Cesarean

For Chanel (Dalena)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

~ Age: 25
~ 1 pregnancy 1 birth
~ 5 weeks postpartum

I stopped taking my birth control pills at the end of May 2010. I found out I was pregnant on July 17th, 2010. I would say my pregnancy was normal. There weren’t any complications. I gained a total of 45lbs. I was 185lbs at my first prenatal appointment. And 230lbs at my last prenatal appointment. At 36 weeks my doctor told me that my baby was measuring a little big. An ultrasound estimated that baby was 8lbs 12oz. My due date came and went. I was scheduled to be induced on a Monday April 4th. I went into labor at 8:30pm on Thursday March 31st. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My contractions started at 5 minutes apart. By the time I got to the hospital at midnight they were 2 minutes apart. I was checked and only dilated to 3 and a half centimeters… I walked around the hospital for 3 hours until the contractions became unbearable. I was checked again and was at 5 cm. I was taken to my room and given my epidural shortly after. I was checked again and had dilated to 7 cm. So far so good right? The doctor broke my water to try to speed things up. Hours later I was still at 7 cm so I was given pitocin. I was contracting so much at one point they had to turn my pitocin off. I never dilated past 7 cm. My babys heart rate was high and I had a fever. My only concern during my entire pregnancy was that I would have to have a c-section… And that’s exactly what had to happened. I was distraught. I cried for about an hour while they got everything ready. I didn’t want the pain and the longer recovery time and even more I didn’t want the scar and the “lip” that my sister has from her c-sections. The moment I heard my baby cry I forgot about everything else. Chanel Marie was born Friday April 1st, 2011 at 3:39pm. She was 8lbs 8oz of pure perfection. I recovered quickly from my c-section. I was up and moving at the hospital. I took it easy but I didn’t baby myself. I lost 30 pounds in the first 2 weeks after delivering. Since then I’ve been losing about 3 pounds a week. I have 8lbs to lose until I’m back at the weight I was at my first prenatal appointment. I’m breastfeeding and eating a healthy diet and I’ve been going on walks about twice a week. I’m hoping to be cleared by my doctor to start working out at my 6 weeks pp appointment which is this Friday. My final goal weight is between 140 and 145. I’m going to give myself a year to meet that goal. And I’m hoping by the time I reach my goal weight my “lip” won’t really be noticeable. It’s already looking better since my tummy is getting flatter. In the end everything I was worried about hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Besides it was all for Chanel so it was more then worth it. I’m sooo in love. I’d do absolutely ANYTHING for my babygirl.

Thank you SOAM for letting me share. I owe a lot of being able to accept my body after the pregnancy to the site and women who have posted their stories. I hope that someone will read my story and it will help them to accept their body after their pregnancy as well. There is nothing more beautiful then life and love. And that is what our bodies have done. Created life and love.

Pic #1 Me before pregnancy
Pic #2 is 15 weeks pregnant
Pic #3 and #4 is 27 weeks pregnant
Pic #5 is 39 weeks pregnant
Pic #6 and #7 is me 5 weeks postpartum.
Pic #8 is the “lip”… Where the tummy pokes out over the scar.

Updated here.

3 Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

I’m coming up on my daughter’s third birthday and it was sort of a shock to realize that this was also (obviously) the three-year anniversary of my c-section. I hadn’t planned on a c-section and was pretty upset that I ended up having one. I had figured that my body would be different after pregnancy and childbirth. In fact, I remember looking at this very website before I was even pregnant and being shocked at how some women’s bodies had changed. Yet, but I’m still surprised at how different my body is now even though I *am* one of those women now. I have yet to fully come to accept it. I’ve never had a great figure but I do mourn the loss of what I had. I love my daughter very very much and have no regrets but I don’t like what I see in the mirror and usually avoid even looking. I probably weigh just about the same as I did when I got pregnant, maybe about 5 lbs more but even when I weighed 30 lbs more pre-pregnancy I liked my body better. The weird sagging apron of fat around my mid-section is a source of dismay and embarrassment and even presents problems for clothing options. I don’t fully understand why my body looks like this now. Is it the c-section? According to my doctors there was no complications with the surgery and I healed well. I didn’t have diastasis recti. Is it just age? I don’t know. I’ve started going to the gym again and trying to watch what I eat but I have to admit, I don’t think it’s going to get better seeing as I’ve been 30 lbs heavier and never looked like this. I think it’s just the way I look now and I need to learn to accept it. Three years later.

