Belly

4 Months PP, Breastfeeding, and Struggling with Eating Right (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

I was 19 and in my sophomore year of college 1000 miles away from home when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. My boyfriend was in school 800 miles away, and I had gotten pregnant while we were both home for Christmas Break. I was shocked, scared, etc. We moved back home, lots of struggles, and we’re finally on our feet. Our beautiful baby boy was born on September 9th, 2011. At 10 lbs, 5 oz. he was a C-Section. Not only 10 lbs 5 oz, but 23.25 inches long, my stomach was ruineddd. I was in good shape when I got pregnant. 5’8, and around 180 lbs, but I never worried much about my weight as a number because I never looked as heavy as I was. My stomach was always flat for the most part and I could get abs in no time. I gained about 65 pounds while pregnant.. thanks to my sweet tooth. So I got up to around 250-ish pounds… terrifying number to see on the scale, no matter how much I never worried about the number before. Also, I’m struggling with PPD. My boyfriend tends to ignore it… every time I’ve tried to discuss it with him he shuts down. It’s been hard with no support from him, but I went to the doctor and am now on anti-depressants that I think are helping. My son is my world, he’s PERFECT. But I’m dying to get my body back…. my stretchmarks are un…real…. I’m breastfeeding, so I’m hungry ALL THE TIMEEEE. And no matter how much “good food” I buy, I just grab quick snacks, or even make sugary things because it’s what I’m craving. It’s winter and I’m in the north so working out is difficult… I’m mostly a runner (or I was…) and a gym membership isn’t an option right now due to financial struggles. My boyfriend is super supportive with my body image issues, and tells me I’m beautiful no matter what, but as all women know, that’s never enough to convince YOU. :/ I can live with the stretch marks- I just want that flat tummy back! :(

Pic.1- 4 Month PP Stomach
Pic.2- Side View
Pic.3- Close-Up of Stretch Marks
Pic.4- 39 Weeks Pregnant
Pics. 5 & 6- Pre-Pregnancy Body

Searching For My Old Self (Kathleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions, Update, Uterine Prolapse, VBAC 21 Comments

I am 30 years old and the proud mother of two sons – a 21 month old and 9 week old. My first son was delivered via c-section and my second was a successful vbac.

I am very fond of this website and enjoy reading the many courageous and often inspiring stories.

I was forced to deliver via emergency c-section with my first son due to fetal distress. This was heart breaking for me, as I had so badly wanted to experience a natural delivery. I did however quickly come to terms with my dissapointment when I got to hold my sweet little boy for the first time. It may not have been a picture perfect delivery, but he was here, and healthy.

I wasn’t crazy about my new body after my first son, but learned to embrace it one day at a time. The section scar never bothered me. In fact, it was a reminder of the miracles of modern medicine and how the procedure saved my baby.

Fast forward to the present, and I am now 9 weeks post partum with my second beautiful son. I was so very fortunate to experience a successful vbac. I finally had a natural delivery and it was everything I had hoped it would be. My son did however arrive quickly and forcefully, and I sustained a second degree tear and a uterine prolapse. Needless to say, things are no longer the same down there.

My Dr stated that kegels will help a bit but I could consider surgical repair once we are through having children. I feel so disfigured, and it is truly affecting my ability to be intimate with my husband. He is wonderful, tender and supportive, but I have such a huge hang up about it, that I can’t allow myself to enjoy being intimate. This is only compounded by the fact that the sensation is decreased and I don’t like looking at my stretched out body.

I am trying so hard to overcome my hang ups. I have always considered myself to be a strong confident woman….but she seems to be hiding and I don’t know where to find her.

Updated here.

3 Years PP, Just Accepting Myself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

Hello ladies! First of all thanks for reading this, and thank god for this site!

I am now 3 yrs pp, and I absolutely have to say time DOES heal! At least for me, and I hope it does for you too. I had a very good pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight but was healthy and so was my baby. On my 9th month I started getting my stretch marks.. At first I thought it was the pants (LOL) since I really couldn’t see under my belly… But sure enough they grew ALL OVER.

After the baby, I weighed around 165 I am now 145 (I’m 5’4) so I still have a couple of pounds to loose but its been a LONG way and it’s not until now that’s I’m starting to accept my body. I was only 18 when I had my son and after I would get so depressed, just looking at my body and seeing everyone else so fit and skinny. I would cry for everything cause I was not happy with myself.. I didn’t even want to have sex anymore cause I thought how can I possibly feel sexy looking like this? Half of the time I was mad at my bf for no reason I would always complain and I never felt confident..

