Belly

Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Your Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 boy, 2 years and 2 months.
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Hello again shape of a mother! Its been 19 months since my last entry. You can find it here. I’ve meant to do some updates here and there but never got around to them. My life and self image took a completely different turn one day at the beach about a month ago, before I tell you about that let me tell you some other things first. Since my son was born my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. After weighing 175 pounds right before delivery it took me about 2 years to drop all my baby weight and then some!! I am now at about 122-124 pounds. I have days when I feel like the most beautiful woman, wife, and mother ever. While other times I feel soft and squishy and weird.

Now let me tell you about my beach experience. It was my first time back to the beach since I had my son. I went with a couple of my beautiful friends that never had babies. I was at first self conscious and almost thought I wasn’t going to be able to take off my towel when all of a sudden I realized this. EVERYONE HAS STRETCH MARKS! Ladies, I spent so many hours and nights crying about my “ruined” body. I spent so much money on creams, lotions, and fancy doodads. When all of a sudden I found myself surrounded by women of all different shapes and sizes, big small, round, flat, and all having a great time. Baby or no baby, everyone has little imperfections. Its what makes us unique, its what makes us human!

It was at that moment that I really truly realized that yes, my stretch marks really are a badge of honor. I have heard those words used before and they would make me scoff and scrunch my nose. “Badges of honor?? More like we didn’t take good care of ourselves and got too fat during our pregnancies and now we have these ugly marks for the rest of our lives!” These were my exact thoughts any time a woman said those words. I am literally covered in stretch marks from my inner thighs, outer sides, and boobs. (They have faded considerably over the years, and using Jergens gradual tanning lotion has made a HUGE difference.) Guess what world, I am not afraid to admit it. I don’t hide them, I am not ashamed of them. I worked hard for my stretch marks. I worked hard to loose the weight and be happy with my body. I work hard everyday to be the best mom, wife, and woman that I possibly can.

I am glad I went to the beach that day. Am glad that I didn’t continue hiding my stretch marks from the world. The amazed glanced that I got from my friends at my body was an incredible feeling. Hearing pretty much everyday that I don’t even look like I had a baby almost makes me blush. I really did work hard and continue working hard to feel good about myself. I did weight watchers for about a year which taught me how to eat well. I am not on it anymore but I monitor everything that goes in my mouth and try to limit going out and eating to about once a week. I don’t necessarily have any kind of exercise regiment but I am pretty active. I am a happy woman, but it was a long and hard trip to find my happiness.

Keep your heads up ladies. Listen to your men when they tell you that you are truly beautiful, because you are. Look in the mirror and smile and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Tell yourself that your child loves you because of all the love you have to give, not because you look like Gisele. Of course we all have our bad days, our bad nights, our bad hours, but have many more better days. Being a mommy is the most wonderful thing in the world, and you aren’t alone in all your struggles. Thank you for this amazing website.

090310-anon-1

Getting Used to Me (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 11 Comments

2 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage long ago, 1 C-section birth
10 months PP, still breastfeeding
Age: 26

I always wanted to be a mother. I never expected to be a single mother. I had been dating my child’s father for only about a month when I found out I was pregnant. I considered abortion and adoption, but decided that keeping my son was the best thing for me. His father wasn’t much a part of my pregnancy, and so far, he’s not much a part of our lives still. However, my baby is absolutely beautiful. He’s by far and away the best thing that ever happened to me! Every day is now for him, and I wouldn’t change a single part of it, stretch marks and all.

He was a stubborn little fella- decided to join this world 13 days past due. (I wasn’t willing to be induced.) After only dilating to a 6, my cervix actually started to swell shut from the pressure, and I ended up having a C after 21 hours of labor.

I’m still coming to terms with my new body. Pre baby, I was 151 lbs. These days, the scale says 157 lbs, but my shape and my clothes say no way! Everything is different. I went from a size 10 to a size 13. My breasts were a perfect 34D, and now I’m a 36F as a nursing mother. I’ve just started making the effort to get back into shape (this week actually!) but am concerned my tummy will never be the same. My sister has had 3 children (with the exact same gene pool) and her tummy is flat, smooth and seamless. I’ve heard that muscles can separate, and will never return without surgical intervention. I consider it sometimes. However, I’ll see where my fitness plan takes me, and how comfortable I get with my body when I start reaching my goals (not to mention that as a full time mom and student, there’s no way I could afford it.)

Most days, I think I look pretty damn good, especially while clothed. Some days are harder than others. Everest loves to snuggle up in all my body-warmness, and when I really think about it, that’s all that matters.

This is us: (pics)

Second Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

age: 25
pregnancies: 1
births: 1
age of child: 2 1/2

Previous entries here and here.

