First Pregnancy

Without my belly, I wouldn’t have hers. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 14 Comments

age-17
7 months pp

I posted on this site about two months ago. I have lost a little more weight since then, but all together I am feeling great. I was 93 pounds when I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter. 156 when I gave birth. I am now down to 128 pounds. Thanks to my amazing boyfriend I am starting to feel sexy again.

Last night I was getting my daughter dressed after her bath and while I was putting lotion her belly, it hit me how perfect her belly is. She has the softest skin and such an even skin tone. She is so beautiful. I looked at my own belly, how its sagged and stretched and the lighter skin tone of my stretch marks. But for once I did not care. It hit me that my daughter will always be beautiful. When she holds the shape of a baby, plump and soft, when she holds the shape of a young child, careless and free. When she holds the shape of a teen as shes finding her own self and is becoming a young lady. But most importantly she will be beautiful one day when she holds the shape of a mother if thats what she wishes. She will be just a beautiful with her belly round and stretched for the new life she is carrying. MY belly is BEAUTIFUL because I gave life to such an amazing baby. Without all my marks I would not have her perfect belly, that one day itself may carry the marks of motherhood.

Thanks to my daughter I am finally coming to terms with my weight gain. I am going on vacation and have decided to wear my BIKINI. Idc if I have a few extra pounds or stretch marks! I have a beautiful baby to show for them. I love my mommy body and I’m going to rock it ;) thanks to my new mind set, my relationship with my boyfriend has improved so much. I no longer think he is lying when he says I’m beautiful or when he tells me he loves my body. Motherhood is such a beautiful thing and I think we are all too hard on ourselves.

Updated here.

Not Myself Anymore (Morgan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

Age:18
No. Of Pregnancies and Births: 1
8 Months PP

No one realises how hard it is to be a mom. I’ve had so many friends say to me, “I want a baby so bad, you must be so happy!” But it’s not like that. I got pregnant to my ex after one week of being together. Even worse, we had only known each other for two weeks. I know it sounds bad, but I was in a bad stage and where I live, this is considered ‘normal’. Anyway, I got pregnant at 17 years old. When we found out, everyone was so happy. Mum, dad and especially the father. We thought we had our perfect family. I dropped out of my last year at school and moved to live 30 minutes away with my then boyfriend. We were only together three months when the problems started.

First of all, let me say that the dad isn’t a bad guy at all. Just young and confused. He struggled with losing his friends and social life more than I did. He started taking it out on me. He was never physical, but the emotional bruises stood out. My closest friend noticed how down I was but my family didn’t. He texted my friends flirting and compulsively lied to me. I felt wortless and out of control with sadness. I felt like there was no way out and I cried in the bathroom at nights. My iron levels dropped astronomically and I couldn’t do anything remotely difficult. I couldn’t sleep at night, was sensitive to light, got urine infections constantly and could barely move during the day. I was physically and emotionally drained and my ex and I became vile to each other. We screamed at each other and broke down constantly. He was overworked and I was shattered from all the problems. Most nights we only cuddled to feel comfort but neither of us were happy. It had to end.

I went in to labour with my son on his due date of 30th of May, 2010. He was born naturally…an amazing birth, 7lb 10oz on 1st June 2010. My 18th birthday was the 16th June. My ex and I had the most amazing, peacefully beautiful first two weeks with our son, but after that…back to normal. When he was one month old, I left his dad and moved back to my home town. I set up a new life for myself, even though deep down I wanted back my family with Bubba and his dad. It’s been 7 months since I left and 4 months ago I started going out with someone I knew from school. I was so happy. He made me comfortable to be myself. He says he doesn’t care what I look like. But it was when I looked around me at all the people I used to be best friends with that I saw how much I changed. One of my old friends told me I was fat and disgusting.

