Postpartum

Things do get better – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 2 Comments

Age-25
Name-Megan
1 pregnancy
25 months postpartum

When I took these postpartum photos six weeks after I had my son, I told myself that I was still beautiful, that my body had just accomplished a huge feat and that my stretch marks were a reminder of the amazing thing my body had done by bringing my son into the world…and all of those things are true! But I truly felt down about my body. I was not used to having a big, squishy belly. And the stretch marks were so purple! And all over my stomach!

But time passed and now my son is two years old. Two wonderful, life altering, challenging, joyful years. And the stretch marks have faded! They’re still there of course , and they always will be, but now they’re just white lines and not even noticeable in pictures. Losing the weight didn’t take much. I eat healthy about 80% of the time, I eat reasonable portion sizes, and I exercise about three days a week.

Now I’m gearing up for a second pregnancy and the rollercoaster will start all over again but I couldn’t be more excited because I know that my body is capable of creating and sustaining life and also capable of repairing itself.

Pictures: 6 weeks PP, 25 months PP, my son, age 2.

My Body and the Lies (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PUPPP Rash, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

number of pregnancies and births: 1 (boy)
age:18
7 months post partum

I gave birth to a handsome and precious baby boy. He was 7 lbs and 9 oz. Right now he is 7 months old and i now know how it feels to have my heart living outside of my body. Im with him 24/7 and even though im exhausted at the end of the day, i adore every moment. The things im ddevastated about are my body and the fact that now im the typical teen mom you know? I’m 18 now but i had him at 17. I was 16 and pregnant and boy, did i suffer from nausea, vomiting, fainting, fatigue, puppp (a rash), etc. I never thought i’d be the one to get pregnant. At 14 i was in an early college taking college classes and doing high school at the same time. I just knew i was gonna be somebody. My whole family seems to have turned out succesful. There are doctors, engineers, journalists, teachers, etc. When i was barely 14 i met the man that i fell in love with and it might sound crazy and insane, but it happens. We were in a long distance for 2 years and now we are going on 4 years of being together! we have gone through hell because the long distance was so hard to deal with and no one understood that. I feel like people who go through long distance dont get enough credit. we’ve been through great and horrible times. He is a great man and I still get butterflies in my stomach when i hear him coming up the steps after a long day of work. Hes a hard worker, a great daddy and a loving future husband. But i still somehow feel like i am not enough sometimes. I was 100lbs before having our first baby with a flat tummy and overall happy. i never had to watch what i ate. Now evrrything has changed. I feel disgusting when I see my stomach and it is sad because that part of my body is what once held my son. I did an amazing thing in this world and im complaining about my body? I just feel so horribly sad when I feel so insecure and i feel like my boyfriend will eventually get bored of my body and want someone else who’s beautiful. When i was smaller i was in a Vogue magazine and sometimes id love to try to get into modeling, but then i remember how my body looks and id probably get laughed at if i went to an audition. Even though i get told all the time that im beautiful and that i look like a doll, i dont feel attractive. I am generally happy with my face and parts of my body, but then all of a sudden BAM! I get these sudden thoughts about how disgusting i feel and sometimes how fat I look. I have good days and bad days. A lot of the time i try to lie to myself that its not that bad although i know that for me, it is. I had my son in august, so since it was extremely hot, i lost weight super fast after having him. right before i had him i weighed 140 lbs! And now i am 120. But since im short i feel like it just looks like too much. Sometimes i still look pregnant and i still wear a gyrtle. When my boyfriend and I get intimate, i feel like he shouldnt look at me and i just want to hide. I want to look as sexy and beautiful as i can for him but i feel like a huge failure. Im 18 and i already Have a belly full of stretch marks and wrinkles? I feel like maybe he just acts like he loves it because he doesnt want to hurt me. The weird part that my head will not understand and sometimes the frustration makes me cry, is that he is always all over me telling me how good i look and how much he wants me, but i feel like anyone who really saw how i look will say it looks gross. My mom, sister, aunt, and mother in law all made a grossed out face when they saw my tummy after the baby. So how can my boyfriend say it looks good to him and how can he want me like he does? Anyone in their right mind would say it looks bad! When we go out somewhere and a beautiful girl walks by, my heart burns and turns into coal because i just know sometimes he might desire a girl like that. He might compare and thats what scares me. I feel so small when i see someone who looks great and they look confident and i just dont. I dont know what to do. I know working out will help, but i know i wont get a flat tummy unless i get surgery or something because my muscles are so far apart. Im actually content with my legs and stuff so if i work out, i might lose weight everywhere else, get more stretch marks, and at the end still have a hanging stomach. What do i do? I dont know, because there are bigger things to worry about but this knaws at me Every. Single. Day.

