Pregnant

Learning to Love My New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and had my first baby. I wasn’t too happy when I found out because it was unplanned. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he is a great father. I have such a hard time accepting my new body. It is basically one giant stretch mark. I have tried everything so far. I’ve had 2 laser treatments, nothing, cocoa butter, nothing. I would do anything to get them away! I hate my saggy skin. I just wish I could have my old body back. 4 close friends of mine that have babies all have no stretch marks! it makes me blame myself for not getting top of the line cocoa butter or oils. I love my son more then anything! I really hope they go away. As far as the excess fat I know I can for the most part control by exercising. I gained 65 pounds and have lost 45 so far and am 16 weeks post pardum. It is my first baby and because of how much damage this has done to my body it has questioned me if i want to have another baby. If you have any advice for the stretch marks, please help! I would do anything to make them go away! I love this website and almost every post has brought a tear to my eye! please help me, I really need the support!

1st picture-7 months pregnant
2nd picture-8 months pregnant
3rd picture- day i went to deliver
4th picture- 3 weeks post pardum
5th picture- now (16 weeks pp)
6th picture- now
7th picture- now
8th picture- now
9th picture- now
10th picture- now
11th picture- now
12th picture- now
13th picture- now
14th picture- my son
15th picture-me before

My Story (Holly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

My name is Holly. I am 25 years old and have one daughter, a two year old named Lillian. She was an unplanned pregnancy, conceived at what I used to think was the peak of my physical beauty. I was 23, single, and a dancer with perfect abs, lol. My whole life I have been told I was pretty, but too skinny. People would always ask me if I ever ate, if I did drugs or would tease me about not having any hips and how much more womanly they were than me because I had a small ass. All of this ridicule took its toll on me and I began to think I’d never really truely look like a woman, but always like a shapeless little girl. Fast forward to when I was pregnant, I gained almost 60 lbs with Lillian. 60 lbs on a 107lb, 5 foot 2 inch girl will shake things up a bit!! I LOVED being pregnant! I had an ass!! The weight that I had tried my whole life to put on, just came so easily and gave me the curves I had never dared to even dream I’d have someday. The weight I gained with Lilly came off easily enough, leaving with it an extra 10lbs and a spider web of stretch marks encircling my belly button, which also had now a strange little indent above it. I tried going back to go-go dancing, people would always look at me just a little funny when then light would hit me just right, and my old places of employment replaced me with younger, skinnier and more tonned young girls. I was livid to say the least! I became to loath my new body. I felt betrayed. How dare it give me the curves I thought I had always needed but take away my flawless skin! I hid my tummy from the world and refused to even don my usual swimsuit during the summer, saying I no longer liked to swim. This attitude continued really until tonight. I was looking through all of the photos on this site and it made me go back and compare photos I have of before and after I had my daughter. I had never dared do this before, and I was honestly shocked. I don’t really look different at all! And I really do like the way I look now better. The old me looked uncomfortable in her skin, the new me looks like I don’t really care. I think somewhere along the way in my hiding from the world I stopped caring. When I was no longer up on display I found more important things in my life, like the fiance who recently told me he thinks I look cute with a little more chub, or the daughter who tells my belly button she loves it after giving it kisses, lol. I don’t know if my grass isn’t always greener on the other side attitude towards my body will always stay now, but I do feel that I should be kinder on myself now, and appreciate what I do have. I have a healthy body that hides where my true beauty lies, in my soul and not in my skin.

Pictures I have are of before I was pregnant, seven months pregnant, and 18 months after baby- the first time I dared to go out in a bikini! I also added my tummy today standing up and sitting down.

Blessing and A Curse (Paige)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

