Cesarean

My Baby Tattoos (Hilary)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 5 Comments

I was completely overjoyed when I gave birth to the apple of my eye when I was just 21 years old. I weighed 110 pounds before I had him and reached a shocking 180 when I gave birth. Needless to say, he behind some baby tattoos. My heart doubled in size when I got pregnant with my second son only 7 months later. He was about a pound and a half bigger than my first and my second c-section. He left me with more tattoos and some extra skin. I am 5 weeks postpartum in my picture and trying to accept my new tattoos.

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 17 months (my first) and 5 weeks 9my second)

6 Months PP Update (Shannon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Children with Health Complications, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 16 Comments

Previous entries:
First
Second
Third

Age: 23
Children: 2 children
Births: 2 cesareans
PP: 3.5 years pp, and 10 months pp

I am now 10 months pp (these pictures are from 6 months pp, but my body hasn’t changed much since these). I got up to 177 with Liam (I am 5’2”),and I am now 133, so I have about 18 pounds to go. I try to
love my body…it did after all give me Connor (my angel baby) and Liam…but I don’t love it. I do love my stretch marks (they are mostly from Connor, and they are my only physical proof that I had him), but
I HATE my ledge (used to be an overhang, but it has gotten smaller), my big thighs, and loose skin It brings me down on a regular basis…and then it makes me feel bad that I hate it…I made 2 AMAZING boys with this body…shouldn’t I love it for that??? I am 23 and have a horrible body I feel so ugly, even though my husband still finds me so sexy. I am eating healthy (I do not diet because I think it is silly…you should try to always eat healthy, and I am still nursing Liam) and try to exercise at least 5 days a week, but I haven’t
changed much. To be honest, I forget to work out a lot and I am just recently doing better with that (I have a goal this summer for a cute bathing suit I want!!). I hope to love my body some day!

Anyway, Liam is doing great! He is 10 months old, he just started crawling last week, he is such a happy baby too! He reminds me so much of his brother! He is smiling and happy even when he is sick (he has a double ear infection right now) just like Connor. I have my bad moments where I cry a lot because I miss Connor so much…but for the most part I am happy that I had any time with him (even if it was only 19 months). There has yet to be a day that I have not thought of him, and I don’t think there ever will be. I love my boys!!!!

Pictures:
1- 6 months pp side
2- 6 months pp front (any advise on getting rid of the ledge????)
3- 1.5 months pp, 2.5 months pp, 6 months pp
4- Liam almost 10 months
5- about 8.5 months pp
6- my Connor!

Updated here and here.

1 month after twins, born at 35 weeks 3 days (Jacoba)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surrogacy, Toxemia, Twins 18 Comments

I had my son in 2008, and shortly after decided that I would pursue my dream of helping an infertile couple have a child. I met a wonderful couple in November, and by March 2009 we had contracts signed, and were moving ahead to transfer day! We transferred two embryo’s in May, (not my genetics) which resulted in a twin pregnancy. Twenty weeks later they found out they were expecting two girls! At the end of December 2009, I began to experience a severe headache, which eventually led to experiencing vision problems. I called 911, as my husband was out of town, and was on my way to the hospital shortly after. I was quickly diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and rushed in for an emergency c-section. Unfortunately the parents were not able to make it there on time, but they met their little ones shortly after.

I’m currently 5 weeks out from the c-section, and feeling pretty good. The incision still hurts when my little guy bounces on me, but I’m more or less back to daily activities. I think I was vacuuming a week and a half after, so I really didn’t have much ‘recovery’ time. I guess that’s to be expected when you have a little one at home! :)

The pictures really don’t do my stretch marks justice. They appear a bit darker in person. Although I had expected much worse in terms of sagging skin and stretch marks, I’m still pretty disappoint at the ‘overhang’ created above my scar. I’m REALLY hoping it somehow disappears :D

~Your Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies and 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 17 month old, and 1 month old surro twins

Description of the pics:
#1- Less then 12 hours after c-section
#2- Less then 12 hours after c-section
#3- 3 days after c-section
#4- 5 weeks post scar
#5- 5 weeks post scar
#6- 5 weeks post

Starting to Accept My New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months post partum

After two miscarriages I finally have my beautiful baby! Throughout pregnancy I loved my new body and was amazed watching it grow. I was lucky, I didn’t have stretch marks and I didn’t gain much extra weight. I was genuinely happy with the way I looked for the first time ever and enjoyed the special feeling of knowing that I was carrying a special, secret little person inside my big bump.

All that changed when I had my daughter.

