Belly

1 Pregnancy, 1 Birth (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

I was 16 when I got pregnant. I was just starting to live out my life after years of being shy and to myself. I had met the father of the baby about a year before I got pregnant. Luckily the father of my daughter is really good to me, loves our daughter and where going on two years and 1 month on Saturday.Pregnancy was complication free. Her birth was a pain. She 2 weeks past due, so I decided to go ahead with an induction. She still didn’t want to come out so I was stuck with a C-section. (scar is hardly noticeable) I was up and going after a week. Though here I am 5 weeks postpartum still can’t do vigorous exercise. I’m blessed with a beautiful family now. Honestly, it was worth the toll it took on my oh so young body. Lol. I’m learning to accept the things I can’t change, and change the things I can. Thankfully I haven’t had any stress what so ever . As soon as I got pregnant things sort of fell in to place. All with the exception of my body. See I’ve always have self-image issues. When I was in Elementary and a little bit of middle school, I was a bit chubbier than others. I developed bulimia and dropped a whole lot of weight! Even then I had the idea that I was saggy, and disgusting. Of course it didn’t help that I was always getting cheating on and told that I was not good enough.. “men always think they can do better until you leave them dry(;” Lol. Well anyways, even my father (douche bag) Always told me I was fat, & that my arms resemble chicken’s wings. (whatever) I started pregnancy at around 137 and at my last DR’s appointment I was weighing 180. :O holy cow that’s 47 pounds. I didn’t mind much about the weight it was the stretch marks that really got to me. I would BATHE in cocoa cutter, and Palmer’s Stretch Mark Solution night and day. Obviously it was a waste of money! Anyways, while I’m absolutely in love with my daughter, I have my days where I break down and start crying. My body will never be the same, I won’t ever feel sexy again. My boyfriend doesn’t mind them, but he gets annoyed of my constantly thinking he’s not attracted anymore, and of the fact I don’t stop slapping Cocoa butter on. I lost about 25 since I’ve left the hospital. I’d still like to lose another 25. I’m doing this the healthy way this time!! Other than that I’m blessed with a healthy baby. :)

1st picture: About 7 months pregnant
2nd:40 weeks
3rd: Pre-preggs
4: 2-3 weeks PP
5th: 5 weeks PP:

Bearing It (Christina Plant)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 26 Comments

My last entry was about where my heart is and how our physical flaws should not prevent us from celebrating who we are on the inside. I showed photos of myself from a couple of different races and my shorts fit so that the stretched hanging skin was not visible. When I wrote that entry, I had run several race distances: 5k, 15k, 10 miler, 20k, and half marathon.

I am proud to be a mother of three sons. I am proud to say that I worked hard to regain confidence in my physical appearance and in my athletic capabilities. (Actually, I had no athletic capabilities before I was a mother- but that is another story.) I earned my position at every starting line with my own drive and determination. This year (the year that I turn 36) I decided I was ready to raise the bar. Did you ever just get the feeling that even though something seemed nearly impossible that you could do it? When something within you that you can’t describe steadfastly believes that you can?

I began training for my first marathon in February of this year. For those who do not know, a marathon is 26.2 miles long. Any other race that is not 26.2 miles is NOT a marathon. Only 1% of the population ever completes a marathon. I used to say I would never do it. But this year, something made me certain that I could. I know a few people who have completed a marathon. They are not better or stronger or more capable than me. If they could train hard and get it done, then there was no sensible reason to say that I could not. I was on fire for this goal. I knew it was going to be difficult and feel impossible at some points but I also know something about myself: if I want it enough, I will get it. (And I am not better or stronger or more capable than anyone else who aspires to a goal. If you want it- whatever “it” might be, start working. If you don’t stop working even when it sucks, then you will get it.) Wishing for, wondering, thinking about or planning is not the same as WORKING to get it. Once I stopped all that and started working, unsurprisingly, I got results.

I ran my first marathon in Lake Placid, NY (that’s right- Adironacks!) on June 12, 2011. I ran the whole thing (with the exception of a few steep downhill portions) and finished strong. Every mile was dedicated to someone I loved and that is what kept me going for 26.2 miles of rolling hills. The runners that surrounded me were such an inspiration. Every person that steps out to the start impresses me. I don’t care if you finish in 3 hours or 8 hours. Everyone has a reason for why they are there that goes deeper than the actual physical run. What an honor to stand among all of these bold determined people and begin this grueling but glorious journey together.

