First Pregnancy

My Journey to Motherhood (Amelia’s Momma)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

19
1 pregnancy 1 birth
4 1/2 months

Motherhood has changed me in so many ways, I start my journey as a young carefree 18 year old kid, and end as a mature young woman. I met my baby’s father when I was eighteen years old. I thought he was cute but of course love was the last thing on my mind I just wanted to have fun and the feeling was mutal with him. My life was perfect or so i thought I was working at the local grocery store had my own car, own apartment. But I was eighteen and ready to party, me and the father got along great every were we went, everybody talked about how great we were as a couple, how well we complimented each other. But we had a big addiction to partying and partying we did, and as we all know partying leads to trouble lots of trouble. There’s a darker side to partying the one nobody talks about, we were basically drinking every night and nibbling with perscription drugs and maryjuana. Now, we werent crackheads are anything like that but it could have lead to that. As a result my job sufferd and my school work, I started not showing up for work coming in late, being disrespectful to customers, ect. As you can geuss i was shortley fired and was not admitted to the nursing program. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant, im not gonna lie to you the first thought thought that popped in to my head was “I can fix this” , I’ll just get an abortion. The father was admittedly against abortion and then reality struck i was pregnant this is a human being not just some kidney stone that can be removed. For the first week i just cried and cried i was in total shock and disbelif, how could this happen, i honestly thought I couldent get pregnant. I just thought other pregnant not me, boy was I wrong. Anyways my parents found out and they were shocked but very supportive which is a relief because I couldnt have done it without. I spent the majority of my pregnancy dreading the fact about how my life was over. I hated how big i was getting i cried my eyes out when I swall the dreaded stretch marks appear ALL over my body, i went from 136 pounds to a whooping 178 pounds. Looking back i should have spent my pregnancy being overjoyed at the miracle that was growing inside me but at the time i was not aware of how much love that miracle could bring. Little to say the pregnacy took a toll on our realtionship I was constantly crying and depressed i hated being pregnant I just kept telling myself once the baby gets here everything will get better. Despite the rough pregnancy me and the father fell in love and i can honstley say he is my soul mate and, there is no one else i would rather spend my life with. I started going into labor at 3 o’clock in the morining but I had no ideal what labor felt like. I remeber calling the nursing and telling her that i thought I had a UTI but the pain got worse about every ten minutes lol. Anyways, I called my mom and she was like I think your in labor hunny, So i called the baby’s father at work and told him he really didnt thinks I was in labor so he didnt bring the hospital bag. At 10:05 that night my angel was born, that was honesltly the happiest moment of my life. Me and the father had no ideal what we were getting ourselfs into, high on adrenaline, we naively instructed all the nurse’s to keep the baby in the room. As a result we got no sleep the whole time at the hospital. When I arrived home reality struck i was confused this thing i had carried around for nine monthes was a baby, and know so depended on me for everything. On top of all that I was trying to breastfreed long story short that only lasred about two weeks. The first month home was rough there was a lot off family conflict, and a lot of people trying to tell us what to do. Through it all we leaned on each other for support and stayed strong and we have a beautiful little girl to show for it. Today I am a much stronger person I lost all the wieght and pretty much look the same with a little bit of extra skin and stretch marks, but im okay with it because they represent my journey to womenhood. Without the stretch marks and extra skin i wouldent have been able to bring God’s most precious gift into this world. There is no greater gift then being a mother, and i would do it all a million times over, all the sleepless nights the wieght gain, depression, realtionship issues, stretch marks, to have my little girl. Sometimes i think women spend to much time looking at what they have lost and not what they have gained. Just think what if my body wasent able to bear a child, what if i never got the oppurtunity to meet my child, do you think you would be worried about the exess skin and stretch marks?. Just remeber that God has choosen you to be bleesed with the gift of motherhood.

It looks like a frowny face (Kerry)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 9 Comments

Previous submissions here and here.

Age: 19
First pregnancy/birth: 1 year pp

Thats what my 5 year old nephew says about my belly button. It bothered me immensely the first time he said it, then the more I thought of it a little chuckle escaped.. how many people can say it looks like their button is frowning? That short sentence pretty much sums up my whole postpartum journey thus far; denial, anger, mortification, acceptance, appreciation, and enjoyment! If you asked me a year ago if I ever thought I’d enjoy my body again I’d have given you a very quick and convincing, “NO!” I was very depressed about my body, I compared myself with every single female I saw, childless or mother; and in my eyes they all looked better than me. Every time someone complimented me or told me I was looking great I was sure they were lying, there’s no way I could look great.

