Postpartum

Loving My Mommy Body (Georgia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 10 Comments

Original entry here.

So here is my update, I am 12 days postpartum. I had my son on his due date which was really great! He weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces and was 20 inches long. I had a few hours of tough back labor then had the epidural. Best experience of my life. So like I said before, I gained 22 pounds. It stayed that way until the end, I was 180. Pre pregnancy weight was 158 and yesterday I weighed 160. So 2 pounds left to go! I breastfed for a week, but for many different reasons I decided to stop. He took to the bottle right away and things are going much better.

I love my body so far. My tummy is a little softer, and I did end up with stretch marks but they arent too bad. My husband said he loves my new body because it “It makes me a woman”. I love that. I dont mind my stretch marks at all. I earned them. and I would have taken more of them for my son.

Here’s some pics of me 12 days PP, and of my handsome little man.

Updated here and here.

Mom of 3 boys -1 set of twins (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo, Twins 23 Comments

I wanted to submit this picture as a way of affirming to myself that my body is fine and I don’t need to listen to what others think. I have been going through a difficult time with my husband (soon to be ex) and one of the things he told me as a reason for not wanting sex with me anymore was that he thought I needed to lose weight. I’ve never been stick thin but have been pretty happy with my body. Even after having 3 children, including a twin pregnancy, I was pleasantly surprised at how well I thought my body handled it. Then the one comment from my husband made me feel worthless and ugly. I found this website when I was pregnant with my twins and I always thought how wonderful it was that women were brave enough to share all of themselves. Women are beautiful no matter what shape, scar, stretch marks etc and I wanted to include myself in this mentality.

~Age: 35
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 3 births (1 set of twins)
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 yr old and 1 yr old twins

051710-anon-1

I Remember… (Mary)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Submissions 32 Comments

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth by c-section
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months