Before my son, I weighed 45kg (99pounds) and was a size 7 (NZ sizes) in shoes and 5ft 3. Now I am still 5ft 3. But I gained 25 kg (55pounds) and went up a shoe size and I hate myself. I also discovered I have depression. It made sense, since I can’t sleep at nights and NOTHING makes me happy. I feel as if the experience I had with my ex and being isolated caused this as I have not been happy since before my pregnancy. Also I feel like i’ve lost myself in a adult world before I was ready to be one. I realise now that most people dont learn they aren’t ready unless they are forced into parenthood.

The night my friend said that, I looked in the mirror and realised I even thought I was ugly. I had been hiding from myself but now it all came to light. The fat thighs, flabby stomach, fat arms and stretch marks were bad enough, but they could be hidden. It was my face I cried about most. It had completely changed and was fat and scarred. I feel as if I am disgusting, I look in the mirror and don’t even see myself anymore. Every part of me has changed, everything. I want to love who I am, but I cant. I feel like i’m dreaming that i’m someone else but it’s more like a never-ending nightmare. I want to change but I can barely afford to live so I cant afford gyms or 3 decent meals a day or anything like that. But I’m trying to cope. Slowly working things out.

The only good thing I have truly and forever is my beautiful boy, who amazes me everyday with how much he learns. He clapped today for the first time. Soon he will crawl. Watching him grow makes me so much happier. He is my only light and I would’ve given in to my sadness if not for him.

Thank You

Update (Kat)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Original entry here.

I switched up my workout (flirty girl and carmen electra got too easy) so now I’m doing hip hop abs. Once I’m done with the 4 week plan for that, I’m going to start p90x.

I have started doing modeling jobs(I have a model mayhem account now! under the user girl08er). I am so excited! I have wanted to model for years now! My stretch marks are still fading pretty fast. I have been using celtrixa on them twice a day. I think I may be using olay wrinkle cream soon as well, to help tighten the skin back up.

My husband got a job recently that pays amazing, so I can finish up with my degree and focus on starting my sociology and modeling/dancing careers.

My son has gotten huge! At 3 months old he is wearing 6-9 months. He’s 95% in height still, and 75% in weight. He is sitting up on his own, crawling everywhere, and is starting to mimic the syllables in the words me and his daddy say to him. He’s such a little talker! And he’s starting to try and do the work out moves with me as he watches from the couch! I see an athlete in our future!

The pictures:
first 3- my progress so far
4th- my son’s sweet smile
5th- my son in what I call his “Jeff Bridges” outfit
6th-8th- pictures of me when I was pregnant(I realized that I had none on the first post for comparison)

I Hope to Someday Love My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

~Age: 16.
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months.

Like most teen girls, I obsessed over the way my body looked. My stomach was never flat enough, and my boobs never seemed to be the shape of those in the movies and magazines. It was always a though in my head. If I had my time back I really would have appreciated my body type because I know now that there was absolutely nothing to worry about.

I got pregnant when I was pretty young, just 15. Fortunately I am blessed with an extremely supportive family who are behind me 100% in everything that I do. When I found out that I was pregnant I was confused beyond belief about what to do. Many questions ran through my mind, none of them having anything to do with the toll a pregnancy would have on my body. I decided to keep my baby, and I never looked back. My pregnancy was a fairly comfortable one, I had none of the symptoms I researched online and I was still fairly small. A few stretch marks made their way across my belly but it was not anything I couldn’t handle. By nine months I was still fitting into some of my pre-pregnancy shirts so I thought I would bounce back fine. I defiantly thought wrong. My angel came out weighing 9 lb 7 oz, and if you had seen me the day before labour you would have not believed she could of came out of me, she was so big and beautiful. My stomach immediately went flat and I went home in a pair of skinny jeans. I thought that I would be back to my 117 pounds in no time. Again, thought wrong. No matter what I do I just can seem to lose this extra jiggle. And it’s everywhere! I’m only 16 and when my friends come over to see the baby and me, I can’t help but look and be envious of their bodies. My baby girl was defiantly worth it but it still makes me sad. I know I’m only 4 months pp and there is still plenty of time for me to regain my shape but sometimes when I look in the mirror I just feel overwhelmed. I wish I would of loved my body before the pregnancy. And I wish even more that I could love my body AFTER the pregnancy! I’m sure someday I’ll learn to love myself, but I just hope that the day will hurry up. This site is such an inspiration. The stories of these women are truly amazing, and you all look beautiful!