Your Age: 43 (gave birth at 40)
Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years

I Love My Body…With Clothes ON! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Legs, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

I found out I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 years old. I was extremely excited but of course I was scared about what was to come. I was actually anxious to start to show…that didn’t happen until I was 6 months. Then I exploded like a hot air balloon. In the back of my head I always knew that I would get stretch marks, gain a lot of weight and look a hot mess because it was genetic. Both my mom and sisters gained a lot of weight…and “gave birth” via C-Section! :-(

I was 135lbs pre-pregnancy. When I gave birth to my child I weighed in at 209lbs at the hospital…74lbs. I am only 5’4″ so that looked disgusting. I had to have a C-Section because I had “Failure To Progress” which I think is a load of BS since neither I nor the baby was in any kind of danger. I think my doctor just wanted to go home. I digress. I breast fed for 9 months with baby #1. I only got back down to 175lbs. Then got preggers with baby #2 when baby #1 was 13 months. I had immense stretch marks already but there was no reason to do anything about them since I was already preggers again.

After baby #2 I hated my body. I was fat and stratted up (straie for stretch marks – you know – instead of tatted up?! Yeah Im corney). I had stretch marks everywhere except my feet, head, arms and hands. Literally. I was so depressed. I did go on WW and I lost 50 pounds and got all the way back down to 135lbs! But then me and their father split and I gained a lot back keeping me at 155lbs for two years but then I became ill a few months ago and am now at 144lbs.

The pictures below show my tummy…which I want a Tummy Tuck because doctors said that is the ONLY way to get rid of all the excess skin and stretch marks. I have a six back under the loose skin. I’ve always been muscular. I’ve tried to show you guys as close as possible the ones on my thighs, but, and sides.

To me there is nothing special about stretch marks. Getting rid of them does NOT mean that I resent my children…that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I deserve to be happy with my body regardless of having children…

* Age: 25
* Number of pregnancies and births: 2 Pregnancies, 2 Births
* The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 and 3: 3 years PP.

C(section) You in Heaven, My Dear (Krystal)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 21 Comments

My third, and what I was hoping to be my final, pregnancy was beautiful in every way. I was always an active Preggo momma and continued this through my third pregnancy with walking, riding bikes and yoga. My first 2 pregnancies were also active and easy, leaving my body in pretty good shape and with healthy natural births. With just a few stretch marks here and there to complement the easy loving children who came with them. I was heading into my 38th week of pregnancy and preparing for a homebirth with a midwife who seemed to be just wonderful and perfect to accompany us. Again my body was holding up so well and I was always happy that each of my children left me with just a few battle scars. Oct. 27th I had a MW appointment and was gaining steadily, baby was ready for arrival and I was happy to only have acquired another 3 or 4 stretch marks with the 45 lb. gain on my 5’2” frame. Little did I know the next day would leave me with one of the hardest scars to accept. I awoke at 5 am, on Oct. 28th, and was instantly worried because my little bean wasn’t waking me up like she usually did at 3 am doing jumping jacks. I waited it out till about 7 am and was only getting small shifts. I called my MW and received no answer so I called the OBGYN I was also working with through my pregnancy. The nurse called me back about 930 am and told me to head on up to the hospital. My MW was still no where to be found as she is even to this day. I went in and at about 1030 am I was called back to have a NST. The sweet sound of my little beans Heartbeat was beautiful and a normal 141. My husband showed up about 10 minutes later and we sat and listened to the sweet thumping sounds coming from the little machine next to me. Suddenly, as if the world stopped, her heartbeat did too going from 141, to 80 , 40, 80……gone. That little machine then turned into the worst little machine I had ever seen when it started alarming to warn us that my baby was in distress. The Dr. took me to L&D where I was stripped, gassed and cut open. The very last thing I remember was my baby moving one last time in me to say goodbye before she headed on up into the Lords arms. I awoke 4 hours later to the most excruciating pain and life shattering news that I was cut open, robbed of my soul and left scarred and empty armed. I have a scar now stretching 8 inches across my abdomen reminding me on a daily basis that I have an angel in heaven, just waiting for me to join her some day, thanks to the grace of the good Lord. I try daily to accept this scar as a reminder of Gods grace and promise that some day I will see my little angel Stella again.