I remember being 4 and 5 years old and looking down at myself in the bathtub and thinking I was fat.
I remember being in 2nd grade and looking down at myself (in my too tight school uniform because we were too poor to get a new one) and feeling fat.
I remember being 10 and being the first one in my class to get boobs (and feeling fat.)
I remember being 13 and getting my 1st period (and new braces, and pimples, and a REALLY bad haircut) and feeling fat. I remember being in love with the cutest boy in class and finding out that he was in love with the skinniest and prettiest girl in class (and feeling fat.)
I remember being 14 and starting High School and not knowing anyone and hearing all the other girls talk about sex and cheerleading and how fat they all were (even though they really weren’t) and I thought, “wow if they think that they are fat then i must be REALLY fat”.
I remember being 15 and going to another High School and making only one friend who of course had curly red hair and sparkling smile and a great outgoing personality and all the boys loved her and didn’t even look at me me (and feeling fat.)
I remember the summer before i turned 16 when I was in love with another boy who toyed with me, and cheated on his girlfriend with me which i thought was his proof that he really wanted to be with me (and i let him kiss me and touch me because for the first time in my life my pants were falling off of me and i felt kinda pretty (even though i still kinda felt fat).
I remember being 16 and starting yet another new school and finding out from my doctor that the reason i was so skinny was because i was sick and they had to fix it and fixing it meant i would gain all that weight back which meant that i would be fat again (even though i never really felt skinny.)
I remember being at junior prom and looking up at my best friend and realizing i was in love with him and when he looked back i got nervous and paranoid and had to run to the bathroom to make sure that I still looked ok.
I remember being 17 and watching him date a tiny wisp of a girl instead of me.
I remember taking thyroid pills which made me go from 124 to 140 in less than 2 months and there was nothing i could do about it.
I remember starting college and not having time to eat right and just grabbing fast food whenever i could and gaining 15 lbs and being bigger than any of my friends.
I remember being proud of who i was and refused to diet bc I’d rather be fat and happy then thin and deprived (but i still felt fat.)
I remember starting a ballet class and looking around and seeing all the willowy waify girls with their slender backs and upper arms and long limbs and i was so short and squat with thick muscular legs and i thought “i’ll never be like that, why should i even bother to try” and i ate for comfort and gained even more weight and felt even more fat.
I remember summer came and i lost all the weight because there were too many other fun things to do besides eat and I went down to 143 and i thought i looked damn good and my pants started to fall off me again and my mother said i looked good but “5 more lbs and you’ll be perfect.”
I remember meeting a boy. A perfect boy (even though he plays too many video games and watches too many cartoons.) I remember falling in love with a new person for the first time since that not-so-fateful prom night back in junior year.
I remember having sex for the first time and being on top and praying that i wasn’t crushing him.
I remember him telling me he loved me and looking at me like i was the most beautiful person in the world.
I remember being terrified of getting pregnant and having to go on birth control.
I remember not realizing i was gaining weight until one day i couldn’t put my jeans on and i got on the scale and it said 161. I remember my mother telling me that i was starting to look like “a fat girl”.
I remember having to drive my boyfriend to live with his parents 60 miles away and not knowing if he was going to come back home eventually or if i had to go there just to be with him and i remember the long drive back without him and me crying all the way home and stopping at a McDonald’s in a service station and eating 2 double cheeseburgers and fries and super-sizing it then feeling too full and too fat.
I remember coming home to my grandma’s and she told me that she would help me do weight watchers and that ill probably loose all the weight really quickly.
I remember losing only 6 lbs.
I remember giving up because my doctor told me it would be really hard for me to lose the weight due to that f***ing birth control!
I remember the day my boyfriend proposed to me and my mom took pictures and when i saw them all i could think of was how fat my legs looked in my sundress.
I remember being ashamed because my fiance had a six pack and i didn’t.
I remember hating the fact that he was 35 lbs lighter than me.
I remember hating the fact that i wasn’t comfortable with him picking me up (even though he is strong and could do it easily.)
I remember moving in with my fiance and i was on my feet all day and
i remember how my feet hurt and when i told my mom, she said it was because i was too heavy.
I remember standing in my bathroom, straightening my hair and my calves started tingling and i told my doctor and she told me it was because i was too heavy.
I remember being at a funeral and my cousin told me “you have such a pretty face. It doesn’t matter that you’re a little overweight.”
I remember trying on a wedding dress and having it zip up on the first try and i didn’t have to struggle at all and i felt so happy.
I remember finding out that it was a size 14 and i felt so fat.
I remember looking in the mirror and thinking i looked really good because it covered so much of me up.
I remember my grandmother telling me i looked good (except for my back and arms.)
I remember wishing i had a prominent collarbone like the skinny bride-to-be in the next dressing room.
I remember my mother telling me that she would get that weight off of me “if she had to beat it off.”
I remember getting on my scale 2 weeks later and being shocked that it said 169.
(I remember thinking I was fat at 124.)
I remember looking at old pictures of myself and saying “wow, i wasn’t really fat at all.”
I remember getting married and wearing a corset underneath that squeezed me so tight i felt like i would faint.
I remember gaining and losing the same 15 lbs over and over again, never going below 160.
I remember getting pregnant.
I remember gaining 30 lbs in 30 weeks (which is pretty darn good) but then developing pre-eclampsia in the last week and gaining 15 lbs of so much water that i could press on my legs and the mark would stay.
I remember being 215 lbs on the night of my c-section. I remember not even being able to move (but barely since i was so high on magnesium.) I remember losing 30 lbs within 3 weeks and being so proud of myself, but then it stopped and i haven’t lost a thing since, even with the breastfeeding.
Now my son is 5 months old and I’m 20 lbs heavier than before i got pregnant. I look in my closet and see all the clothes i cant fit into anymore. I put on the only jeans i own that I can button and see my stretchmarked stomach hanging over the top of them. I cry as i pull on a pair of maternity pants. I hate dieting but i hate eating, looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. I cry to my husband that i feel fat. Where before he would tell me that I’m perfect and beautiful and he loves me so much and he doesn’t want to see me unhappy, now he tells me, “well, work out.”
i should celebrate my body. I carried a human being! I had a difficult delivery and we came out healthy and happy and whole. I should be proud of what i have done and it shouldn’t matter what I look like. and i will do it all over again (and maybe even again after that.)
I’ve never been able to get into a bikini and it seems like I’ll still never be able to.
so I should get used to it.
and celebrate my body!
with a piece of cake…
haha ok maybe not…