Triplet Belly Update (Kathryn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Triplets, Update 3 Comments

One of the most popular stories here at SOAM was Kathryn’s, in which she shared photos of her triplet belly at all stages. We have become friends on Facebook over the years and recently she posted this picture. With her permission I’m sharing it here along with some of the details she wrote about it. Love this, mama. Thank you for being a voice in our community. <3 kathrynfacebook

Because I was laughing at my side abs, I thought I’d share. Most, if not all, of you have seen the last belly pic from 3 months after the babies. This is 8 1/2 years later! I’ll eventually get my muscles repaired and the extra skin taken off, but I’m pleased for now.

The diastasis did not fix itself, despite doing the proper exercises, the wraps, etc…, but it usually doesn’t cause me much pain. Just really makes me look a couple months pregnant and prevents me from doing things like planks or crunches (not that I would willingly anyway…) The excess skin also, obviously, did not shrink. That is more annoying, mainly because I can get it caught in a zipper if I’m not paying attention. It gets really itchy when I’m hot and I’ve gotten a minor yeast infection in that skin before, but it’s not as bad as some women’s and I don’t have reoccuring or chronic skin issues due to the excess. Getting it fixed is really purely a vanity thing for me. It won’t change my daily life if I never do. I just always wear long non-sheer tanks or shirts because I don’t like it to be seen.

When/if I ever get it repaired, I will likely do breast implants at the same time, again for vanity. I had really big boobs before my 5th and they’re really not big, at all, now. Totally normal, of course, and it won’t bother me if I never do it. But I figure if they’re going to be cutting, might as well, lol. Just because of the super high cost of a non-covered diastasis repair and tummy tuck (around $8000, last I checked), it will be a long time yet. Probably another 10 years or so.

Also, the muscle separation and excess skin have added several inches to my waistline. Not a big deal, of course, just goes along with it. I’m at my triplet pre-pregnancy weight, but wearing 2-4 sizes bigger only because of my waist.

Whenever people go “I can’t believe you ever carried triplets! You’re so tiny!”, I always want to lift up my shirt and show them my belly, lol

Motivation (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 19 Comments

Hello beautiful mommys! I found this site because I wanted to find ladies just like me. Mother’s who went through a lot physically and mentally. Woman whose bodies changed. I’m really just here to inspire some of you mama’s out there. Give you a little bit of motivation, encouragement. Here is my story. I am 21 years old and have 2 baby girls. The oldest is 2 and the youngest is 5 months. I have always been a very fit and athletic gal but during both my pregnancies I haven’t worked out or did anythjng. Tho I gained about 30 lbs e ch pregnancy my stomach has been stretched to the max and back 2 times!!! I was always self conscious about my stretch marks and body after my babies but i knew I wanted to do something about it instead of complain and weep about it. I started a new diet and workout regimen for myself and I absolutely feel better and sexier. I realized I can have stretch marks but i would rather be in shape and proud of my mommy belly. My belly was home for my girls and I wouldnt Change that for the world. I worked my ass off and hard work pays off! Though I am yet where I want to be I am proud how far I got. And I know if you open up your heart and mind you can do anything you want. Anything is ever so possible and you will become the happy healthy proud mommy for you and your kids. Just never give up hope and never settle for less ;) every mama is beautiful and the human body is truely an incredible thing. It really will amaze you on what the body can accomplish and do! If I can do it so can you just takes time, practice and patience. Whats your excuse? :)

The difference between two and one- having a singleton after twins! (Lindsay)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins, VBAC 2 Comments

My first pregnancy, with twins, was scary. At 18 weeks, doctors suspected the possibility of TTTS (Twin-to-twin Transfusion Syndrome). I was put on a strict bed rest, and was only able to leave the house for twice-weekly ultrasounds. Long story short, Baby A’s diastolic blood flow ended up reversing at 31 weeks which resulted in an emergency c-section, 2 and 3 lb babies, a 2 month NICU stay, multiple surgeries, and a roller coaster of emotions.

Despite the hardships we faced with preemies, my c-section experience was not bad. In fact, I thought it was relatively easy. Of course, the recovery was slow, but I certainly did not have a traumatic surgery experience. I had thought if I ever had another baby, that I would definitely opt for another section. But, when I became pregnant again with baby #3, the idea of a VBAC was something that I began to consider. This was likely the last time I would ever be pregnant- I would hate to regret not experiencing labor and delivery the “normal” way. So, I made the decision to attempt a VBAC.

