Blessing and A Curse (Paige)

My whole life I was in sports. I started gymnastics at 3 years old and didnt stop until I went away to college. I started running track and playing football in the 7th grade and continued until college. While in college I modeled. I was 20 when I became pregnant with my first child by the time she arrived I was 21. For some reason most women have nice round bellies while mine was more of a bullet shape (with both of my girls). After the first baby I lost some of the waist but realized I would neevr be the same ever again. I went to consultations to see how much a breast lift and implants would cost and a tummy tuck. I was informed by a doctor that due to havin such a large baby and carrying past 40 weeks destroyed my muscles. After months of working out I tried to get back into modeling but realized the stomach would never be the same. But after some time I accepted the body I was given. When my first child was 8 months old me and my husband discovered we were going to have another baby. So here we go again but this time 39 weeks 4 days and baby number 2 arrived June 2009. Now with the second child I gained 50 lbs. with my second baby and have not been able to get rid of it. I have dieted exercised but nothing is working. After growing up I relaized that I dont want to die on an operating table somewhere just because I was vain. So now I’m left with this body I hate but I’m also stuck woth two cute wonderful girls who I just cant get enough of!!! This negative image of myself is taking it’s toll I try to be positive but I have pictures of what I looked like only 3 years ago and its hard not to be depressed. I went from a size 1 in jr’s clothes to a size 14 in womens. Not to mention my breasts feel like hollowed out ziploc bags of pudding (sad but true), stretch mark on the back of my legs (back of the knees i didnt even know it was possible to get stretchmarks there), where pubic hair grows (even that got stretch marks!) and a double chin. Now I love my husband and my girls with all my heart but he thinks we should try again to see if we can get a boy. I’m like are you serious?!?! Although I would love a boy I just dont think I can go through with it and get more weight. A 23 year old body should not look like this! Thanks for listening to the rant of a crazy lady :)

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years old Madison Michelle and 8 month old Mackenzie Rose

14 thoughts on “Blessing and A Curse (Paige)

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 11:58 am

    Hi Paige,
    I read about this website yesterday in the OCR & out of curiosity I visited today. First of all congratulations for being mommy of wonderful healthy girls.
    There is nothing to be discouraged about your body. It is healthy and capable of doing its work. Ask those who never conceived.
    I am 48 and mother of 3 kids (one boy and 2 girls – 15,13,11) I began my married life at 31 and had my kids in my thirties. So you can imagine; there is no bouncing back to pre-pregnancy body (110 lbs)…I am 5’2″.
    I am going to share the tips that helped me go back to 125 lbs after 3 pregnancies. My doc told me to loose weight and not worry about tummy. Here it is –
    1. Nurse your babies and eat for ‘one’ only that is you. Drink liquids preferably water in between to keep the milk flowing. It helped me loose all except last 5 lbs after each pregnancy.
    2. Walk daily (30min to 1hour) with strollers
    3. sleep when kids sleep….day or night
    4. I am a vegetarian, fruits and veggies help me get all my nutriants except fat.
    5. Drink 1% milk when hungry in between meals.
    6. Eat only protein rich snacks in between your meals – e.g. tofu, peanuts, protein energy bars ets.
    7. Make love as often as you want…it is good cardio excercise and keeps us happy. Happy harmones help us loose weight & bad harmones accumulate fat on us.
    8. Enjoy & be grateful for motherhood!!! Live stress free life & see your body change.
    Hope this helps,

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    You can get back into shape. I am in the same boat, I only had one baby at age 21 and was a gymnast my whole life, I gained 52 or 53 in my pregnancy. It took a lot of work, but you can do it if you want, but you are still beautiful

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    paige, thanks for sharing your story. you as well as all the other mothers are to be commended for what you have done and are doin. I agree with Manjit, you have nothing to be discouraged about. you have brought two brand new lives into this world. Its tough to tell someone not to worry about what they look like, but the truth is by putting the right things into your body and resting well, you will be goin’ a long way in doin’ the best thing for yourself right now. I would also recommend a walkin program but I would start incorporating some bodyweight type exercises so you would get strength and conditioning. If I can help in any way, please let me know. Best to you and your family, happiness and health always.

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    You look as though you may have an abdominal hernia. I know that Bonnie has requested that we don’t mention tummy tucks, but I’m making a point of this for medical versus aesthetic reasons. Most abdominal hernias are benign and cause no problems but you should be cautious with abdomianl pain as a very small percentage of hernias can result in strangulated bowel. If you seek surgical intervention, most insurance plans will cover this as it a medical necessity, not cosmetic. With your diastasis recti, I’m guessing that you may be weaker than you were pre-preg and have difficulty lifting or suffer backaches. I am not a MD but a surgical RN. I’m not in the business of doling out medical advice since I’ve not been to med school, but just thought that I should mention that another surgical consultation with a board certified surgeon may be well worth your while and increase your quality of life. Congats on your girls and good luck to you.

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    I think you are beautiful, your body shows how well you did! You are a mother now…be proud!! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and obviously, your hubby wants to make another baby with you so he still thinks you are beautiful too!!!! When it comes down to it, you have babies which some people would do anything to have…the vessel you carried them in is a trophy, not something to be ashamed of!! Kudos, mama, for posting!!!

