Breasts

I want to look better. (Sue)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children: 16 months

First of all I want to apologize for mistakes, English is not my language, I’m from Poland.

I’m just 22 and I’m not happy about new look of my body… I’m not hating it only because of my boyfriend who seems to like it despite stretch marks and ugly, flat boobs. I was kind of sexy before pregnancy, I had 127 pounds of weight (I am tall, 176 cm) and I miss it very much. At 8th month of pregnancy I looked like a whale (171 pounds) but I was happy and excited. I couldn’t stand waiting for my son, and I was scared that something can go wrong. My friend and her baby had died that year during c-section. I was shocked. We were preparing together for maternity, we had same problems with our boyfriends, we had plans. After their death everything had changed. I was left alone, nobody could understand me and my fears. But luckily my pregnancy went well (I had only some problems with liver) and in October 2008 I gave birth to my beautiful son.

Usually my body is not a problem for me. I’m starting to think about what it looks, when I see slim, famous women 6 weeks postpartum, when I’m comparing shape of my body with my friends who doesn’t have children and when I’m trying to buy some new cloths in which I look nice. I know that my problem with accepting my new look is not serious – in the end my son is happy and healthy and I’m alive. But still I’m not feeling good with myself and I want to fight for better look. I’m going to loose some pounds and change my lifestyle. I know that it’s kind of sad that my self-esteem depends on my look but I think I can’t change it. What I can change is shape of my body, and I’ll try to do it.

Here are photos of me before and during pregnancy and 16 months postpartum.

First Time Mama (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 17 Comments

I found out I was pregnant in April of last year. My husband and I were very, very surprised but excited none the less! I delivered my baby on Thanksgiving day. We had planned a birth center natural birth but when our sweet little one was a face presentation all plans changed. This was the first face presentation the hospital had seen in 10 years. We were told time and time again that I would need a c-section but my body kept moving forward and our nurse was on our side (not calling the doctor in very much!). Eventually she told me that I was fully dilated but that I would need to wait to push until the Dr. could come in…well that didn’t feel very possible at that point. She then said “if you ignored everything I told you and just let your body do its work, eventually the baby would come out.” then she left…and we pushed. After just 20min of pushing (and the dr. quickly brought in!) we had our perfect little girl.
I am still adjusting to my body. I have hated my body for my entire adult life. I thought that maybe I would love it more after having my baby, knowing just how powerful it is. But that has not been the case, I can see that it is doing its job and doing it very well (EBF and my baby is growing like a weed!). But I am still sad that my breasts are so uneven and my stomach is riddled with stretch marks. I will never look the same again and I am trying to heal my wounded heart and learn to love this body. Thank you for offering a place where this healing can take place. I just feel sick and huge and I am hoping that by getting out there and posting this I will stop feeling so revolting.

Age: 23
# of Preg and births: one
Age of baby: three months (13 weeks pp)

Blessing and A Curse (Paige)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 14 Comments

My whole life I was in sports. I started gymnastics at 3 years old and didnt stop until I went away to college. I started running track and playing football in the 7th grade and continued until college. While in college I modeled. I was 20 when I became pregnant with my first child by the time she arrived I was 21. For some reason most women have nice round bellies while mine was more of a bullet shape (with both of my girls). After the first baby I lost some of the waist but realized I would neevr be the same ever again. I went to consultations to see how much a breast lift and implants would cost and a tummy tuck. I was informed by a doctor that due to havin such a large baby and carrying past 40 weeks destroyed my muscles. After months of working out I tried to get back into modeling but realized the stomach would never be the same. But after some time I accepted the body I was given. When my first child was 8 months old me and my husband discovered we were going to have another baby. So here we go again but this time 39 weeks 4 days and baby number 2 arrived June 2009. Now with the second child I gained 50 lbs. with my second baby and have not been able to get rid of it. I have dieted exercised but nothing is working. After growing up I relaized that I dont want to die on an operating table somewhere just because I was vain. So now I’m left with this body I hate but I’m also stuck woth two cute wonderful girls who I just cant get enough of!!! This negative image of myself is taking it’s toll I try to be positive but I have pictures of what I looked like only 3 years ago and its hard not to be depressed. I went from a size 1 in jr’s clothes to a size 14 in womens. Not to mention my breasts feel like hollowed out ziploc bags of pudding (sad but true), stretch mark on the back of my legs (back of the knees i didnt even know it was possible to get stretchmarks there), where pubic hair grows (even that got stretch marks!) and a double chin. Now I love my husband and my girls with all my heart but he thinks we should try again to see if we can get a boy. I’m like are you serious?!?! Although I would love a boy I just dont think I can go through with it and get more weight. A 23 year old body should not look like this! Thanks for listening to the rant of a crazy lady :)