All types of people run. It’s fascinating and liberating to see that sheer will and determination has no standard shape or size even for this extreme distance. If you want it, get it, right? Don’t wait until your belly is perfectly flat. Don’t wait until your arms are toned. Don’t wait until you are a size 4. You’ll always find some other flaw anyway so celebrate who you are inside AND outside now. This was part of the reason I decided to run a marathon- I wanted my body to do something amazing. I wanted to feel what it is like to believe and endure and keep moving (literally) toward my goal even when it seems impossible and even when I didn’t want to keep going. To believe beyond reason when the only reason to believe is to show yourself that you can- that you will- if you want to enough.

During this race, I noticed something. There were very few who were not lean or aesthetically ideal who stripped down for the sake of comfort. I tend to take the “when in Rome do as the Romans do” stance on things, so I did not shed my top layer. This was mainly because I was wearing new shorts that seemed to ride lower than I’m used to and I didn’t want to be self conscious of the stretched skin on my stomach while I was running. I was hot. Then it down poured for 40 minutes and I was soaked to the bone. But I ran in a soaking wet shirt instead of bearing it in my sports bra and shorts like so many others did.

What if I didn’t care? What if the others who weren’t “perfect” didn’t care either? What if we showed the world and the media that we are happy with who we are and that we don’t need to hide or alter our bodies to feel amazing and alive? Why do I care? I’m a mother. I’m proud of what my body has accomplished and I’m happy to tell any woman that I love my body even though I am flawed from pregnancy and I am always willing to show her if she doesn’t believe me. I actually thought about this for awhile I was running and wondered how I could change this. How could we all change it and remove the silly notion that women’s bodies are better when artificially modified? Am I the only one that thinks it’s silly to wear a bra that pushes your breast up to your neck? Wouldn’t it be frightening if your boobs were really that high? Wouldn’t it be tiresome to have to hold your baby up to them while nursing?

Anyway, I crossed the finish line and was overjoyed and beyond proud. This was the moment that I spent months training for. This was what running over 400 miles during training was all about. No one did this but me. So I had to do something even more amazing. I registered for another marathon just two weeks after this one. I wanted to qualify for a Marathon Maniacs membership and one way to do that is to run two marathons in 16 days or less.

I found myself in Pennypack Park in Philadelphia, Pa two short weeks later struggling through the same distance. It was much hotter (mid 80’s) and I was literally drenched in sweat by mile 9. I saw the same trend- the lean, tight-bodied, and young stripped down so as to be more comfortable in the heat. The chubby, old, and disproportionate tended to stay covered, with rare exception. I had already decided that I would strip down too. Who else was out there running their second marathon (ever) just two weeks after their first? Who else among these runners raised on a diet of ramen noodles, rice, and canned vegetables who barely passed phys ed and never dared to participate in school sports? Who else had three children and was in the best shape of their life just as these children are entering adolescence?

So I did what I should’ve done in Lake Placid. I took my top layer off. I purposefully wore the same shorts that were too low to hide my lower abdomen. AND I purposefully wore a sports bra that had no padding/enhancement/etc. If I don’t fearlessly do this, what am I saying to myself? That I’m not good enough? Why? Because I didn’t see the purpose of having a surgeon implant sacks of saline into my chest? Because I believe it’s illogical to have a surgeon carve out the skin that stretched during of the precious time that I carried my sons? I need to mull over the previous paragraph again if any part of me believes that I’m not good enough. No one needs to hide. Yes we should all strive to improve. Better yet- strive to do something amazing. Something that amazes you. Something you have always wanted to accomplish or something you never thought that you could do. Work your ass off. Do not give up. Take all the time that you need. But for goodness sakes, do not hide. If you love who you are and who you strive to become, please do not hide what is inside or outside. Bear it. And be grateful and proud. Who’s with me?

It’s the Journey (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Infertility, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 15 Comments

“It’s the journey” is what I tell myself.

I’m 27 years old and feel so…old. I have a four year old and a 15 month old and have been breastfeeding for a total of four years now. When I was a young girl, middle school age, I remember women telling me (lots of women) to enjoy ‘what I have’ now while I have it. I recall them telling me I’ll never know how good I’ve got it until it’s gone. At the time I thought these were the stories of crazy “old” women who were likely blind because, I was fat. My belly was rounded out and my hips were curved and I was teased with the name ‘torpedo tits.’