~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 2 live births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12, 4, 6 months post partum from my angel baby’s birth

Two Blessings, My Sister and My Problem (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I am 37 and have had 6 pregnancies and 2 live births. My first born is 3 year and 3 months and my second is 13 months old. I became a plus size after my first pregnancy and I still am. I don’t like my body and from time to time I wish I could come off my skin. I had a new year resolution to loose the weight and exercise. I felt unattractive and have been having problems with my husband for that, I don’t want to be intimate with him because I feel so ugly and that the belly and extra fat gets in the way. He tells me he loves me just as I am… so it is me the problem, I cannot look at my self in the mirror and think how bad I look…

I had both babies by c-section. With the first one I had postpartum depression, I cried for everything and anything and to make everything worse I was afraid of my baby. With the second one I had no time to think of depression. My oldest expected me to be there and so did the new born, I have no family or friends to help, so I pulled my act together just for them. I have nursed both of them and with my last I still am, baby is not showing interest on getting of the breast milk, refuses water, juice, milk.

14 days into the new year my sister tells me that she is going to have a tummy tuck and a liposuction done… I felt scared for hear and tried to talk to her out of it but no such luck on January 18th I called to talk to her and come to find out that she was in the OR having the procedure done, I had so many things going through my head… now I will be the ugly one of the bunch, I am going to be the fat and deformed one, to a point I felt envy, one because she was able to pay for a procedure like that and two because she was escaping the gang of us chubby ones. That same day I tried talking with her on the phone but she was not up to it, so I waited for the next day and that night I kept thinking those same thoughts of envy and self pity. The next day I woke up and went to the chiropractor like I always do on Wednesdays and felt the need to talk to my sister. At noon I received the most horrible news of all my sister, the better part of me had died of a pulmonary embolism.

Now 3 months latter I am still 185 pounds on a 5’2” tall body and feeling guilty for the thoughts of envy, for my lack of commitment to my new year resolutions, without my best friend and confident and with a husband that does not understand why I cannot love my body and my self.

Twice Blessed (mommy2twincesses)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 21 Comments

After suffering the heart breaking loss of a miscarriage, my husband and I were beyond elated to find that shortly after we were expecting twins. From that amazing discovery at just 7 weeks, I slathered myself religiously with any and every tummy/stretch mark cream I could get my hands on. By the time I was 30 weeks I still had not been graced with stretch marks but decided that I’d better go ahead and take maternity photos at that time, just in case. It’s a good thing too, because at straight up 31 weeks my tummy looked like a road map. At that point I swear I thought I couldn’t get any bigger if I’d even wanted to without literally popping open, but low and behold I did. By the time I delivered my gorgeous identical twin girls via c-section at 35 weeks I measured an impressive 44 inches. My girls were healthy and at that time that was all that mattered. Within the first weeks after their arrival I didn’t have time to think about my body’s aftermath and honestly thought that with time I would “get my body back”. However, after two years of trying to “get it back” through healthy diet and exercise, I finally admitted to myself that although the weight was gone (and then some) that there was nothing I could do about the “twin skin” and in fact, the more I lost, the more saggy my tummy got. My wonderful husband knew full well that my insecurities was not only damaging my relationship with myself, but it was driving a wedge between us too because I was so ashamed of my body that I simply refused to let him see my naked body. He fully supported my wishes to have my belly surgically corrected and for us, it was the best decision we could’ve made! I still have stretch marks, but finally, I feel like and can see ME again!

The shape of a mother should be one that she is completely proud of and confident in. For me, it took drastic measures, but there is still plenty of evidence of the miracles my body grew and nurtured. At 28 years young, I just couldn’t see spending the rest of my life ashamed of my body and now, I don’t have to! And through sharing this as well as my blog I want to give others hope and let them know that yes, you should love yourself, but if you were injured or disfigured in an accident you wouldn’t think twice about correcting the damage done and in my eyes, pregnancy is no different.