I’ve since got on a diet and started to lose weight and exercise and it’s been the best medicine!! My body is looking better although truth is it’s never gonna look how it did or how I want it too! But I’ve come to realize IT’S OKAY!! my boyfriend loves me and doesn’t mind and it took me a while but now I’m starting to not mind either. As much I hate my stretch marks I am thankful to my body for making such a healthy baby! If that’s what it had to do, stretch so much so he could fit LOL and be healthy than that’s fine.

I think confidence it’s sexy, and like I read in another post… Fake til you make it!! Feel confident in your own skin! Cause honey, When it comes down to intimacy I think the last thing your hubby is gonna be into is your stomach :) lol

I’ve started to use strivectin I thi k it’s the name, i know they sell it at sephora but I bought mines at marshalls for $60 bucks I still have to see if it helps… Tanning also helps I need to do that.

I wish I had a picture of my belly when my stretch marks were still purple but these are of now. (I’ve lost weight and exercised but I know it’s gonna be a long time before I loose my little old wrinkly flab) lol
In the one with the blue undies you can see them better..

Age: 21
Pregnancys/births: 1
Age: 3

Frustration (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 14 Comments

My story is LONG and exhausting, but I like to tell it. I hope that I can be inspiration to other females that find themselves where I was, and where I am now.

Previous to my night of conception, I was a vibrant young 20 year old female. I was nearing the end of my third year in college, I spent a lot of my time at the gym, I was coaching a high school cheering team with my best friend, I was single, and I never expected to get pregnant. In fact I was not sexually active for over a year previous to this and I wasn’t planning on being sexually active. Which explains why I was not on birth control at the time.

I took a trip to Boston with my best friend to visit my cousin and his friends. We went to a small house party with just 5 guys and my best and I. I drank quite a lot of beer and I remember taking a one shot the whole entire night. I don’t remember anything after that shot. When I woke up in the morning I was clothed and alone in a bed. I was still very drunk and felt awful. My best friend was the one who woke me and the first thing she asked was if I had sex the night before. She explained that she heard someone in the room with me and she opened the door and saw one of the guys was naked so she shut the door thinking she was interrupting. I told her there was no way I would do that because I was not using birth control. Just in case though I asked the guys. They all either denied it or said they couldn’t remember anything. My friend was sure it happened though. I kind of let it slide thinking I would be okay. A month later I was two weeks late and took a pregnancy test. I of course was pregnant. I immediately got a hold of my cousin and asked him what he knew. He told me he didn’t know anything about what happened and to ask the other guys. I sent a message to each guy at the party asking if it happened without letting them know I was pregnant. They all again denied everything. I then let them all know I was pregnant and it was for sure from that night. After I admitted my pregnancy, I never again heard from any of them. In fact my own cousin stopped speaking to me. I am pro-life and abortion was completely out of the question. After a very emotional month, I started to look into adoption.

I love my child so much, and I would be a responsible and caring mother, no question. But I wanted my child to have a father, and a permanent home, and stability. I would do the best I could and my father would be a male figure in my child’s life, but I wanted more for him. I chose to have an open adoption. I started a long journey of finding out what I had to do and how I had to do it. I found a family on Adoption.org. After speaking with their adoption agent for a while, I finally arranged to meet them in person. I fell in love with the couple I chose. They are both in their thirties, they are unable to have children, married for 8 years, and the perfect two people to raise my child. We became very close over the following 6 months of my pregnancy.

Our baby was born November 30, 2011 after 16 long hours of labor. I tried to do the birth natural. I went 12 hours pushing before the doctor came in and asked me to please have an epidural. I was so tired that I had been falling asleep in between the contractions, he felt that I would be to exhausted to push. I felt defeated and went through with the epidural. An hour later I had not progressed and the doctor came back to tell me I would have to be induced. Again I felt defeated. It was two hours later that my doctor returned and said something was wrong, the baby was not dropping and I needed to have an emergency c section. I could not stop crying. I felt like a failure as a women. For years women had babies naturally and here I was unable. Thank God for my c section though, the umbilical cord was wrapped three times around my babies neck.

The adoption process was the hardest part. I had 2 weeks of legal custody even though my baby was with his parents during that time. For almost an entire month I saw baby and the parents every day before he finally got to move home. I have never felt heartbreak like I did the day I said goodbye. Thankfully I see pictures of him daily and I will be visiting him in 3 months. I have a lot of emotions still and I feel that emptiness everyday, but I am moving forward in my life.