Sure, I could still feel sexy (given the guy I was with found me sex-worthy).

Secretly, I’ll admit, if I was home alone and looking into the mirror I felt fucking HOT. I loved my curves and my fleshy bits.

Two children later and I feel soft. Stretched. Saggy. Old.

My first pregnancy at 22 was amazing. I never felt so confident, so sexy, so attractive. My belly was adorable and adorned with only a few light stretch marks and I only gained 25 pounds. My home birth with that baby was amazing and left me feeling in awe of my postpartum body and all of its wonders.

This was a short- lived feeling.

My partner and I were not prepared for the life of an unmarried, postpartum, needing to grow up some more couple. However, we were dedicated and smoothed our lives and our routines and did our much needed growing up. Then we decided to try for number two.

It took sixteen months to conceive our second child compared to a month to conceive the first. This secondary infertility was hard on our psyches and eventually we decided to give up ‘trying’ and started to plan a wedding instead. I was pregnant a week later.

This time, I gained 50 pounds and a highway of stretch marks, deep purple and red on my belly, thighs, and hips. My breasts ballooned as did the rest of me. The pulling forward weight of pregnancy seemed to bring out my Great Grandma Helen Hump on my neck. This birth was hard, baby presented with a nuchal hand and I was in much more pain than I had anticipated based on my first birth experience. I felt disappointed and let down with my body after this birth (despite it doing what it needed to in the end, delivering a healthy baby at home in under 6 hours).

15 months postpartum I have my good days and many bad. I have two amazing daughters that I want to be an equally amazing role model for.

I don’t shave. Razors are CRAZY expensive and it’s completely unnecessary. If my body was born and made this way then THIS is a woman’s body- bushy hair and all. I am worthy of love, respect, and dignity just as I am, without painting, plucking, and tweaking.

This is what I’m trying to teach my girls. Ah, there’s the rub. I am also teaching myself. I don’t feel this way and yet this is what I am trying to teach by living the example. I never ever verbalize that I feel fat and gross most days. I try hard to be naturally confident and therefore beautiful but I don’t feel sexy to my partner and I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin or hair or clothes.

We’ve resumed wedding plans. I knew I didn’t feel good but it wasn’t until shopping for a wedding dress that I realized how BIG I’ve gotten. At 22 when I got pregnant with my preschooler I weighed 135 pounds. Two children and 5 years later I’m a soft, apple shaped 172. My breast are huge and pendulous, my nipples like the erasers at the end of those giant pencils (my loving partner pointed this out),my arms are fleshy, my belly skin sags down onto itself, my thighs rub so much they chafe in the heat of the summer.

It’s hard to be an example physically and not be quite “there” yet mentally.

But I’m trying, I’m learning.

I’ll keep telling myself, ‘it’s the journey.’

My Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Birth, Cesarean, Child Loss, Children with Health Complications, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Spousal/Partner Abuse, Submissions 17 Comments

23yrs old –postpartum 8 months.
Angel Jae born to heaven, mum of girl and boy, step mum of girl and boy.

I found myself thinking back as I watched my sick child in deep slumber in the early hours of this morning. I couldn’t remember the life I had before one, then three, then four little lives were following in the footsteps of my own life and experiences. Waking after the little amount of sleep I got that night has brought me to the place I am right now. A million memories running through my heart and my mind. My story is one of emotion, happiness in the birth of my children, the horror, abuse and fear of my past and the excitement and wonder of where my life is going.

I am a mother of an angel and four… well sort of.

I suppose to do this correctly I need to start from the very beginning. I am a young mother. This is Jae’s story. I was almost 17 when I had the flutter of nerves and excitement waiting for that pregnancy test to say yes or no. In my head if it said yes I was already a mother. I come from a good home with loving parents and I was in a stable relationship that I had been in going on 5 years by this stage. So a baby was not something I was scared of, in fact I wanted nothing more. There it was those two little lines ‘Pregnant’. What do I do? Who do I tell first? How will they react? My fiancé… Anger, rage, hurt. 19 weeks in, we’re having a boy. He snaps. He’d hit me before, I should’ve known he’d do it again. Three broken ribs, two black eyes, a broken wrist and My precious Angel Jae watching over me forever more. I still think about him and miss him each and every day. The pain is still as raw as if it were new.