After what many would class as an ‘unnecessary’ (or at the very least ‘premature’) caesarian I struggled to bond with my daughter, I struggled to accept the birth that she had had and struggled to come to terms with the difference in my body. I think the fact that I hadn’t given birth to her myself made the whole idea very abstract: to suddenly go from a pregnant belly with squirming baby inside to jelly belly and all of a sudden I am handed this baby. Well it was hard to accept. To top it off I suddenly woke up with stretch marks. Not only on my hips but on my breasts! That one blindsided me.

Four months on and I feel I have made some progress. I have always had small breasts so breastfeeding has been a real bonus – “nature’s boob job” someone called it and how right they are! In these photos I have just fed my daughter but they are normally a good size bigger. I am pleased to have a bit more curve to my top half.

I am not so upset with my figure. I have always carried a little extra fat (I was a UK12 pre-pregnancy and am a UK14 now) but I can usually hide the flab under my clothing. I even went on holiday recently and wore a bikini (although I did feel extremely self conscious in it).

The scar has healed better than I thought it would but it is still an ugly reminder of the way things went, but it is also proof that I have conceived and nurtured an incredible little life inside me for 9 months. It is hard to accept my body. I was no racing snake before but it is still a big change and hard to come to terms with. But my husband has been amazing and makes me feel just as sexy as when we first started going out. He has helped my self confidence and self esteem no end!

As for bonding, I am still waiting for someone to knock on the door and tell me “it’s all a big joke, you have to give her back now!”. I hope it never happens and I am constantly amazed at this incredible little person that we have created together.

I happened across this website by chance and I am so glad I did. I immediately wanted to participate. I wasn’t shy about showing off my pregnant body (not to this extent I hasten to add!) but I was still very hesitant. I thought about doing ‘underwear shots’ but then decided I would bare all and go for the full monty! And how liberating! I have never ever taken nude photos of myself before and I am so glad I did. If my stretch marks, love handles and podgy bits make other ladies feel even a little bit better about themselves then I am glad I did it. Thank you!!

Photos attached are at 33 weeks pregnant and 4 months (18 weeks) post partum.

My Twin Mom Body @ 1 Year Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 22 Comments

I delivered twin boys via c-section in January ’09 at age 38. Now I am 39 (40 later this year). For many years pre-pregnancy, I worked out frequently and intensely. I am 5’5″ tall, and at the time I got pregnant (my first and only pregnancy), I was very fit and weighed about 120 pounds. I definitely was concerned with what pregnancy would do to my body, but I also knew I had to gain a great deal of weight, and do so relatively quickly, since twins were more likely than not to come early, and I wanted mine to be as big and healthy as possible. I exercised mildly through week 30 or so, and religiously applied vitamin E oil to my belly, back, butt and thighs, though I knew this would probably have little or no effect. By the day I delivered at 34 weeks (when my preeclampsia became too severe for my doctor to allow me to continue with the pregnancy), I weighed over 190 pounds; my boys weighed 4 lbs & 3 oz., and 4 lbs 13 oz. at delivery. Although they had to spend a couple of weeks gaining weight in the NICU, the doctors and nurses all told me how impressed they were with boys’ sizes given their gestational age.

I nursed and pumped my breasts until the boys were 6 months old, and then switched to formula. During this time, when I wasn’t going crazy taking care of twin infants, I was despondent about my weight and my body but had absolutely no time to exercise or do anything else for myself. I wore maternity clothes for at least 4 months postpartum, and then bought 2 pairs of large cargo pants (I couldn’t come to terms with buying any other “big” clothing), and wore them to death, along with empire-waisted nursing tops. Lots of weight came off, but still I couldn’t stand the sight of myself naked, and avoided my friends and colleagues. By July ’09 I was down to around 145 pounds.

By September ’09, I was still up about 20 pounds, and vowed to do something about it. By that time I had the assistance of a nanny to help with the kids, and could take some time to exercise. I started going back to the gym, but even with help it was too difficult to have to schedule workouts outside the house. I committed myself to a home workout program, and followed through (note this involves approximately 1,000 abdominal exercise repetitions weekly — in addition to very challenging resistance routines for each major muscle group). By Thanksgiving, I felt like I had 90% of my old body back. I am now half-way through my second round of the program, and I can actually see my old body when I look in the mirror — so long as I’m standing far back enough not to notice that my areolas are a bit stretched out, and I have a bit of extra skin on my belly. I am actually very self-conscious about my areolas, but the extra belly skin is okay and I love my c-section scar!

My husband hasn’t given me any positive feedback on my body whatsoever. I have worked my butt off (literally), and am really pretty proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished, which is why I’m sharing here.