This pregnancy was smooth. Oh, what a difference there was between a twin pregnancy and a singleton pregnancy! I felt great, exercised regularly and ate healthy. Baby measured perfect at every appointment and I easily made it full term. It was a dream pregnancy, really! I was worried about how labor might go- I had never felt a contraction with my twin pregnancy since they were delivered so prematurely. But, people told me I would “know” when it was time. And, boy, did I ever! I labored at home for a few hours and finally decided it was time to go in. When I got there, I was shocked to hear that I was fully dilated! It was time to break my water and push! That also meant there was no time for an epidural. Wait… what?! I had certainly planned on getting one! I immediately thought I couldn’t handle it and the thought of just opting for the c-section crossed my mind briefly. But the pain was so intense, I couldn’t even care. My husband, mom, sisters and mother-in-law were at my side. My doctor arrived shortly after, broke my water, and I began to push.

I wish I could tell you that the rest of the story was calm and relaxed; that I simply listened to my body and gently delivered a beautiful baby. But… that wasn’t quite the case! My experience was beautiful… but it wasn’t calm. There is really no way to describe it. It was the most intense thing I have ever gone through. I may have used some colorful language and called my doctor a liar when she told me I was doing good. I may have even begged to stop and go home a few times. But, an hour and a half of pushing later, our baby girl was born. The memory of the pain just a few short minutes before completely disappeared. I had done it. I not only achieved a VBAC, but I did it completely unmedicated and naturally. I didn’t even have so much of an IV. I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful, full-term baby. I was in love and in awe. I was proud and empowered. Giving birth is a truly amazing experience.

Today, my shape might not be what it once was. My stomach isn’t quite as flat, and traces of the deep stretch marks I once had still linger. But, I LOVE my shape. I love what my body was able to create, the pain it was able to endure, and the miracles it produced. While those miracles may have been what was responsible for stretching my body as far as it could go, it is also responsible for getting it to the shape it is now. Yes, I have three children. Yes, I have stretch marks. Yes, I exercise daily. Yes, health and fitness is a priority to me. And that is FOR my children, not BECAUSE of them. I don’t care what the number on the scale says- I just want to be here, healthy and active, running around the playground, coaching softball teams, playing tag, cuddling, carrying, and loving my babies for a long, long time to come!

~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 years old and 5 months old (5 months postpartum)

Young Mum of 2 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breech Baby, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 1 Comment

Age 24
Children aged 2 & 4
Both c-section

I met my husband at 19, yes I was young but the way I see it is that way I get to spend even more of my life with him, I’m lucky. I fell pregnant within 5 months of being together and we were extremely happy.

My first pregnancy: I had plenty of problems during first pregnancy, lots of heavy bleeding and then found out when I was a week overdue that our daughter was breech. Luckily when I went into labour the drs rushed me in for an emergency c-section and she was born, a healthy 9lb baby!

The complications continued and when my scar didn’t heal properly I ended up with a hole in my tummy for over 11 weeks after the Birth. Now considering I had put on a mighty 4 stone during pregnancy this didn’t help as I couldn’t exercise to shift the weight. I ate poorly and I believe this is where my issues with my body really began.

I know I’m not alone when I say that looking at your body after having a baby is just horrific at first. I have stretch marks on nearly every part of my body. Excess skin on my tummy which I now live with everyday. And I’m not saying I would change it because obviously my children are the most important thing in my life. However it’s a daily battle looking in the mirror.

Going back to my pregnancies. After 18 months I fell pregnant again accidentally and it terrified me that my body would change yet again!

I managed to keep my weight gain down to 2 and a half stone this time and kept active and ate healthy.

All went well and I had another beautiful little girl, by emergency c section again.

This was when I really stepped it up a gear. Exercising so much that I had no energy. Hardly eating so that my weight plummeted.

I wasn’t happy with how my body now looked and nothing was helping. Exercise and lack of eating was making me even more miserable but when everyone says ‘wow you have lost all your baby weight so fast’ it was like a massive compliment every time and it spurred me on.

I was about 10lbs underweight and looked awful. I can say that now because I can see it but at the time I just fixated on getting my pre baby body back. I know now this is just impossible.

In the last 6 months I’ve tried to eat more and although I still exercise a lot I am aiming to be strong for my children. Both mentally and physically.

Everyday we are surrounded by images, slogans, articles, celebrities promoting ‘skinnyness’ and it’s just so damaging.

It was damaging for me and I just don’t want my daughters growing up thinking there is only one way to be beautiful and it’s by being skinny.

I still struggle everyday as I’m sure every mum does. I now try and look in the mirror and focus on something I like. It’s hard. And not everyday it works. But I do it.

I know I won’t be alone. I just hope that one day I will find a comfortability in my post baby body.