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    Hi, Just for anyone reading who relates to this post- the reason you (and I!) had a “bullet shape stomach” as opposed to a round one is precisely because we did sports like gymnastics. I am an ex-gymnast also and it is very common for thin fit girls to get a diastasis recti (separation of the stomach muscles), particularly if they had an over developed six-pack (as we both would have due to gymnastics) and regularly did crunches. Crunches and situps are by far the WORST ab exercise you can do esp. post partum. I used Julie Tupler’s method (just google her name) and i went from having a 5cm separation of muscles to just 1cm. Dom’t believe surgeons who will tell you it can’t be repaired, in most cases it can. it was hard work but worth it. Best of luck.

  • Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    I’m young mom and former model as well, so I can empathize with You. I carried a (+ baby for 42 weeks, so I know how torn muscles feel as well. We fay the price for having a small belly before pregnancy :(
    Try to appreciate the good in Yourself: Your skin is lovely. you have two great babies, and Your health :)
    Give Your body time to recover.
    plus..if You tell Your husband to wait on having that boy, Your torn stomach muscles will have time to regrow ;)Wishing You the best!

  • Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 12:19 am

    Having well-developped tummy muscles doesn´t give you a certain shape while pregnant or problems with diastasis recti postpartum. I had (and have again!) really strong core muscles and visible abs and I had a round little belly and no problems with diastasis recti afterwards. I survived pregnancy back-pain-free and had a flat tummy just days after delivery, due to well-developed muscles. What, however, is true indeed is that crunches are BAD for someone suffering from diastasis. The focus should be on plank positions etc. I have many friend who are athletes and mothers – some of three – and they all agree that their core muscles where of great benefit for their pregnancies, recovery and even pushing the baby out!

  • Friday, March 19, 2010 at 4:20 am

    Believe me when I say I know how you feel. There ARE things you can do to minimize the “damage”, so to speak.

    I used to have the “tummy jowls” too (even 1 whole year post partum). As I lost weight, I made a point of “dry brushing” (google it) my ENTIRE body every day, paying special attention to the mid-section. It’s taken me a year, and while I’m still wobbly, I DO NOT have the jowls anymore.

    Also, I did not diet, bit made a point of eating “good” foods. As little processed food as possible, lots of omega 3s and organic. The body can’t whip back into shape if it’s fed poison.

    My husband wants nr. 3 now too, and I just don’t know if I’m willing to put my body through that one more time. I don’t think our husbands know exactly what our bodies have to go through! They should only know!

    Good luck, and for what it’s worth, love your body at the very least because it’s the vehicle for you to be a woman, mother and beautiful person in general, flaws and all.

  • Friday, April 2, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    Looks like you have diastis recti and maybe a hernia. After I had my baby girl my belly stuck out like that as well, at first I thought it was the uterus that hadn;t contracted but it was there the muscles were blown. After my first child I was fine but the second one was bigger and I carried to 42 weeks – I had to have an EMCS as she was too big for my pelvis. I go to the gym a lot and as some said earlier, this actually makes a diastis more likely as your firm muscles split apart. Don’t feel too disheartened, the doctor I saw was very negative an told me that often the muscls will not go back as too damaged but I wasn;t having that and started doing pilates on the core muscles. If you lie on your back, put your fingers in you belly button and lift you head you can feel how apart your muscles are – any more that two finger tips and you have a diastis.I ca tell by your picture you have too. Anyway my muscles are back together and I have a flat stomach again (10 months on) so try pilates. You can lose the weight with exercise and healthy eating and if the muscles wont go back you could get a tuck, they graft the muscles back together and this will stop you getting back ache as well, good luck to you and be positive – you can change things and you have the blessing of being a mum

  • Saturday, April 3, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    Just wanted to say that I agree with all the comments here. You can definitely get back in shape again. The only thing I would add to what the others have said is get your husband to eat healthy and exercise with you. Do it as a team and use it as a bonding experience and motivation for each other. You said you ran track in college. Try slowly working you way back up to running again, if that’s something you enjoy, and take your girls with you in a jogging stroller. Have your husband come and it could be a great family bonding experience you can do often!

    Also don’t get discouraged if you don’t see the weight come off immediately. I know a girl who gained 90 lbs with her pregnancy and when she got really serious about eating healthy and exercising she lost all the weight but it took her two and half years to do it. So just be patient and make sure the changes in your diet and exercise habits are changes you can keep for a lifetime. Stay away from fad diets, do exercises you enjoy (whether that’s running, dancing, basketball, etc), DON’T starve yourself, and have a long term outlook because sometimes it just takes time to get back in shape. The mediterranean diet/heart healthy diet is one that I use and it isn’t too hard for me to stick to. Also have a free day or free meal once a week so you don’t get burned out. Best of luck to you. Hope this helps. Enjoy your girls!

  • Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 11:52 am

    My daughter’s name is Mackenzie Rose too lol. You look fine by the way :)

  • Monday, December 27, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    mis respetos yo tambien era modelo y despues de mi bebe de ahora 2 años ya no volvi a tener confiansa en mi misma me daba verguanza de que mi marido me viera desnuda no queria darle asco ahora he aprendido a valorarme y a quererme como soy ahora y estoy por mi segundo bebe a veces lloro yo sola por que me da miedo quedar peor de lo que estoy pero mi bebe lo vale todo

  • Friday, November 25, 2011 at 5:32 am

    That sounds terrible and I wouldn’t want to experience that horrific incident. She can always count on my prayers, and it’ll be soothing to know that she’s fine already.

    I for one believe that a strong will and determination can conquer anything, so get up, get going, and get back in shape! Anything is possible, as long as you continue to believe!

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