Over this past year I have changed a lot, but its more my attitude than my body. My breasts are shrunken and saggy, yet I cherish the memories they give me.. my son kneading and tugging on them as he nurses and in those moments I’m the only thing in the world he cares about. The right side of my belly has far more stretchmarks than the left, and every time I look down I remember having his back pushed up tight on that side of me for the entire pregnancy. The stretchmarks from the top of my breasts to my calves remind me how strong my body is and I marvel in the fact that I was privileged enough to grow another human being inside me and it never ceases to amaze me how a body can morph to accommodate that baby. I don’t think my body is better or worse than any other mom out there, we each have our own stories and our bodies illustrate that individuality. What fun would it be if we all fit the same mold??

I finally started working out around the new year, before that I had felt hopeless. It’s helped boost my confidence, energy and moods so much! I’ve lost 55 of the 60lbs I gained during my pregnancy so far. I hope to lose 5 or so more and continue to get in better shape. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate this site for helping me see what really matters, I firmly believe I would still loathe my body had I not found SOAM.

Picture 1: 1 yr pp full body shot
Picture 2: 1 yr pp close up of the “frowny face” button and strechmarks
Picture 3: 1 yr pp side
Pitcure 4: Levi 1 yr old!

Updated here.

Trouble Accepting My New Body (Aarica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 2 Comments

Age~ 23
Pregnancy/births ~ 1 Pregnancy,1 birth
Postpartum- 7 months

I had just started dating my little guys dad six months before we found out we were expecting. It was a great moment for me and I’m sure him as well.
Before I met his dad I was in a long term relationship for 5 years with a different man and had planned on marrying him and having children with him, but it just never worked, I met Landon’s dad when I was working with him and we started dating. Everything about our first six months went fast, we moved in together a month after we started dating, six months later we found out we were having a baby.

The pregnancy was so easy we had nothing but good news the whole time, we decided we didn’t want to find out the sex and waited. It was hard for me I really wanted to know.
We went to every checkup and they all went well,I did start having some trouble with my sciatic nerve and I leaked a little of my fluid(nothing to worry about). Everything was perfect and I was so in love with the dad and baby. My parents and doctor were worried about after the baby if I could handle it emotionally because I have Bipolar, but had learned to cope with it and was even medication free for over 3 years so I wasn’t worried, but they were trying to look out for me you know parents.

I was nearing the end of my pregnancy and I was stating to get excited, I had my Birth Plan ready and the OB loved it and wanted to follow the plan as best he could, which made us so happy. My due date was Monday, July 13th, 2009 and when that was a week away the OB decided to book an ultra sound for Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 just in case I was late and I was. So when the 15th can I was so excited to see the baby at least that way so I could be sure everything was ok. The OB wanted to see the position of the baby so he could make a plan for that.

The night before the Ultra sound I seemed to have to pee a lot, but since I was over due I figured that was normal, but I was wrong it turns out my water broke and was leaking slowly and only when I had the urge to pee. The doctor sent me to the hospital and said by tomorrow you will meet the baby and we were so excited until we got there and they hooked me up to the monitor and I was in full labour and didn’t even feel the contractions I was told they were bad. I thought it was ok maybe it wouldn’t hurt like everyone said it would. They also noticed that everything wasn’t ok with the baby every contraction made the heart rate drop so they moved me to a room and said the doctor will be in, in just a min, he got there and did an internal and I had not dilated even one cm. Turns out my hips were fused together (reason I couldn’t feel anything) so he wanted a c-section(not what I wanted) but we did one and Landon was born at 8:58pm just in time to still share the same b-day as my brother.

They took him and finished with me. I met him almost 2 hours later and he was so cute and big 8 14.

But the next morning they said he had jaundice and need the NICU he was there for 3 days and had a feeding tube, so I had to pump and go to the NICU every 3 hours do they could force feed him 50 ml. nothing was going the way we planned, we finally left the hospital 5 days after he was born.

I hate my new body I was never tiny or skinny, but this is as big as I have ever been. Strange part is I only gained 15 pounds while pregnant. Now I sag everywhere and and the scar i know will fade but until then I don’t like looking in the mirror.