Struggling to accept this new body and dealing w/ hypothyroidism (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Thyroid Issues 8 Comments

Age: 29
Number of pregnancies: 2
Number of births: 1
Age of baby: 18 months

My story is a very familiar one. My baby was born 18 months ago via C-section due to “maternal exhaustion.” I was pushing for going on 3 hours when, after hours of nothing to eat or sleeping, I just couldn’t anymore. My scar has healed nicely but my beautiful son has given me this horrific belly pouch and back fat that I never had pre preg. I also developed hypothyroid after having him. I was breastfeeding and eating normally and just kept gaining weight. It is so frustrating and heartbreaking. I am a size 16 now and I was a size 12 pre preg so in reality, I don’t have much to go. Still trying to get my medication adjusted to the correct dosage. Discovering this website has been such a huge support for me. I know I am not alone in this struggle to accept my new body. I have a lot of people around me asking about my weight loss, how come I haven’t lost any, and do I plan on losing weight. I desperately want to but I have realized feeling healthy is the most important. I am starting a new gym regimen next week. If I maintain my current weight, I suppose I will be happy because it means I haven’t gained.

SOAM has given me such a sense of empowerment. Having my son is the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. Having the scar, belly pouch, and droopy breasts are a small price to pay for such a blessing. And my husband has been amazingly supportive and doesn’t seem to mind these new changes.

The photos were taken today.

Stretched, Marked, & Saggy at 18! (Kelsey)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 23 Comments

Hi, My Name is Kelsey.. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant.. This came as a big shock to my boyfriend and I. At The time we hadn’t been dating long, and we we’re just in high school after all! We decided to carry on with the pregnancy and Keep our son..Now named Noah.. He’s an almost 2 outgoing, amazing little guy!! We are married and have turned out to be quite successful. I am now almost 19 only don’t feel it.. My breasts are saggy and marked ( due to 1 year of breast feeding), I have a c-section scar, My sides, thighs and butt have been stretched and marked, and Overall I just don’t look like I Should! My self confidence has really been fading lately as summer comes and I see all the girls “my age” in there cute bikinis and short shorts, and this is when it really starts to hit me that I’m never going to look any different!! It’s starting to effect my relationship with my husband and just the way i interact with people in general.. I would love to get the self confidence back that i had when i was a young teenager.. I mean who wouldn’t ! I love my son to death, always have, always will.. I just hate the feeling of being so discusted when you look at yourself in the mirror.. I just don’t know where to turn????
I Found this website when my son was about 6 months old, and I am finally getting up the nerve to post my story.

AGE:18
NUMBER OF PREGNANCY’S: 1. Noah almost 2 years
NUMBER OF BIRTHS: 1

1st picture My son Noah
2nd picture Myself Pre-Pregnancy
3rd picture Scarred Breasts
4th picture Postpartum body
5th picture stretch marks

PS: I want to thank you for your site.. I find it very empowering to women to see this.. While it hasn’t quite hit me yet, i’m hoping this step will help. Thank you

Take 2 – Still haven’t accepted my new body! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo, Update 15 Comments

I originally posted here when I was 6 weeks post-partum!

I’m now 21 weeks postpartum and my feelings are still pretty simillar! I have better days than others, very rarely, but they do occur! I just can’t accept that this is the body that I have to live with for the rest of my life! I can’t even see the point in exercising, toning up etc, as the stretchmarks will never go, they’ll always be there! I find it totally incomprehensible how a mother can look at their stretchmarks and call them badges of honour, I really can’t! The way I see it is that my skin is now ugly and scarred! But then a good day I’ll look at myself and think I am a mum, a very proud mum at that and why should I be ashamed, I am the way I am because of my beautiful boy, but then I’ll look at myself and can’t believe that it’s me!