My whole life I was in sports. I started gymnastics at 3 years old and didnt stop until I went away to college. I started running track and playing football in the 7th grade and continued until college. While in college I modeled. I was 20 when I became pregnant with my first child by the time she arrived I was 21. For some reason most women have nice round bellies while mine was more of a bullet shape (with both of my girls). After the first baby I lost some of the waist but realized I would neevr be the same ever again. I went to consultations to see how much a breast lift and implants would cost and a tummy tuck. I was informed by a doctor that due to havin such a large baby and carrying past 40 weeks destroyed my muscles. After months of working out I tried to get back into modeling but realized the stomach would never be the same. But after some time I accepted the body I was given. When my first child was 8 months old me and my husband discovered we were going to have another baby. So here we go again but this time 39 weeks 4 days and baby number 2 arrived June 2009. Now with the second child I gained 50 lbs. with my second baby and have not been able to get rid of it. I have dieted exercised but nothing is working. After growing up I relaized that I dont want to die on an operating table somewhere just because I was vain. So now I’m left with this body I hate but I’m also stuck woth two cute wonderful girls who I just cant get enough of!!! This negative image of myself is taking it’s toll I try to be positive but I have pictures of what I looked like only 3 years ago and its hard not to be depressed. I went from a size 1 in jr’s clothes to a size 14 in womens. Not to mention my breasts feel like hollowed out ziploc bags of pudding (sad but true), stretch mark on the back of my legs (back of the knees i didnt even know it was possible to get stretchmarks there), where pubic hair grows (even that got stretch marks!) and a double chin. Now I love my husband and my girls with all my heart but he thinks we should try again to see if we can get a boy. I’m like are you serious?!?! Although I would love a boy I just dont think I can go through with it and get more weight. A 23 year old body should not look like this! Thanks for listening to the rant of a crazy lady :)

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years old Madison Michelle and 8 month old Mackenzie Rose

Different Body, Same Girl (Leah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 11 Comments

22 years old
3 pregnancies, 2 births.
Justin 4, Tanner 2

I am in love. I love my body. I love my babies. I love my life. This body is NOT the body I am familiar with, but I am grateful. I have too much to be thankful for to focus on my exterior. In the end, its not my stretch marks, or cellulite that make me who I am. I EARNED these scars. I worked for 18 months to incubate my babies. Every stretch mark, every dimple… it was ALL WORTH IT. This body may not be what is recognizable to me, but I have a new body now… the body of a mother. This is my new shape, and I am not ashamed.

Second Update (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Body Image, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

Original entries here and here.

Children:
#1) Rayden Wolfgang: Dec 12, 2005
#2) Cairo Sofia: June 23, 2009
Age: 22

I guess this submission isn’t really about me. I have posted twice before because I think this website is nothing short of amazing. It has inspired me to love my body, it’s “flaws” and all. Our bodies have performed miracles; they have carried our babies and brought life into this world. Why would anyone find this terrible, ugly, unattractive? You fill in the blank!
It’s so hard for me to read some of these stories. There are so many women out there telling the world about how horrible they look and feel after having their children, not to mention many only 2-8 weeks postpartum… come on ladies! I know it’s said over and over again, but it takes 9 months, give it 9 months to return. But even if your “ideal” is not achieved in a short 9 months, who cares? If your husband, boyfriend, partner, whoever it is that is supposed to be in this with you, can not look at you and tell you that you are beautiful than how good of a person is he? My body took a complete 180 when I got pregnant with my first baby, Rayden. My husband could still look me in the eyes and tell me I was beautiful, stretch marks and loose skin to boot! I gave birth to his child for goodness sakes, and so did you ladies!
Get your faces out of the magazines and news articles! Who cares if all these celeb moms bounced back within weeks of birthing their children. That is not reality. That is a whole lot of money, discipline, and damage to the body. They are not the ideal. Look at the amount of women on this website that have less than “ideal” bodies!
I’m not saying every morning I wake up and thank the Gods that I have stretch marks from head to toe and loose sagging skin at the ripe age of 22, but I can thank the Gods that all I had to offer to have my 2 beautiful children was a little loose skin and some stretch marks. I do repeat to myself daily “I am beautiful” and I have been doing that for nearly 2 years now, and I do believe it now. I thought it was a bunch of garbage… until I saw the effects. Every person in your life can tell you that you are beautiful but it won’t make a difference until you can honestly say to yourself that you are beautiful and believe it.
I am truly sorry to hear how many of you find yourselves not only ugly, but devastatingly ruined. You’re not ruined, you have been remodelled.
This was written with nothing less than love. No one is perfect nor will perfection ever be achieved. Reach for the clouds before the stars; one step at a time.

Pic #1: 37 weeks pregnant w/ my daugher, Cairo.
Pic #2 & #3: Me today, 8 months and 5 days PP. I think I am beautiful, but not “ideal”, Thank God!

Updated here and here.