Pictures:

Black shirt 10 weeks pregnant, Dress and phone 40 weeks pregnant, front view of 7months pp, 2 scar views and side view all 7 months pp

My Body After Baby (Tessa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 8 Comments

I became pregnant and the age of 19 years old. Before I was pregnant, I was quite thin. I always had body image insecurities either way. Looking back at those photos, I find myself asking how I could have ever been displeased with my body pre-pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant, I was 128 lbs. By the day of my induction, I was 198 lbs. Throughout my third trimester of my pregnancy, I often got asked if I was having twins. No, just one baby. One very large baby. My baby was born at 9 lbs 13 oz via cesarean section.

Although I was large, I was told numerous times that because I chose to exclusively breastfeed my child, that the weight would come off faster. Much to my dismay, the opposite was true. I was only able to breastfeed for a few months before my baby boy went on a nursing strike. I then exclusively pumped breastmilk until my baby was 6.5 months old. After I weaned myself from the pump, and thanks to the warmer weather and more walking, I finally started to get comments that I looked thinner. It wasn’t until I quit breastfeeding that I was able to lose weight. Right now I am at 160.5 lbs, 7 months post-partum. I’m running some, doing some ab workouts, but only when I can squeeze it in around taking care of my son.

But still, those comments about me looking thinner are made when my body is hid by clothing. My stretch marks cover my entire stomach, hips, thighs, and calves. My stomach doesn’t pouch out as much, but instead it went south. I have plenty of loose skin. To top it off, I have the c-section overhang.

Getting used to my new body is hard at times. I do truly really struggle sometimes. I don’t love my son any less; he was absolutely worth every stretch mark, every lb, and all the extra loose skin. I was so hopeful that because I was tiny before, that I’d loose the weight quickly. I was so hopeful that breastfeeding would help me lose the weight quickly, as everyone promised. But it didn’t. And although I still plan to exercise and try to be healthy, I know I need to learn to be comfortable with my body, knowing it looks the way it does know because it created my child. I’m not there yet, but I do have some good days. I may not be young and “hot”, but I am beautiful and my body is amazing for the sole reason that it created, housed, and gave birth to life.

I’m attaching an 8 weeks photo, 40 weeks pregnant photo,two 6 weeks post-partum photos(white sports bra), a few 7 months PP photos(pink bra and shorts), and a photo of the wonderful little life that is the reason for these photos

Updated here and here.

You don’t realize what you have, until it’s gone.. so old but so true (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Back, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

Age : 21
Number of Pregnancies : 1
Births : 1
Time Since giving birth : almost 11 months

I have been with my husband for over four years now. I got pregnant while we were still dating in 2009 when I was 20, and we got married shortly me after giving birth. Before I got pregnant, I was about 135lbs. I was 115-118 in high school but since graduation in 2006, I had slowly been putting on the pounds. So before I was even pregnant I needed to lose about 15 lbs. I had an awesome pregnancy. No issues besides having gestational diabetes. My son was 3 weeks early and weighed 6lbs 14oz, just shy of 7lbs. Not bad for a 3 week early baby.

Now I love my son more than I could ever describe in words or actions, but I do wish we would have waitied to have kids. Only for selfish reasons though. I didnt like my body before I was pregnant and now I hate it even more and would do anything to have my pre-preg. body back. I had such a smooth stomach. I just wish I would have appreciated my body more when I was skinnier and stretch-mark-less.

Anyways, I gained about 30lbs during my pregnancy. I got up to about 168lbs. Since having my son, I dropped 20 lbs easy, within the first 2-3 weeks. I have not been able to lose the extra 15lbs on top of that, PLUS the 15lbs i wanted to lose before I got pregnant. I have been stuck at 148 for the past 10 months…. Recently I got serious about dieting and exercising so i dropped about 8 lbs. Im now 140. 20 more lbs to go for my goal weight. It’s hard to do right now because I am still nursing and I have to eat to maintain my milk supply. I am one of the unlucky ones who hasn’t lost weight while breastfeeding, if anything, Ive gained here and there.

So I’m at 140 and counting. I got stretch marks everywhere you can imagine. boobs, belly, butt, thighs, back… ugh. You name it. I hate them. BUT I wouldnt change it for the world if it meant i didnt have my son. I want to be back at my pre-preg weight soo bad. I am trying and I will update with pics as I continue to lose weight (fingers crossed). Also, my boobs are huge. went from a small 34C to a 38DD… slowly getting back into a D. but I def. have saggy boobies for sure. I am just thick all over. I want to lose my love handles and my back fat and my leg fat. just an all over trim pretty much. 20 more lbs to go.

