnancy I had been able to snuff my insecurities with my confidence that my body knew exactly what it was doing. I guess I just expected my body to take care of it, and when It didn’t I didn’t know how to handle it. I held as hard as I could to my new found confidence in my figure, and how it had all been for an amazing cause, and there was absolutely no reason to fret at all about my body image. However, bit by bit, I couldn’t help feeling self conscious with my deflated figure, and became really depressed. I realised later that I became self concious and embarrased with my body when we got television. Every bony hip, flat tummy and twig-like appendage beat down my confidence and love for myself. Then, I found this site. I felt embarrassed then. Not for my body, but for ever having sold my soul to the ideals of a SOCIETY with an eating disorder. This whole country, and the entire nations media, has an eating disorder. I feel ashamed that I ever let that influence creep back into my life. I have an amazing, beautiful son who is so smart and happy and loving. I have a great husband, who is nurturing and strong where I am not. I have an amazing family, I LOVE my life, and I vow to never, ever ever put any pressure on food, body image, or that hunger for approval in my children or my own life. I read that article “save our daughters” and all I have to say is if I can protect my family from every “suck in your gut” i will forever be grateful-and all i can hope is that i can raise my children with more strength of character than I had.
Updated here.
I have been overweight my whole entire life. I always joke that the “thinnest” Ive ever been was at birth – 6 lbs. Funny, but true. At one point, I got up over 400 lbs. Then I made a decision that changed my life completely. I had lap-band weight loss surgery in Dec. 2005. The surgery has been amazing… I would have never been able to lose weight like I have without it. Ive had no complications and would definitely reccomend it to anyone that is seriously obese. However, it comes with its own set of rules and guidelines, you have to work hard and youre definitely not taking “the easy way out”, like some people say the surgery is. If you thought dieting was hard, this is just as hard, if not harder, even. Because of the lap band surgery I lost over 100 lbs., reaching my first goal of getting below 300 lbs. In Jan. 2008, my period didnt show up on time and on a whim I took a pregnancy test. I couldnt believe it, TWO LINES! I was pregnant. So many doctors for so long had told me that I would NEVER be able to get pregnant being so morbidly obese. I had basically thought I would never be a mom… that it would take me years and years to lose the weight I needed to be considered “healthy”. Id been sexually active for years – and Ill admit, sometimes ‘careful’ and sometimes not, and never gotten pregnant. I didnt think I could. But something must of changed, because here we were… pregnant. My dream had finally become true. I am now 7 months pregnant, expecting a baby boy in mid September. I have only gained about 15 lbs. throughout my pregnancy (11 in one month, unfortunately – right as I hit my 3rd trimester.) Ive had no complications with my lap band with my pregnancy… and have actually had few complications with the pregnancy as a whole; heartburn, constipation, acid reflux and being tired all the time, as most pregnant women tend to be. However, I have come to notice that my pregnancy is very different than that of all my friends. Sure, we have the same common complaints, but at the same time they are still very different than me. I look at them and envy them sometimes… wishing I could just be “normal”. I have wanted this baby for so very long, I want the full-on experience; all the aches and pains… the water break in the checkout line at Walmart… I want to feel the pain of the contractions (just til the epidural kicks in! Im not THAT crazy!) I just want it… all. I am still so amazed that my body is doing this… that Im finally pregnant… that Im getting what Ive always wanted. So really and truly I dont have much to complain about. And I try not to compare myself to my friends, and girls I see at the doctor’s office, random girls I pass at the grocery store. But at the same time, its gets to me sometimes. See… they are all on the thinner side and you can see their bodies changing shape, see them gaining weight, obviously tell they are pregnant. They get measured when they go to the doctor… they complain about stretchmarks and clothes that dont fit. (ha! the story of my life!!!) They get to wear cute little shirts that accentuate their bumps. People are constantly asking them about their pregnancy and touching their bellies. But with me… well… My baby is nestled down inside a slighty more tubby tummy, so I still just look fat and like Im gaining weight again… Its hard to find his heartbeat sometimes because of my “extra padding”, so everytime I go to the doctors its like playing marco/polo to try and find it… Ive had 4-5 sonograms to make sure everything is going well, since its hard to see/tell from the outside. I have another sonogram July 10th to check on his size, since you cant really tell manually because I am bigger… I dont have the “baby bump” that everyone is always talking about… its more like a “baby mountain”, actually… Cute “plus-size maternity” clothes are basically non-existant… so Ive spent much of my pregnancy in sweatpants, how charming… The stretchmarks I have are a result of too much ice cream years ago – not from my growing son… Jose, my mom and I are the only ones that have felt him move – as its so faint sometimes, since I carry the extra weight around him… People cant really tell Im pregnant just by looking at me… so I dont get that random conversation in the baby department at Target… This has driven me to tears at time… because I am so happy and bursting with joy that I want to just shout from the rooftops, “IM PREGNANT!” I want to tell everyone my secret!!! I want to see other preggo’s and other mom’s out and about and share that soft smile with each other… its like belonging to a super secret club, wheres MY membership!? I want random strangers to come up and rub my belly!!! (Ok maybe not so much on that last one, but still!!!) But then I remember that Im HAPPY. Im HEALTHY. My son is growing right on track, doing all the things he is supposed to be doing, developing the way he should… and Im PREGNANT, despite the odds. And its then that I realize that Im being petty and foolish and that things could be much worse. I suck it up and realize this…. those that know me, are close to me, and love me – know that Im expecting. They know Im so happy to finally be a mommy. They are the ones that matter. The playful kicks I feel from my son are a reminder that I am never alone… it doesnt matter if anyone else feels them or not. His daddy loves me unconditionally, doesnt care what size I am, and rubs my belly every night before bed. When I start thinking about all these things, I feel a little better about being a “plus-size mom”… and so Ive come up with this; Its nice to know that my body, overweight as it is, is still doing exactly what its supposed to… providing a warm safe haven for my little one to grow in… My breasts might be on the saggy side, and covered in long-faded stretch marks, but they will work just the same, to feed and nourish my son. My fleshy arms will cushion him, hold him as he sleeps, and provide endless hugs thoughout his lifetime. My flabby thighs will provide a place for him to lay on, a lap to sit on, a knee to bounce him on. I know that may be a “larger-scale” mom, but I am a MOM, none-the-less… and Ive come to understand that no matter the size of your body, it is the size of your love for your child that really and truly matters most.