Regarding Scars and Stretch Marks (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Body Image, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

Age:23
Pregnancies/Births: 2/1 (girl, 18 mos)

I anguish over my loose skin and stretch marks. I have not gotten to a place of comfort or acceptance of my body, much less a place of pride over the story my ravaged body tells. I don’t understand how my husband can love such damaged goods, or how he could ever want to be intimate with me.
Something important occurred to me today though. My husband happens to have a ravaged body as well. At 22 years old and with a congenital heart defect, he has had 2 open heart surgeries and 2 angioplasties. He has a long, wide “zipper” scar on his chest. Another huge scar on his back. 2 more on his side from chest tubes. Both sides of his groin from the angioplasties. Many stretch marks from periods of weight fluctuation from medications.
And would it surprise any of you if I said I find him sexy? That I desire him? That when I see his scars, I see strength and a survival? Of course it wouldn’t. If anything, his scars make me love him a little more. And even if your partners don’t have scars such as these, everyone has something they don’t like about themselves, something that chips away at their self confidence. But we love our partners just the same, whether they are physically different from what is widely considered to be the ideal, yes?
Anyway, my husband sees the same in me that I see in him. He sees beauty in every mark on my body. Every one of them. Stretch marks are not a sign of weakness or failure. They’re a testament to the resilience of our bodies and the pure love it takes to physically grow and harbor another human being for almost a year. A mother’s body is so amazing, it is almost not even fully comprehensible to me. My husband knows that, and it makes me the most beautiful woman in the world to him.
So why do I still beat myself up do much? Why do I find myself so disgusting? Why do we all have so much trouble accepting and loving ourselves when we readily accept and love our partners, family, friends, even total strangers (like on this website)? I guess it just takes time, or life experience. I don’t know. I’m only 23, I don’t exactly have years of wisdom to shape my ideas and opinions. I just hope that we all find peace with our bodies, sooner rather than later. I think the women on this site are incredible and brave for posting. And I hope my ramblings help somebody out there feel better today :)
Photo #1 is at 5 mos pregnant, #2 is my Adalia :)

You’re really lovely, underneath it all (Amber)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 23 Comments

Being an only child, the first things I was told by my mother when I told her I was first pregnant were the horror stories of how her pregnancy was so horrible and that is why she only had one. When I developed stretch marks, she blamed me for not using enough lotion because she never had any. When my milk came in, she commented on how huge my breasts were, how strange my nipples looked, and when I weaned my first, she commented on how ugly my deflated breasts were. It was one insult after another from the only woman I confided and trusted in for pregnancy and postpartum support, my own mother.

My stretchmarks on my breasts (going from size B to D) were bright purple and surrounded my nipples like the rays of the sun. Up and down my hips, thighs, and sides were more “tiger stripes” – my adult cousin
actually pulled me aside and asked what was causing my bruising, if my husband was beating me. Everyone around me seemed to be pointing at something being wrong with me, wrong with my body, and that I was at
fault for it all.

I’ve learned over time and maturity, that my body is beautiful as it is. I don’t need to hide it, if someone has a problem with it, the problem lies solely with them inside their heads. I have breastfed both of my children for a total of 28 months at this point and we are expecting our 3rd child any day now – I plan to breastfeed him until I am depleted of fat as well. I started out in a size 10, after weaning baby #1, I was a size 6. After weaning baby #2, I was a size 4. I gained 60 lbs with each pregnancy, though only 45 lbs with this one. I’m 5’9″ and have a thin build, people who see me clothed after birth always think I have a perfect, childless body – but you know what? It’s really lovely, underneath it all, just in a different and more admirable way, in a way that has supported life to the fullest extent!

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 3rd vaginal birth any
day now
~The age of your children, or how far pregnant you are: 4 years, 2.5
years, and 35 weeks pregnant currently in photos

Updated here.

I’m a Bowl of Mixed Nuts! (April)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 15 Comments

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: currently preggo

Hi mommies & soon to be mommies!

My name is April, I am at 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant at this moment. Im posting on this site to share my thoughts and feelings and hopefully get some good feed backs thatll help cheer me up. I got married to my husband at 19, and am now preggo at 20 and will be giving birth at 20 :)

This pregnancy wasnt at all planned, and i must say i wasnt ready for it either. I am scared, anxious, excited, sad… depressed… im like a bowl of mixed nuts right now. I’m feelin’ all sorts of things that sometimes i wonder if im literally goin crazy!