As for my boys, they are absolutely amazing. Within a few months, they were all caught up in terms of their prematurity. Now, at just over a year out, they are healthy, hilarious, gorgeous and smart. I love them beyond all measure.

Mum of three babies after 2 pregnancies -Twins (Natasha)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins, Update 14 Comments

I had my first daughter at 19. I had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy and a beautiful natural birth. I carried small, and my body returned to normal very soon after Anna was born. At the time I thought it was so different, and struggled for a short time to come to terms with those changes. I now realise of course that those changes were SO miniscule and I wish I had appreciated the body that I had before my second pregnancy far more than I did. I loved it for providing me with my child, but struggled to come to terms with the physical changes and didn’t appreciate how good I looked for having had a baby. I made a submission here after Anna’s birth. As Anna approached 1 year old, we decided to try for our second child as we wanted a close age gap and I want to go to university and work on a career, but not before I have my family. I did not want to wait 4 years to get my degree and however long it took to find employment in my chosen work area and however long it would take to fall pregnant… at that rate our little girl would be 6 or 7 by the time she had a brother or sister, and that was just too long for us.

We tried for our second pregnancy for 6 months before we fell, and sadly we lost that pregnancy. We were lucky to fall again the next month, and when I started bleeding heavily at 7 weeks I was so sure we had lost another pregnancy, however when we were scanned at the EPU at 8 weeks gestation, we were given the wonderful, incredible news – There was not a heartbeat, but there were two! – We were expecting TWINS! I got really big with the twins, it was nothing like what I experienced with Anna, and began to dread how I would look after the birth – expecting the worst.

I had a hard time of the pregnancy. I went into preterm labour at 31 weeks when my waters broke, but they were able to stop the labour and I went on to 34 weeks 5 days before they induced me due to the risk of infection from my ruptured membranes and suspected IUGR of twin 2. I had a traumatic birth where, after I had reached 10cm all by myself with no pain relief, the doctors and midwives took control and interfered in my birth in ways that confused and terrified me. I felt scared and violated – suddenly the contractions were unbearably painful and I struggled to push my babies out as I was forced to lay on a table with my arms strapped down and my legs in stirrups. I successfully gave birth to “twin 1” who we called Sophie-Rose. It angers me in hindsight that I had to ask for my arms to be unstrapped before I could hold my baby. After she was born the midwives pushed on my tummy to try to encourage “twin 2” to come down. This also angers me as I soon started to haemorrhage, and my placenta detached before my second daughter was born, which I fully believe was as a direct result from this pushing and prodding on my uterus from the outside. Because of this, I had to have a caesarean for my second daughter’s birth. I was knocked out with a general anaesthetic and my daughter was cut from my body. I didn’t get to see her for some hours until I had come around from the GA. We called our beautiful, tiny, “twin 2”, Grace.

My caesarean scar is a constant reminder of how wrong that birth was, and I feel like I let Grace down that she didn’t benefit from natural birth and have a cuddle straight after birth like both of her sisters did. The other marks on my body make me proud, though. My body has changed a lot more than it did with my first pregnancy and birth – my tummy is covered in stretchmarks and I have a slight overhang above my caesarean scar, but these are all reminders to me that I carried, nurtured and loved my babies with everything I had in me, for almost 8 months. I feel like a true mother, and my “mummy tummy” is a badge of honour – It speaks to the world and to all who see it, and it says, “this is more than a woman – this is a MOTHER.” It tells the story of the amazing journey that I have been through of pregnancy and birth, and of carrying three babies through two pregnancies. There is no achievement greater than that, and I am so proud.

My baby girls are so perfect, all three of them. I breastfed Anna for 16 months until she stopped asking for it, and I am planning on breastfeeding the twins until they decide it is time as well :-) I’m so grateful to the universe that no matter how they arrived here on earth, I have been blessed with three amazing, beautiful little girls and that makes me one of the luckiest people in existence.