I had my baby girl June 2nd, 2008. We named her Autumn Elizabeth. She was very much wanted and I was so excited to become a mom. I gained more weight than I had wanted/expected to (I wanted to gain just the 25-35 that is written about…) but i ended up gaining 55 lbs. I went from 125 to 180. I am down to 155 2 weeks postpartum, but want to lose another 15-20 before i have to go back to work. I also hope my belly goes back to semi-normal, I don’t mind a little pooch. I was lucky enough not to get any stretch marks. It is comforting to see everyone else’s bodies and hear their experiences, it helps me not to be so hard on myself.
the first time i found out i was pregnant i was so excited b/c i was gonna bring a beautiful baby in this world. of course i didn’t know how hard pregnancy could be my first 3 month’s i had bad morning sickness but it got easier and by the time i was 5 month’s it pretty much stopped. but i lost 16 pounds in the first month and only gained 23 pounds during my whole pregnancy i was scared b/c i wanted my baby to be healthy when he was born to my surprise he weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces i named him zachariah and he is worth every stretch mark and pound. i would do everything all over for my son i still have body issues and i don’t like what i see whenever i look in the mirror but i look at him and am so proud of what my body had done. i thank this website b/c it is helping me with my issues of my body.
I am 24 years old and I am already a mother of a 2 year old boy. This is my second pregnancy. These pictures are from week 24 of my second pregnancy. I am a pretty small girl. I became huge with my first but I gained an average weight of 30 lbs. I was sick all the time with my son and very stressed through the whole pregnancy. After I had him it took me over a year to look “normal” again. As soon as I started to become okay with my post pregnancy bod, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. The first time I got a few stretchmarks around my belly, which you might be able to see in the pictures (sorry for not super great quality). I am nervous this time around because I am only 24 and although I am not super critical of my body, I think it’s normal to feel scared of the outcome of what our bodies are going to look like after a baby/babies. I think that is very normal. I do! We are women! ;-)
Updated here.
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and turned 20 before I had him. I am engaged to the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and although the pregnancy was unplanned he was thrilled with the news; because after five years of trying to win my heart, he not only finally had me, but was about to start a family with who he calls the girl of his dreams. I cannot say that I was as thrilled at first – I was devestated. But that all quickly changed and although my pregnancy was less than wonderful, when times were hard I just had to hold my belly in my hands and feel my baby boy roll around and kick and punch and squirm – all of which he did 24/7 and it was the main (and sometimes only) joy I got out of being pregnant. I didn’t want to be induced and my doctor insisted, but after a week past my due date I reluctantly agreed, me and Anthony prayed for weeks about the possibility of an induction, so I was in ways prepared. It went surprisingly well, and I very comfortably and calmly gave birth to my BEAUTIFUL 7 lb. 7 oz. baby boy, 21 inches tall and looks just like his dad. I was able to go home 24 hours after he was born, no complications with him or me. He is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, next in line with his father coming into my life. I just had him 4 days ago and despite friends with babies saying coming home from the hospital would be hell on earth, I have found it beautifully easy, mainly because I have a good attitude about it I suppose. I am breastfeeding him and my milk came in well, he is a wonderful baby and gives me no trouble [yet] :) I have very little pain and can move around great, I can even exercise although I guess I probably shouldn’t. I’m 5’9″ and I was 130lbs in a size 2. when I got pregnant with him, ballooned up to 169lbs and a size 7 in regular jeans (i never did buy maternity jeans as none that I found were anywhere near long enough!) by the day before the induction. I ate so well, very healthy as I did before I got pregnant and actually alot less than people would have probably advised but I just wasn’t that hungry during pregnancy, I exercised every single day walking and pilates but I still gained the weight. I was really worried and still am about what I will look like. But my mom snapped back down to a size 2 even after me and my twin brothers so maybe I’ll be fine. I got some stretch marks on my left hip and on the inside of my left thigh despite my efforts against them, but the little ones on my stomach didn’t appear til after I gave birth. I’m now 4 days postpartum and I’ve lost only 13 lbs. and that really disappoints me. These pics are of me about a month before I got pregnant, me at 9 months pregnant, me today and then my beautiful little boy, Cecil.
Updated here.