I’ve become so jealous of mothers who go back to looking normal and just ask why me? Why am I scarred and they’re not!! It’s such an awful outlook, I should feel good for them mothers who are fortunate enough to get their pre-pregnancy body back, but I can’t and jealousy is such an evil feeling and I don’t like myself for feeling that way.

I still don’t undress infront of my partner and our sex life has dwindled dramatically – 6 times since having our child to be exact! The first time I hated it and after my partner sensed something was wrong, he asked me and I cried!!! Not exactly a turn on is it??? My partner, as always, assures me I’m sexy, but what’s sexy about having sex with a top on….??? He’s my partner of 5 1/2 years, yet the thought of getting unchanged in front of him just scares me, as I’m scared he’ll think ‘what am I doing with her?’ and then I’ll be alone! But the thought of being alone doesn’t fill me with complete dread, as then I won’t have to get initimate with anybody!

I honestly don’t think my partner knows the full extent of how I feel, I’m sick of going on about how much I hate myself!!

I’m actually considering saving for a boob tube, as my breasts are so saggy and empty, they’re gross and just make me shudder whenever I catch a glimpse of them in the mirror!!

I just cannot see me ever changing my opinion of myself and don’t even get me started on bikini season! We’re not going away this year because I just don’t want to wear a bikini and expose myself for everyone to see, especially in daylight! I guess it’s tankinis and swimsuits for me now – which is something I associate with old women, but hey….

On the plus side my baby boy gets more beautiful and whenever he smiles at me it fills me with so much joy and despite the fact that I despise my saggy breasts, belly and bum, as well as the stretchmarks on the thighs, belly, bum and backs of my knees, I wouldn’t change him for the world, in fact I’d go through it a thousand times over just so I can have him with me!!

My pictures are –

front
back
side
belly
side of belly

All of the above is why I despise myself!

Updated here.

Update (vsmama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 17 Comments

Original entry here.

Hi! I have a goal to feel my sexiest before my son reaches three! And he does in a little over three weeks but I’m already in such a positive state of mind. I’m very confident and excited for my continuing progress. I have such a supportive partner who is putting all they have to help me reach my goals. I still eat as I please just in moderation. I’m not a dieter type, I love food too much to think of putting a restriction. =) I work out in my home 4 times a week for 30 mins. a day with just 3lb weights as my son plays with his toys. I am very happy with the results thus far and I’m beginning to be so proud of my mommy tummy!!! Thanks for everyone’s support!

pic 1: shirt on
pic 2: almost 3 yrs postpartum
pic 3: same
pic 4: same
pic 5: for fun, feeling a little sexier :)

Updated here.

This is me now! (Dadama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 5 Comments

I got married to the perfect man when i was 19 (young I know) soon after I got pregnant . my son was 6 months when I started working and he spend a lot of hours in a daycare luckily my husband got a better job and I stopped working when my son was almost 4 (I regret not spending all those years with my son , but I needed to work no questions ask ) Then when he turned 5 he was excited to start school… in March 2007 I miss my period and I knew I was pregnant again without trying!! lol I wanted to have only one kid and now I was pregnant and scare because my son didn’t want a baby brother or sister… my second son was born in november 2007 in april 2008 I find out I was pregnant again!!!!
OMG I cried so much I was on the pill how could this happen? I didn’t want more kids!! but I understood that God had a purpose with me and now He had a purpose with my baby… Mathew was born december 2008…
Now my babies are growing so fast that I miss them already it seems like it was yesterday when I got home with Mathew He is 16 months old now and a very active toddler and even when is not easy having two kids close in age my oldest helps a lot! He is a Proud big brother.
And about my body ugh .. I have my breast cover in stretch marks I have extra skin in my lower tummy and some days I wakeup ok with it and some others I don’t like it at all …
First pregnancy went from 98 pounds to 150 lost the weight in about one year
second pregnancy 100 to 149 lost some weight but since I was pregnant I couldn’t lose it all
third pregnancy… day of birth 160 pounds , today 110