In picking my life back up, I am trying to get back in the shape. Previous to my pregnancy I was 132 lbs and the day I gave birth I was 170 lbs. I am now 6 weeks and 4 days pp. Due to my c section, I was unable to exercise until this week. Thankfully pumping breast milk helped me loose the majority of my weight, I am now 138 lbs. I have started to exercise again but I feel awful about how I look and how hard it is to work out. I don’t know of any other women who have had a c section outside of older women. I can’t relate with anyone my age and I am feeling hopeless…

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 weeks 4 days PP

Pictures:
The first picture is New Years Eve 2012.
The second is my baby and I two weeks pp.
The third is me 3 months pregnant with my best friend.
The fourth picture is me 38 almost 39 weeks.
The 5th and 6th are me at 36 weeks – pre stretch marks.
The last 3 pictures are me today at 6 weeks pp.

4 Babies in 3 Years (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 12 Comments

Hi,
I’m 35, mother of 4 beautiful children.
My PP weight was in 110-120 range. My first – twin pregnancy my weight went up to 198 lb, I went back to 115 lb 9 month after.
18 after the twins I’ve had my third beautiful baby and my weight was up to 170 lb. Again I lost all extra weight by the 9th month after the delivery.
Two years later I’ve had my fourth baby and my weight went up to 165lb. I’ve managed to lose 35 lb, but the rest is still with me.
I feel as if I had been more athletic I could get in the better shape, but my flabby belly will always stay with me and I hate it.
My husband is being very supportive and still very attracted to me sexually which means a lot. In general I feel very proud of my children, my husband and myself. Right clothes, nice hair, lipstick and wedges – and carry myself like a model, makes people turn their heads whenever I get out with all of my babies who are 5,5,4 and 2 now and I feel good. Carry yourself tall, girls, and your bellies will look flatter and your breasts fill sit higher and everyone will see how gorgeous you really are.

Mummy Belly (Catherine)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

I got pregnant at the age of 19, I was skinny all throughout my teens until i hit 18 where it started to pile on. Pregnancy made me gain a silly amount of weight.

I’ve never exercised and I didn’t want to start whilst pregnant. After having my beautiful daughter I was left with a lot of excess skin around my tummy and my body is covered in stretch marks. I don’t mind the stretch marks though, to me they’re just as natural as freckles. But the excess skin has made me so conscious about myself. I have to wear long shirts to cover it all the time and it makes me cry when I look in the mirror. I guess I just want reassurance that with time & work it will tighten?

Shoot for the Moon (Analisa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 16 Comments

Before I start I just want to say that in all the years I’ve read through “your” stories and seen “your” photos I’ve yet to see an ugly body. I believe our perception of our own body image is the only true “ugly” thing I’ve seen…including my own.

My name is Analisa. I am 29 years old. I’ve been married for almost 14 years, had 6 kids and since June, 2011, divorced.

I really don’t remember how it felt to have a nice teenage body. I had my first son at 15 years old. I gained about 50 lbs with him.
When he was four months old I became pregnant with my daughter. I didn’t realize how much pregnancy had taken a toll on my body, till my then 17 year old husband asked me,” Didn’t your boobs used to look like this?” while he held up one side of my chest. One day he took my son’s etch-a-sketch and drew a picture of a woman with boobs that like those ladies in Africa on National Geographic. He showed it to me while laughing his head off saying it was me. I can’t tell you how bad that hurt my feelings. That started my total disgust and loathing of my body.

As days past I became extremely self-conscious and would no longer allow him to see me without my bra on. To this day the only time I take off my bra is to shower. I don’t want to see them any longer than I have too.

I realize my body went through a lot to bring my beautiful children into this world, but, it doesn’t make sense to me to now not take care of the damage. You get cavities you go to the dentist and get them filled. I believe this is the same kind of thing. I can no longer accept the body I have. I want to do something about it.

I’m a bit on the skinny side but at the same time I’m not fit. I’m what some people would call “skinny fat”. I look okay in my clothes, but outside of them is a whole other story. I would actually like to gain some weight by toning up..I have no butt. :( I’m not sure if exercise will do anything for the loose skin on my stomach but I’m willing to try. I am going to try building up my chest muscles before I decide whether or not to get implants. I don’t care if they are small as long as they just look normal.

I decided that 2012 is going to be my year to turn this around. I started a blog type website called “The Jillian Challenge”(Jillian as in “Jillian Michaels” ) to keep track of my progress and also maybe inspire other moms out there that are feeling the same way to get in shape.

This is an excerpt off my site’s home page:

When I look in the mirror I see a misshapen old woman, thinking, “this can’t possibly be my body!”. I’m tired of feeling disgusting..I want to get in shape to the best of my ability. I know we’ve all heard that quote…
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” ~Brian Littrell

That’s why I chose Jillian Michaels to be the body image I aspire to. You can’t possibly aim higher than that. If I could get anywhere close to how her body looks it would be amazing. I am starting a 6 month challenge to get my body to look as close to her’s as possible. I will be following her diet advice, doing her workout DVDs and using her equipment.

