Im 22 and have a 3 year old daughter… she wasn’t at all planned.. but my ex wasn’t a very nice person either, I do not regret her she I my world! See this relationship was horrible I was like a possession not a equal human being, I was treat like dirt hit and often made to do sexual things I did not want to.. I never had money to spend on my self such as new clothes or a hair cut..not even a chocolate bar!! As all my money went on his habbit..I suffered from severe depression before I fell pregnant I hated the world I hated myself.. I hated people that I thought should automatically know something was going on..but how can someone know when you put on a fake smile and hide the pain and suffering… Any how. I used to be a fit and healthy looking woman, but since having my daughter doctors have told me im in the “overweight” side of things..I hate hate hate my stomach. .I constantly cover it up even in the bath.. it didn’t help when my ex would state how ugly and manky I looked and how I should cover up! Even though I split up with him over 2 years ago he still mamages to make me hate myslef..im with the perfect man I’ve been with him for nearly 2 years he’s beautiful to me and always tells me im beautiful. .I still well up inside.. I’ve never been vein and never would be.. I find it so hard to think that I am “ok” or “pretty”… I think im also scared of messing things up in “being a mum” I love my daughter deeply I don’t know what I would do if she was taken from me! Im not the most feminit looking woman but I do want to feel pretty! I love getting my rockabilly look on for certain occasions I love feeling pretty..but on most days I feel hideous and depressed. .I don’t know wether this is because of what I went through for 5 years feeling worthless and inadequate but I do!… I guess what I trully want is to be able to love my self or atleast have some self-esteem and confidence!!
I also want to know..if anyone has gone a diet and felt any better after there goals?!
2 thoughts on “Frumpy and Angry! (Anonymous)”
Hi there sweetie. I’m so sorry to hear about the abuse you endured from your ex. It sounds like he really made you believe that you were worthless. You are NOT worthless. It may be worth getting some counselling so that you can move on from that destructive relationship. Sometimes when I am feeling down about my own body, I remind myself “how would I want my daughter to look and feel about HER body?” because the answer is always “I’d want her to love, accept, and appreciate her body just the way it is”. Easier said than done, but we are the ones to teach our daughters about self love and healthy body image.
As for diets, they really are quick fixes, and temporary fixes. The best way to improve your health and to reach your best weight and shape is to adopt a healthy lifestyle that you can keep up long term. There is no miracle diet or pill that is actually all that healthy, so start by ADDING in healthy, whole foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, fresh smoothies and juices. You will find that adding in those things will begin to crowd out refined sugars and high fat foods more and more. It’s not about depriving yourself, it’s about bringing in more healthy, clean, and whole foods until you aren’t hungry enough to eat the unhealthy things. Also, start out with some light exercise. No need to over do it. Take your daughter to the park and really get involved in the play there, or swimming. When you have time to yourself, do some jumping jacks, crunches, push ups, whatever you can. If you even just devote five minutes a day to doing some exercise, it’s a good start! It helps you to ease exercise into your daily schedule and make it a habit.
Best of luck to you. I’m happy that you found a man that finds you beautiful and treats you well. You have a long journey ahead of you, but from one mom to another, you CAN do this and you are worth it too! Lots of love!
Sounds really simular to my situation.. cept im still with the bastard.