First pic is about a year before I got pregnant. So I was smaller in this pic than i was when I got pregnant.
Other pics are different views of me at 140lbs 10.5months post baby.

7 weeks postpartum…7 pounds to go (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

23 years old, first birth and first pregnancy
baby is now 7 weeks old

When I first found out I was pregnant I never thought of the impact a pregnancy could have on my body. I just could not imagine that I would have stretch marks and spider veins at my age…my mom has those not me! Well now I know that the reason why she has those is exactly because she is a mom. Well being a mom did change my body, I gained almost 40 pounds during my pregnancy, got a few stretch marks on my hips and spider veins on my legs.

Throughout my pregnancy I did not consider having a c-section, baby was head down, average size, nothing let me to consider that option but baby had other plans and I ended up having an emergency c-section. I didn’t want to have one really, I had been told that losing weight was harder after a c-section and so was the recovery but when the time came I just wanted my baby out.

I was very lucky and lost most of my weight very quickly and had a fairly fast recovery without any complications.

Not considering that my body might be changed forever during my pregnancy left me pretty shocked after the birth of my son when I first looked in the mirror. My breasts are unrecognizable and so is my belly. I only have 7 pounds left to be back to my pre baby weight but my clothes are 2 sizes bigger. I now have the body of a mother and I must learn to live with it.

NOW I must start working hard to get my body back to an attractive state (attractive to ME not to my husband). I don’t know how much work it will take but I am willing to work hard.

Updated here.

My Story With Lily – Update (Marissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 3 Comments

Original entry here.

I have lost 76 pounds, 10 more to go. im right now a 140 lbs, but the new pics are when i was a 144 lbs. I have finally started my period and the weight is coming off quickly. Plus, i eat right and jog. so its been helping alot. i hope i end up in my pre pregnancy weight of 130 by summer. I hate my stretch marks still, they attacked everywhere and i see they only faded, but are still highly noticable. Also, i lost alot ofhel weight in my breast and thats bumming me out, i hate for them to sag. But im slowly loving my body, its difficult but im accepting it. I just want to feel sexy again i suppose. But the pictures of me in the red underwear was from about 4 months ago, and the one with the white/pinkish was taken about a a couple of weeks ago. Im still hoping to drop these last ten pounds! but i guess im fooling myself, in my mind i think that if i lose the last pounds, my stretch marks will disappear, my boobs would perk up and my flab will be flat again. but i just want to feel good in my own skin again. Im not sucking in with either picture. but thank you for reading! I love this supporting site. =]

I’m done doing nothing when I could work at being at my best! (vsmama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

Hi! I am a 27 year old mother to a beautiful 2.5 year old boy! I’ve been with my husband since I was 19
and we only found out we were pregnant 2 months short of me turning 25. I never had to exercise and always wore ‘sexy’ but classy outfits. I was about 144 lbs and 5’4″wearing a size 5-6. I was very active and loved my midsection, always showing my midriff!! lol Then when I got pregnant I was very happy and had a fairly smooth pregnancy. I didn’t start having stretch marks till about my 8th month along and reached 198 lbs at the day of my inducement, giving birth to a 8lb 11oz 21inches baby boy :)

I dropped to about 160 not long after delivery and was still able to fit into all my pre-preg clothes with exception to the baby pooch. The combination of the labor (24 hours and 30 min push!!) and having such a big pregnancy belly, I still up to this day am suffering from back pain (I’m unable to bathe my son so daddy has to do it) and pains on the left side of my body. I would wear out pretty quickly and with on demand breastfeeding I was way too exhausted to even bother with working out. Not too long after I put on excess weight which just exacerbated my body pains. I pretty much just gave up on myself.

I still don’t know how much I weight because I can’t bear to…I don’t even go shopping like I used to…I’ve resorted to sweat pants and hoodies to cover the bulges and my bigger thighs. Then one night I just was sick of feeling stuck in this body so I then found this site after trying to search for other women who were in my situation. I’ve read almost all the stories on this site and have found such renewed respect for my body. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that my body made my beautiful son but I think I needed more motivation to RESTORE my body to its best:) I am so inspired by everyone on this site and have soo much respect for each one of your bravery and confidence. I truly believe you all are beautiful!!! I have started just recently exercising and am feeling great about myself!! I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m
confident I will be! Because of all the photos on this site, I have showed my husband finally in 2.5 years my body!! Just today!!!