First photo is 8 months pregnant
Second is 4 months pp

Ode to My Boobs (Miff)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

I was directed to this site by a friend of mine after I emailed this “Ode to my boobs” to my closest girlfriends who are also mothers. Before I was pregnant I was a 34 B or C, during my pregnancy I was a 34 DD, and once I started breastfeeding I got up to a 34 FF. Now I’ve weaned I’m down to a 34 A or B and somewhat horrified by what remains of my once perky breasts.
I am so excited to read the submissions and see your photos and share your thoughts and feelings that are so similar to my own! I’m not ready to share photos just yet, but I hope you can appreciate my Ode.
Thanks lovely ladies :)

Age 29, 1 pregnancy and birth, 16 months post partum (BF for 15 months).

You’ve served me well. You fed my baby without fuss for 15 months. You always had enough milk, and rarely embarrassed me by leaking in public. You never got so big that you hurt my back, yet you gave me cleavage I’d only seen in magazines before. You didn’t stretch my clothes too much. We only got sick (with mastitis-not really your fault) twice. You easily integrated into our life and into our hearts. My baby adored you and misses you everyday since you’ve left. My tops feel baggy and unnecessarily low cut without you. Now I am left with only a FF maternity bra and the saggy, flat pancake shadows of your former selves for memories.

Farewell big boobs, I hope we meet again someday.

Until then,
Mif xx

My Striped Tiger Body (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 24 Comments

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy and 1 birth

Im 21 years old and i feel as tho my body is completely ruined and ill never fit into my old clothes or be happy with my body again. Let me start by saying that i love my daughter with all my heart and soul. Im happy that she has entered my life. No regrets! My pregnancy was normal i had gain alot of extra weight i didnt need. I was 135 pounds pre pregnancy i gained 72 pounds which put me at 210 and now im at 164. Im struggling with my self esstem and my appearance. I guess im a little vain when it comes to myself. But i feel as tho i look horrible. Im married and have been with my husband for 7 years, married for one. I feel like ill never be good enough for him again. That im not beautiful and i can never wear feel comfortable naked around him again.

I had started exercising, because i felt so bad about myself. I did it for about 2 months and found no results and stopped at 172 then finally i started eating less and not excerising which got me down to 164 where i am yet again stuck. I feel like no matter how many crunches i do the little pouch from my c-section will never go away not only that but my stomach looks like a tiger gashed me all around. Ive even considered a tummy tuck and laser stretch mark removal but who has the money for that?

It’s just so hard seeing these other girls my age with babies who are back down to 100 pounds within a month or the moms who look like they didnt even have kids. Why couldnt that be me? What am i doing wrong?

I get so stressed about how i look but then i look at my daughter and think its all worth it. She lights my day. But sometimes its hard to get past the thought of horrible i look under my shirt. Im 21 this is suppose to be the best my body is suppose to look, and it doesn’t. I feel like i cant even be beautiful until i accepted the fact that im not going to be like the super models or the perfect girls on the beach ( i live in Florida where everyone has the perfect beach body). I just want to be happy with myself and my body and ever since i gave birth i have felts nothing about negative thoughts about myself. I think it also has a huge impact on my relationship. Im always putting myself down around him and when we are getting intimate all i can think about is how gross my stomach looks or how fat i am. Which completely ruins the mood..i just dont feel good enough..

So i decided to post on this site because it looks like maybe you guys can give me thoughts opinions and maybe help me get through this time in my life. Id like to feel good things about me.