My daughter will be three in December, which I cannot believe lol. I am finally almost back to my pre-baby weight. I now weight 168 (158) before baby. I am so happy to getting close to my old self. I was scared there for a while that I would never lose the weight and just stuck in that body. I still am not “happy” with the way I look, I’m soft and jiggle a lot, but it could be worse. I know I have to try and find myself beautiful before anyone else can. I do love this site and look at it daily. It just so awesome to be able to look and see other peoples stories and know your not alone! And thank you everybody for sharing your stories and you are all beautiful!

Bittersweet (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 19 Comments

Age: 31
3 Pregnancies and 3 Csections
Ages of Children: 7, 4, and almost 3 years.

I call my story “Bittersweet” because my journey has often felt that way. I’ve struggled with my weight
all my life. I was very active when I was younger and didn’t really gain a lot until college and marriage.
I stayed in size 10s and 12s. At my heaviest I was 250 and wore size 18s. I’ve been on every diet.

Now I’m 31 years old, I weigh 139 pounds, I am 5’7 1/2″, and I wear clothes in sizes 6, 7, and 8.

Here’s what happened:
I’ve had 3 pregnancies where I gained too much weight, and I’ve had 3 csections- the first of which being a perfect scar on the bikini line by an amazing doctor, the second and third cuts were made above the bikini line by not so great doctors causing me to have horrible scars and a lopsided belly.

After my third baby, I decided to get in shape the healthy way. I eat great, strength train, and do cardio.
Long story short, I lost 100 pounds and am now at a weight and size that is smaller than the day I got
married. I finally could wear a bikini, but do you think I would- Hell no.

I’m about at the finish line with my weight loss journey. There’s still 5-10 pounds I’d like to shed.
And what has happened- no I didn’t win a prize- instead, my boobs have completely deflated- they are
not perky and full like when I weighed 160 pounds and higher, my entire body is covered in stretchmarks.
It seems as though new ones appear daily on my boobs, my sides, my butt, and now down my thighs and
legs (which used to be my best feature).

I’m saddened by all of this. I don’t feel sexy at all. I cannot afford any kind of plastic surgery or special
lotions, skin treatments. I often want to gain the weight back- not all of it but enough to get my boobs back
and not be so saggy.

I appreciate everyone who reads this. It saddens me especially because it seems as though I cannot
watch a movie without seeing a beautiful naked woman on it. Men see gorgeous naked women all the time
without even having to try. How can a man appreciate a body like this. My husband says he likes my
body and likes it smaller now, but come on!!! I’m not buying it. I feel disgusting. It’s bittersweet to lose
weight and not love my new body. I hate it worse than when I was overweight.

090110-anon-1

Starting to Get Used to my Post-Baby Body (Charlotte)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, Postpartum, Submissions 2 Comments

I feel so sorry for my husband Andrew.Hes brilliant though at reassuring me.We’d not long came back from our honeymoon in August 2009 when I found out I was pregant,I was so happy as we’d wanted kids for ages and didnt think we’d get pregnant so quick!!I loved watching my stomach get bigger and know our son was growing and getting strong but I did worry a bit as I was always a size 8-10(UK) and thought he wouldn’t fit through my pelvis I was that slim.Growing up I was one of the lucky girls who could eat what they wanted and never have to exercise and still stay a size 10.I slathered on the creams and lotions to my stomach in fear of getting the dreaded stretch marks but forgot to do my hips,bum and thighs….D’oh!By the time I was due to give birth I was into a size 14 clothes and at the time it didnt bother me,I just used to steal Andrew’s tops and jumpers,it did bother me that I couldnt wear my wedding ring as my hands had swollen up that much!!When I was 2 weeks overdue I was taken in to be induced.I was in labour for about 11-12 hours and eventually after a forceps delivery,Lewis was born at 3.29am and weighing 9lb 5oz!!He was absolutely gorgeous and his daddy’s double.I breastfed to begin with which helped to lose a wee bit of the baby weight.I did that for about 1 month but it was too much so he went onto bottles.I knew I wasnt going to ping back into shape but still felt bummed when I was doing lots of walking and running around after Lewis that I still wasn’t losing any weight.I also felt embarressed or nervous to be around my skinnier friends or even family members because I felt so fat.A size 14 is not that big a size but being a size 10 for years I felt really awkward and ugly in this new version of my body.I’d cry at adverts for Tesco with women modelling dresses because I couldnt fit into them and I was convinced Andrew didnt find me attractive anymore as I wasnt the same shape I’d been for our 7 years together.He would reassure me he still did and that he loves me even more now as I gave him our beautiful son.And he sees my stretchmarks and tummy apron as badges I should wear with honour in having gone through pregnancy and labour and all its hassles and pain.Now 3 months down the line Im starting to accept my shape but I am trying to slowly improve it by gentle exercise and healthy-ish eating.And at the end of the day does it really matter how I look??I have a beautiful son and a loving husband who love me just the way I am. x