After But Before (Colleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

My previous submissions are here: (oh no I’m becoming a serial poster!)
One Year After a Cesarean
Ode to my Scar
Coming to Grips With a Cesarean

My age: 27
One pregnancy, one birth
My daughter is 21 months old.

I have to apologize; I like to take a few days to tweak my entries before submitting them and this one just kept getting longer and more ramble-y. I didn’t originally intend on writing quite so much!

A few weeks ago my husband fell while out on his daily bike ride. He’s okay, but he scraped up one knee pretty badly. I was looking at the scab one day to see how it was healing, and I noticed a large white stripe on the side of his knee.

I said, “Hun, is this a stretch mark?”

He replied, “where?”

“On your knee.”

“Yeah, probably. I’ve got them everywhere.”

My husband is not an overly large man. He is 5’8’’, and 195 pounds (a lot of which is muscle). Yet his thighs, butt, back, and—apparently—knees are covered in deep, wide stretch marks. They are flesh-colored, but they still lend an unmistakable texture to his skin. And you know what? He’s okay with them. “Okay” really isn’t the right word, he just doesn’t consider them at all. There’s nothing he can do about this gift that puberty gave him, so why stress about it? (When I let him read this post he stopped and looked at them, but he had to look around to see exactly where they were. They just aren’t on his radar normally).

I find it ironic that as I sat down to write this entry, I checked Facebook and Bonnie had posted the clip from Steven Colbert about ugly armpits and companies creating problems for women to “fix”, because that’s sort of what I was thinking about writing about.

The thing is, I’ve read several posts where women say “I already had stretch marks from puberty.” Nobody ever seems bothered by those marks, like my husband, but the vast majority of women HATE their pregnancy stretch marks. Why is that? Because we are told that we should. There are countless products out there made to “fix” and/or “prevent” stretch marks, and they invariably have a pregnant woman on the label. The message is that if you are growing yourself, stretch marks are fine, but if you are growing another being, they are not. And that’s just plain wrong.

I understand this, and yet I am still terrified that a future pregnancy will leave my stomach riddled with silvery lines, just like my hips are. It’s such a deeply ingrained cultural prejudice that I cannot seem to overcome it. But I was a junior in college before I EVER realized my mother had stretch marks. They faded to almost nothing and I didn’t care. Our children do not care about the marks that we gained in giving them life. We are perfect to them regardless. Isn’t it sad that what society deems “acceptable” is more important to us than our own children’s opinions?

I love my daughter more than life itself, but the thought of raising a girl in today’s culture scares the ever-living crap out of me. She’s small for her age but she eats like she’s facing a famine, so much that her little tummy gets distended and her shirts ride up. J I love to poke it and say “look at that belly!”, but sometimes I worry that she’ll take it to heart and start thinking she needs to eat less, or suck it in. And she is only 21 months old. She can’t possibly think that way yet but how do I know when she might? I want to raise a daughter who loves herself the way she is and realizes that she is beautiful, without pushing her over into outright vanity. It’s such a fine line and I’m afraid that I will step off of it and mess her up for life.

I have made no progress since my first post, 20 months ago. My indomitable self-confidence is starting to waiver. Some days I look in the mirror and look at my stomach in disgust. It isn’t big at all, but I see the line left by my underwear and feel like such a fatty. I had a very small pregnant belly and I still look like I did when I was 4 or 5 months along. But as I was standing in the shower earlier, sucking my stomach in to see what was fat and what was the natural curve of my body, I began to wonder why a flat stomach even matters. Women are not all meant to have flat stomachs. If that was “normal” for all human females, it would not be such a hard state to maintain. It bothers me that I’m upset about looking like a natural woman, a mother. I wish I had more friends near me who are mothers. Everybody I know with babies lives far away and none of my “everyday” friends have kids yet. It’s very hard to be confident or comfortable when you’re comparing yourself to untested, unstretched bodies.