He was sorry, He didn’t mean to hurt me. He wouldn’t leave, I couldn’t escape.

One year later, I’m late. Crying, alone and terrified at the possibility. I was in the dirty bathrooms at the local shopping centre, my hands shaking as I ripped off the wrapper. The next five minutes seemed to last for an eternity. There they were, clear as day… those two little lines, ‘pregnant’. This is Rose’s story. He is furious this time, “Get rid of IT before I do”. 14 weeks, My escape! He’s a cheater as well as a woman beater. The ‘other woman’ probably saved my life. I’m petrified with every strange feeling and my ever expanding belly. He found me. The threats and torment continued from him right through my pregnancy, “I will get you. I will kidnap and kill it rather than pay for it”. The stress bringing on contractions and high blood pressure, but my Rose she is strong and she is safe. She was born by emergency caesarean after complications weighing almost 10pounds. She is a beautiful child living with a disability. She is the reason I ate, slept, moved. She is the reason I survived.

We call my stretch marks “Mummy Marks” and believe you me I have mummy marks all over! And my “Smile” is a little bit wonky but Rose says that it’s the smile God gave me because the one on my face wasn’t big enough to show how much I loved her. My “smile” is My Breasts – the eyes that in her eyes only a mummy has. My stretched and misshapen belly button is the nose, which she loves to tickle and finally my wonky caesarean scar makes my smile. The smile that God gave me in the hands of the surgeon that brought my child safely into the world and is a permanent reminder of the memory that makes me smile and fill to the brim with so much love that the smile on my face just wasn’t enough.

Time kept passing as it always has. I met a man. Could I trust him? Will he hurt me? Will he understand what I’ve been through? Most importantly… Will he accept my child?

He has children too… two of them. A girl, Mary and a boy, Robert. Slowly and cautiously things move forward. He proposes, a carefully planned event with all the children playing a part, at my favourite restaurant in front of a full house of diners. Just like from the start of our relationship he was treating me as if I was the most important thing in the world, as if I were a princess. We move in together and almost immediately there they are again those two little lines ‘Pregnant’ but this time it’s different. It’s exciting and happy and I can share it. What a valentine’s present that news was!

We’re having a boy. 22 weeks in, there’s a car accident, where is the bleeding coming from? Is my baby alright? Phillip’s story. 23 weeks and we are in birth suite being told to get ready. 4cm dilated, Wait – Stop everything! My body and I believe the grace of God stopped everything. We heard the galloping of 10000 horses and we cried together. He’s alright, he’s safe tucked in tight beneath my heart. I stayed in hospital and every day got longer and longer and it was hard to cope. 8 trips to birth suite, drugs… oh the drugs steroids for baby, blood thinners, pain killers, dyes, contrasts, anaesthetics and last but not least epidural and caesarean. We made it! 35 weeks. 5pounds of amazing baby boy in my arms.

It’s funny you know, for as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mother. I have always wanted four children. I could never in my wildest imagination describe what it feels like inside when I look at my children. All four of them, because they are mine each and every one of them. I love them. The shape of a mother to me is not only the physical but the emotional. What makes a mother whole – her children. They are a part of her living independently outside of her own body.

I don’t know if this is a story for this site, but it is my story. I am a woman and I am strong. I am a survivor. I am a mother and I live for my children. I’m not ready yet to let my face be seen. There is always fear in the back of my mind and my greatest concern is protecting my daughter from the threats made against her.

Hard to Feel Good (Chelsea)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

Hey there, I’m a 22 year old first time mother of a 7 month old beautiful little girl. While pregnant with my daughter I gained 80Lbs making my weight a whopping 220. At my age I feel like being a mom has certain expectations, one of them being that you shoudn’t look like you just gave birth. In our society it’s almost frowned upon to look like a “mom” and have pregnancy battle scars.

I have countless peers with children that don’t have one stretch mark, have no extra loose skin, and still wear two piece bathing suits. I have friends that are pregnant that would hyperventalate if their pregnancy left any physical scars on their body. That’s hard for me to see when I have gotten stretch marks on literally every part of my body including my belly, breasts, thighs, calves, upper arms, and butt, not to mention my permantent double chin.