Age:25
Pregnancies:2
Births:1
3 Months Postpartum

Fanny Pack (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 14 Comments

Im 21 and had 3 childern in 2 years.After having my son I got stretchmarks below my belly button and there was slight sagging. I dieted and exercised for a year untill someone said how far along are you. I went bulimic and got down to 98 lbs then recovered and went to my pre pregnancy weight of 112 lbs. Then i found out i was pregnant again, but this time with twins. My stomach is now severly deformed and the stretch marks are now above my belly button, I still have a buldge and a flap of skin that hangs over, its my fanny pack. My relationship with my childerns father isnt the same because of my belly. I cant wear jeans, I cant even wear form fitting shirts.I cant beleive I cant go shopping at hollister anymore or wear a bikini,I have to wear granny clothes, I might as well get those long night gowns and wear those for the rest of my life. :( Im constanly depressed, I love my Childern but im bitter, i have friends that were 100 lbs and got to 180 lbs being pregnant, then going right back down to 100 lbs in 2-3 weeks and they dont have a single stretch mark and on top of it thier babies were 7 1/2 to 8 lbs. I hate it, ive pulled myself away from them because when i see them I cry, Them wearing cute hollister clothes with flat tummys pushing thier child in a stoller.I dont like going anywhere anymore becuase of my body,I was a social butterfly,loved hanging out with people,going places. Im not sure how to deal with it and never will.

The photo with the green shirt is “1 month before finding out I was pregnant with my son.”
The photo in the white undies laying on the floor is “after having my son,a little bit of stretch marks”
The other two photos are after having my twins.

I Still Can’t Believe It (Lucia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 10 Comments

20 yrs old
1 pregnancy 1 birth
8 weeks pp

My story is short, I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend noticed before I did. I had a rather easy pregnancy, no nausea but lots of heartburn, I started swelling after week 31 and for some reason I had a pretty small belly and started showing at 6 months. In one of our first appointments the doctor said I wouldn’t show a lot because my abdominal muscles were really strong… I honestly don’t know how that happened since I haven’t worked out since junior high and even then it was 70 minutes every week, and I went to great lengths to avoid it.

I ate as healthy as I could, I drank as much water as my shrinking bladder would allow me, I put lotion on once a day, too lazy for more and against all advice I scratched my belly like a madman the last month. I went into labor naturally at 39 weeks and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who was 7 pounds 10 ounces. It was traumatizing, I got an epidural and it only worked on the right side of my body, I could feel everything in the other side, at some point while I was pushing, right in the middle of a contraction
I heard scissors, I was deadly afraid of having an episiotomy and damn right! It hasn’t quite healed yet…

I look in the mirror now and I can’t believe I had a baby, my hips are a little wider and my boobs a little bigger but the rest is the same. I didn’t get any stretch marks and my skin popped right back when I was a week pp, I can’t believe my feet are not swollen and that I can actually see the lower side of my belly, I can’t believe I have my body back, so familiar from my crooked navel to the stretch marks I always had on my butt and my third nipple (which also got darker and bigger, lol)

I hold my baby and I still can’t believe has real, I can’t believe we are over all of the issues we had with nursing, I see how big hes getting and I cant believe its still all me, no bottles, no formula, just me. I was so afraid my boobs would sag, I had thought about nursing him for only a year, then I found out the recommended minimum is two years and I was ok with that and its been such an amazing experience that I think ill just let him wean on his own, even if my breasts end up hanging so low then can sit on my
knees! It will be absolutely worth it.

Pics are me the day i went into labor, me and my little man, me at 1 week pp, me at 8 weeks and my cute little bunny the day we first took him out for a stroll

Updated here.

A Few Years On, Another Long Post (Jo)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 29 Comments

~Age: 40
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies and 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Age 4 and 2
(almost 2 years post-partum)

It has taken me a while to come up with the courage to post this, but it marks the beginning of the new me as I can no longer carry on being the old me.

I have posted before …

Unfortunately the photos no longer appear and I no longer have them after my computer was stolen. Needless to say, I looked better then than I do after 2 children. The scars you see on my body explained in
my previous post. I don’t want to explain them again.

Following the birth of my first child I suffered with severe post-natal depression. It didn’t happen straight away but when my daughter was around 8 months old. After a long time caring for my daughter, with my husband overseas, my family living half way round the world, trying to hold down a job when my daughter kept getting sick at childcare mentally I broke down.

My husband returned from overseas to a mental wreck. I was slowly recovering when I accidentally fell pregnant with no. 2. This was the first time we had unprotected sex in our twenty year relationship. My
husband, on the few occasions we chose not to use a condom, would normally withdraw. This time, without consultation he failed to withdraw. I was 38 years old and I wasn’t ready for a child but spiritually I couldn’t face terminating the pregnancy.