~Your Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3/3
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 8,2,1, 16 months pp

6 years after…I still feel a bit unconfident (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

Age: 36
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 (sons)
Age of my children: 12 1/2 , almost 11 and 6

As you can read above I´m a mother of three. I received my first child at the age of 23, the second one at 25 and the little one when I was 30 years old.
My life is undergoing many changes at the moment ´cause my husband and I are going to separate.
For the last 14 years he was the only one to see my body with all the changes due to the three pregnancies.
Now…I´m starting a new life…and may be some day I´ll have a new partner …
and as you possibly can imagine I´m quite a little bit unconfident if someone else will love me…and the way I look…as a mother of three.
I´m quite satisfied with my weight. I´m a bit too skinny but I try my best to gain a few pounds.
I love my tummy …there are no stretchmarks and I think after 3 pregnancies it really looks fantastic…
what really makes me feel a bit insecure showing my body to someone new are my breasts, the way they look now.
They are so small …I really had nice breasts, well-shaped…a German C-Cup and now it´s only B…
and if I bend over they really look saggy and so empty…I hate that.
As long as I´m standing or sitting and do not move too much they look quite okay…but only then.
I thougt about plastical surgery…but I fear the health risks and wonder if I could live with fake breasts…it probably would feel different…kind of foreign body.
so…I think I have to learn to love them the way they look now…
and I hope I´ll find a new partner who loves me just the way I am and the way my body looks…´cause I think every woman wants to be admired by someone…

Loving Myself (Tarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Spousal/Partner Abuse, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

I am 31
3 wonderful daughters!

I had my first child when I was 19. Always overweight and insecure with myself, my first pregnancy did not help. I gained quite a bit more weight. The father of my child would abuse me regularly. Never leaving bruises on the outside, just on my heart. I was in labor over 24 hours with her. A C-section was performed and they realized her cord was around her neck twice. If I had pushed I would have killed her. Scarred and alone I raised her for 2 years with only the help of my family. I rushed into a marriage when she was 2, convinced that no one would love a fat 21 yr old single mom. I then got pregant with my second daughter. More wieght gain, more unhappiness. Another C-section, compounding the scarring. It was a lonely time for me compounded by the fact that both my father and grandmother died suddenly. Feeling utterly alone and worthless, divorced with 2 children by 2 different men, I fell into a horrible depression. Then I met my current husband. He never hesitated to tell me I was beautiful, that my girls are beautiful. He loves me no matter what I weigh or how bad my body is scarred. I got pregnant again with my third daughter. Again, more weight, worse stretch marks. My husband never once said a negative word about my body. He is the first man I ever let touch my belly who wasn’t a doctor. At first it was strange, never in all my life had a man ever held me and loved me and my big stretch mark covered belly. He would rub my belly and talk to our daughter, sing to her sometimes even. When she was born had no choice but to have another C-section. I was lucky enough to have the same doctor for all three deliveries. He told me that I will never have a flat bikini belly. I should just give up, and realize I will always want to cover it. When I gave birth to my last child I weighed over 200 lbs. I hated my body no matter how much my husband said I was beautiful. Now my youngest is almost 2, and I have taken charge of my body. I’m not ashamed of my belly or my scars. I made a promise to myself to take care of my body better. I now have lost 45 lbs. which is good, but I have lost the mentality that my worth is measured by my “beauty”. I love myself now, and love my husband more for never making me feel bad about myself. I am lucky enough to be in a community of people who love me for me, not my body. Who cherish the stretch marks and celebrate women in all forms! Thank you to my wonderful extended family!! Thank you for this site to show others what a mother’s body really looks like! Mostly though, thank you to my wonderful husband, for loving me and my body no matter what!!