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years old Madison Michelle and 8 month old Mackenzie Rose

Different Body, Same Girl (Leah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 11 Comments

22 years old
3 pregnancies, 2 births.
Justin 4, Tanner 2

I am in love. I love my body. I love my babies. I love my life. This body is NOT the body I am familiar with, but I am grateful. I have too much to be thankful for to focus on my exterior. In the end, its not my stretch marks, or cellulite that make me who I am. I EARNED these scars. I worked for 18 months to incubate my babies. Every stretch mark, every dimple… it was ALL WORTH IT. This body may not be what is recognizable to me, but I have a new body now… the body of a mother. This is my new shape, and I am not ashamed.

You’re really lovely, underneath it all (Amber)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 23 Comments

Being an only child, the first things I was told by my mother when I told her I was first pregnant were the horror stories of how her pregnancy was so horrible and that is why she only had one. When I developed stretch marks, she blamed me for not using enough lotion because she never had any. When my milk came in, she commented on how huge my breasts were, how strange my nipples looked, and when I weaned my first, she commented on how ugly my deflated breasts were. It was one insult after another from the only woman I confided and trusted in for pregnancy and postpartum support, my own mother.

My stretchmarks on my breasts (going from size B to D) were bright purple and surrounded my nipples like the rays of the sun. Up and down my hips, thighs, and sides were more “tiger stripes” – my adult cousin
actually pulled me aside and asked what was causing my bruising, if my husband was beating me. Everyone around me seemed to be pointing at something being wrong with me, wrong with my body, and that I was at
fault for it all.

I’ve learned over time and maturity, that my body is beautiful as it is. I don’t need to hide it, if someone has a problem with it, the problem lies solely with them inside their heads. I have breastfed both of my children for a total of 28 months at this point and we are expecting our 3rd child any day now – I plan to breastfeed him until I am depleted of fat as well. I started out in a size 10, after weaning baby #1, I was a size 6. After weaning baby #2, I was a size 4. I gained 60 lbs with each pregnancy, though only 45 lbs with this one. I’m 5’9″ and have a thin build, people who see me clothed after birth always think I have a perfect, childless body – but you know what? It’s really lovely, underneath it all, just in a different and more admirable way, in a way that has supported life to the fullest extent!

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 3rd vaginal birth any
day now
~The age of your children, or how far pregnant you are: 4 years, 2.5
years, and 35 weeks pregnant currently in photos

Updated here.

When happily ever after comes crashing down… (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 20 Comments

Age: 21
Pregnancies: 2 Births: 1 boy, now two years old.

Well, the past year has been a year of serious soul searching for me. I went from being a stay at home mom to being a full time college student AND working on top of it. We have been trying to get pregnant for the last year, which hasn’t worked out. I was on Depo so long it’s taken my system over a year to start working at all. Only recently have I started ovulating, we are still trying for our second child. The huge change in my lifestyle has had a huge impact on my body. I lost most of the baby weight. I’m 135 now, I was 120 before I got pregnant, and My son is almost two and a half now. I’m thinner, but I also look and feel older, also. I can see it in my face, in my posture, I’m so tired. I do personally feel better for having lost the weight, simply because my size was part of my personal identity. I gained 70 pounds during my pregnancy. I am not exaggerating, I went from 120 to 190. I lost 30 pounds the first 6 months, the stopped, for a year. I GAINED over 10 pounds (again) when I finished breastfeeding. I was 60 pounds heavier than my norm. I was used to being thin, and when my body type changed so dramatically so quickly, I felt like you do right after you get a really dramatic hair cut. Your not sure if your fond of it, you learn to love it because hey, until it grows back your stuck with it, but it doesn’t feel like YOU. You know? I was proud of my body for the miracle it gave, I still am, but I felt like I wasn’t in my own skin.

Anyways I lost the weight kinda by accident, because I became SOOO BUSY. Work then class then trying to find time with my toddler between mountains of homework then back to work again! I have a 3.9 GPA, I bust my ASS to get good grades in college. I’m constantly GOgoGOgoGo all the time. I’m quitting my job. I already talked to my boss about it. I’ll still be going to school full time, I’m halfway to my degree now.
Anyways, my body image took a huge blow when I found out over the holidays that my husband had an affair.
For over a year.
With my friend.
It started two weeks after my son was born.
I was devastated. Who am I kidding, I’m still devastated. I am dealing with a lot of aftershock issues upon discovery of the affair. I have never been in any serious relationship that I didn’t get cheated on. I now have some major trust issues: It went on for over a year without me knowing because I trusted him implicitly. However, I have no illusions about her being more attractive than I am. I am not conceded, but I’m not ignorant either. That monster is NOT attractive- she’s got a face for radio and a personality to match. She is stupid, selfish trailor trash, flat out. She is not smart, she is not kind, she is not talented, she is an awful parent, I KNOW I didnt get passed over for someone better. Men do NOT upgrade when they cheat, ladies.