So pregnant and still suffering from PPD I carried on… my relationship with my husband has slowly disintegrated as I loathed the person I had become. I didn’t like my depressed personality, the flabby mothers body that failed to birth my first child as it should, failed to feed her. I suffer from horrendous PMT which only serves to make matters worse. I chose an elective c-section for my second. It wasn’t what I wanted but I knew I couldn’t take my body failing to do what it should again and it also meant I could schedule help on a planned birth day.

I’ve found coping with another child that I knew I wasn’t ready for very, very hard.

I look at my body and I don’t know who’s it is. I don’t recognise it.

I don’t know who I am either but for sure for someone who is married with 2 children I know I am intensely lonely.

So today – I say goodbye to this body and I decide to work to loose the excess flab and maybe I can find the old me … and get back my husband .. my life.

First Time Mom at 31 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 10 Comments

I have NEVER found myself attractive. I always thought,, once i accept the fact that I’m an unattractive person,,I would feel much better about myself and not worry about it so much. For some reason though, I got a decent amount of attention from boys,, I was the funny girl, but was too shy to really ever commit to a relationship. Had my first real kiss at 19, and tried to make it to marriage before having sex. I was 26 and he ended up being the man I was dreaming about. We’ve now been married almost four years :) I have always been petite with a flat stomach and a big round booty. I even adopted the nickname J.Lo. My husband has been a big self-esteem booster, always calling me little pet names like sexybutt and beautiful. But I’ve still never felt that way about myself. No Biggie I thought. After two years of wonderful marriage, we decided to start trying to get pregnant. Me not getting any younger at the age of 29 and him only 25. I’ve always LOVED children. They are so fun and spontaneous and just themselves. I taught Sunday school and worked with teens in church and have always been a kid at heart. Thought I would love being a mom and be a great one at that.After six months of trying, i was getting very discouraged, no one blood related to me ever had a problem getting pregnant, and it seemed every time i would start my cycle, some young girl with no boyfriend, or friend who wasnt even trying would announce their pregnancy. I tried to remain positive , but it was very hard,, finally after a year of trying, i found out I was pregnant!! We and our families were so happy. Everything was going smoothly, no morning sickness, a healthy amount of weight gain. Then with my glucose screening, found out I had gestational diabetes. I was heartbroken and felt like a failure. My husband and family were very supportive and things started going smoothly again. I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. I wasnt happy when i found out that they wouldnt let me go past my due date,, and that inductions can sometimes lead to C sections. I took very good care of myself,, watching my diet and exercising. I gained a total of 26 pounds.. starting at 102 lbs at five feet tall. My water broke six days before my due date! I was soooo happy! 10 hours of labor later,, and still only dialated 3, i was NOT. I had a 101 temperature and was getting pumped full of antibiotics and was now put on a Pitocin drip. After two hours of that and only dialated to four,, I decided to get the epidural. I wanted to be strong for pushing. Which would never happen. My fever went up to 102 and my cervix was beginning to swell. After 18 hours of labor and a dialation of 7, they decided on a C section. I wanted to cry, but I also wanted my baby to be safe and healthy. My operation was done in under a half an hour and I got to meet my Beautiful baby girl weighing 6.5 lbs!!! She was finally here.

Recovery was hard,, but with a wonderful husband, supportive friends and family and God,, I made it through PPD without any medication. I now am working through a big battle with my self esteem. This site has already helped me soooo much! I still have about five pounds to lose. The scar doesnt really bother me,, but my softer boobs,, extra cellulite and pouchy belly do. I have posted pics of full term pregnancy,,, one of 4 weeks pp holding my girl and now 3 months pp. You are all awesome! Thanks for sharing your stories and being an encouragement to all these mothers! God Bless!

Updated here.

Almost Satisfied (Shahida)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

I first got pregnant at 18 and I weighed about 135 lbs. I guess I gained around 30lbs but was lucky enough to lose the weight pretty fast. When I was 21 I got pregnant with my son I was about 155-160 because of the Mirena IUD =(. I gained about 38-43lb and was 198 when I gave birth at a day short of 40 weeks. I’m in the military so I had to lose the weight quickly but was discouraged because I didn’t like what I looked like. now that it’s 8 months later I’m almost satisfied. I weigh between 150-153, just trying to get to 145.

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2/2 cesareans
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 31/2 & 8 months

Pic #1 is before I became a mom
Pic #2 is 7 1&2 months preggo with my daughter
Pic #3 is 18 months after baby 1
Pic #4 is day before we found out I was preggo with my son
Pic #5 is during pregnancy
Pic #6 is now