When I first gave birth everyone reassured me that the scars would shrink and get lighter, I just needed to give it a few months, yet they seem to have gotten worse. Meanwhile I still need to lose 40Lbs to return to my prepregnancy weight.

It’s now summer and all I want to do is take my daughter swimming but I’m embarassed to go out in a bathing suit looking and feeling the way I do. I realise that there are a lot of moms that feel the same way I do, but where are they? When I’m out at the beach, or a store, all I see are these skinny, flat stomached young moms.It makes me feel like I should look a certain way being a young mother and that’s the hardest part of it all.

I feel like if there weren’t such harsh physical expectations on women then I would feel differently about my body, but when I’m drowned by images of tall, dark, slender, skinny women after birthing a child, I just feel defeated.

This website makes me feel better, actually being able to see that I’m not the only one whose body has been so affected by pregnancy. For the past 7 months I’ve been so hard on myself and the way I look so it’s nice to feel like it’s normal. Thank You.

Mommy Belly (Sarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 22 Comments

I’m 26 with 3 pregnancies, 2 births. I have a 4 year old son and 5 months and 2 week old daughter. I was 21 when I had my first child and I weighed 150 pre pregnancy, I wasn’t the skinniest I have ever been but I liked the way my body looked. I wore form fitting clothes and bikinis and didn’t even think twice about it. I gained 50lbs during my first pregnancy and postpartum I weighed 180lbs then gained back 10lbs a few months after the pregnancy, 40lbs over my pre pregnancy weight. It took me about 2 years to start loosing weight. I lost 35lbs but I still had my mommy belly with stretch marks and flabby skin. About 8 months after loosing my weight I became pregnant with my daughter. I had a difficult pregnancy with my daughter, I Went in to preterm labor with her at 32 weeks and was in the hospital till I gave birth at 36 weeks via repeat c-section. I only gained 25 lbs with my daughter. Postpartum I weighed 170lbs and currently still do, weighing 15lbs over my pre 2nd pregnancy weight.

I loved being pregnant and having a baby belly, I get baby belly fever in stead of baby fever! I miss having that cute little round belly with my sweet lil baby in side kicking and squirming around! I wish having a mommy belly was a fun as having a baby belly! I am working on losing 25 more lbs right now but what ever I do, I cant loose this mommy belly and I’m having trouble losing this post pregnancy weight again! My husband is currently deployed over seas and will be home in October. I am trying my hardest to lose this weight and my mommy belly with it but it just isn’t working that well! I want to surprise him when he gets home, I know he doesn’t care if I have mommy belly or a tight skinny belly. But It bugs me and I want to look good for him! I have been stressing over this for the last few weeks and I know I shouldn’t stress about it but I do….

Has any one had trouble with losing weight and your mommy belly after pregnancy? also does any one have tips on how to tighten and tone my stomach so its not so flabby. I do crunches and a ton or ab work outs but its not working. Most my friends have returned to their pre pregnancy weight and body’s with in 6 months of there pregnancy. I so wish it was that easy for me! How long after pregnancy did it take any of you to get back to your pre pregnancy weight and body?

photos
1st pic- pre pregnancies, 2nd pic- first pregnancy, 3rd pic-after first pregnancy, 4th pic- second pregnancy, 5th and 6th pics- what my tummy is now

Why Me? (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 15 Comments

Age~18 (17 when pregnant)
Number of pregnancies/births~1
Age of children/PP~8 weeks