Sometimes I feel like I have lost control of my life. I hate my job (yup, still the same one that I “wasn’t going to go back to”). I keep applying for new ones and I never hear a single thing back. It is discouraging, and my inability to get out of a horrible work situation has started to cause me to doubt other areas of my life too. Why can’t I eat better? Why can’t I finish painting the house we bought over a year ago? Why don’t I exercise? What, exactly—other than a beautiful little girl—have I accomplished in the five years since I graduated from college?

I have been slowly working on making my dinners healthier; I figure that’s something, at least. What I really need to do is exercise, for peace of mind as well as for fitness. There just always seems to be something more important to do than exercising. I don’t have enough (baby-free, work-free) hours in the day.

My husband is my inspiration. He is more dissatisfied with his body than I. He’s gained nearly 30 pounds since we started dating (8 years ago) and he hates it. He has an unfortunate metabolism that likes to add weight quickly and not give it back up easily. He took up cycling a few years ago, and this year he signed up for a 250-mile charity ride which he has been training religiously for. He’s only lost 10 pounds so far but he is so much trimmer and in much better shape. I figure if he can do it, why can’t I?

So here I am, 21 months post partum from my first baby, 8 months after I weaned her. I am considering these to be my “before” pictures—before I take control of my life, get my body to a healthier state that doesn’t nag at the back of my mind, and regain my self-confidence. If he can do it, I can do it, and I WILL.

Updated here.

Almost a Year Post C-Section (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

Pregnancies/Births:1/1
11 and 1/2 months pp

I have posted a couple times on here, and each time has shown a more positive outlook and attitude! Partly,, thanks to this site!! I encourage every mother to FIND/MAKE at least 2 hours a week to do something active that you really enjoy! Doesn’t have to be all at once,,, 4 different 30 min segments would be great! It’ll relieve stress, boost confidence and give you the energy you need and deserve to be a great mother! My first three pics are me now,,, small , not as perky boobs(being 32 and trying unsuccessfully to breast feed will do that for ya lol) and c section scar,, but my activity is getting me into great shape! Next two are my angel face girl,, doing one of her favorite things, standing in her favorite spot and watching and laughing at Dora! :) And me and my Husband celebrating his birthday at a basketball game! Summer is coming,, so lets find that time so we can be happy and active with our children! God Bless :)

Anonymous

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

My boyfriend and I weren’t together long when I found out about our first daughter. We were young, scared yet estatic about the news. I was 145 lbs when I first found out I was pregnant. I’m 5’5, so I wasn’t super thin, but I was happy with how I looked. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, and by the end of the pregnancy I was up to 195 lbs. I ended up with what seemed like millions of tiny little stretch marks from pelvic bone to just up past my belly button, Tiny, silver stretch marks. My first daughter was 2 weeks over due. I was induced, had my water broke, and after 9 1/2 hrs of labour, they decided to take her by c-section as every time I had a contraction her heart rate dropped. They took me to the OR and by the time we got there, they had lost her heart rate and were losing me, thus, emergency c-section. Needless to say, scared Darren and I throughly. After wards, my healing went normaly, however, dealing with the stretchmarks, scar and loose sagging skin was not easy.

Also, before the baby, I had quite a large chest, I was a 36DD prebaby days. During pregnancy and breastfeeding, I was at least a 38E. After breastfeeding for 4 months, my breats were saggy and empty feeling. So not only did my breast sag, but my stomach as well. So here I was, 22 yrs old, 15 lbs heavier than I was use to (dropped to 160 lbs quickly) covered in stretch marks, saggy skin and a pouch. While al my friends were skinny, and loving/living the young adult life. Needless ot say, I was depresed. I went a week at a time with out showering, you couldn’t find me out of sweat pants very often if ever, hair always in a bun…not very attractive. Took a kick in the butt from my mother to get me in gear. My loving and supportive boyfriend always told me how beautiful I was and how it didn’t matter to him. The marks on my body were made from OUR child. He thought my scars and marks were beautiful.

I ended up getting down to 154 which was only 9 lbs away from my pre baby weight. I quit smoking (it’s been 15 months now) but gained 16 lbs from doing so…170 lbs. I joined weight watchers, started walking absolutely every where, biking every where, would go anywhere without spanx or layers to hide the pouch and loose skin…2 weeks into weight watchers…SUPRISE baby #2. I was really excited, but taken back. We weren’t trying, and he wasn’t sure he wanted another one…me on the other hand I was POSTIVE I wanted one, but wanted to wait at least another year for our daughter to be older and in school when the second was born.