We are still together. I decided not to throw his ass to the curb for a lot of reasons. The big one was that wasn’t what I WANTED. When it comes down to it, I have goals and dreams, and all of them have him in it. I want to have more children with him. I want to grow old with him. I want us to buy a home someday. I want my children to be raised with both parents in the same house. I WANT things. Yes, I could leave him. I’d be alone for a while, but I know eventually I would move on. Eventually I would probably find someone new, who I would love, but never in the same way, and we could have children someday, but that not what I WANT. He is still my highschool sweetheart. My BEST FRIEND. I may have learned that I don’t know him like I thought I did, (trust me ladies, I was completely 100% sure he would never, ever cheat. NO ONE is immune to infidelity.) But he is still my BEST friend. When I made MY wedding vows, I meant them. So we had a vow renewal thing on our anniversary, he is still jumping through hoops to make things better for me, we got matching tattoo’s, and life moves on.
One of the big blows was that it started TWO WEEKS after I gave birth to our son. When I was bloated, exhausted, and physically incapable of having sex with him. Of course HER at the time was half my size, and made herself incredibly available to him sexually. The affair stopped around the time I started losing baby weight. This had never occured to him. He swears it is just a coincidence, that none of that had ANYTHING to do with the affair. (he was never the shallow type)

but deep, deep down, that will always be in the back of my mind.
Deep down, I will always wonder if he didn’t go with the slutty blonde that was half my size because of how I looked at the time.
Thats very hard to say out loud.
I am still trying to cope with that. I’m so confused. Deep down, I’m afraid that if I have another baby it will happen again. But my biological clock is ticking like big ben, I WANT another baby, so so desperately! We have been trying for over a year now! obviously, the whole issue is way too complicated to gush out on here, as long as this ALREADY is. I just needed to Post these pictures, and say to the world: I am strong. I am a conqueror. I will not be destroyed.

The first pic is me NOW.
the second pic is me now and my two year old.
The third pic is me roughly a year postpartum.
The fourth is one of my tattoo’s: the tree of life. Symbolizing fertility, renewal and creation.

Pregnant with #2! (Kylie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

I got pregnant by accident with my first child, perfect pregnancy, nothing went wrong. Was in labor for 14 hours, pushed for two. Had a beautiful baby boy, all NATURAL…NOT ONE drug on January 25th, 2009. :) Up until about 6 months postpartum I didn’t loose but 20 pounds after giving birth, and that was from breastfeeding. Finally in about August I decided of being “bigger.” I started doing a workout video every day and doing weight watchers. I lost a lot of inches and about 13 pounds. Then I started doing the Couch to 5k running program and lost more inches and another 12 pounds. So total 25 pounds, which I am might proud of. I got to the 25 pounds in about late October 09. Now I am 5.5 weeks pregnant and am going to gain weight again, right after I got back down 5 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight :( It’s worth it though, since this time I plan on working out the whole pregnancy and eating right, only gaining about 15 pounds, unlike last time…I gained 45…NEVER AGAIN! I also got stretch marks , but I am well over that issue! I am proud I have overcome them. ;)Well hope this is reassuring and inspirational to you all! :)

~Your Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth so far
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Noah–13 months

5.5 weeks pregnant in all pictures.

5 months PP and doing ok (Amy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 16 Comments

Age: 21
Number of Pregnancies: 1
Number of Children: 1
PP: 5 months

Hi my name is Amy and I am 21 years old. Here’s my story. I have been married to my husband for about a year and a half now and we are very happy together. He shops and does the cooking, he is just great! We decided to try for a baby straight after getting married and fell pregnant after a few months of trying. I started my pregnancy at 43kgs (about 95 lbs) and ended up putting on 11kgs (24 lbs). I had a very easy pregnancy with no morning sickness or anything. After only 5 hours of labor, I gave birth to my beautiful son naturally using only the gas for pain relief. By the time I got to the hospital I was too far gone for anything else! He weighed 6 lbs. 12 oz. I only got a couple of grazes, no tears and only a couple of small stretch marks around my belly button, but lots on my boobs. So overall I was really lucky. I lost my pregnancy weight in a couple of months. I breastfed only for 5 weeks but I think that helped my stomach go down quite significantly in the beginning.