I was 17 and had just started my senior year when I first found out I was pregnant. As you would have guessed I was very scared and cried lots over the subject. Loads of thoughts soared through my head, but instantly I knew I wanted to keep my baby. I was pressured by my family to stay in school and on top of my game. In the end I am very thankful because I graduated with straight A’s even though I was pregnant my ENTIRE senior year. My boyfriend and I had a kind of rocky relationship at first, maybe because we were together only 4 months before I got preggo but now we have been together a year and 4 months and still going strong. :) I don’t know what I would do without his help and support. Anyways, I had a generally happy and healthy pregnancy. I wasn’t (too) moody and not very sick either. The only problems were my back pain, swelling and I gained almost 50 pounds. Well and the feeling self conscious of being pregnant in High School, even though everyone told me I was the cutest pregnant person ever. When I went into my first sonogram we were both hoping for a boy. But we ended up with a baby girl instead. You get what you get, right? At 39 weeks I was induced so I could make it safely to graduation four days later. Checking into the hospital I was terrified…so many things could go wrong or I was definitely coming home with a baby girl. They had to ripen my cervix, since I was only 1 1/2 cm, before they hooked me up to pitocin. So they stuck the pill inside and about an hour later I was feeling mild contractions. Although I didn’t know they were mild, so I thought that was the limited amount of pain I would feel. I was like, “I can handle this, no problem!” Boy, was I completely wrong…after they started the pitocin my contractions were horrible. I cried, and cried. Especially when they broke my water. Luckily, I could recieve the epidural shortly after that and slept for about 3 more hours before I had to push. 30 minutes of pushing and a horrid episiotomy later I gave birth vaginally to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. So overall, I was lucky with my pregnancy, and my delivery with the minor exception of my cut. When I was moved to my room I was forced to go pee, which was the most painful experience of my life. Standing up and walking sucked too. But what was worse was looking into the mirror the first time and noticing my stomach was still big, and I had purple lines almost everywhere. I broke down and thought, “why me? why did this happen to me? It has to be my fault because I ate too much, or because I didn’t exercise at all because this, because that.” I had never seen anyone with stretch marks, and I don’t know any girls that have gotten them from being pregnant. It really hurt. Not only to dislike myself, but to know it was my fault that I did. When my boyfriend helped me into the shower I was scared of his reaction to how I looked. I will admit I cried over it, it hurt so much. He always tells me I’m beautiful and not to worry because he will always love me no matter how I look. I know he means it but I still wish I could feel good about myself. I never appreciated what I had before pregnancy, and this must be my punishment now…Although I have lost almost all of the weight (except for about 10 pounds) I am still have marks and saggy boobs.

I want to continue my schooling and continue to give my little girl everything she needs. I love her more than anything and I love being a mom, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

1st picture ~2 weeks before giving birth
2nd & 3rd ~ side stretch marks
4th & 5th ~ 8 weeks PP
6th~ Today
7th~ Me and Aales
8th~My baby girl: Aales (Uh-Lease) Jaedan Brack

Summer Lovin’ (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous posts here and here.

My daughter will be 3 months old on the 4th of July. That is coming way too fast for me. I really thought 6 weeks after birth I would be back to pre-pregnancy…Seems like every girl I know bounces right back. I lost 35 pounds in the hospital after I had her. I still am weighing 12 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. I know they say “9 months to gain, 9 months to lose” but I always thought I would be different. I am disappointed in myself for not working out. She is sleeping all night now! From 9pm-6am but she keeps me so busy during the day and isn’t a napper. So, we are always playing and doing things during the day. Then by the time the evening comes I am beat. I really need to find the strength in me to start working out again. I used to be in pretty good shape.

I try to tell myself that none of that matters. My wonderful husband loves me and thinks I am beautiful and my daughter will always look up to me just like I looked up to my mom and still do today. I want her to grow up knowing that all women are beautiful and that I am not ashamed of my body. My stretch marks are the marks of my love for her and my husband. I gave up my youthful looking body to give her life and to give my husband a daughter. We are a family now and my body is what made that happen.

I was so afraid when I became pregnant that I was going to end up with stretch marks on my stomach. I rubbed myself down with every kind of stretch mark cream that exists in hopes of keeping them away. I checked my stomach and had my husband look where I couldn’t see to make sure I hadn’t developed them yet. I was clear of stretch marks by the time I went into the hospital to be induced! Yay, I was so happy! J Right after I gave birth to her though, and I was in the post partum room, I got up to take a shower and SURPRISE. These lovely little marks had appeared under my belly button. I cried and cried to my husband and he told me I was crazy. He said they weren’t that bad and that I got off really lucky. Everyone told me that. I wouldn’t believe them for anything. I thought it was the end of the world. A few weeks after my daughter’s birth, I just decided not to care anymore. Why was I so hung up on it anyway? My daughter was growing up right before my eyes and my husband was dying for my affection and I was just too distracted to notice!