That’s such a big step for me because I don’t even like to look at it myself..I just feel that with this site I have that support even with just you all sharing your stories. So thank you!!! I haven’t the courage YET to weigh myself but I will update my photos again as I progress further towards my goal:)

First photo is before pregnancy w/ the flat tummy
Second photo is a month pp still small legs but w baby pooch
Third photo is my weight gain..(keep in mind I was wearing a ‘slimming’ suit lol my weight continued to climb so I stopped taking photos after this)
Fourth photo Sept 09 2 yrs 4 months pp
Fifth photo December 2 yrs 6 month pp
sixth and seventh Feb 19 2010
eigth photo as of today March 2010
I’m excited for the changes to be seen with my new motivation to be fit but either way I have started to really love my body now mentally and emotionally so that’s helping a lot to keep me going :)

Age: 27
1 pregnancy 1 birth
2 and 1/2 years postpartum

Updated here and here.

Living For So Much (Natalia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 15 Comments

Age: 20
Pregnancies/births: 3 pregnancies/ 1 birth
Number of children: 1 son, Ronin, age 2

I found out I was pregnant when I was 17, which truly caught me by suprise. I know I wasn’t on birth control, but we used a condom every time. Could it be possible I was the 1% that the condom didn’t work for?? Lame right? Well to be honest, part of me was really excited to have a baby! I know I was young, but my heart and my mind said this was right. After making it through a kidney infection 10 weeks in, everything went smoothly and I was getting closer to my home water birth. During that time, I got stretch marks in ungodly places…places I thought to myself “you can really get them THERE??”. My breast size…went from a 32A to a 34DD. Crazy right? I actually got some tiger stripes on the back of my calves too! But the exstacy I felt when I was able to hold my son right after birth….washed away all those thoughts of my changing body. He diminished all my innercomplaints of the ever expanding butt and feet I thought of. He is 2 now, and I have to say, trying to bounce back was hard, and I’m not even fully where I dream of being. But quite frankly, I don’t give a darn. I say hurrah for mothers! Hurrah for tiger stripes! Together we stand, an army of life! The flabby skin, the not so tight areas…the dark nipples and sagging boobs…the dimpled buttcheeks and wider hips. This all just proclaims that we, yes we, have used what god gave us! I’m ready for more and more children. I know what lays ahead for my body, but that is the least of my concerns. I congradulate all mothers on this site. And I wish everyone the best of luck and love. Keep on skipping along mommies, and know that you have an army of us with you :-) Peace out

pic#1…..7 months preggo
pic#2…..3 weeks postpartum
pic#3……now
pic#4……now
pic#5……now

Updated here.

My 4th belly!! (Iraiosc)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Update 10 Comments

Hi again!! I wrote here twice before, you can see here and here.

I need to explain my feelings about what i’ve just did.

I’ve finally repaired my hernia and diastasis only 20 days ago!!
Family are contradicted, they wanted of course I get well quikly (sorry my mistakes please :) ) but I know they think about myself i’m egoist… dr. said that once you got repaired you can’t got more babies, so dangerous for myself… is our decission at least we think! A bit hard to still strong before with my strange belly and now with my new one…

Medically speaking I want to explain that everything seems to be ok for the moment, i feel a lot the mesh they put for the hernia and dr. says it’s normal the first months. The operation was sooo hard for me (3-4 hours: closing the abdomen, puting the mesh, repairing the skin and putting navel at correct place), but the recuperation for me wents a lot better than caesarean recuperation!!

But I still being a mother, a woman, a friend… doesn’t matter how i am if i feel good with myself, don’t you think? I needed this surgery! i hated to see my stomach moving (like baby movements on belly!!) when i have diastasis…

I loved the web, the people here write, and everyone comments: they are so lovely and respect everyone. Thank you for all i still recommend your web to new mummys than need this and everyone! Wish you all the best!! Kisses (besos!)

PD Now you can see my 4 bellys: 1.before being pregnant, 2.during pregnancy, 3.after baby and 4.after repair…
This time my pics show how i forget everything last summer and weared bikini and, of course, pics of repair, i still having adhesive tape on the scar.

~Age:
Now 28, i got baby at 26
~Number of pregnancies and births:
1 son of just 2 years old