Postpartum

Mom of 4 Awesome Kids (Felicia)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

Hi. My name is Felicia and Im a 34 year old mom of 4 awesome kids. I’ve been pregnant 5 times but lost one baby at 14 weeks. My kids are 15,13,10 and 7 years old. I got married when I was 18 and had my oldest daughter exactly 1 year later. I made it thru 8 months of pregnancy before the stretch marks showed up. My breasts were a small B before pregnancy with her and after they were HUGE. I dont think my body knew what it was doing because my DD no longer fit after my milk came in. After I had her, I lost all the weight within 6 weeks. But that was too fast, so I was left with severely deflated breasts and sagging skin and stretch marks everywhere. (belly, thighs, breasts, legs etc) With my other pregnancies, nothing got worse, so to say, until I had my first boy. He ended up being an emergency c-section. They did a “bikini cut” but that still goes from hip to hip. It took about a year to tighten the skin that flopped over my scar. My second boy was a planned section but came a month early so he too became an emergency. They cut in basically the same spot. I was 120lbs when I got pregnant for him and by delivery I was 182. He was not a small baby. Even at a full month early, he weighed 8lbs and was 21 1/2 inches long. No wonder I was so big! Anyway, after my section I had a HUGE flop of skin that hung way down low over my scar. I hoped Id be able to tighten it up but 7 years later its still here and not going anywhere. My breasts are totally flat and small, my skin is wrinkled and marked. Im not comfortable in my own skin.
Im not with my kid’s fathers(my girls are from my first marriage and boys are from a horrible 7 year relationship thats not worth mentioning). My current husband and I have no kids together because I had my tubes tied after my last son. My husband always made me feel wanted. Always told me I was beautiful and sexy. I was never comfortable enough with myself to be totally nude in front of him. I dont feel attractive at all. Recently, I found out that he’d been looking at pics of nude women online. The perfect ones that are like 20 with no marks and everything in its place and that made me feel even worse. I literally hate myself at this point. I was online searching self esteem issues and things like “I hate my body” and “stretch marks” and I found this site and I was drawn to it right away. To see there are others who struggle with post baby bodies like I do, gave me some comfort. But it hurts too because I was reading stories and looking at pics and I never once saw anything that was unattractive. You’re all beautiful. I just wish I could get over my own issues and see myself like I see the rest of you. Im including some pics. I cant believe Im doing this. Thank you for reading my story.

Feeling good after years of working hard on body and soul. (Marie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 3 Comments

My name is Marie. I am 31 years old. I’ve had 3 children Via Csection. I bounced back pretty well after each, except my hideous scar. My pregnancies all happened within 5 years so I didn’t have too much time in between. I had no stretch marks before the births but plenty after. I had big beautiful breasts before and after breastfeeding each, the longest 15 months, they have lost a bit of “bounce”. I had a hard time mourning the loss of my youthful body, but after 2 years pp with my last baby I have really come to a good place. I have practiced a lot of body love through art. I take nude photographs of my body and then I turn them into beautiful artistic renditions of their originals. It forces me to look at my body transform and find appreciation. I work hard at the gym 3 times a week and I eat healthy. I practice positive self talk and touch my belly and breasts often, with gratitude. It’s been hard and it took putting in a lot of work, but I feel like

I have a come a long way.. slowly but surely I am loving my body again! Thank you for this beautiful website! Appreciation for who we are, what we are; strong beautiful mothers is so needed in this world! Keep it going.

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Win Some, Lose Some (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

Nobody ever told me what to expect after pregnancy…it really isn’t a topic that is discussed socially or in the media. In fact, if it were even commonly heard of, I have a feeling a lot of young women would do everything in their power to keep their ‘bikini bodies’ in tact.

I found out I was pregnant when I was 19, I had my daughter shortly after I turned 20. She has been the biggest blessing in my life, but I always look at my body and it brings back a woosh of emotion. Mainly sadness.

I was always a very attractive and desirable girl… flawless skin, size 1, flat tummy, & a good heart. I was never vain. The only body issues I had every had was I felt my breasts were too small, since early on in high school I’d stuck with a size 34B. I weighed 115 lbs. pre-pregnancy, one year after birth I now weigh 120. It’s an extra 5 pounds that are here to stay. After my pregnancy, I had attained a few stretch marks that were silver the whole time, I did not realize I had them until after I gave birth, it was very disappointing to discover that I did have them when I thought I had made it threw with none. My boyfriend kept reminding me throughout my pregnancy that if I did get stretch marks, he would not be attracted to me sexually anymore. I feel that his cruel, thoughtless remarks are the reason that I held postpartum depression for so long. Many other flaws that probably nobody else would even notice: my belly ring hole had stretched out, I have a pouch and a crease that makes me appear as though I had had a c-section even though I delivered vaginally, my weight redistributed [I now have size C breasts which solved my breast insecurities; they are not as perky as they once were, but that doesn’t bother me], but along with that came wide hips & a lot of loose skin which makes it extremely difficult to find a pair of jeans or a shirt that fits me just right that flatters. Along with my new breasts, I gained a big booty after my pregnancy. And I like it!