022515-anon-1

Terrible self image, despite healing well. 1st baby. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

1 child, 5 months PP

I am 23 and gave birth to my gorgeous baby girl 5 months ago. I love her more than life itself but have struggled with the effect on my body- softer stomach and saggier boobs :( I was lucky to only get very small stretchmarks underneath my belly button and they are now barely noticeable. My baby girls delivery was natural and the pregnancy was fine although I developed antenatal depression in my 3rd trimester and spent most of the pregnancy worrying excessively about my babies health. I didnt really gain much weight during the pregnancy, I went up a dress size and seemed to retain alot of water, the excess weight seemed to drop off post birth however I feel my posture is utterly horrendous from looking after a baby and carrying one for 9 months and despite recovering well body wise my self image is in tatters, I feel fat and ugly all the time even when done up (this never occured before) and my face has been ravaged by sleep deprivation- I have that ‘mumsy’ look now that tbh I always hated. My boobs seem to have shrunk even though I only breastfed for a few weeks. I feel guilty even feeling bad about myself post birth as many women have it a lot worse than me.. It doesnt help that sometimes my vagina feels ‘numb’ during sex aswell! Nightmare. I enjoy dancing and exercise and am hoping to incorporate it more in order to feel like ‘me’ again and maybe tone up a bit, I am just always so tired and busy these days! I am in a bit of a rush here anyway but just thought I’d post my story. Hugs to everyone going through similar feelings :)

Pics:
1. me when I had the time and energy to put make up on- and a good nights sleep! age 21
2. me age 22 26 weeks pregnant with my baby :)
3. me pre baby age 21
4. 5 months post partum- wouldnt even show my knackered face now!

Single Mom, FML (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 7 Comments

22y/o FTM of 5month old

Well I just need to vent, get it out before I go completely off the deep end. I lay here next to my son and in some ways I want to die. I want to scream and hit and throw things and I want to finally break down and give up. I am so sick of fighting but I have to. I can’t let my son grow up with unhealthy habits, so I have to put a damn smile on and pretend that I don’t hate everything I see when I look in the mirror. I have to pretend that I never think what if I hadn’t had my son. Because I would always do it the same for him but I dream, and remember the body I desperately miss. The face that I never liked sneers at me as I look at my deflated ness. I took a nude but couldn’t look at it, let alone let anyone else. I’m a single mother who can never again date 1) I worry about the effects on my son 2*) who would want me? At least anyone who wasn’t a dog themselves? Call me shallow, because I am. I couldn’t ever undress for that dream man if he came along, let alone let him near my bomb zone. My son is only 5months but I myself won’t go near that wrecked place again. I look at my son and thank God but I beg him to let me look human again. I love being a mom but I hate looking like one. Not the best pics but you can still see (I’m conceited) I went from awesome curves (can’t see it but rippling toneness. Rippling!) to flappy baggy saggy ew look at that mom.

Young but no longer youthful. (Brianna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

Pregnancies: 1
( 7 months pp)
Height: 5’3 Weight: 134

I had just turned 18 and graduated high school in 2013 when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified to give birth because it was one of my biggest fears in life ( yay I did it! Lol) but nothing scared me more than knowing my body was never going to be the same, I was already insecure so as if I needed any more of it. I knew what pregnancy was going to come with. Stretch marks on the parts of your body that you want to show off the most , no more pink hershy kiss nipples that my boyfriend liked so much, and no more smooth skin to rub against while making love. The part that tortured my mind even more was realizing I was young and didn’t even have the chance to appreciate my body while I could. I couldn’t wait to pop out my son and I work off all the weight I gained during my pregnancy. I was so determined to come back 10 times sexier lol (i gained 33 pounds) Well I gave birth on June 5th 2014 to a healthy 6 pound baby boy and the moment I came home I looked at myself naked. Who even knows what I thought at that point. All I remember is that I was like whoa! What happened to you lol
My body was all of a sudden an obvious billboard sign advertising these stretch marks and saggy boobs and dark nipples. I was horrified. I definitely wasn’t buying it. Who could ever love me? Right? Now I could never be naked during sex and feel sexy. Sure I could do it but would i enjoy it? (No. Way!) My pregnancy was normal, no difficulties, same with birth. I was thankful for that. But now I was left feeling gross and unattractive. So I started to workout and lost most of the weight. Thank God for my boyfriend of almost 3 years ( yes, my baby’s daddy ) who is always encouraging me and telling me that Hollywood is just stupid for making girls feel like they need to look perfect. I have really been dealing with my insecurities, especially now. I am only 19 and I sometimes feel brought down when I see other girls my age able to work a belly button ring or a crop top. I hate that this world makes you think postpartum bodies cant be sexy and people just act like they dont know its normal. But this is me letting go because of all you ladies and this website. I am excited to be a part of this. You all are beautiful no matter what! Let the project live on!