Skinny, fat and somewhere in between! (Bex)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 20 Comments

I have always struggled with weight, going from Anorexia to Bulimia or having both at the same time. Since I can remember I have hated my body, it has completely consumed my life and thoughts, it’s always been the wrong shape, too fat, my legs too bulky and muscly, my arms too flabby and fat, my tummy not tight enough, not enough bones showing etc… 2009 I married my gorgeous husband and didn’t want to be fat so I went from being a healthy 127 pounds (58kgs) to being 100 pounds (46kgs) on our wedding day. I have always so badly wanted a family and so we started trying to conceive right after our wedding in Oct 09 and we fell pregnant in april 2010. I gained 17 pounds (8kgs) in the first 12 weeks and was devestated, I gained a total of 37 pounds (17kgs), I couldn’t fit anything and went into maternity clothes at like 12 weeks because normal clothes hurt and didn’t fit right. For the first time in my life, I had cellulite… As much as I wanted the baby and was excited about the future, I hated my body everyday but I chose to eat normally because the baby was more important than my own need to be skinny. I didn’t want to harm her in anyway just because I needed to be skinny….

My pregnancy went on without issues until near the end around 34 weeks when the midwife thought bubs was too small so I had to go get growth scans every 2 weeks, but she was just a little baby, still growing! At 40 weeks, I had a tiny 34-35 week looking belly (thank god) but to me my arse was huge and my thighs were like big fat tree trunks. I couldn’t understand why my husband still said I was gorgeous because all I could see was this huge whale. I was torn between loving just my baby bump and what it meant and hating the rest of my body for being so fat and gross… especially my face! I avoided photos because I hated looking at them after…

My darling girl was born on 03/01/2011 at 6lb 8oz (2.95kgs, no wonder I had a little belly) through a natural, drug free waterbirth! Right away I started thinking about losing the baby weight… But I have an issue with my stupid left hip where I can’t walk properly and it really hurts! So I haven’t been able to exercsise which is killing me!!! I have lost half of the baby weight I gained so far, so hoping once my hip heals I will be able to start exercising and get the rest of this baby off!! I want to continue breastfeeding so am going to really monitor myself and make sure I eat enough to maintain my milk supply which is going to be so hard and take a lot of work on my part. I just don’t want to fall back into my eating disorder because I DO NOT want to pass it on to my perfect and precious little girl! She is the most important thing to me and my husband and deserves the best in life… not a mum who is consumed by her weight. I don’t want her to ever feel like I do, so now is the time to start changing. To start loving my body and appreciating myself.

I have just given birth, something that is amazing and empowering… My body is a representation of that, of what I have done in giving birth. that is to be celebrated, not punished! It’s a long road ahead for me… but my girl is worth enough for me to take it head on…

1st photo: Me at around 49kgs in 2009 (lost another 3kgs in the 2 weeks following this photo)
2nd photo: 40 weeks pg
3rd photo: my belly 3 weeks postpartum

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy and 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: postpartum 3 weeks

8 Months Post C-Section (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

I LOVE this website,, and all you wonderful mothers out there! This is my third submission. I had my first child May 2010 via unplanned C section. A wonderful, beautiful, healthy little girl! She brings so much joy to all that she comes into contact with,, ready with a huge grin for everyone! She makes me smile on my worst day,, and overflow with happiness with each kiss and hug. I have to say that I am so proud of the lovely woman who created this place of support and refuge. And I think that we all deserve to be supported, encouraged and welcomed. I tried keeping up a little diary/photo album of post pregnancy progress on my Facebook,, but got soooo much flak and discouragement that I stopped. Please NO ONE take this wrong,, but it seems that if you actually feel good about yourself and have been working hard on being healthy and getting strong and in shape,, that that is to not be recognized. Only judged with harsh words. Thats why I am so thankful for you all on here! I am working on becoming a certified health and fitness trainer and now teach classes at a Studio. I feel like I could be an encouragement to a lot of women. I am going on 32 and had my first child by c section less than a year ago, and am back to pre pregnancy weight and feel so energized and strong and blessed.I just want those out there who may be feeling down,, hopeless and who are probably being way too hard on themselves,, to know,, that even if it takes different ways or lengths of time, that you CAN feel like, and be a healthy, fit, strong, sexy MOTHER! We are all shaped differently and have different beautiful traits (and wonderful “flaws”) that make us unique. I just feel like sometimes some women have this stigma in their head that they aren’t supposed to want to feel vibrant and sexy after they become a mom, and that is so not true! I want to encourage you all to take pride and joy in what your bodies have accomplished in motherhood and to realize its your ONLY body, to love it , nourish it, strengthen it and when the time and place are right ,, flaunt it a little!! :) Have fun with motherhood and with being a woman! GOD Bless you all!