I cant really talk to my mom about “body issues” coz she tells me thesame thing over and over again
she says — “i dint care about stretchmarks or how my belly would look while i was pregnant with you and your siblings, what mattered to me most was a healthy pregnancy and healthy babies! … how you look or will look shudnt be your main concern before after or during pregnancy, or in life!. etc blablabla” — I cried for a week and a half when my stretchmarks started showing, it was more for the fear of not being beautiful in my husbands eyes anymore (specially since there are a lotta girls who flirt around with him… it scares me that he might leave me for some1 who has a better lookin belly)… and i guess i cried coz i know that my body will never be thesame again, im scared of how bad it will look after i give birth.

My stretch marks started showing when i was 34.5 weeks into pregnancy, after i cried things out, i got over it a lil bit and sloaly accepted that i have stretchmarks. I agree with my mom that it shudnt be my main concern but there are still days when i look at my belly and feel bad about it. Today is one of those days coz i noticed that my stretchmarks had gotten much darker compared to the last couple of weeks, i thought they only get darker after giving birth? why is mine getting darker right now?.. hopefully one of you who is reading this has the same skin tone as me.

Along with the whole stretchmark issue its almost my due date (3/17/2010) and i still dont have signs… i get cramping feelings once in a while, but i dont have contractions.. etc. .. my EDD is soo close yet it feels like i’ll be pregnant forever!… i wanna see signs that ill give birth soon… at least exactly on my due date or a day or 2 after due date. my husbands in the army so im really hoping that by the time he comes home for his paternity leave our baby will come out… the army is only giving him 15 days! … he’ll be comin home on march 15. I am freaking out at the fact that we dont reli know when ill be having the baby…. thus making me feel worst coz i really want my hubby around during delivery!… aaaaaaaahhhhh

Anyhow ill be posting again after i give birth. as of now here are some pics.

first four pics are my pre-pregnancy body.
next two is my pregnanct belly at 6 months, with no stretch marks!
next two is me at 36.5 weeks

the rest are stretchmark photos:
first 2 stretchmark pics were taken on my 34th week. i oiled it up for the pic so i can see the stretchmarks clearly. my right side is worst than my left
next 3 stretchmark pics were taken on my 35th week. no oil
the last pics were taken on my 37th week. as you can see they got darker! is that normal??? i thought it only gets dark after delivery :( caucasians are soo lucky coz their stretchmarks look better.

Pregnant with #2! (Kylie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

I got pregnant by accident with my first child, perfect pregnancy, nothing went wrong. Was in labor for 14 hours, pushed for two. Had a beautiful baby boy, all NATURAL…NOT ONE drug on January 25th, 2009. :) Up until about 6 months postpartum I didn’t loose but 20 pounds after giving birth, and that was from breastfeeding. Finally in about August I decided of being “bigger.” I started doing a workout video every day and doing weight watchers. I lost a lot of inches and about 13 pounds. Then I started doing the Couch to 5k running program and lost more inches and another 12 pounds. So total 25 pounds, which I am might proud of. I got to the 25 pounds in about late October 09. Now I am 5.5 weeks pregnant and am going to gain weight again, right after I got back down 5 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight :( It’s worth it though, since this time I plan on working out the whole pregnancy and eating right, only gaining about 15 pounds, unlike last time…I gained 45…NEVER AGAIN! I also got stretch marks , but I am well over that issue! I am proud I have overcome them. ;)Well hope this is reassuring and inspirational to you all! :)

~Your Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth so far
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Noah–13 months

5.5 weeks pregnant in all pictures.

Overcoming (Brittany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 20
Number of births and pregnancies: 1 birth and pregnancy
4 months postpartum

My name is Brittany. I am a proud mother to a 4 month old little girl and wife to a wonderful and patient husband. I have been struggling to accept the way my new body looks since I was pregnant. I was a slim 135 pounds before the pregnancy and an avid runner. However I gained a whopping 70 pounds and have buried myself in a hole of self-pity since delivery (partially to due to postpartum depression as well). I have stretch marks on my breasts, belly, bum and legs. It had gotten so bad at one point that I couldn’t even watch TV without breaking into tears over a sexy woman on a commercial or show. I am really glad I found this website. It is good to know that I am not the only one who has to overcome issues with her postpartum body.