I exercised a lot before I fell pregnant and all the way through my pregnancy everyday. 5 weeks after giving birth I started exercising again, but I must say now that I am working on a casual basis I haven’t been doing much at all. I also have found that my knees have gotten very weak so it has made it quite hard to get into shape. I have always had a very healthy diet and ate just the same through my pregnancy. I have struggled with body issues forever but never so much as I am now. I feel so unattractive. My boobs are so small and saggy I hate my husband seeing them. I know he loves me but I also know that we need to be attracted to one another to have a good relationship and I just don’t see how he could find me attractive now.

I have already had a consultation for a breast lift and augmentation but I will be waiting until I have another baby first. I am so scared of what I will look like after another baby but I don’t want to be selfish and not have any more just because I am worried about my body. Having a baby has been the most wonderful experience of my life. My hubby really wants another one too and I would hate to disappoint him.

The pics are of me at 36 wks and me 4 months pp. I don’t have any more recent but I look about the same!

Feeling Confident (Jill)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 32
2 pregnancies
Children aged 5 years & 8 years

I had my first child at 24. Before becoming pregnant I weighed about 140 lbs. I gained 67 lbs. during that pregnancy. Before my second birth (27 years old) I had lost all of the weight plus some and got down to 136 lbs. During the second pregnancy I gained 76 lbs. Over the past five years I have fluctuated between 135 and 170 but spent the most time hovering around 140-145.

I am now 32 and have gotten down to 130 lbs. As much as this number seems reasonable, my body is so very different than before. My breasts are smaller and droopier, obviously there are many stretch marks, my thighs are much bigger, my hips are wider, and my belly skin is wrinkly.

My husband, who is very complimentary of my body, just bought me a bikini for the summer. I love the suit and really want to wear it. I also, however, want to feel confident in it and not self-conscious. I can, for the most part, deal with the stretch marks as they more closely remind me of my precious babes. They also aren’t as defined as they seem to look in the pictures. My biggest concerns, however, are my love handles and the wrinkly skin under my belly button. I just cannot seem to get it to tighten up – is it possible? Hoping to feel confident by June!

28, and still coming to grips with my new body (M)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 11 Comments

My pre-birth weight was about 140, and I am 5′ 9″. I am a former athlete that was used to a typical body weight of 160-165, so the loss of almost 20 lbs in muscle mass was a huge loss in dress sizes as well as curves. I was pretty used to be a little on the curvy and muscular side. Losing that much mass (due to being a vegan for nearly 8 months; don’t ask). When I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant, I started asking my midwife’s assistant to stop saying my weight out loud when I got weighed, and would routinely turn the other direction when she took my weight. I felt completely healthy, and I didn’t like that they would occasionally make a comment about how much I had gained. I do estimate that I was about 205 when I gave birth. And trust me; it was ALL baby.

I’d like to say that I was much happier with my body before my son was born, but the truth is that I never really was. I look back on that now and remember what it was like to have a stretchmark-free stomach, and regret not relishing the shape of my body while I still had it.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was completely happy the bigger I got with him. I loved the fullness of being pregnant, and relishing the fact that I was totally without any stretching, until I hit 7 months, when I noticed a little cluster above my pelvic region, and that’s when I, much like many other women, completely panicked. It wasn’t long before I realized that there was now no way to stop the inevitable, and luckily I was able to keep from really paying much mind to them, because they were below my belly button, which was over the proverbial hill, where I couldn’t see them.

It wasn’t until after my son was finally born and my stomach deflated that I saw for the first time all the angry red striations all over my belly. It was in the weeks after my son was born that it really sunk in for me how much my body had changed, and how I was most likely never going to be the same.

I spent a lot of the next months avoiding looking directly at myself in the mirror, or really looking at myself the way I used to, almost like it was someone else I was looking at.

I was positively elated when I fond this site, that, like me, the mothers of the world were stretched and a bit saggy, and all finding ourselves trying to come to terms with how much things are different, and what we’ve had to give up for our children.

Each of the stories I have read have been beautiful and inspiring, which is why I chose to share mine as well. Though it’s nothing specific, and sometimes a thing I don’t have to focus on, just the knowledge that both my overly-bloated stomach (which, I confess; I suck in 70% of the time I’m in public and can’t get away with letting it hang out), and my droopy breasts happened because I had my son, comforts me. My boyfriend, who’s never seen me without my mother’s body, still thinks my body is beautifully shaped, and we enjoy being physical together, I have to admit that I am looking forward to a time in the future (which I hope will be near, and not far!), when I am able to slim down a bit more on the weight I put on during my pregnancy.

You may also choose to include:
~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, resulted in 1 live birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12 months (as of 1/29/2010)