First Pregnancy

I am 31, and I have two babies. The first one was born in August 2005, the second born in July 2007, so I’m 3 years pp since my last baby. I’ve been pregnant two more times, on top of that, but they both left my body before the 3 month mark.

Two years before having my first kid, I had a breast lift. I’d wanted one so badly for many years! As a teen, my breasts came overnight, and when they did, they weren’t the perky pair that I spied on my friends. They sagged, had stretchmarks, and worst of all, they weren’t team players. Meaning, they had each settled on their side of the body, never the twain shall meet. I called them my National Geographic Breasts, since they resembled something you’d see on a tribal woman from Papua New Guinea. It affected my self image, my self worth, and my sex life. Lights OFF please! Having them done gave me freedom, personal and sexual, and I wore clothes I’d previously never dreamed of wearing. Fun while it lasted!

After breastfeeding twice (totally possible, the surgery removed skin only, not touching mammary glands or nipples), my breasts are back to square one. Slightly better than before, the nipples at least point upwards now! My belly has taken a beating too. Soft, saggy, with a peekaboo bellybutton. My children love them though. We’re often naked at my house, when it’s just us. The kids love to come and press their faces into my soft belly, and carress my breasts, old friends that they are. I did have the belly jowls before, but for the past year I’ve insistantly dry brushed my skin every day, before showering, and that has really improved my belly. Jowls are gone, skin is softer, and the rippling surface looks smoother. I do suffer from some odd condition though. It’s like keratosis pilaris, but it’s right on my old stretchmarks. Not as severe as Pupps rash, but still not all that appetizing.

When the money comes along, I would like to have another breast lift. And a tummy tuck. I’m pretty sure I’m done having babies, but it’s a good idea to wait a few years to be totally sure before blowing that kind of money. I love my husband, and he loves me, but in the event that we ever split, and I find a new man one day, I don’t want to be weighed down by a body that is scarred from the pregnancies of a previous relationship. Like a lot of people on this website have commented, I feel like I’m living a double life. I’m beautiful and really sexy in the right dress. Downright irresistable if I do say so myself ;) But the dress and the expensive, ironlike bra comes off – and everything goes about a foot south! It feels like I’m false advertising!

Until then, I console myself by being otherwise happy and healthy. I have all my limbs, a beautiful face and a pretty good sense of style that camouflages most of my flaws. I try not to look at my body close up in the mirror, keeping a safe distance of about 10 ft. Arms up doesn’t hurt! I look pretty good at that distance! We should all have a sticker on the mirror that says: “Warning, object in mirror may appear worse than it really is!”

I had no idea pregnancy would do this to my body, but in retrospect, I remember being so excited about being pregnant, that I couldn’t wait for it to show. I think I over-ate on purpose, so the belly would hurry up and grow. At any rate, I gained about 20-25 kilos (50 lbs) with both pregnancies, and people always asked if I was carrying twins. Both my babies were pretty big, around 8-9 lbs, but they are healthy, beautiful, smart, funny and all that jazz, so not a drop of regret there! Part of this is learning to accept that I’m not a kid anymore, my body isn’t tight and elastic, but I’m still pretty hot, in my own way (aka clothed!).