My boyfriend became very distant and almost detatched from me durning my second pregnancy. Didn’t come to any dr’s appointments, didn’t really show any interested in ultra sound pics or news about how I was doing with the pregnancy. Never really touched my belly or told me I was beautiful (which he was always reassuring me during baby #1, and post baby) Our sex life suffered, it felt like we were strangers. He doesn’t deal with fear or loss of control well…at all. I gained the weight quickly and it made matters worse. Started at 170….41 wks gestation weighed in at 224 lbs. I was devestated. I weighed more than my boyfriend. When I went into labour he stepped up. We have a vaginal birth, and he coached me the whole way through. I’ve lost 30 lbs in 10 days, 20 of it was in the delivery room, but I feel like a million dollars. And my boyfriend is back being the supportive amazing man that he is. Our second daughter was healthy, no complications, 9 lbs even. He’s bonded with her amazingly, and we have our bond back as well…11 days post delivery, I am 195 lbs. Which still bothers me as it’s the weight I was when I delivered my first, but I am making progress. Breast feeding, and eventually long walks with my girls. Websites like this give me hope for my girls, that one day they will love their bodies, regardless what the media tells them! Thank you so much for this website! Seeing women with the same scars, stretch marks and skin makes me feel like I’m not alone.

Age: 24
Number of pregnancies and births: 2, 2
The age of children: 2 1/2, 11 days
Second pregnancy, cesarean

Pouch Tummy and Tons of Stretch Marks (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Pregnancies: 1 Births 1
PP: 6 months

So I stumbled across this website by chance looking up different support groups for weight loss and cesarean sections. I have been reading the stories and have found them so compelling and inspiring that I thought I might share mine. I did not really realize how blessed I am to have my boyfriend (though we are living separately right now) in my life and completely supportive.

I was an average 22 year old when I found out I was pregnant. I was 5’6 about 175, not fantastic but not super overweight either. t. I lost my job late December, and was struggling to find another one. When I found out I was pregnant, and thought that I should inform my possible employers of such when they asked certain questions like “is there anything that will impede you coming to work for over a year” I let them know. Needless to say I was unemployed for the majority of the year. Now everything went along swimmingly during my pregnancy. I did not really gain much weight in the beginning, I was a bit moody here and there but it was fine. After about 5-6 months pregnant I found out I was having a little girl, and we were more than thrilled.

At 36 weeks Scarlett had gained over a 1lb and a primary C was scheduled. At 39 weeks I gave birth to a very healthy 10lb 6 oz girl 21 3/4 inches long on October 14 2010. This was when things started going down hill. I had a hard recovery from the C, and I had a lot of extra weight on me. I started off at 175 I walked in to the hospital at 230, Scarlett had stretched me to the gills. Which is fairly evident in the pictures I have below.

I lost 30 lbs fairly quickly and have been sitting at an even 200-205 for the last three months. I have alot of issues with the way my body looks, and it has gone to the point where it had taken a toll on my relationship. Between me being unhappy with my looks, an infant, my 4 year old step son, part time work and a full load at school, and my boyfriend returning to work full time, I stressed myself out to the point where he moved out, not because of him, but because of me.

I am almost 6 months postpartum, and school has finally calmed down enough to where I have decided to begin working out more vigorously. I have come to terms that I will never have the figure I had prior to pregnancy, never have a nice tone tummy (I’ve always had extra skin and been squishy. Now I’m like uber squishy lol :) ), but I have come to realize that I need to be happy with myself in the short term, or atleast okay, in order to be strong for my daughter, and myself.

I am amazed at how strong and loving my boyfriend is, he tells me I’m beautiful and that he loves me everyday, even though he knew the body prior to pregnancy.

I am proud to say I may have a saggy tummy, even tiger striped and ugly, but I have a gorgeous 6 month old, and a loving family.

1st picture: 6 months pregnant
2nd Picture: Side view of pouchy-ness
3rd Picture: Attempt at picture of C- scar
4th Picture: Frontal view of pouchy-ness

Updated here.