I only wanted and planned on having two children (I got a bonus baby!) but after this birth experience… Initially I was so sure I would never want any more children ever again – not just because we had had all the pregnancies we had planned for, but because I had been so traumatised that I didn’t think I COULD do it again. But now, part of me yearns to have a fourth baby some time (not any time soon!), just to prove to myself what can be done. Not that it will right the wrongs of the birth that I experienced with the twins, but it would heal some of the hurt I have been left with after that birth, if I could do it again and do it RIGHT. I still yearn for that last perfect birth that I feel was taken from me in the theatre room where I birthed my last two children. Part of me feels it would be helpful and healing to do it again before I’m done, maybe after my degree is complete and I have been working for a few years, so when the girls are 7 or 8… I’d have to convince my husband on that one, though – as he is as offput as I was after the whole ordeal that I don’t think he’d be willing to risk me going through it all again :-(

The attached photos are:
1 – 28 weeks bump photo
2 – One month postpartum side on
3 – One month postpartum other side
4 – One month post partum face on
5 – One month post partum tummy only
6 – Caesarean scar

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 natural births and 1 caesarean birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Anna is aged 22 months, and Sophie-Rose and Grace are 1 month old (so 1 month post partum)

A Belly I Don’t Know (Shaunda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 15 Comments

Age: 27
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
Age of my child: 17 weeks (4 months, 1 week)

I have always wanted to post something on this amazing site, but just never had the courage. I looked at this site religiously throughout my entire pregnancy, knowing that I would have a hard time coping with my post-pregancy body. So, now I’ve decided to share my story, in hopes that someone can relate to me or offer any input.

I found out I was pregnant on January 14th, 2009. I had always wanted children (as I am the 1st of 8 and love being around kids). So, I absolutely enjoyed my entire pregnancy! At 8 weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hemmorage and put on bedrest for 3 weeks. I was absolutely terrified that I would lose my daughter and was, needless to say, ecstatic to find out that the blood clot literally thinned out and disappeared while I was on bedrest.

On September 16th, 2009 at 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant I went into labor. It was so crazy because I was obsessed with being pregant and even more so about being able to survive the pain of labor. But when I actually went into labor, I had no idea that was what was happening. I thought I just had gas or something:)!. When I got to the hospital i was already 7 centimeters dialated. But an hour later, my daughter’s heart rate was dropping and I ended up having an unwanted c-section. My beautiful baby girl was born at 6:35am at 8lbs, 4oz.!!

Today my baby is 4 months old and absolutely the best thing that has ever happended to me. I literally did not know love until I held her in my arms! There is nothing like it–she is my everything!! The only thing is I am slowly becoming sad and unaccepting of my new body. I was always a really skinnny person. Before I was pregnant, I weighed about 127 lbs. I gained 42 lbs throughout my pregnancy and weighed in at 169 the day she was born. Throughout the pregnancy, I was excited about gaining weight, just knowing there was a little person in me growing! But now that she is here, I want my old stomach back. I now weigh 145 lbs and my stomach is so foreign to me. Everyone at work keeps saying, “you don’t even look like you had a child”. I just smile and say to myself, “that’s just cause I’m hiding behind these clothes and sucking it in every now and then”. What’s wrong with me? I’m not fat, but I can only explain it by saying that when you are small for 27 years and all of a sudden you have fat hanging over your jeans, you go from a size 3/4 to 7 or 9 (depending), it’s hard to get used to it.

I love my daugther so much and would do my whole pregnancy over 1 million times if I had to. But if I could just flatten this tummy, I would be happier. I don’t mind the weight, but I got very little stretch marks on my belly (more on my thighs) and want to get into a bikini again, but not with this belly! I hope it will get better with time; I want to run/workout, but I don’t know where to start since I never had to?? I have a ton of clothes and can’t fit any of them, so each time I reach for a shirt or pants to put on and have to take it off cause something’s hanging over or poking out, I get pissed and frustrated. Hopefully this will get better. Holding and playing with my daughter makes it feel better, though. Thanks for listening to my story. All you mothers out there are truly beautiful, strong, and inspiring.

Picture#1: Me pre-pregnancy
Picture #2: Me 8 months pregnant
Picture #3: My beautiful daughter (Shaila)
Picture #4 and #5: My stomach now at 4 months postpartum

An Update to my Story (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo, Third Pregnancy, Update 13 Comments

27
3 pregnancies, soon to be 3 births (all c-sections)
5, 3 and due in 4 weeks

I originally posted this in December of 2006. To recap, we were in a serious car accident when I was 24 weeks pregnant with our second child, and it left me with pelvic injuries, and depression. I read my submission recently, and was shocked that I didn’t see at the time just how depressed and angry I was!

I have grown a lot since then. It has been 4.3 years since the accident, and I have finally gotten a diagnosis, and some realistic expectations from my physicians. I have an unstable pelvis, SI joint dysfunction and deterioration, and myofascial pain syndrome. I’m never going to be pain free again, and I have exhausted the available treatments at this time. I can choose to have more prolotherapy, which involves injections of a sugar solution in to the joints in my pelvis/lower back, but having had ~250 injections at this point (20 – 25 per treatment, x 10 treatments,) I have learned that they do not work. I have been in pain 24/7 for the last 4.3 years, but I no longer allow it to rule me. I beat depression, have started a support group for moms coping with chronic pain, and am using my experiences to help other moms who are in the position I was in. I have adopted a new motto in life: “It is what it is.” I cannot change what happened to me, but I can accept it, move forward, and be an advocate for those who haven’t gotten to this point yet J To remind myself of this, I designed a tattoo using some of my favorite elements, and put it over the injection sites on my lower back on June 6th, 2009.