Amongst many negatives and few positives, my metabolism slowed down dramatically making me prone to weight gain, which I am struggling with at the moment. It’s been extremely difficult for me to adjust from having a fast metabolism, eating what I want, when I want, to having to count every single calorie and carb to keep myself at a steady 120.
I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I also can’t help but look at my appearance so critically. I am not who I used to be… no longer desired and flawless. So hard when all that men are programmed to appreciate is outer beauty and us women like to judge and compete for perfect figures. I have a beautiful and smart baby girl, and it seems so selfish to be worried about my appearance. My head tells me to knock it off & stop worrying about what others see because nobody is as critical to you as yourself. People say you come to terms with the changes, but I don’t think you do, you just learn to live with it because that is all you can do.

Fourth Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 29 Comments

Hi,

I’m a 25 year old, 5 foot 4, 10 stone 11 pounds mom of 3 beautiful children. I had 4 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage. They are 5, 2 and six months old. They were all delivered vaginally. First two children were bottle fed and third is breastfed.

Breastfeeding is making it really hard to loose weight as my body is holding onto the fat as a store my doctor and nutritionist thinks! but I will continue to breastfeed until I return to work as I feel it’s the best nutrition for my baby.

I now hate my body. I recently found out that my fiancé was masterbating to online porn. This is due to a lack of sexual intercourse as I suffered from a prolapse during pregnancy, haemorrhaged 12 days post delivery and had a d&c due to retained placenta. I was also diagnosed with benign tumours in my womb after this ordeal too. So It made me feel super unsexy! Which lead to a sex famine of four times in 9 months!!!! I was devastated that he felt he had to do that and now I’m making more of an effort to have sexual intercourse.

I was a size 6/8 before children and now a 10/12 with droopy boobs and big arms and thighs! Were getting married next July and I really need to get in shape for myself, if not anyone else.

Letting Go of Judgement (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum 2 Comments

My daughter turned one a few weeks ago. I went back to the submission I made to this site when she was just two weeks old. It brought back a lot of happy emotions to recall my little newborn and how she came into this world, but it also conjured up a lot of negative emotions.

I felt ashamed. I read the text, and the more I read the more it reeked of self-righteousness, like I knew all the answers. Arrogance.

It’s amazing how much can change in one year. One year. Twelve months.

I’ve learned to let go of a few of things. A lot of judgement. I still judge, but I like to think that it’s a lot less than it used to be. I’ll give you some examples.

I used to think that people who opted for disposables were lazy and hurting the environment. Guess what? I’ve used disposables.

I used to think poorly of parents if I saw them out with their baby late at night. “Why, surely that baby needs to be in bed,” I used to say to myself. Funny how easy it is to judge parents when you’ve never had a baby yourself…

I used to look down on women who didn’t breastfeed, like they were intentionally not giving the best to their babies, but then I realized that, first of all, it’s none of my business, and second of all, all moms out there are trying their best. Do I wish there were more initiatives to educate pregnant women on the benefits of breastfeeding and help new mothers breastfeed? Sure. But do I think everyone is like me and adores breastfeeding? No (and this is something I had to learn).

I’m beginning to realize that judging people only perpetuates criticism and arrogance.

Now that my daughter is past one year and still breastfeeding, I’ve begun to receive criticism from people around me. Suggestive words. Harsh looks. “You’re still breastfeeding?!” they ask. “Even during the DAY?!” they prod.

It’s not that I’ve stopped caring about things. I’m simply “letting go” of a few things. You want to judge me? Go ahead, that’s your prerogative. But I’m not going to reciprocate those negative feelings. I’m not going to waste my energy, my time, thinking badly about you and making assumptions about your life when I could be playing or snuggling with my daughter.

Thank you, Bonnie, for creating this site. It’s a great resource and I love reading people’s stories.

And just for fun, here’s a picture of my stretch-marked belly one-year postpartum. I’m sort of indifferent to my stretch marks now, whereas before I was upset to look in the mirror and see them.