Photos are :
1.36 weeks
2. Seeing my gal for the first time
3. the day before I went into labor,, gettin a kiss from hubby
4. My babies first Thanksgiving!
5. 6 months post partum
6. Hubby, lil brother, me and baby girl on Christmas!

The Name’s Ashley (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

im 21 years old
5 months post partum with my first child

when I found out I was pregnant I was so extremely happy. being only 21 I was really nervous at first but I had a lot of positive people around me, and my boyfriend is one of them. he was definitely more ready than I was, on august 10th I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. weighing 8lbs. 4 oz, and 19 1/2 inches long, I ended up having a c-section cuz my pelvis was too small. at the beginning of my pregnancy I used bio oil regularly thinking it would stop me from getting stretch marks, obviously it didn’t. I have the worst wrinkled, saggy, stretched out skin. I try to stay positive becuz I got something so beautiful out of it, but I cant seem to constantly look in the mirror, and get upset. I cant help but think my boyfriend will leave me for someone with a better shape, I used to be so confident weighing 130 before I got pregnant I loved my body and my stomach, and I didn’t mind showing it off, now I hate getting dressed in front of anyone, I gained 56 pounds during pregnancy lost all of it except 10 pounds, I constantly do crunches 170 a day for about 3 months now, and have not seen a difference. I know a lot of people who have had babies, and none of them have a stomach like mine. so I was hoping to gets some advice from other mothers. will I ever get rid of this??? if anyone has any advice please let me know,

Beauty = Found! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

Age: 21
# of pregnancies: 1
Weight pre-pregnancy: 110 lbs.
Weight gained during pregnancy: 50 lbs.
Weight 3 years post partum: don’t know!

I stumbled on this website quite by accident but I am SO glad I did! It is so important for women to see images of REAL bodies, especially mothers.

My relationship with my body has changed dramatically since I first got pregnant at age 18. I’ve struggled with eating disorders off and on since I was 14. When I was pregnant, I ate healthily for once and gained a decent amount of weight. My daughter was a large baby, 9 lbs. 7 oz. My labor and delivery were amazing experiences. I breastfed her for 13 months while going to college, which allowed me to eat healthy and maintain what I deemed an acceptable body.

I relapsed into disordered eating a few times after weaning my daughter. However, I have recently gained an enormous amount of self esteem. I’ve gotten my happiness and confidence back. I eat what makes me happy and I haven’t weighed myself in about 6 months. I’ve also been eating disorder free for over 6 months.

My body is perfect just the way it is. There are stretch marks on my thighs, breasts, hips, butt, and tummy, and I don’t care. The greatest thing another mother ever said to me was, “Honey, the guys I date don’t care about stretch marks,” when I asked her if she was ever afraid to be naked in front of men. Her confidence in herself has remained a model for me as I grow, both physically and spiritually. The good men will see the beauty in ALL of you.

I proudly nourished my daughter with my body. I wear a bikini with confidence. I enjoy uninhibited sex and intimacy. I advocate for women to love and take care of their bodies and I teach my daughter the same. She is young still but she will know that women deserve agency over their own bodies, not society. I teach her by example, showing her that learning, having self confidence, being creative, caring for others, and eating GOOD food is so much more important than constantly worrying about what we look like.

Life is just easier when you love yourself!