In my original story, I was struggling with being told that I could not carry another child. I am happy to say that I am proving them wrong, because after a BCP failure in June, I am now expecting my third daughter. She will be arriving via c-section on my YDD’s birthday in 4 weeks. It has been an extremely rough pregnancy, but seeing my daughter will make it all worth while!

Thanks for reading!

My tattoo when I first got it
Me at 35 weeks with # 3 J
My girls at a wedding (flower girls)

Just a few degrees south (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 3 Comments

I had my first two children when I was 21 and 23. The pregnancies themselves were perfectly normal and healthy, but I was pretty depressed because the father wanted nothing to do with them. He tried to convince me to abort both times right up until the third trimester. I left him when our second child was a few months old. I went back to school and got my life together. Then, I met a wonderful man who loved my children almost more than I did. We got a married a few years later and then, learned we were pregnant with twins. I had said I didn’t want to have children after 30, so it was perfect timing. Like my first two, this pregnancy was fairly normal and healthy, but I experienced intense pain in my pelvic. I had something called pubic symphosis separation. My midwife wasn’t familiar with it, but she’d sent me to a physical therapist. I worked right up until the day I went into labor at 35 weeks. I had gone in for a regular appointment and the midwife checked to see if I was having real contractions or just more of the braxton-hicks variety. Turned out I was dilated to four and in full labor – I didn’t even know it. I’d been having contractions for 6 weeks and they felt the same to me.

I’d hoped to have a natural delivery, but both babies were breech. They were born via c-section four hours later. My husband cried as he held his children for the first time. I struggled not to panic and to keep my feelings of complete failure to myself. I had really hoped for a natural birth. Honestly, it wasn’t until I read Colleen’s Ode To My Scar on this site that I began to feel differently about it all.

I have always been plus sized, but after the twins, I shed weight very fast. I now weigh less than I did on my wedding day, but I just have all this skin lined with stretch marks. My husband thinks I am beautiful, and the beauty he sees is reflected in his eyes every time he looks at me. That’s what has helped me come to terms with the amazing body I have now.

This is me at 33 weeks and then today, 11 months pp.

~Age: 31
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 4 children
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 10, 8, 1 year old twins.

C-Section (Sara)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

Hello, my name is Sara. I am currently two weeks PP as I was blessed with the best Christmas Gift ever in 2009: our first child (a daughter!). I was originally due January 20th, 2010 but ran into some complications with my pregnancy and was put on bedrest. I went in on Christmas Eve 2009 for a routine NST only to find out that I was in active labor and was sent over to the hospital for an emergency C-Section, as the baby was frank breech. Several hours later, she was born. A full 4 weeks early, she only had to spend one night in the NICU and was perfectly healthy short of being a tad underweight (5 lbs). 3 days in the hospital and we were able to go home.

Pre-pregnancy, I was about 160 lbs. A little bit overweight for my size frame, but not obese. (Naturally after I got married I gained all of my weight- I was always small my whole life). I’ve never really been overly happy with my body, but I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant. I gained 18 lbs total with my pregnancy, and remained relatively “small”- at almost 9 months pregnant, I looked about 5 months. This is how it was discovered that I was having some complications with the pregnancy- low amniotic fluid put me in the hospital and on bedrest.

Looking at my body now, I appreciate everything that it went through. Feeling my incision site from the c-section reminds me of how amazing my body truly is. Am I happy with my couple of stretch marks? No. I’m not- but I’m going to hopefully get back in the best shape I have ever been. I didn’t get any stretch marks on my breasts, butt, or stomach, but I did get several on my hips. They are the first thing my eyes go to whenever I see myself naked. I am incredibly lucky to have a husband that apparently has horrible vision, as he still can’t seem to get enough of me, even when I was my largest with our daughter, and now with stretch marks and a scar. :) He doesn’t seem to see the same thing I do!

I am 23 years old, married for two years to my high school sweetheart, with three dogs, a brand new home my husband and I built, and now an amazing daughter. I couldn’t be more blessed!

Pictures included: Side view, c-section scar, front with breasts, our beautiful daughter Madalyn