In the first belly pic you can see I have a small hernia above my belly button caused by pregnancy. It will have to be surgically fixed.

Well, we will see what happens.. :) Good luck to all you Mom’s in this new year!

The Shadow Fear Casts is Often Bigger Than the Fear Itself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 2 Comments

My husband told me that I was beautiful every day of my pregnancy, including while I was in the hospital in labor. From day one, I was deathly afraid of the changes that my body would undergo. My mind was filled with all of the horror stories that I had heard about pregnancy and the recovery afterwards. Our pregnancy was not planned (though we welcomed it all the same), so I felt that I didn’t have time adequately prepare myself for those fears beforehand. My body was stretching changing and gaining weight and there was nothing that I could do about it. Everyday, I would look in the mirror and stare at my thickening thighs and butt as they lost the muscle definition that I had fought so hard to attain, and everyday, I felt my opinion of my appearance sink lower and lower. Everyone around me told me how great I was doing, how incredible I looked, etc. but all that I could see was the shapeless whale in the mirror. I heard a constant barrage of, “You’ve only gained 20 lbs? You’re kidding!” and other compliments, but I always worried that yes, I looked good today– but what about tomorrow? When would the stretch marks creep across my belly? Would the ones coming into my hips lengthen and spread, and turn to that angry red that I saw in pictures? Would my skin bag once I delivered? I became more obsessed with my appearance than I ever had been before, and despite my husband’s frequent efforts to cheer me up, I continued to run my own confidence down.
And after all of that worry, all of my stress, I had gained only 21 lbs when I delivered at 41 1/2 weeks. My girl was big, strong and healthy, but I hadn’t gained much at all. The only stretch marks I had gotten were a smattering of tiny dents on my hips and I was 10 lbs under my prepregnancy weight by 8 days postpartum. I was terrified that my body would change and never be the same again, but I was in my prepregnancy jeans by 3 weeks. Why in the world did I sit there and torment myself for 8 months? Even if I had struggled to recover after birth, what profit would I have gotten from all of that stress and worry? I wore myself down for months with what I “knew” would happen to my body and very little of it even came to pass. What I learned from my pregnancy and postpartum period was that there’s no use killing myself over what might happen. Instead, I need to calm down and take things in stride, dealing with problems when they actually arise.

Age: 21
Number of children: My one little girl
How old: She is 8 weeks old, though I took the picture a few weeks ago.

22 With 3, Starting to Slowly Accept and Change my Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 5 Comments

Previous post here.

When I was 6 1/2 months pregnant with my 3rd, my kids father left me and I in turn fell into a depression for pretty much the rest of my pregnancy. By the end of my pregnancy I had only gained 13lbs, and when my daughter was born at 39wks, she only weighed 6lbs, which the doctors said was under weight for her gestational age, but she is healthy. I was still so down after having her that my weight quickly went down to 170, and now 13months later I am still a single mother to my kids, and as sad as I get with my weight I realize that I have lost a good amount and I believe I look way better then I did before, plus the couple men that I have been with since having my daughter have not complained :) . I am now at 166 and would like to lose at least 20 more lbs, but I’m in no hurry.

The attached pictures are me at 13mos postpartum.

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 1/2yrs, 3 1/2yrs, 13 1/2 months, 13 months post-partum.

Updated here.

Hating My Body (Shantel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 10 Comments

age 23
1 pregnancy
3.5 post partum.

I have always loved my body for the most part, I’ve always been attractive and confident. It is very difficult to see myself the way I look after I had my son because this isn’t the me that I see when I think about myself. I honestly think my belly is hideous it is the worst stomach I’ve seen out of anyone I personally know that has been pregnant. I have seen worse on the internet, but honestly not too many seem worse than mine. My boyfriend claims to not mind at all but I know he does, he rarely have sex anymore and I cant help but think its because of my stomach. I hate it and its really hard to have confidence. I weigh 124 right now i used to weigh 110 so Im really not that far off weight wise but its wrinkly and saggy :( I would wear a size 5 if it were not for my belly and i have to wear 9s.

the first picture is a nude picture of me right before I got pregnant.
the second is of me while I was VERY pregnant. not sure exactly when but it wasn’t long before I had Connor.
the rest are all of my 3.5 months postpartum.
please excuse all my clothes on the floor lol
me with clothes on
and the last is of me and my baby boy Connor

Updated here.