Well, enough of that. I am done feeling sorry for myself or being down about the way my body looks. I am a woman! I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! I am more in love with my husband than I ever have been. Our relationship is better than ever, so obviously my body is not an issue for him. Why is it for me? The stupid media tries to convince me to be skinny right after birth. Sorry, but I am not one of those women that go in for a scheduled C-section and gets a tummy tuck right after. I am not “too posh to push”. I gave birth to my daughter naturally and nobody can take that empowering experience from me. Every woman that has been through pregnancy and birth (c-section or not) should be very proud of themselves because that is a great accomplishment and one of the hardest things on the human body. So, obviously we aren’t going to come out of it mark free! We are going to have marks and scars because our bodies were put through hell.

My daughter is my world. I never want to let her see my insecurities about my body. So, I am starting today. Before she is old enough to be aware of me covering myself up, I am stopping. I am getting out in the sun and wearing a bikini. That’s right, I said bikini. I am going to say to the world, (Or just everyone at the pool) “Hey, this is the shape of a mother, and if you don’t like it, that is YOUR problem, because I am beautiful.” I encourage all of you to do the same, for yourselves, your partners, and your children. We can change the way the world sees mothers, we just have to stop hiding.

Picture 1- Me just got back from the pool
Picture 2- Kiss it society!
Picture 3- Me and my beautiful daughter
Picture 4- The loves of my life :)

Mom of Two (Kirsty)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 8 Comments

Number of pregnancies -2
Number of births- 2 Births
Age of my children- 8 & 5
Age- 31

I have visited this site numerous times over the years and shared it with many moms. I love seeing all the different stories and struggles because it makes you feel somewhat normal.

I gave birth to my son when I was 23 and had my daughter at 26. I gained 50 pounds with each of my kids. Before I became pregnant I had a cute little figure at 5’3″ and 123 pounds. After I had my son and saw my body go through so many changes, I thought I was done. For years I struggled with my body image. I finally discovered clean eating and weights. I used to be a cardio junky (still sort of.) I love to run in half marathons (maybe a full one someday) and try new things. I have to mix things up. I am very self conscious about my belly area. I love to wear a bikini to the pool to get tan on my tummy because I think it will look better. I feel like people will look at me like I’m gross for even considering a bikini. I’ve come to the point in my life where I feel a little more confident but still have a long way to go. I’ve been trying to find every solution out there to avoid plastic surgery. I have loose skin (like majority of us do) and no exercise will ever take that away. I’m back to my 123 pound figure but through the journey its not the same. I feel that my marks are my constant reminder of the 2 beautiful children I carried. I hate that moms have to feel shame in this. I want every mom to wear a bikini and be proud of their marks! If we all did it would seem normal to show it off like a battle wound. My husband loves me very much and tells me I’m beautiful and with that I feel very blessed. Life is too short to worry but its so hard not to.

Liberation from my Mommy Body (Lauren)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 5 Comments

Age: 27
3 pregnancies/3 live births
Children Ages: 8yrs, 3yrs and 7mos. 7 months postpartum

I told myself when I decided to sit down and write this that I would be honest……..not only with myself but my readers as well. I’ve always struggled with my body image and self-esteem. Seeing my body as something beautiful has always been a difficult thing for me. I’ve always been short, had big legs that were mismatched from my body and I’ve always been kind of awkward. After having children that struggle has become more of a battle, a war within myself. I have yet to lose a lot of my pregnancy weight, in fact I’ve put some weight on. Mostly in part because I’ve created such an elaborate love affair with food and also because in some ways I’ve given up. I look in the mirror and see a disfigured belly from the three different times it’s stretched and un-stretched, breasts that sag due to breastfeeding and that space between my thighs that used to be somewhat cute and never touched, now it does. Oh, and how did I forget the stretchmarks that seem to cover all the parts of my body that are supposed to be beautiful.

Sitting here, writing this is difficult but I need to do this for me……….and for her. My sons have a strong, confident role model in their lives, I want to be that for her. I don’t want her to grow up and look up to the 95 pound pop star, I want her to look up to me. I wand to be the strong, influential woman in her life. Even if I never fully regain my pre-children figure, I want to love my body, for once feel beautiful in it. It has sheltered, birthed and nurtured three wonderful kids and the stretchmarks and weight are testimony to the lives it has created. I want my daughter to know that no matter what her body looks like, that she is beautiful and that she will be strong and I want her to learn that from me.