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Is There Any Hope For Me? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Legs, Postpartum, Submissions 15 Comments

Age : 24
Number of pregnancies : 1
Child’s age : 3 months old

I am a first time mom.
I do not know anything about pregnancy as I am far away from my family.
I was depressed the whole time and I felt so lonely.
From 120 pounds I went to a whooping 193 pounds.
I am 3 months post partum and now 154 pounds.
I’ve got tons of stretch marks on my hips.
I said to myself it was ok because they will surely fade in time and I thought it was normal. However, weeks after childbirth I have noticed so many on my legs. On top of my thighs, back of my thighs, right inner thigh, back of my knees, and both calves.
I am devastated and I feel so hopeless. I cannot sleep and eat well.
I have been on Google for remedies and such because I really do not have knowledge about it. I just thought that it would only be on the tummy area. And you’ll only get them if you scratch. Luckily, I found this site. Its a relief to realize that I am not alone with this but still I feel so hopeless.
I am very happy with my baby but it hurts to look at myself. I feel so wrecked and damaged.
Do I still have any hopes?
Will I ever be able to wear shorts or dresses in time?
I have so many things on my mind to say here but I am so down because of what happened to my once flawless legs.
Thank you for reading my submission.

I Feel So Wide and Disgusting (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

I’am 19 years old, I have two children ages 3 & 3 months both by natural vaginal births. My first (my son) was born when i was just 15 years old. Prior to my first pregnancy i was 160 pounds, it was a decent weight for my height which is 5’11”. On October 31st my son was born 5 weeks premature weighing 6lbs 15 1/2oz & i weighed 236lbs… By the time I became pregnant with my second child (my daughter) i had only lost a total of 16lbs (220lb) from my first pregnancy. To me this was horrible because i knew with pregnancy comes more weight. My daughter was born two weeks early weighing 7lbs 15.7oz & i was weighing 263lbs. My children are so beautiful & i’am forever grateful for them but i’am just so disgusted about what my body looks like.

I Love Being a Mum! (Alice)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 14 Comments

30, one pregnancy and birth via Cesarean

I love my post-partum body. I basically look the same, with slightly bigger boobs and softer-rounder belly, with extra belly skin that I did not have before. My body is the constant reminder of the precious life I created, and for that, I am eternally thankful.

I used a belly binder almost 24/7 post-partum for about 4 weeks, I think that helped me get back in shape.

I delivered my baby via Cesarean after a 20 hour labour, I was lucky to be in minimum pain afterwards, I had a very speedy recovery.

Photos: before baby, 40 weeks, 6 days post-partum, 8 days post-partum, 2 weeks post-partum, 2 months postpartum

Update (Elizabeth)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean (Vertical), Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I’d like to add on or submit a new story for your site. I already have an entry here.
Since then, I have had one more baby. She was born via-emergency cesarean and I now have a vertical scar. Willow’s birth story is featured here. I have attached the most recent picture of my new belly.

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Frumpy and Angry! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Spousal/Partner Abuse, Submissions 2 Comments

Im 22 and have a 3 year old daughter… she wasn’t at all planned.. but my ex wasn’t a very nice person either, I do not regret her she I my world! See this relationship was horrible I was like a possession not a equal human being, I was treat like dirt hit and often made to do sexual things I did not want to.. I never had money to spend on my self such as new clothes or a hair cut..not even a chocolate bar!! As all my money went on his habbit..I suffered from severe depression before I fell pregnant I hated the world I hated myself.. I hated people that I thought should automatically know something was going on..but how can someone know when you put on a fake smile and hide the pain and suffering… Any how. I used to be a fit and healthy looking woman, but since having my daughter doctors have told me im in the “overweight” side of things..I hate hate hate my stomach. .I constantly cover it up even in the bath.. it didn’t help when my ex would state how ugly and manky I looked and how I should cover up! Even though I split up with him over 2 years ago he still mamages to make me hate myslef..im with the perfect man I’ve been with him for nearly 2 years he’s beautiful to me and always tells me im beautiful. .I still well up inside.. I’ve never been vein and never would be.. I find it so hard to think that I am “ok” or “pretty”… I think im also scared of messing things up in “being a mum” I love my daughter deeply I don’t know what I would do if she was taken from me! Im not the most feminit looking woman but I do want to feel pretty! I love getting my rockabilly look on for certain occasions I love feeling pretty..but on most days I feel hideous and depressed. .I don’t know wether this is because of what I went through for 5 years feeling worthless and inadequate but I do!… I guess what I trully want is to be able to love my self or atleast have some self-esteem and confidence!!

I also want to know..if anyone has gone a diet and felt any better after there goals?!